2026-07-31: What Is, and What Can Be
- Log: What is, and What Can Be
- Cast: Hyousuke Suzuki, Shinobu Shimizu
- Where: Hirasaka Ward
- OOC Date: 2026-07-31
- IC Date: Mon Dec 17
- Summary: Unsure of what the future holds, or if he can truly break from his past, Hyousuke asks for advice from someone he believes might have the experience needed to help him.
(|============================= Hirasaka - Main ==============================|)
-=============================================== Sumaru City/Hirasaka Ward ====-
The westernmost ward of the city, and also the one furthest inland, Hirasaka is
considered one of the least desirable places to live in Sumaru. This is in part
due to the bad reputation of local Kasugayama High School, nicknamed "Kasu High"
by its students and "Cuss High" by its detractors. A school of overwhelmingly
boys but some errant girls, it's said to be for delinquents, poors, and other
"problem" children. Just down the street is Sumaru Prison, which is not a prison
but an underground club with a live stage, and either way the parents of Sevens
students hate it.
It's not all bad in Hirasaka, though. The shopping is second to none, with a
huge five-story mall called Smile Hirasaka that offers a wide variety of
businesses and conference meeting rooms; just be sure to go on a day when the
stores aren't closed. For those who want a more homey atmosphere for their
purchases, there's Kameya Alley. Plenty of office buildings populate the area,
too.
(|============================================================================|)
<Pose Tracker> Hyousuke Suzuki has posed.
Even as he relaxed on the bench, Hyousuke looked nerve-stricken. He did his best to hide it, of course. He kept a still expression, his body didn't move much, and his gaze meandered as if surveying the landscape. But as he sat in some quiet corner of the bench on that cool December day, it was the subtle signs that told of his true feelings. His expression was still, but perhaps a little too still, having been forced to remain that way. His body was much the same - save for the drumming of fingers or the wringing of hands, he forced himself to try and look natural. Even his eyes betrayed him, unable to focus on any one spot for too long before flitting away.
He could not leave, however. He'd already texted Shinobu, after all. He'd tried to make it sound as casual as possible, but when it came down to it, he had asked her for advice. It wasn't a simple hunt, or for some pointers with his woodworking, but actual, adult-to-child, advice. He'd even left his pup in the care of others so as to avoid any distractions, though he knew he would catch flak for it when the dog smelled the scent of the park on him. All that was left to do was wait, and try not to appear as anxious as he felt.
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Hyousuke's message had been casual... but Shinobu usually has a pretty good read on things. If it was something he wanted to ask her in person, it's probably something important. She agreed to meet with him, of course. She could hardly turn a request like that down.
...It still baffles her sometimes that there are people, teenagers, who look to her for advice now. She never really thought of herself that way... but if she can help, she wants to.
And so, she arrives at the park. Winter has begun, so she's dressed warmly in winter wear, now, with a larger coat than her usual. She scans the horizon, looking for who she came to meet - and when she spots Hyousuke she approaches, raising a hand in a casual wave.
"Hey, Suzuki. Been waiting long?" Shinobu greets. She takes a moment to assess his expression, then nods to the bench. "Mind if I sit?"
If he doesn't mind, she'll take a seat on the other side of the bench.
<Pose Tracker> Hyousuke Suzuki has posed.
Hyousuke was quick to wave at Shinobu when he spotted her, and quicker still to shuffle over a little to make sure there was room on the bench for her. Dressed in lighter clothes than her he stuck out a little amongst those that dressed for the season, though he still seemed to be warm enough. Indeed, his discomfort seemed to stem from something else entirely, even as he attempted to maintain a casual air when he gestured to the open space.
"It's cool, I only got here a few minutes ago."
With the niceties taken care of, he looked off into the distance. His eyes were pointed in the direction of various pieces of flora and fauna, and may have instinctively followed a person or two passing by, but he focussed on nothing in particular. Like his mind and his body were separate, and his consciousness was a million miles away.
"Weather's nice." He said idly, with no real emphasis on any word, and a light tone that held no notable expression. "Hoping it'll stay like that. I got a trip coming up, and I..."
Hyousuke trailed off, and his smile turned a little rueful. More like a grimace, or the gritting of teeth, while he braced for a blow that was yet to come.
"...Ah, hell with it. Shimizu-san, I need some advice. About school. And work. And, uh, things like that." He paused a moment, shook his head, and looked to her with an expression that was halfway between sheepish and apologetic. "Fuck, sorry, I'm not making any sense. Been having some trouble focussing on what to say about it."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
"Cool." Shinobu replies with a nod, as he assures her that he only get here a few minutes ago. She doesn't know if he's just saying that, but she'll take him at his word. He's trying to stay casual, but she can tell something's up... Especially with the way he looks off into the distance at nothing.
"It is. Little chilly, but I don't mind that." She agrees. It's casual small talk. Is he stalling for time? The way he trails off... "Oh yeah, a trip? Hope you have a good time."
...But she knows he didn't come here just to tell her that - and that expression a moment later confirms it as he lets it all out, explaining that he needs advice.
...Sounds like there's a lot eating him up right now. School, work, and things like that... She shakes her head as he apologizes.
"Hey, no need for apologies. Sounds like there's a lot going on." She assures, shaking her head. "Take your time, sort it all out, and ask me when you're ready."
She can wait. She knows what it's like to have a thousand things going through your mind at once.
<Pose Tracker> Hyousuke Suzuki has posed.
Hyousuke was glad for her allowing him time, as he felt like he desperately needed it. The seconds ticked by, and though it was only a handful before he spoke again, it felt as though an age had passed. Every heartbeat stretched out into eternity, every blink was an aeon... And through it all, his thoughts grew no clearer, much less organised. Unwilling to let the silence go on longer, save for the errant gust of cold wind that whipped past them, Hyousuke spoke from the heart. Raw and unrefined, perhaps, but it was at least something.
"I was talking with a friend the other day." Hyousuke began, looking down at his wringing hands instead of the middle distance. Still not at Shinobu, however, even as he spoke with her. "We were talking about what we were going to do over the break, or for Christmas, or... something. And I told her I wasn't going to take the entrance exams for uni. She was uh... she was surprised. Though I should try for it anyway." His smile never grew any more mirthful. There was still a lingering note of bitterness, bordering on outright dismay.
"Thing is, I know I'm not gonna pass it. Hell, I'm barely getting by with my regular exams. I'm sure as hell not getting into any kinda uni that respects itself." He let out a chuckle that matched the somewhat sorrowful nature of his smile, then continued. "Even if I did get in, I wouldn't even know what to do there. I'm not gonna be a doctor, or a scientist, or anything that needs... you know, thinking. But she got me thinking... should I bother trying anyway? Even if... even if I *know* I'm gonna fail hard? I always figured I'd be better off doing what you do, and just taking whatever jobs I can now and figuring it out from there, but she's telling me I got a chance, and I... I don't know."
He sighed a little, and rose his head mournfully.
"...I just don't know."
GAME: Save complete.
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Time ticks by, and Shinobu waits as he gets his thoughts together. She doesn't get impatient - she knows that whatever's going through his head right now must be important. Until, finally, he speaks. She watches him as he wrings his hands, but he speaks anyway.
Entrance exams, huh... He doesn't think he'd make it, and wouldn't know what to do even if he did... Doing what she does...
...She can sympathise. He's a lot like her, in that way. Confused and uncertain about his future... In a lot of way, she's still that way. She 'hm's to herself thoughtfully as she considers what to say.
"...When I was in your shoes, I thought the same way." Shinobu says finally. "I didn't think there was a future for me in it, so I didn't bother trying. Went straight to work out of school. Not like the kind of things I do today - a desk job, y'know. 'Proper' work, usin' the term loosely. ...Didn't last long. Sexist asshole pushed too much buttons, so I put him through a table."
She laughs.
"...They don't tend to keep you around after that, even if he deserved it. And that kind of reputation sticks with you, so it got hard to get any other sort of 'proper' work. I had to take what I can get, but this kind of thing... it's not stable work. You live paycheck to paycheck, gig to gig, and you're screwed if things just don't turn up, or they line up just poorly enough. I had to lean on my sisters more than once to keep me going before I settled into a good rhythm, and made friends who could connect me with more work. ...Dunno where I'd be now without any of them. I dunno what sort of lifelines you have right now, but it can be rough if you don't have anything to fall back on." She shakes her head, and looks at him more seriously.
"...So I think what I'm trying to say is... I think back, and sometimes I kick myself for not trying back then. Sure, maybe you think you're not going to pass... but you don't know. And if you do fail? You can see where you're at and decide if you're good where you are, or try again next year. It's not a one-and-done kinda thing." Shinobu says... and then laughs, massaging the back of her neck sheepishly. "...But I get not knowing what you'd do, or what you wanna be. Even I don't have everything figured out right now... I'm still not sure about myself, either. But I figure, that's the kind of thing you can pick up when you get there. Until then, you can just focus on the... getting there part."
She shrugs.
"Does that make sense?"
<Pose Tracker> Hyousuke Suzuki has posed.
Hyousuke listened intently. He barely looked at her, sparing no more than a glance between long bouts of staring into nothingness. He was almost entirely silent through the whole ordeal, with what little noise he did make being drowned out by the chilled air that meandered through the park. He barely even reacted at all, with his expression lingering on something pensive, or mournful, or perhaps both. But he did listen. When he was quiet afterwards, it was him turning her words over in his mind, wondering how best to respond to them, before electing to do as he had before - let his heart speak.
"I want better than what I got. I... I think I do." The words burnt like acid as they came out. Honesty - the raw, primal, kind that came only from tearing open one's chest and baring the heart - did not come natural to him, and peeling back even the first layer of his defences and walls left him shaking and quiet. But he had asked her help. He had called her out there, and despite every fibre of his being railing against telling her the truth, he resisted the urge to tell her that everything was fine and not to worry. For if he was not honest then, he reminded himself, what good would any of this be?
"But I didn't think I'd get this far. Always figured I was gonna fighting and hurting people, maybe picking up some odd jobs or some dead-end thing that I got because nobody else wanted it. But now..." Hyousuke's lips curled into something. He couldn't tell if it was a frown, a smile, a grimace, a snarl... All he knew was that he did not know how he felt, and his features struggled to show it. "I got a teacher that's spent since the start of the year whipping me into shape. I got friends that are telling me to do better, I'm not even failing at school any more. It's making me feel like I actually got a chance."
Hyousuke paused. There was more to it - there had to be. He would not be there if he felt hopeful enough to trudge onwards, after all.
"Used to be that I didn't think about what was coming next because I didn't think I needed to. I knew I was gonna be a fuckup for the rest of my life, until I... well, until wasn't. People dragged me outta that and made me clean my act up. But it's not like it's cleaned up enough to *do* anything with it. I'm still dumb. I still don't know what kinda uni I'd go to if I *was* smart enough to impress someone. And I don't even know what I'd even do if I *did* get in. I got no skills, no money, no lifelines except for Achilles... I guess I got my brother, but he-"
For the third time in what had been less than a handful of weeks, Hyousuke forced himself to cut his own thoughts short after catching himself speaking on matters nobody else had a right to know about. Suddenly, he seemed far more awake and alert than before, as if physically slapped out of his reverie.
"He's not important." He said, dismissing that entire notion with a single phrase, though the haste and insistence with which he spoke did not agree with the assertion. "Anyway, it's just... I got nothing and nobody to fall back on, I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that that I'm not already doing. Feels like I'm stuck, and like the only thing I can do is dig in and try to make the best out of shit situation. Getting there's important, but what do I do if I don't even know where I'm supposed to be going?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Hyousuke takes time to sort through her words, and she sits back and gives him the opportunity. Things like this aren't going to be decided in one short interaction, after all. And when he starts to respond, she gives him her full attention.
Thinking that fighting and hurting is the only path for him, odd jobs and dead-end things, not thinking about the future because it felt like you didn't have one...
...That's a familiar thought. She felt the same way. ...In a lot of ways, she still does.
She doesn't interrupt him just yet as he continues.
It's a difficult situation to be in. Making strides in improving your life, but being in a position where it feels like those improvements don't even matter...
It's a rough thing for an adult to deal with. Much less a teenager.
She sees, too, the way he freezes up - becomes more watchful, dismissive, when he lets slip a comment about his brother.
There's something to that - something that changed his demeanor immediately. She wonders what the situation there is... and if that has something to do with this current dilemma.
...Well, she's smart enough to know when it's better to let a topic lie. It already must have been difficult enough to ask her about this - she doesn't want to make him regret it by angling toward an uncomfortable subject.
...This would be easier, though, if his problems weren't the same as her own. If she knew how to figure out what one's future should be and how to choose it, her situation would be pretty different...
...But she's still as aimless and afraid to commit to any one path as ever.
"Well... digging in is one option. Maybe you could make it work." Shinobu replies. "Or... you could ask for a hand up. Go around, talk to people, hear what they have to say about your situation. ...You've already off to a good start with that, comin' to me."
She looks to the sky for a moment, then back down to him.
"It's not gonna be easy. Might be the hardest thing you'll do... harder than fighting Shadows and Demons, that's for sure. Ask your teacher, ask your friends. Bet that Marlowe'd be glad to give you some advice, too. If any of 'em are as dedicated to helping you pick yourself up as it sounds, I bet they'd be willing to talk." She says. "When you're not sure where you're going, sometimes what you need is a new perspective. New ideas... advice on things you might've never thought about on your own."
<Pose Tracker> Hyousuke Suzuki has posed.
Hyousuke was quiet again, clearly ruminating on her words. Each one took what felt like an age to process. Each one lingered in his mind, and his instincts told him to reject them. Everything he'd been taught, everything he'd taught himself, it all railed against her telling him to reach out to others, and against striving to be better than some lowlife with the bare minimum of an education. Even with her, someone that knew his troubles and had proven herself an ally, he was visibly distant and uncomfortable. Not through any fault of her own, of course, but the years had not been kind to him.
"I don't think I know how."
The statement was delivered quietly, but even so, Hyousuke's voice strained to sound the words out. Each syllable was all but forced out, and even by the end of it, the whole thing felt more like a collection of sounds he'd manipulated his throat into making than a sentence of any kind. But the words were there, and hung in the December chill, only to be carried off into the great beyond by a stiff gust. "Just feels wrong to ask them for help with this. Fighting a Demon or a Shadow or whatever, yeah, I'll call for backup. That's just what you do. But this... I dunno."
He drummed his fingers against his thigh, wrung his hands shifted his features - he fidgeted, in other words. Hyousuke twitched and twisted and turned, wracked with uncertainty but unable to give a voice to it until another pregnant pause had lingered between him and Shinobu.
"Besides, they've all got their own shit going on. They're all moving on to different places, and doing different things, and this feels like a problem *I* should be figuring out. I can't put that on them when they've got so much happening to them."
His friends had futures. They all did. The adults had their jobs and their duties. And there he was, dug in and waiting for life to hit him. Even reaching out to Shinobu had been a monumental effort, and staying there talking to her took no small amount of it too. To seek the aid of those closest to him, and give them little in return... It was laughable, almost.
"Maybe Marlowe-sensei." He eventually conceded, albeit hesitantly. "Guess it's kinda his job to help me with things like this."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
'I don't think I know how', he says. ...That answer doesn't surprise her. He seems the type - she knows that because she was, too, but she had the support structure to encourage her to get past that. He, as far as she can tell, doesn't - or at the very least, isn't used to having one. It feels wrong, he says. They've got their own things going on. A problem he should be figuring out.
"Yeah. It's hard, feelin' like you're imposing on someone. Like I said... hardest thing you might ever do." Shinobu concedes with a nod. "...But I gotta ask, and this might sound harsh - are you saying that 'cause you know they're too busy, or because it makes it easier to avoid it if you tell yourself that?"
She shrugs.
"If they're real friends, even if they can't drop everything and help you handle your own shit, they can at least sympathise and maybe offer some ideas of their own." She says. "I'm sure they'd rather know what you're goin' through."
He concedes on Marlowe, though, and Shinobu nods at that too.
"Yeah, I mean... He's gotta have resources and shit, to help point people in your position in the right direction. Helping prepare you for the future is all part of his job, like you said." She agrees.
Shizuka Kuroki has connected.
<Pose Tracker> Hyousuke Suzuki has posed.
Hyousuke was quiet, but it was not quite the contemplative silence that he had displayed before. Rather, it was something tense, with an expression that belied a great deal of thought - and a hint of frustration. Her question regarding whether it was his friends holding him back from asking for help, or if they were fetters he had placed upon himself, was not one that he had an answer to. Not immediately, at least. Even as other questions and thoughts were brought up, none managed to shout above the clamour that one question had sparked.
After all, if he had placed that burden upon himself and impeded his own progress, what else was he guilty of? What potential had been stifled by his own action, or lack thereof? How much of it was the fault of those that had wronged him, and how much of his fate had been wrought by his own hand? Much as he strained his mind, he had no clear answer, and could offer her nothing in return.
"I just hope he can do something before the semester's over. Once I graduate, I'm gonna be on my own..."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Shinobu studies him as he thinks about her question. She can see the frustration on his face of not having an answer. She's been there, too.
She nods, as he expresses his concern.
"...Yeah, I get that. Hopefully something works out." Shinobu replies. "...But, hey, I'll still be around, even after that. Anything happens, you can still reach out to me, alright?"
And with that she stands up, clapping a hand on his shoulder.
"...But, that's a lot of hard thinking for one day. C'mon, why don't we grab something to eat, my treat. Give our brains a rest." Shinobu suggests.
No good decisions are made on an empty stomach. That holds true even today.