2026-01-29: Only a Handful of Verses in History's Song
- Log: Only a Handful of Verses in History's Song
- Cast: Tamaki Uchida, Rin Sasaki
- Where: Kuzunoha Detective Agency
- OOC Date: January 29, 2026
- IC Date: September 17, 2012
- Summary: Rin returns to the Kuzunoha Detective Agency to provide Tamaki and the Chief with the now-active Thread to Kenzo Sasaki's Atelier, having run it through the 'eye' of its associated 'needle.' The conversation then turns to the prospect of Rin accompanying an expedition to her husband's Atelier, and Tamaki answers with perhaps a brutally stark depiction of the risks and potential outcomes.
(|======================== Kuzunoha Detective Agency =========================|)
-=================================================== Sumaru City/Aoba Ward ====-
The first thing that greets visitors to Kuzunoha Detective Agency is a giant
golden lucky cat statue that, with its left paw raised, bids a hearty welcome to
customers and opportunities alike. Inspect it, and a mewling voice will ask for
donations: 100 yen from students and other children, and 1000 yen from adults.
A pair of dark couches that frame a coffee table have an excellent view of the
massive HDTV and dual stereos on the far right wall. On the far left wall are
shelves upon shelves full of books, none of which definitely can slide to one
side. A large desk with a lamp and computer stands in front of it. This is where
the portly older ex-gumshoe, Chief Daisuke Todoroki, makes his business, as...
blessed... by the agency's original owner. He investigates (and will spread) all
manner of rumors to find out the truth (and change reality), assisted by veteran
Persona User Tamaki Uchida.
The back room is nothing special; it has a stove and a sink, so it's a simple
task to always have tea ready for customers. There's a bathroom there too, but
it seems like it's always occupied. Don't ask who's in there, meow.
<Pose Tracker> Tamaki Uchida has posed.
Tamaki's back to her part-time capacity as an apprentice detective, and has only recently arrived back in the office after returning from her university's campus now that classes have begun again. She hasn't quite settled down yet today, and is currently flipping through television channels to check various news programs. Ostensibly.
Chief Todoroki's the relatively more permanent fixture around here, and he's in the back, seated at his much larger desk. It's not uncommon for him to be on the phone and getting in touch with his contact network, and today proves no exception.
The lucky cat statue ... why, there's nothing strange about it. It's entirely inanimate, save for the mechanisms that detect when someone walks by so it can play its pre-canned audio messages to ask for donations.
Click. Click. Click. Tamaki taps her foot impatiently as she goes through channel after channel, seemingly searching for some program. She's not going to find it, but that's the state that any visitor will find her in.
<Pose Tracker> Rin Sasaki has posed.
It's late afternoon when the front door to the agency opens gently, then closes again. The cat statue gives its tinny recording as the new arrival passes by it, and is summarily ignored.
Rin Sasaki arrives to the Kuzunoha Detective Agency for the third time and heads directly for Tamaki's desk, black heels clicking lightly on the floor. A long, flowing black skirt, a silky burgundy top; glittering earrings, gently teased wavy black hair, manicured nails, three silver rings on her left hand, a wedding ring on her right, understated, natural-appearing makeup. A bit of exhaustion in her hazel eyes, but perhaps that's understandable, given her present circumstances.
But there is utterly no sign that she actively falling apart as early as this time yesterday.
"Uchida-san," Rin greets quietly as she takes a seat on the client side of Tamaki's desk, but otherwise skipping past small talk for the moment. She sets down the handcrafted black leather laptop bag she was carrying over one shoulder and pulls out a by-now familiar print -- an ultrasound image, likely taken around nine weeks, dated June 7th, 2005 -- and places it gently down on the desk. Her expression is muted. "It is active now." There's less hesitation in her voice than there has been before, speaking on matters connected to the supernatural.
<Pose Tracker> Tamaki Uchida has posed.
Tamaki's lip curls up into a sneer directed at the TV as she fails to find what she's looking for. The sight of Gozaburou Gessou, a local talk show host, causes her to linger on the channel and sneer even harder.
Rin is a much welcome distraction, and Tamaki's demeanor does a 180 as she shuts the TV off and hurls the remote behind her where it lands not-quite-on but at least beside one of the couches. "Sasaki-san! Good to see you!" The circumstances may not be the best, the occasion isn't a happy one by any measure, but she's committed to providing the best customer service that she can.
After Rin puts the image down on the desk, Tamaki follows, instead opting to lean on the desk with a hand as she inspects it. "Getting right to it, huh?" She stares at it as if she's trying to sense something -- for all she knows right now, she may or may not be able to discern any difference. "'Active' as in ... you took this photograph to the spot that's significant for your husband? His Atelier's accessible now, you think?"
<Pose Tracker> Rin Sasaki has posed.
Rin is 'getting right to it' because she may lose her ability to project confidence if she doesn't. Not that she's earned much of it -- she is still very much an outsider looking in when it comes to these matters, understands only little, is entirely at the mercy of the help of strangers, and this matter in particular remains intensely personal.
But yesterday was humiliating, and even moreso after the fact, when she sobered up fully.
"Yes," she answers quietly to the question of the location. "I know that we discussed, before, the danger in the possibility of the Homunculus --" and here the personal is already bleeding through, because she can't quite keep the hatred out of her voice when she says the word, speaking it almost like a curse, "-- showing its face at the location, but I..." and here it bleeds through again, her expression downcast despite her best efforts to maintain a neutral facade. "I didn't want anyone else there."
She didn't want anyone else to see. She wanted, perhaps needed, to feel like there was something. however small, she could accomplish herself, faced as she was and is with a world of monsters and magical phantasams and creatures that can possess the unwitting and unwary.
"I thought I -- felt something," she continues, hesitating a moment, because it was a faint thing. Certainly far fainter than the crawling, sickening sensation she experienced when first encountering what she would later learn was the Homunculus. "But at the least, Yeo-san seemed certain that it was activated and useable for entry."
<Pose Tracker> Tamaki Uchida has posed.
It's a mindset that Tamaki recognizes, at least, having had to plow through difficult circumstances herself. She's good at getting down to brass tacks and interfacing with clients in the business sense. When it comes to certain topics, while she isn't known for being brusque, she doesn't feel confident enough to land that plane when it comes to a matter as sensitive as Rin's.
The last time that Rin had met with Tamaki, Tamaki's opinion of the supernatural was a bit more pessimistic and that this isn't something she would inflict on anyone. Now, however, she thnks that maybe there's something to how people like Eriko approach it -- this other framework lets them detach and view a problem from a different angle, one not so pointed.
"I get it, yeah." Tamaki tries to let her sympathy and sincerity come through in her tone. "I really, truly do." She gives a slow nod as she stands upright again. It was dangerous, but she's not going to chastise her for it. "Just glad you're alright. Relatively, y'know."
The mention of Myunghon's certainty elicits a raised eyebrow from Tamaki. "Huh. Well, I'm not one to second-guess their opinion, so if they're sure of it, then I am."
She (finally) maneuvers around to her own side of the desk and takes a seat to turn towards her computer. "Alright, so next steps after that ... I'd like to ask your permission for something. Can I inform other members of the Persona-user community about this so we can start our expeditions into his Atelier and excise what took him over?" She glances down at the ultrasound photograph. "We ... would also need to physically take that with us, if you're okay with that. Nakao-chan -- that teenager -- might be the best point of contact there."
Tamaki exhales. "Sorry about what I said last time, too. I'm flying blind here, too, and since then, I've had a talk with some people more in the know about Homunculi. Hell, I've even seen another one."
<Pose Tracker> Rin Sasaki has posed.
"Yes, of course," Rin responds to the question of informing the broader community. She has been told that there are deeply antagonistic forces among those that know the supernatural -- including those that are perfectly willing to commit atrocities on the unawakened -- along with those that would provide aid to a stranger, but she automatically assumes that Tamaki's chosen network is trustworthy.
Of course, this also requires the further underlying assupmtion that Tamaki herself is trustworthy, but Rin does not even slightly have the luxury of second-guessing the individuals that have offered to put their own safety on the line to save her husband -- and in some respects, herself by extension, because there is really only so long she can avoid returning home. So far as the world is concerned, the creature is Kenzo Sasaki, her husband. Its ability to ruin her life if it grows impatient with her absence is...something she's trying not to think too hard about until it becomes relevant.
"I thought you might keep possession of it..." is Rin's second response, a little pensively. While she appreciates Hauzki's passionate commitment to aiding her and her husband both, it's clear that she would personally feel more comfortable with the print being stewarded by someone that isn't a minor. "But whatever you think is best, Uchida-san," she follows up with right after, exhaling slowly. How these things typically progress is of course not something that is known to her, and she will defer to the opinion of the obvious expert in the room.
"There's another one?" Rin asks, her curiosity, as ever, getting the better of her, even as the idea leave a bitter, acrid taste in the back of her mouth. Another creature wearing another stolen face...
"And..." a moment's pause. Because 'last time' ended with not exactly her proudest moment; the anger that abruptly spilled out of her in response to something that, in retrospect, she may not entirely have understood. "What did you mean to say, last time?" she asks slowly. "And would it be -- different now?"
<Pose Tracker> Tamaki Uchida has posed.
Luckily for Rin, Tamaki's got a good heart. If she has anything to say about it, the supernatural wouldn't be a thing -- it's plagued her and people she cares about for far too long, by her estimation. She lost someone to it for good, and if at all possible, she's sincerely in it to prevent an ill fate from befalling Kenzo.
The problem might be in Tamaki's own blind spots about the true experts on Ateliers and their trustworthiness.
"Sure, sure, I'll hold onto it when it's not in use." Tamaki gives a placating wave of her hands. "I just mean that Nakao-chan may be the best person to rely on for the actual process inside the Atelier proper. There's also a boutique in Shimokitazawa that has more knowledge of the process than I do, a place called Peacock Silk."
She nods at the question of there being another. "Yes, a high school student at Shujin Academy. Normally an acerbic personality, she's suddenly turned into the model daughter and student overnight." The thought causes her to shudder. "I think that's the first time I've gotten a clear picture of the 'before' and 'after.'"
Tamaki meets Rin's gaze, then gives her a slow nod. "There are a wide variety of supernatural phenomena out there. Most of them, in my experience, are reflections of people as they are, whether they're beings formed from the collective thoughts of humanity in aggregate to the repressed thoughts of individual people, the parts of themselves which they reject out of hand to the detriment of their own psychological well-being."
She exhales heavily at a certain memory. "For instance, I once had to face an unpleasant aspect of myself. Point-blank. I was ... incendiarily envious of the attention that someone who I was in love with gave to others instead of me." After a beat of silence, she adds, "I was also fifteen. My own experience was also highly unique -- isolatingly so."
Tamaki gives another nod. "And yes, it would be different now. Homunculi are truly the exception to the pattern -- they do not come from within, they are invasive." So she's been told. "I hope that is some reassurance. To my knowledge, they are a recent phenomenon."
<Pose Tracker> Rin Sasaki has posed.
Rin does seem placated by this. "I see," she responds quietly. It does bring to mind something that Tamaki herself referenced before (even if the exact words used are a little hazy by now) -- something about, even among the Awakened, individuals being most focused on the aspects that affected them the most. And Hazuki's friend was the one previously afflicted by, and saved from, possession; moreover, Hazuki did mention her own Awakening coming about while trying to save that friend.
And now that that conversation has been refreshed in her mind, coupled with an offer presented to her yesterday -- a frightful offer, but one she finds she can't dismiss entirely -- Rin can't help but to wonder...
"So I've been told," she says after, regarding Peacock Silk.
Rin has no way of knowing that she actually once met the high school student in question, if briefly, but not even so terribly long ago in the scheme of things. She would likely be a little shaken by the sheer odds of such a coincidence if she did.
When Tamaki begins to detail her meaning in earnest, Rin retrieves the same notebook as before from her bag, again jotting careful notes in fastidious handwriting. Perhaps the supernatural will never actually carry any meaning for her after her husband is returned to her -- she remains, after all, entirely unawakened -- and even now, it's apparent to her that the little bits and pieces she has learned of are only fragments of some much greater whole.
Even still, she has been given undeniable proof of the supernatural in the form of a Persona summoned in her presence long enough that she can carry that shard of certainty with her, that is more than the feeling that she received around the thing that is not her husband (even if it was a very strong feeling; certainly strong enough for her to flee her home and go searching desperately for answers). If the mechanics of the world stretch beyond and beneath the strictly physical, she would be...remiss, not to carry away what little bits of knowledge those with understanding are willing to share with her.
And so she listens, and she writes. "Who hasn't been, at least once..." Rin does murmur when Tamaki details being envious of the attention given away by the object of her own affections. "Especially at such a young age." She leans back a little in her chair, frowning thoughtfully. "It seems like something you should have been allowed to learn to face naturally, with time, rather than -- however it expressed itself supernaturally." Because of course Tamaki didn't detail exactly how it did, leaving it somewhat to Rin's imagination.
But then back to the Homuculus. About how it diverges from the normal patterns, putting context to Tamaki's previous words. There's an intensity in Rin's eyes as she looks at Tamaki directly. "So the Homunculus will be destroyed entirely, then?" she asks, unconsciously leaning forward slightly, her voice quietly bleeding her hatred again, and just a little bit of eagerness. (But then, it has stolen away her husband and made her an exile from her own home. As well as whatever may have happened before Rin first fled that night...)
<Pose Tracker> Tamaki Uchida has posed.
"Yeah, I'm a good starting point, but what I do most often is triage, I delegate." Tamaki shakes her head and gives Rin a shrug. "I'm trying to capture everything I come across so that I can help bring people up to speed more quickly -- such as yourself."
Tamaki raises an eyebrow at Rin's reaction to the mention of Peacock Silk. "Oh, you knew about them already?" Her own expression isn't exactly happy, but it isn't disdainful either. She's uncertain, apprehensive. "... one of them just laughed when I mentioned I found out about Homunculi in the Dark Hour the hard way and nearly died. But they do good customization work, and they did tell me that killing the Homunculus in the Dark Hour would just kill the host, too -- killing it in the Atelier is the proper way to go about it."
Rin's jotted-down notes cause Tamaki to briefly peer over, then lean back to pull a binder off of her bookshelf. "Here -- it's by no means comprehensive, but it's written down somewhere already, so you can borrow it if you'd like." She adds with a grin, "Buuut the act of transcription does help people retain memory better, especially with writing implements instead of typing, so I get it if you still want to take notes as I go."
"I know a few people who haven't," she offers. "I think." She exhales a mournful sigh. "I would have very much preferred that, frankly. On one hand, central Tokyo might have had a new crater in place of a building if I hadn't been able to admit that about myself. On the other hand, I wouldn't have fallen in love in the first place if we hadn't been placed in that supernatural situation together."
Tamaki casts her gaze downwards. "... if it weren't for that, I would have gotten in the way of something more important that she had to do."
Back to Rin's plight though -- "As far as I'm aware, yes. It does leave some valuable materials behind, but in the one instance I've seen, it is excised from the host."
<Pose Tracker> Rin Sasaki has posed.
Rin waves a slightly-dismissive hand when Tamaki asks that she knew about them already. "I haven't been yet, but Nakao-san recommended them as a source of further information about Ateliers and Homunculus in particular. Also mentioned they had been very helpful with the previous Homunculus." Of course, Rin most certainly did notice how Hazuki's opinion on them evolved rather sharply over time. And Tamaki's tone and expression are impossible for her to miss
Rin purses her lips lightly as the detective continues. The laughter in the context outlined certainly reads as very strange, very callous, but the information Tamaki says they provided also seems very important. "That seems like a -- a very good thing to be known," she says quietly, stumbling just slightly over her words as Tamaki presents it as new information. It's certainly not hard to imagine why she might have strong feelings on it.
"Is there something else that bother you about them, or just the laughter?" she asks after, watching Tamaki's reactions closely. "Not that it isn't a -- bizarre reaction, at best, to what you described, but..." If there's more to it, she would of course like to know.
"Oh!" Despite the heaviness of the conversation, Rin well and truly brightens in a way that Tamaki has not actually witnessed before, when she offers for Rin to borrow the binder of notes. "Yes, Uchida-san; that would be wonderful -- thank you." If it's handed to her, she glances through it very briefly, gently, perhaps curious as to how much is contained therein. At the least, it's very likely she will makes copies of the entire thing before returning it.
Rin does not know if she understands nearly enough to speak further when Tamaki details further about being forced to confront her own envy (or else??), but she listens. "That..." she finally begins when the story is finished. Even for what she's learned already, the stakes (craters and destroyed buildings in Central Tokyo) sound outlandish to her ears, and it takes a moment to intentionally quiet her reflexive incredulity -- because is that really where she is going to arbitrarily draw the line at this point? "That's not something you should have been responsible for at such a young age," she says with some measure of conviction in her voice.
Of course, perhaps there is still something hollow about such a sentiment, because it seems that not only was she, but that there are other minors -- Hazuki included -- fighting battles in the supernatural to this very day. She can't help but be bothered by the thought of it...
"Uchida-san," she says abruptly. It's only been a day, but she can't entirely get it off her mind, not as much as it terrifies and somehow intrigues her. "I met another woman -- Watanabe-san -- who was able to recognize that there was something wrong with my huband, and also said she possessed a Persona." Maybe it's not correct to drop names this way, but she wonders if Tamaki knows anything about her reputation. "She wanted to help, and said she had...friends, or allies that also could. And she...she asked if I wished to come along, because of how...personal the matter is. Despite the danger."
She's trembling slightly now as she speaks on it. It obviously weighs heavy on her mind, now that it's been presented to her. "What...do you think? Of such an idea?"
<Pose Tracker> Tamaki Uchida has posed.
Tamaki rubs the back of her neck and closes her eyes. She still sounds uncertain. "Yeah, they're, uh. They're something, alright." Another thought of hers seems to mollify her, and she partially opens her eyes again. "There's something positive to be said for the overall outlook of their group. Here in Sumaru City, if there's a common motif to everyone's thoughts, then they can coalesce to a point where they can overwrite reality, but their insistence on individuality and self-expression may serve as a counterbalance against it."
"... It certainly is." Tamaki grimly nods at Rin's assessment of those consequences. "Not that I had any inclination to do so in the first place." It was only very recently that Tamaki seems to have finally accepted that there was a need for her to return to taking a direct hand in at least some supernatural matters -- prior to that, she would have vastly preferred to minimize the extent she so directly deals with it.
Tamaki pauses for a moment to consider Rin's question about if there's anything else about Peacock Silk ... and shrugs noncommittally. "Her laughter did strike a raw nerve, but she also pointed out that I still lived, and I can't dispute that. I don't know enough about them. They do stand to materially gain from the defeat of Homunculi, but -- " she looks around the Agency's interior. " -- so do we, so I don't think I should exactly cast stones there." It might just be at a meager 7000-yen-an-hour rate in the agency's case, but she doesn't know the true monetary value of the substance that Peacock Silk seems to be after, so she can't exactly quantify any difference between the two establishments' incomes.
The binder has the limited extent of what Tamaki knows about various phenomena in broad strokes, serving as a glossary. The amount of information skews heavily towards the likes of Demons and the mythological tales they originate from, which she's far and away had the most experience with. Shadows have their own taxonomy vaguely outlined, but to a lesser extent -- she at least knows there is a distinction between the mindless Shadows of the Dark Hour, the ones in Mementos and Palaces which seem more closely tied to individual people and how they try to disguise themselves as Demons when confronted, and some minutiae on several methods on how she's witnessed different people Awaken and the methods with which they summon their Personas.
Sections on Ateliers, Homunculi, and Humors are incredibly sparse in comparison, afforded several sentences each at most. While she has practical experience in some steps -- the beginning and end, obtaining the thread, navigating an Atelier, and defeating the Homunculus for good -- the rest is left to theory and information obtained secondhand, such as Rin's solo journey to the graveyard. This section also omits any mention of any related Awakening -- that's currently a black box to her.
(Roger gets a special mention as a Humor who, bizarrely, seems to have turned into a person, coupled with a footnote that only reads "wtf???" Tamaki has no idea what to make of him yet.)
If it's of any consolation to Rin, there are yet more sections with even less ink committed to them than the topic which most closely affects her and her husband's life.
While she has some unique perspective given how far-removed she is from everyone else's affairs in the present day, this gives her knowledge more breadth than it does depth. While she does not specify how she had personally Awakened, she does have some notes which compare her own circumstances to those who have played the Persona Game or, perhaps more chillingly, those who summon their Personas with Evokers, save for the fact that she doesn't need one to mediate her own confrontation with death.
In some sense, this binder serves as a reflection of Tamaki's desire to find someone else who went through what she had -- this an impossibility, whether she knows it or not. In lieu of any answers she can gain for her own satisfaction, she hopes that it can provide some solace and orientation to newcomers to this side of the world so that she can spare them the bewilderment and confusion that comes with being thrown into the deep end of these murky waters. 'May this at least serve a signpost in the wilderness.'
A final page has some closing remarks which comment on how their collective present-day situations may only be a drop in the ocean, a speck in the universe, despite how important and dire they seem in the immediate moment. Theirs are only a handful of verses in history's song, each one sharing common motifs despite any differences in their phrasing.
Rin's insistence that Tamaki shouldn't have gone through something at such a young age garners a dead-eyed stare from the latter. Bluntly, she replies with an exhausted, "Yeah." She shakes her head to chase off that sense of ennui, approaching if not quite reaching her normal demeanor. "But I also got off easy, I'm still ali -- er. Not missing." She sinks back into moroseness. "I can't say the same for some others."
She has some more thoughts on the ages of Persona-users to add. "I can count the number of adult Persona-users on my fingers, and the number who gained the use of their Persona as an adult on even fewer. Most Awaken as teenagers. In one instance I'm aware of, someone gained their Persona at the age of eleven." Tamaki gestures widely with her arms, spreading them to the side as she explains, "If I seem hesitant to encourage the circumstances that would lead to someone's Awakening, this is why -- it is a threshold that, once crossed, it is impossible to turn back. It is a heavy burden, and all too often, it is placed on the shoulders of children."
The mention of Ayame causes Tamaki's mood to brighten, and she chirps, "Oh, Watanabe-san! Yeah, we work with each other on this kind of thing!" She winks at Rin. "If I were to go into your husband's Atelier, there's a good chance that I'd be on her crew." She grows serious when it comes to Rin's question about tagging along, however. Initially, she scowls, but the expression fades into contemplation. She's silent for a few moments as she curls a finger on her chin while she ponders. "I'm not exactly jazzed about it. You'd lack the physical and mental protection that a Persona grants you. It adds an additional layer of risk where we would have to contend with ensuring your safety, and there's no guarantee that you would survive."
Tamaki gives Rin a level stare. "I've seen it cut both ways. Within the previous month, I have failed to protect an un-Awakened client, and they lost their life in the process. Conversely, more recently, I have seen another Awaken in the midst of a life-or-death conflict. It is a gamble, and neither outcome is certain. Pressure can create diamonds, sure, but it can just as easily create rubble instead."
After a beat, in a faux-cheerful tone, she concludes, "It's certainly an idea where I would require you to sign a liability waiver." More seriously, she adds, "I'm not enthused at the prospect, but I won't dissuade you entirely. I can outline the stakes, I can promise to do my best when it comes to keeping you safe while acknowledging that my best may not be good enough, but the decision ultimately lies with you."
<Pose Tracker> Rin Sasaki has posed.
Rin visibly tenses a little when Tamaki references reality being overwritten -- even if it's given as an aside to another subject, somehow this way of phrasing it is far more unnerving to her than simply acknowledging that rumors can become reality if spread far enough. Perhaps it is because the examples that were given to her before were all...relatively inconsequential; cheerfully delivered by Tamaki as a service the agency itself provided. Still more than enough to make her head swim, but something about the way the detective phrases it this time...
If enough people in Sumaru truly believed one thing, just how severely could they alter reality? And what were the chances that it would actually be an improvement? (She feels it unlikely, given the general caliber of their countrymen). Has the effect ever gone beyond the boundaries of the city? Does the supernatural exist entirely because enough people across enough different cultures and times believed that something more than natural existed, in some bizarre, self-referential closed loop?
Rin does not speak any one of these sudden onslaught of worries aloud, which allows Tamaki to continue giving her opinion of Peacock Silk -- in turn providing something of a reminder to try and focus on what is immediately in front of her, instead of spiralling out in her own thoughts. Perhaps some of her myriad unspoken questions will be answered by Tamaki's notes when she has an opportunity to read them more closely later. Perhaps some of them no one can answer.
"Mm. I will certainly keep what you have said in mind," is how she finally responds, instead. "Although..." she begins after a short pause, in regards to the KDA 'materially benefitting.' She does not know how Peacock Silk benefits, but the rates the KDA charged her were shockingly low, all things considered. "You could very easily be charging several times more -- and your services would still be underpriced; given what you are able to provide..."
The invoice Tamaki handed her after the retrieval of Kenzo's Thread, especially given the danger that was ultimately involved, felt only a fractional-step removed from charity work.
Rin's glance through the binder is more than enough to know that she desperately wants more time with the material contained inside. Even at a glance, it's easy to see already that it will involve more information that will continue the work of upending of her understanding of the world -- an understanding that, not terribly long ago, included only the physical and the mundane.
Tamaki will receive the binder back within a few days, after Rin has had the opportunity to copy the contents; it will be in exactly the same condition it was when she lent it out.
Tamaki's dead-eyed stare and morose, exhausted reply to Rin's (ironically naive) declaration hangs heavy in the air, and Rin looks away, chastised and finding herself unable to maintain eye contact as the former adds more thoughts on the young ages of the Awakened. (...although, if there are few adults with a Persona, does that mean the phenomenon is new...or does it perhaps mean that few of the youths of the past survived long enough to have become adults...?)
But in the end, perhaps it shouldn't be children in the same way that there shouldn't be psychic parasites that supplant the personalities of the infected or there shouldn't be an entire hour that exists in the space between seconds every night. Preconceptions brought from a world where monsters and magical phantasms do not exist are likely not helpful in the world in which they do.
That Tamaki and Ayame not only know each other, but have and do work together is a pleasant thing to hear, and also reinforces her previous perception regarding the size of the community. That Tamaki's first reaction to hearing of Ayame's offer is to scowl is not entirely unsurprising. Even Ayame herself said she didn't believe it was a good idea even as she presented it.
Even if Rin can't quite stop her hands from trembling in her lap as the subject is discussed, she does meet Tamaki's level stare as the latter elaborates upon the risk and her stance on it. "That is...very similar to what Watanabe-san said herself," she says quietly, regarding the additional risk taken on by attempting to ensure Rin's survival -- and the frank inability to honestly promise that she would survive. "And I understand that the idea is entirely irrational..."
Because of course it is. It is irrational. Safety at risk, death flatly outlined as a distinct possibility (and even if not death -- injury? maiming? how long does it take to reach the nearest hospital from inside a supernatural mindscape?), additional risk placed on people that are already taking a risk to help her and her husband, and even Ayame only thought that perhaps Rin's presence could maybe be of value, as someone that 'knows' the real man currently supplanted by the parasite.
So then why can't she stop thinking about it?
It's an idea that should have been dismissed immediately.
Rin continues after several shaky breaths. "It's only -- something I'm considering, since the idea was raised to me." Because she expressed her frustration at being unable to do anything further. Maybe that's why she can't shake the thought of it as easily as it deserves. Or is there something else...? Some shade of the night she was first gifted the opportunity to witness the supernatural with her own eyes, feel the spark and the energy of a 'Persona' summoned in front of her.
"But thank you, Uchida-san," she concludes shakily as she comes to her feet, collecting her bag and the binder of notes that was lent to her. Her expression is muted; deeply sober. "You've given me a -- great deal more to think about." Not just about the reckless half-impulse to witness the Atelier for herself, of course, but the entire conversation, also.