2025-06-27: I Want To Live
- Log: I Want To Live
- Cast: Fuuka Yamagishi, Natsuki Moriyama, Maki Noguchi, Karin Komatsu
- Where: Gekkoukan High School / Tartarus, Arqa Block
- OOC Date: 2025-06-27
- IC Date: May 29, 2012
- Summary: Natsuki and her crew lock their 'friend', Fuuka, in the gymnasium's storage closet. Fuuka goes somewhere... else.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwaTrGOLSJ4 Persona 3 - Fearful Experience
It's dark, out there, but Fuuka received a call from her 'friends'. They found something cool at the gymnasium, and they really, really want their best friend to come check it out with them. "You were the first one I called," Natsuki says, over the phone, though her sympathising is entirely fake. "You know... I just can't rely on some of the other girls in class. They don't listen to us one bit... but you trust me, right? This is something you've gotta see with your own eyes! Don't worry, you won't get in trouble!"
Of course, Natsuki knows that Fuuka would never want to let someone down or be seen as unreliable. She knows that all too well... because of her own feelings. And how dare this model, straight-A student act like she isn't falling apart behind the curtains?
They'll meet her at the front of the school; they promised she wouldn't get in trouble, after all, and that means sneaking her in. There's Natsuki Moriyama, the gyaru boss with her fake tan and dyed orange hair. Maki Noguchi, wearing brown pigtails as she stands beside her, is her second-in-command; Karin Komatsu is a newer addition, a tall girl with short, dark blue hair, eager to prove herself to the cool rule-breakers around her.
"Wow, you really came!" Natsuki exclaims, a hand to her painted white lips. "I can't believe you're so..."
The girls start snickering.
"... reliable," Natsuki finishes, though she's snickering too.
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
It's late. Fuuka had only just excused herself from dinner with her parents when she received a phone call. Natsuki's name flashes on-screen, and there's only a moment of hesitation before Fuuka picks up. There's something cool. They want their best friend.
"I don't think- If someone catches us..." Fuuka starts her protest - but it quickly dies on her lips as Natsuki continues. She's the first one she called. She can't rely on some of the other girls. Fuuka swallows, and her protest goes down with it.
"...Yes, of course I trust you, Moriyama-san. I'll be right there." Fuuka assures her.
She tells her parents she's going out to meet a friend with a study session. They don't even look twice at her.
...Lying to them feels easier than it should be, she thinks.
And so, Fuuka finds her way to Gekkoukan's front gates, where Natsuki and her friends have gathered.
"Hello, everyone." Fuuka greets, hands clasped in front of her as she looks at each girl in turn. Her eyes linger for a moment longer on Karin and her blue hair. She wonders if she dyes it like the others, or if it's like hers.
"I try my best..." Fuuka offers awkwardly as Natsuki praises her 'reliability'. The girls start snickering. Fuuka lets out a small, awkward, self-effacing single laugh of her own.
Even though she's the butt of the joke.
Even though she knows that.
It's fine, isn't it? As long as they're smiling.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
Judging by the barest hint of her brown roots, Karin's hair definitely is a dye job -- though she'll certainly need to fix that tell soon, if she wants to remain fashionable.
"Haha...!" "Eheheh!" "Ahaha!"
See? They're laughing together. They're friends.
Natsuki reaches out to clasp Fuuka's hand, and if her grip is a little crushing, it must just be how glad she is to see her. "C'mon!" She smiles, though all the warmth behind it is as fake as a lightbulb simulating a fireplace. "I know that having real fun is hard for you, but we're here to help you out. Right, girls?"
"Duh," Maki smirks, flicking a pigtail with her hand. "We're, like, the most helpful."
"Super-duper helpful," Karin agrees -- as she comes around behind Fuuka to push her forward with her flattened hands, as Natsuki tugs her forward.
Would something like that make her stumble? It must have been an accident. After all: "Encouragement! Encouragement!" The girls chant, as they 'encourage' Fuuka into the gates and around the side of the school grounds, making their way towards the gymnasium the long way around. "Courage, courage! Roar like a lion, Fuuka-chan! Do it!"
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
The three girls break into laughter. Fuuka smiles a bit wider, mirthlessly, the red flush of embarrassment creeping across her cheeks. Natsuki reaches out to take her hand, and she doesn't have it in herself to reject it. She winces at the tight grip - but she bites down any protest. She doesn't want to complain in front of them. It's not like she did it on purpose.
Natsuki's smile might be fake - but staring right into it is no less blinding. There's another awkward laugh as Natsuki and her friends assures her they're here to help her have real fun. Reminds her of how helpful they are.
...What does 'real fun' even mean...?
...She doesn't ask. She can't ask.
"Um... Thank you. For -" Fuuka starts - and there's a gasp of surprise as, simultaneously, Karin pushes her and Natsuki tugs her forward. Fuuka stumbles. For a second, she's worried she's going to trip over and bring Natsuki down with her. That mortifying thought gets her to scramble awkwardly to keep herself standing.
If that happened, she'd never forgive her. If that happened...
"S-sorry. I'm sorry." Fuuka apologises quickly for something that isn't her fault. It was just an accident.
The girls chant encouragement, encouraging her through the gates. She follows, as if on auto-pilot - though with the way they're positioned, she doesn't have much choice.
They tell her to roar like a lion... but right now, she feels like she's surrounded by them.
"I don't... I don't think I can do that..." She starts, quailing for a moment, the red on her cheeks only deepening. She doesn't have it in herself to protest or deny them, for long, though, not when they're 'encouraging' her so fervently. She shuts her eyes, and opens her mouth.
...It's a weak, flimsy 'roar'. She's not used to raising her voice.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
"You'd better be," Natsuki scolds her, "you almost tripped me up!" They made her do that, of course, but they still make it her fault.
They're...
Well, it's hard for Fuuka to have other friends, isn't it? These lawless bullies have staked their claim over her, which means that anyone else approaching Fuuka would be challenging Natsuki, the baddest beach on the coast of Gekkoukan. It's easy for them to claim they're Fuuka's best friends when their classmates aren't willing to even try.
On a playing field like that, it's easy for them to be the best friends Fuuka has.
And in Natsuki's mind, that serves her right -- there's no way she could stand her having the support of good friends, when Natsuki has to stay out until past midnight to avoid her parents at home. If Fuuka wants to pretend, the gyaru thinks, she can just keep pretending.
'Encouragement' is another word for pain, isn't it?
"C'moooon," Maki grins, razor-sharp, clapping her hands together as Fuuka protests. "No one's even around! You're not a chicken, right? Roar as loud as you can!"
"Do it, do it!" Karin echoes her, at Fuuka's other side.
And lo... ra....rrrrr...
Natsuki turns back to Fuuka, gesturing frustration with her free hand. "Seriously? You can't even play along?" She asks, disgust twisting her features. "Ugh, I'm so disappointed. We're trying to include you, you know. You really don't make this easy."
"Maybe we shouldn't even show you what we found," Karin huffs, folding her arms.
"You're just not committed, are you?" Maki pouts, putting her hands on her hips. "Seriously. Why do you have to make everything so hard?"
And yet, regardless of their 'doubts', they've gotten close to the gymnasium... the doors leading from the green of the track into the gym are just ahead.
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
"I'm sorry." Fuuka apologises again, quickly, a note of panic creeping into her voice at Natsuki's scolding tone. If she says it enough times, maybe they'll accept it - maybe they'll accept her.
Maki urges her. Her razor-sharp grin is as cutting as her words. Fuuka inhales sharply. Intellectually, she knows she shouldn't let a provocation like that hurt her, the implication of cowardice...
It still does, though. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier, with them both at each ear and Natsuki ahead of her.
So she tries -
- and fails to meet their standards.
She can see the frustation on in her gestures, the disgust on her face and in her voice. And as Natsuki tells her how she's so disappointed, as the others question if she's even worth it, that she makes everything so hard... Fuuka eyes open wide. Her mouth opens but her voice catches on her throat, that familiar expression of despair, like the world is ending, on her face. Her pulse quickens, just a little.
"M-Moriyama-san..." Fuuka starts. Her voice quickens, desperately. She looks down at the ground, unable to look her in the eye. She stares at the Gekkoukan grounds, instead. "...I know. I'm sorry. Everyone's been trying so hard for me... I'll do better next time, so please..."
For as much as they put her through, if she loses this... what'll she have left? The Art Club?
...She's not sure she would even have that, if they decided she wasn't worth it anymore. She can't lose this.
...Fuuka looks up again, briefly, as she catches the terrain of the gym. They're almost there...
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
How can sorry be good enough when she's such a sorry excuse for a friend? That's the question Natsuki's asked Fuuka -- more than once.
Tonight, she doesn't even bother. Fuuka's failings aren't even worth the effort to chastise any more...
The disgust on Natsuki's face twists -- in fact, because she's trying to suppress laughing again, though it might look like she's suppressing anger instead. "You'd better make it up to us," she says, with a bit of a clipped tone, as if she's struggling to keep her voice even. (As internally she thinks, don't laugh, don't laugh, oh my god, this will be so much funnier if you keep the bit going.) "C'mon, we're almost there."
Karin and Maki hurry forward to throw open the doors of the gym -- they stole the keys, how delinquent! "It's just in here!" Maki says, as the girls' faces brighten again.
"This way!" Natsuki urges her, tugging her into the empty gymnasium...
... though nothing is here.
It's just the light of the moon, filtering in through the windows, painting everything aqua blue. Without any real lighting, everything is painted in those underwater shades. Their shoes squeak on the polished floor, but no guards are nearby to hear them.
Which is lucky, as Natsuki squeezes Fuuka's hand and yanks her around -- to face the storage closet.
"It's just in here!" She urges her, encouraging again. "Look closely, and you'll find your true purpose in life!"
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
Fuuka's found herself wondering the same question. She hasn't found an answer yet. Maybe if she did, things would be different. But for now, the only thing she can do is to keep clinging to her, for as long as she'll allow.
But she notices the way Natsuki's face twists, like she's holding something back - and that thought is terrifying enough that she doesn't inspect that expression any further, doesn't detect the laughter that's trying its hardest to burst out.
"I will. I will, Moriyama-san, so..." Fuuka starts. She looks toward Karin and Maki as they hurry forward, opening up the doors. How...?
...No. She knows how. She's already fully aware of how many rules they're breaking right now. She's just as guilty as the rest of them - that's all the more reason she shouldn't say anything. About this, or about them. Natsuki urges her forward and Fuuka picks up the pace a little, hurrying into...
...the empty gymnasium?
...There's nothing here. It's eerie, the sight of the gym lit by the moon. She flinches at every squeak of shoes on floor, the sound magnifying almost deafeningly in the silence of the night, feeling as if at any moment it might summon the janitor or the night guard.
Just as Fuuka is wondering what she's supposed to be seeing, Natsuki yanks her around, pointing her toward the storage closet.
'True purpose in life'...? A quizzical expression crosses Fuuka's face. Suspicion starts to creep up on her - but with three sets of eyes watching her, she knows she couldn't possibly back down now. They'd never let her live it down. They'd be so disappointed in her. They'd -
Fuuka takes a step forward toward the gym storage closet. Inside is...? ...What is she supposed to be seeing in there? She leans forward a little, trying to get a better look.
"Um... Is this a joke...? I'm sorry, I don't think I get it..." Fuuka apologises. Of course it's her fault that she doesn't get it. Of course it's her fault that she's the joke.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
It's still as a grave, in here.
... but it's all in good fun, isn't it?
Maki and Karin step forward, to shove Fuuka deeper into the closet, as Natsuki rests a hand on her hip. "It's the only thing you're good for," she grins. "Keeping watch over the school at night! We found you a perfect place to keep an eye on everything, isn't it cool?"
The girls laugh, as they shove at her, knowing she'll be reluctant to embrace her destiny. "Go on! Get in there!"
Maki still has the keys...
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
Fuuka stares into the closet at nothing. ...It's fine. This is enough, right? Isn't it -
She feels a sudden push at her back and, startled, she catches the doorframe to try and stop herself from getting shoved in.
But it's two against one, and Natsuki's words stab at her like a knife.
The only thing she's good for...
She hesitates - and that's enough. She's overpowered, stumbling into the closest. She scrambles once again to catch her footing before she falls - but this time, she's truly alone.
She whirls around, looking upon the three of them with a look of profound betrayal on her face.
"Moriyama-san -" Fuuka starts to plead, stepping forward.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
She can start, but she won't get far. Between them, Maki and Karin can each slide one half of the storage closet's doors closed, laughing as Natsuki is cast in moonlight silhouette. For a moment, she's the only thing in view, her eyes catching the light from the windows.
"Thanks for guarding the school!" She calls, mockingly, as even that sliver of light thuds to nothing -- just before Fuuka's hands can press against the door.
Click!, Maki locks the doors, swinging the keys around on a finger as she laughs. The other girls laugh, too, as they walk away.
"Hahahahaha, did you see the look on her face? I bet she'll be bawling when the janitors find her!"
"She'll be on her knees, begging for mercy! How pathetic!"
"Pleaaaaase, won't someone save meeeeeeee? Haha...!"
They're not coming back. They won't think to do that for a few hours, yet. Curfew's in effect, but delinquents like Natsuki's crew don't care about something like that. No... it's not until they realise she might go too far with the joke that they'll worry.
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
The door starts to close, and Fuuka's eyes open wider.
"Wait! Don't!" Fuuka calls out. She hurries forward, trying to catch the door - but they slide shut before she can reach it. Natsuki's silhouette is the last thing she sees before the light is shut out, leaving her alone in the darkness.
Her hands fumble in the dark, reaching for the handle. She grasps it, and it rattles ineffectually. It's thoroughly locked.
"Th-this isn't funny... Please come back!" Fuuka calls out. And on the other side... she can hear their muffled laughter. She crumples to her knees, hand sliding away from the handle and falling limp to her side.
...Oh. So that's what they really think.
...She knew that. She'd always known that, of course. She just hoped that if she played along for long enough, tried hard enough, they might eventually accept her.
She thought it would be fine as long as they were happy. But... this is all she'll ever be.
Fuuka calls out into the darkness - but at this point, who would really come for her? She has nothing left, now - and with that, she slips into silence, left with only her thoughts.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
Tick... tick... tick.
Time, in an hourglass, slips by through grains of sand; they tumble, ceaseless, unyielding and without mercy. The hours stretch on, as crushing as Natsuki's true feelings.
And then, the world... shifts.
Is it because of how they all view her that it becomes strange beneath her feet, purple and seemingly organic? Look up -- and the rows of balance beams aren't there, any more. Only tendrils which curl like claws, unfurling on her approach.
There are faces in the walls.
There are faces down the halls.
There are faces clad in masks.
Do they have the eyes to see her, beneath them?
If they see her...
Maki will eventually wonder whether she might be a danger to herself, if they leave her in there. Fuuka, trapped here in this closet which isn't, must surely know the truth: the danger isn't coming from inside her.
The danger is here.
And here, and here...
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
In the darkness, it's hard to get a feel for the passage of time. She doesn't know how long she spends, locked in the gym storage closet. Her thoughts spiral downward - and so do the sands of time.
Her vision starts to swim, and the world shifts. She doesn't notice it happening, at first - and then, the darkness deepens and gives way. Fuuka's eyes widen and, trembling, she rises to her feet, looking around.
There is no longer a closet. There is no longer a gym. There is nothing here, now. Where there was gym equipment there is only tendril-like claws, unfurling as if to beckon her... and lining the walls masks that stare on eternally. Faces, staring on.
...Is this a dream? Or... is she...?
...She knows, logically, there wasn't so little air in the closet that she would've suffocated, but...
...A place like this can only be Hell. Surely, she deserves it. That thought enters her mind, but... She takes a deep, shuddering breath. She can feel it weighing in her mind.
Things stirring, squirming in the dark. Searching, hunting. Is it her mind playing tricks on her...?
She can feel it - a subtle sense of pervading dread... and the air of death. One thought becomes clear to her. If she stays here, she surely will...
She's going to -
...No. Fuuka breathes in sharply, eyes going wide.
"I..." Fuuka starts, her voice hoarse and trembling. "...I don't want to die."
She voices the thought aloud, as if trying to convince herself - or the faces on the wall. And she starts forward - slowly, at first.
The only thing she can do right now is put one foot in front of the other - to go where that feeling is lessened. She'll have to do it under her own power, now. There's no one to push her forward this time.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
I don't want to die.
The shades of purple here are almost electric, but the vibes are nothing like the insides of any computer you've pulled to pieces. The walls are textured like bark -- or like cells, examined close beneath a microscope -- and there are eyes, up there, staring down. This is the Garden of the Visages, creeping and organic.
And I don't want to die.
There's something moving, in the gloom. It glorps forward, sliding, lunging, a mask sinking into what must be its body. It is black as shadow, but the mask -- the mask is bright.
It will kill you,
and I don't want to die.
There are windows, obscured and thick. What pours out from them is green -- green sky, sick moon. You're up high, now.
I don't want to die.
There -- that corridor is guarded by one of those horrible, oozing creatures which glows with angry, red power. Danger! I don't want to die -- so I must hide. Another way, then, around a curving hall. This place is a labyrinth, but there must be another way through.
There are stairs.
They lead further up.
You must take them; linger too long, and you won't get what you want.
Because I don't want to die.
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
The steps that start slow and shaky gradually pick up in speed and confidence. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time.
She passes by electric purple walls, unlike anything she's seen before with an unsettlingly organic texture. She passes by the masks, ever staring.
In the darkness, she sees something move, like something indistinct shifting in the dark. A living shadow, bearing a mask. Something in the back of her mind registers fear, danger - a warning. She slips down a different pathway, and keeps moving.
High windows catch her eye - a sickly green light... shining doesn't seem the correct word, out from them. Her mind races with possibility - but she doesn't let it slow her down.
Further, another creature. She can see the aura of power around it. Feel the way the mere sight of it steals her breath away. More than ever, she mustn't let it see her. She lets her instincts guide her - away, out of sight, down another path. Somehow, she can see it clearly.
Stairs come into view before her - and she doesn't hesitate to take them upward.
The thought that started as a plea stands firm, now. She doesn't want to die. More than that, she wants to live.
<Pose Tracker> Crossroads Bar has posed.
I want to live.
One careful step at a time, you make your way through this place which cannot make sense. It enervates you as you go, and there's the strangest feeling that the weariness you're feeling ought to be several dozen times worse.
If the strength of your conviction were less sturdy, could you even stand, in a place like this? Or would you sink into a huddled pile, insensate and alone?
But I want to live.
Few beings can survive here. Those which do are being terrifying, lurching along the ground. There, there, and there. You can see them, somehow, in the darkness, though their bodies are as black. You know where the danger lies.
I want to live.
Once -- just once -- there's a flash of movement which doesn't feel as dangerous as the horrors lurking around you. Could it be a person? Call out! Call out for aid!
... but...
The creature which draws close, now, isn't human. It's a ratty grey cat, and it hisses when you draw close, running deeper into Tartarus.
It dropped something when it hissed, though...
... several sparkling shards.
Twilight Shards. Find a clock, and they will keep you going a little longer, when the weariness makes you bow your head.
And even though that signature wasn't a person -- it's proof that things other than monsters can exist here.
Maybe... maybe the next one will be human.
After all, I want to live.
<Pose Tracker> Fuuka Yamagishi has posed.
Fuuka feels tired... and yet, she pushes onward. Through the weariness that tugs at her body, as if trying to lure her into a sleep from which she'll never wake. That thought shines in her mind like a torch, keeping her alert... and gives her the presence of mind to steer away from that which lurks in the darkness. She can see them, feel the danger they pose.
And yet... somehow, she isn't alone here. There's something else here. It isn't a monster. She feels fear, but not danger. And the source is...
"...A cat?" Fuuka murmurs to herself. She perks up a little, the animal-lover in her glad to see one even in a place like this. She kneels down, slowly extending a hand...
...And the cat runs off. She looks a little disappointed, but she doesn't hold it against him.
"...You're just trying to survive here too, aren't you?" She murmurs to herself. She hopes he finds what he's looking for. She starts to straighten up - but she catches a glint of something out of the corner of her eye.
She moves to pick up one of the sparkling shards, holding it up to her eye. Somehow, she knows that they aren't dangerous. In fact... they feel like a lifeline. She gathers the rest, standing up to her full height. She takes a deep breath, in and out.
She wasn't alone. If it happened once, it can happen again. If the little cat can survive here, so can she... and maybe others, too.