View source for 2026-06-22: What They Can't See

*'''Log: What They Can't See'''
*'''Cast:''' [[Tsubasa Seki]], [[Ichika Kawase]]
*'''Where:''' Hirasaka Ward, Sumaru City
*'''OOC Date:''' June 22, 2026
*'''IC Date:''' November 28, 2012
*'''Summary''': ''Tsubasa took off earlier than most, after the events of Ulala's Joker confrontation, and took off from school quickly too.  Ichika follows after when she can, to see how it's going... and does her best to reassure them.  The matter of Tsubasa's mother comes up--and whether they can be forgiven for their own mistakes.''

----


 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    Even when they saved Ulala... they were only able to suppress the Joker inside her.

    Phoenix left before the others did, though. And not ''just'' because they had identities to protect --

    As they said, "... don't like bein' seen."

    Not a fan of Igor's insights, huh...?

    Tsubasa gets to school okay the next day, but ''after'' school, they shoot through. And perhaps it's to walk Lance, except that once they get home they just kind of... throw their clothes everywhere, toss on an around-the-house tank and shorts, and faceplant into bed.

    "Uggggh," is what they have to say for themself, as they think about needing to make a ''report.'' Somehow they manage to grab their phone, tap something out, and send it to the group chat... before planting their head right back down on their pillow.

    "Ugh."

    It's finally happened... they're ''too sad to move.''


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
Ichika doesn't mind being 'seen'; she finds the Velvet Room comforting. ...Yes, comforting, not just soothing; there, it's like the wounds she's suffered in her life are eased a little bit. She particularly likes Belladonna and Nameless... though when she told Nameless he was cute, he just kept playing and commented that it's only the first time a mortal had such a reaction to him... 

But that was then, and this is now. 

After school, Ichika actually doesn't immediately go with Tsubasa. She has shit to finish! But when she does finish, she checks her phone, notices the report... 

Soon, Shuyo lets her in, though he might comment that she might as well have a key, since she cleans the place. 

Knock knock against the doorframe. 

"Tsubasa?" Ichika asks. "Can I come in?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    Tsubasa spends way too much time and money on covering ''up'' those wounds for some weirdo to instantly ID what's fucking them today. Stop helping them, it's weird!!!

    When Shuyo tried to lean in the door, Tsubasa waved an arm in his vague direction and told him to, "fuggoff."

    The second time the door slides open, they groan, "nuhhhh --"

    Except hey it's Ichika!

    "... hey babe," Tsubasa cuts off their swears, hand waving vaguely in the air in -- well, actually, it's the exact same motion as before, they simply cannot be arsed.

    It ''probably'' means she can come in this time, though.

    But only if she can first walk past the clothes on the floor without getting bothered by them...!


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
"Thanks," Ichika says to Shuyo, "I got it from here." 

It's Ichika! Ichika smiles at Tsubasa when she steps inside, because she absolutely takes that as a yes. She slides the door closed again after she's through, and then--looks at the pile of clothes. Her nose wrinkles. "Tsubasa..." 

Well, they're having a rough time. But when in Rome, she heard someone say once, and she doesn't know the rest of the phrase. ...Anyway the point is, she tugs off her long skirt so it doesn't get tangled up in her legs when she climbs onto the bed to put an arm around Tsubasa. 

If she can manage it, she'll shove her way in a little so she can turn her head to look at Tsubasa's face. 

"Hey," Ichika says again.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    When in Rome, do as the Romans do. You'd think it's one of those ancient Roman sayings, and it kind of is, but it makes more sense to think of it as early Christian. Technically, post-Christ Rome's still Roman, but Jesus is a way different vibe to Zeus, ya dig?

    Explanations this good and more could be YOURS, Ichika, if you just asked your secretly nerdy partner about it and sent them on a fevered research tear!

    Sadly, that won't be today.

    Tsubasa shifts over, to give Ichika room on the bed -- it's a single, and don't ASK them how many times they've rolled the wrong way sharing it and sent Tsubasa tumbling down onto the floor with a yipe of FUCK! at three in the morning, that'll just embarrass ''both'' of them -- which, coincidentally, makes it easier for her to nose her face in and look them in the eyes.

    They haven't been crying, shut up, and you wanna buy a bridge while you're here?

    "Hey," Tsubasa says, an arm curling around Ichika in turn.

    "... shit's cooked, uh? She ain't gon' listen to me... an'... pre' far out from her, so... uh..."

    Nah, they think, mouth clenching shut. Not sayin' it.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
Ichika could totally get those lessons! Sometimes she does! For now, all that matters is that she'll clean later. Ichika accepts the extra room, sees the tears that Tsubasa definitely hasn't shed, and carefully arranges herself so as not to push them off like she has absolutely done before. 

Instead... 

She scoots in closer with that tacit permission, concern in her eyes. Shit's cooked... 

"It's bad," Ichika agrees quietly, looking into Tsubasa's eyes. 

"...She wouldn't listen. Not even if you ''did'' go back. Your father would call it crazy talk and everything would be at least as bad, maybe worse." 

"Doesn't mean I have a better idea, but... Not... that one."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "Mm," Tsubasa grunts, their own gaze flicking away. Those icy blue eyes of theirs have always been a little weird... like someone was doing something they shouldn't have, a few generations back.

    ... you don't talk about that kind of thing in a good family.

    "So I jus'... let her turn into ''that''... kill a bunch a people? Don't reckon she's got Serizawa-san's reasons to keep a lid on it 'til th' one she wants rocks up." Their head shakes, slightly, against the pillow. "... sometimes ya gotta deal with shit."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
Ichika likes Tsubasa's eyes. 

"You try to fight one of those on your own and you're dead," Ichika points out. "We can't ''all'' be there, all the time, either. ...We gotta keep an eye out, but..." 

Ichika shakes her head. "You going in alone isn't the answer either." 

Ichika sighs, and curls her fingers around Tsubasa's shoulder. "Hey..." 

"It's not your fault."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "As if anyone gon' show up with me seein' me 'round on 'em," Tsubasa mutters, darkly.

    They all saw how violent Phoenix was, then.

    They at least keep their disagreement with Ichika's evaluation of the answer to themself, rather than argue with her outright, carried entirely in their stormy scowl.

    Ichika's instinct to take Tsubasa's shoulder turns out to be prescient, though, because ''their'' first instinct on being told they're blameless is to jerk away. With that avenue of escape denied, they look first to her fingers -- long, she'd be well-suited to the keyboard -- and then past her wrist, to find her face again.

    It's not her grip that's got them looking trapped.

    "How it ain't?" They ask, and it's counter-programming and it's something they have to ''think'' about but they still tug Ichika in to bury their face at her shoulder, anyway. (They're shaking.) "Wouldn't a called shit if I'd got along. Now, fuckin'... can you even drag someone into that freaky-ass place if they don't got no Persona, even if we fucked her up before she got herself killed? I ain't never seen Igor go on no fuckin' strolls outside."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
"Tsubasa," Ichika says then, her tone one of disagreement, at how no one would show up. 

Still--

Ichika's hands are softer than Tsubasa's, would be even if Tsubasa weren't scarred, probably. They look almost delicate, despite the fact that she's thrown her share of punches. ...Almost. 

Ichika holds Tsubasa closer. "Because ''she'' did it, not you. You can't blame yourself for someone's reaction to you--especially when you didn't do something wrong in the first place, trying to be yourself." 

Ichika is sure of this, at least. But the rest... 

"Dunno," Ichika admits. "But I can ask. I don't see any reason why not, anyway. We can try, right?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "'Least no one what ain't no Thief," Tsubasa amends their statement of ''abandonment,'' on Ichika's prompting.

    Sure, maybe there's, like, a handful of people who won't dump them summarily.

    But all those ''other'' people--!!

    Ichika looks more delicate than Tsubasa does; but looks can be deceiving. Indeed, Tsubasa's not so much 'counting on it' as they have 'invested an entire stock portfolio into it'.

    "Myself sucks," Tsubasa mutters, into Ichika's softer skin. "Pain in the ass."

    They take a deep breath, closing their eyes. "... feels pointless," ''trying,'' they mean, in that pessimistic manner they always seem to fall back into. "But... sure... I guess."

    If you can't see any hope in the future, borrowing it from your companions is fine, too.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
"It was an honest mistake," Ichika says softly. "It'll be OK." 

Still; Ichika may look soft, and be soft in some respects, but emotionally she's made of stern enough stuff to keep up with what's going on with her partner now. Tsubasa mutters, but Ichika holds them close. "I love you," she says. "And your 'self'." 

But it feels pointless... 

"Mm," Ichika says, and she knows there's no guarantee it'll end well, or that they can really ''do'' anything, but... 

"Thanks," she murmurs. "Let's keep doing our best."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "Mistake kinda implies it ain't gon' happen again," Tsubasa grumbles, dourly. "Shit's more like malfunction."

    They've been thinking about it, obviously. (Beating themself up about it.) ... and it's hard to imagine them doing any better about it, next time.

    Being fair, there's more than one way to be strong. Tsubasa might be a powerhouse, but it's painfully clear in situations like this that ''emotions'' are a weak point for them... unlike Ichika.

    "'Least one of us does," they grumble, with no self-love whatsoever, only to draw in a ragged breath and cling a little tighter. "Sorry -- I'm okay -- I mean, uh -- I ain't -- I'm good," and perhaps it's no wonder they'd be worried about coming off as a danger to themself, when they've been thinking of their mother and the way she'd need ''rousing'' from those sleeping pills sometimes. "Sorry. Love you."

    'Doing their best...'

    "Jus' don't see no way out," they admit, their voice wobbling a touch. Ichika's shoulder is probably damp because there's a leak in the roof or something, don't even worry about it. "Any way I go, someone gets hurt... it's like that. I'm fuckin' cursed..."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
"So you'll work harder to avoid it. ...And I'll help. And if it happens again, I'll help with that, too." 

But one of them does. "It's OK," Ichika answers. "I'll just love you more about it, OK?" A danger... Ichika gets it, anyway. "I love you." 

But Tsubasa doesn't see a way out, and Ichika's shoulder is damp, sure. But she doesn't mind that too much. "...You don't ''just'' hurt people, though. You really helped me. ...You do, all the time." 

"...yeah, there's some shit wrong," she admits. "But it's not over, either. ...We'll keep going. Together."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "Feels like I jus' keep gettin' worse with it..." Tsubasa grumbles, and completely fails to frame that aggression against all the testosterone they're putting in their veins lately.

    Something, something, mood changes, what's going on under the hood changing before getting to anything on the outside.

    (Is that really all it is...?)

    "'Kay," Tsubasa will just have to trust that one to Ichika, right now. That's something which was just as hard to figure out, but they know that they can trust ''her.'' "Love you, too..."

    Well, they're not lying to her face about that one, so it has to be true that they can do ''something'' other than wreck shit up. "Yeah..." Tsubasa starts, slowly. "... yeah. One day at a time, or whatever... ugh, sounds like some shit th' counsellor'd spin up." They pause, for a moment. "Uh. Not like I'm dissin' him. Marlowe-sensei's cool, I guess. Not like Inoue-sensei," who gets the title from being a ''doctor,'' not a teacher, as it happens. "... ugh, gotta tell all them to fuck off, again, don't I, fuckers auto-schedule appointments. Uh... tho'... maybe I oughta... know I'm fucked."

    (Tsubasa has apparently found different explanations for everything going wrong than the counsellor being behind it all. That's probably for the best... out of all their wild-ass theories, that one had to be the ''most'' off-base, right? Real crazy shit.)


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
"Shit feels bad right now," Ichika says gently. "Makes sense that it'd ''all'' feel bad when you're feeling shitty, right?" 

She has noticed a lot of changes--but she doesn't really want to associate 'aggression' as one of them. So... 

Tsubasa can trust Ichika. That's at least something. Ichika even smile slightly. 

"It does," she admits, sound like something he'd say. But he's cool, and--"Yeah, fuck that other guy," Ichika agrees. "But..." 

"Maybe you should see Marlowe-sensei," she encourages. "He's not gonna pull that medical shit on you. He just talks. ...I see him sometimes, too." 

Ichika sure remembers that one. But... 

It was a little stressful.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "Yeah... guess so," Tsubasa can accept that much, from Ichika's moderating force, even if they're ''pretty'' sure they're right about everything being the worst forever.

    ... Tsubasa doesn't really want to think of aggression as something they ''really'' are, either. But if wishes were fishes, they'd all be having fish and chips!

    (They're stressed, too.)

    "I mean... I see him sometimes," Tsubasa shrugs a shoulder. "Like... reckon he's why they ain't on my case as much 'bout wearin' pants. Wrote me up as exempt or some shit, I dunno." There's no policy at Kasugayama for handling transgender students; ''girls'' wear ''skirts,'' full ''stop.'' Fair or not, they cop a lot of detention for it... or at least they ''did,'' before Julian made it into his business.

    These days, they get a bit of side-eye over their ''exemption,'' but they at least don't get kept back for half their afternoons any more, as if detention were their goddamn school club.

    Just, you know, ''some'' afternoons. When they don't manage to get out of dodge before the teacher comes to bust up a fight.

    That's normal, in Kasugayama, it's fine.

    (Tsubasa doesn't know how hard that might have been... but they can hazard a guess, so it's no wonder they think he's cool now.)

    "Jus', this shit... I dunno. Lot to talk about with some guy who ain't in it. Guess... it ain't like there ain't no one who ain't, tho', like... Inaba-san an' big sis an' Uchida-san... man, what if they're over Phoenix's shit after that now too, tho'?" Tsubasa just presumes all the experienced adults talk about everything together. Like... in a book club or some shit. Boring adult garbage.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
Ichika tries to moderate, anyway; it's just something she does. ...But here... 

"That's good," Ichika says, still encouraging. "...Probably yeah. He does his best for us." The students. And he's even sponsoring her school paper... 

But it is normal, in Kasugayama. 

"It's a lot," Ichika agrees. "...But maybe that's good. Lets you process, right? But..." 

Ichika squeezes Tsubasa again. "Hey. They're still cool," Ichika says. "I'm sure of it. I was just talking to big sis the other day. She was out shopping and shit." 

"They're not gonna take off with one bad day. I'm sure."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "Doin' ya best... guess it's like that. Feels like an excuse if I try an' say it, tho'... guess that's havin' standards too high, or some shit. Get told I'm me own worst critic. Jus' seems fair when I'm criticisin' everyone else, too..."

    "... yeah." They scowl, as they add: "An' I mean, ain't jus' me mom... Sakurai-san's gon' be fucked, too." Plus everyone else who called, right, Tsubasa?

    Right?

    (Sorry! You need to have at least a Level 4 Social Link for Tsubasa to give a damn on any kind of personal level. Those damns cost money, you know? They ain't just givin' that shit away for free.)

    "Mm.... maybe they'd give me another shot," they suppose, though they're a little more dubious of it all. "Be weird if they spent all that time on me an' then jus' dumped me in th' trash... uh, not like they know I'm me, or anythin'."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
"Mm, it's not fair. You should be good to yourself, too." 

But, "...Right... a lot of people who just.. did one fucked-up thing." Ichika cares about the others, it's fine. "You were right, when you said it to me. ...That we're not about that being a death sentence." 

But maybe... 

"Right," Ichika encourages. "It'd be weird. It's not gonna go down like that. ...Not for Tsubasa, not for Phoenix either." 

"You'll see."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "... tryin'," Tsubasa rumbles, after a moment's pause, when Ichika tells them to be good to ''themself.''

    They're trying for Ichika's sake rather than theirs, but it's something, right?

    "... felt real stupid when I tried to give that prick th' benefit a th' doubt an' it was worse'n him wantin' to save his own skin," Tsubasa grumbles, into Ichika. "Shithead made me look like an idiot... but that ain't a hangin' offence or nothin' neither," they admit, grumble grumble.

    "Guess I jus'... felt like shit, so everyone else din' look so bad... like everythin' gets weighed by th' heaviest shit in th' room. Guess that ain't, like... logical, tho..."

    It's not like there's always one hundred percent of badness in a situation allotted across all the bad things happening, right? And it's probably trauma or some shit that makes them assume like eighty percent is vested in them at all times.

    Probably.

    "I can't see it right now," Tsubasa sighs. "But... I believe you're seein' it, so... I'll keep lookin'. Sorry," they add, giving her a little squeeze. "... know I'm bein' a lot. Let's keep eyes on that prick Makimura a while... make sure he ain't lyin. Can get Hibari-chan to keep her ear to th' ground, too."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
<poem>
Trying. It counts. It's definitely something, anyway. "Yeah," she says. 

But, "...Yeah, that sucked," Ichika says. "And he was ready to take advantage, too. The way he was looking at you like you could solve all his problems..." It made her really mad. 

"...Dunno about logic," Ichika admits, "But I don't think it's how things are." 

Probably trauma. Probably. But Ichika will do her best, all the same. 

"Thanks," Ichika says softly, and accepts the squeeze, leaning in a little more on the single bed. "It's OK," Ichika says. "I'm just happy to be here with you. ...Let's do that, yeah." 

"...I love you," she says again, as if Tsubasa needs reminding. Maybe they do.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
<poem>
    "Tch... he reckoned I'd execute her ass. Guess... that's how I look, tho'." Tsubasa's bothered about it.

    "Reckon ya know more 'bout it than ya reckon," they add, on the topic of ''logic.''

    She wants to be here, though... "... thanks for checkin'," they rumble, into her shoulder. "Prolly woulda jus'... laid flat 'til Lance got antsy 'bout her mornin' walk, huh." They curl around her, a little more, as they say: "... I know. Love you, too. Get ya dinner in a bit, jus'... let's chill a bit, yeah...?"

    Technically, it's ''not'' lying perfectly flat if they've got to hold onto Ichika too!!
</poem>

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