2025-07-09: Boundaries of the Heart
- Log: Boundaries of the Heart
- Cast: Goro Akechi, Ren Amamiya
- Where: A karaoke bar near Shibuya Station, Tokyo
- OOC Date: July 9, 2025
- IC Date: Thu Jun 07, 2012
- Summary: Ren and Akechi have a serious talk about boundaries and set some mutual expectations.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
It's a busy Thursday afternoon, and in order to go from Aoyame-Itchome to Yongen-Jaya, one must navigate the confusion of switching lines at Shibuya Station.
Nevertheless, despite the chaotic nature of traversing Shibuya station, Ren Amamiya's mind is likely to be on Goro Akechi anyway.
How does the author know this?
"...could practically reach out and touch Akechi-kun. Oh I wish they'd done a meet and greet after..."
"...He was really working that uniform, and without seeming like a snob. I wish I was a natural at public speaking like him... then maybe I could meet him on stage."
Because-! Two Shujin girls going the same direction are still talking about the field trip to the TV station. Thus, even if Ren were to want to get his mind off of him...
... well that'd be incredibly difficult, now, would it?
"... He wants his last high school memory to be capturing the Phantom Thieves. This isn't a game to him...!"
It's when Ren is finally waiting at the platform to go home, that Akechi strolls up casually, somehow placing him at an angle that keeps him /just out/ of those two girls' line of sight.
But right in Ren Amamiya's.
He is indeed, working that Summer Uniform. It simultaneously looks well-worn, but clean and pressed. A contradiction of working hard, but not /so/ hard as to mess up his outfit too much.
"Fancy seeing you here." He says with a smile, as if this were indeed /just a coincidence/." And then, as if making a sudden easy connection, "Oh right, I suppose Shujin Academy would take you in this direction... Still, I wouldn't have expected to run into you here."
A tiny pause, a smile that feels enthusiastic without being too forced this time, even as he says words that FEEL rehearsed...
"... Perhaps it really is fate. How have you been doing since last we spoke?"
The train comes... and the two girls start to step on, but not before he hears...
"... It's rumored that Akechi-kun's missing dad is the head of a big financial conglomerate..."
His smile perhaps, dims at that remark, as they go.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Despite being born and raised in a country town called Inaba, Ren has taken to the big city like this was where he was meant to be all along. He does miss the starry sky at night, but from navigating trains to navigating crowds, Ren has adapted with remarkable aplomb. If there's anything he's still getting used to...
He wants his last high school memory to be capturing the Phantom Thieves...
...it's how much the locals obsess over a high school detective. How many times is he going to have to overhear people talking about him?
...This isn't a game to him...!
Ren rolls his eyes to himself. He's not so sure about that. (Though he's not not sure about it either. Akechi is a difficult read.)
But the three of them make it to the platform. There are a few different train lines here. One train approaches as his fellow Shujin students gab amongst themselves; it's not his, so he merely glances up at it, then down at his smartphone. No new messages... Hopefully Sojiro isn't getting swarmed at the cafe again today.
Someone is approaching. Ren looks up--and speak of the devil. He doesn't return Akechi's smile, maintaining his neutral lack of expression. Shibuya Station is a very natural place for nearly anyone to show up, but this platform in particular? But there's something about his smile that doesn't feel forced, even if this talk of fate is kind of...
... Akechi-kun's missing dad is ...
Ren flicks a glance towards those girls as they board the train. They return to Akechi in time to see his smile dim.
"...I've been doing all right. Keeping busy," he says aloud, tucking his phone in his pocket. There is a shift of weight in his bag. Ren doesn't bat an eye. He knows what's up.
Not just with Morgana, either. Ren has noticed Akechi's positioning--walking up just right so that Ren can see him but those fangirls of his can't. That means he definitely noticed all of them beforehand, which means--even if this may well generally speaking be a coincidence--he's approaching him fully on purpose. And calling it a flattering thing like fate. That means, unless he's totally misread him, Akechi probably wants something of him right now. It's just a matter of what.
So: "What brings you here?"
He may as well play along. They have unresolved business, anyway, though Ren doubts they'll have the chance to get into it here, of all places. And if it turns out it really is fully a coincidence and Akechi's only approaching to briefly say hi... well, Ren's fully fine with that, too.
He doesn't ask about his 'missing dad' either way. That's something else one shouldn't try to discuss in a busy Tokyo train station.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
If Akechi notices the shift in Ren's bag, he doesn't say anything. He knows he has a cat, of course. He understands he likely carries him around.
He has yet to understand the cat talks.
That is, Ren and Morgana's advantage over him after all.
"I can imagine." To him keeping busy, "But despite that, you seem as relaxed as always. Perhaps living in the atmosphere of that cozy cafe helps keep you centered."
Akechi responds mildly, as if in small talk... but indeed. He does want something. ... A small thing really, it's his company.
It's enough that he approaches him like this at the platform and has psyched himself out like eight times on asking him to hang out.
He wonders if it's too /weird/ to ask someone to hang out spur of the moment like that on a train platform. So instead he's gone back and forth on just small talk then 'I'll be on my way, we both have places to be.'
BUT...
... their last hang out went pretty well, didn't it?
"Well... I was on my way to the Prosecutor's office, but on the way - my coworker got called to an emergency hearing in court."
Cancelled plans - safe enough an excuse, hard for Ren to confirm, "So I was thinking of taking the train back to Sumaru City to work on another case of mine, until I saw you here."
Akechi almost psyches himself out /again/ on the spot. 'This isn't going to work' he wonders, 'I'm being too roundabout.'
But somehow he convinces himself to keep going, "So perhaps, if you don't have any plans for your afternoon..."
Don't have plans, then what?
Akechi just stops, as if trying to allow Ren to fill in the gaps there.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Quite possibly their only advantage over him right now. After all, as Akechi made it plainly clear back at Penguin Sniper, he could win at any time; he only actively chooses not to because it's less fun that way.
...Well, he implied that, anyway. Even if Akechi is secretly a Persona User and has somehow managed to figure out who the Phantom Thieves are, it's also clear he doesn't actually know how they change hearts, and if he doesn't know that, then he probably can't bring a case against them. Probably.
Though Ren doesn't verbally respond, he does muse on that comment about the 'cozy cafe.' He might actually have a point about that. It's in a relatively quiet neighborhood, and he has the place to himself after hours... It's still very much the city, but the older vibe of Yongen-Jaya is a bit more like home. Maybe because he has a place like that to come to at night, he's better able to handle the rest of Tokyo. Huh. That's not something he'd really considered before... His attic room has mostly been... well...
Kind of a symbol of defeat, up until now. He's gotten used to living there by now, and it's even grown on him a little, but it's definitely got the vibe of a place to which he's been exiled. A place that keeps him centered, huh... It's kind of a nice idea.
Oh right, he's talking again. Ren focuses.
Huh.
He's just... asking him to hang out?
Ren frowns a little. (Akechi might well mistake it for a sign of rejection at first.) The last time was way more fraught than just a 'hang out.' And this is so soon after that... Did he really want to see him and spend time together? Sure, their last hang-out ended on a good note. But Ren wouldn't say it went "well." But on the other hand, they do need to talk... Hrm.
Hm. He's leaving it at that. Is he... trying to let Ren have some space? ...Maybe he did feel bad about touching him last time. Maybe this is his way of asking to talk about it while being roundabout for plausible deniability. Or maybe he's just trying to lead him on for his own reasons. Ren fusses with a lock of his bangs in thought.
"I'm free," he decides. "What do you think about karaoke?"
He doesn't know a specific karaoke bar, but this is Shibuya; there's got to be one in the area. And, more importantly than karaoke, the booths at a karaoke place are soundproof and, above all, private.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
It is kind of a nice idea, isn't it?
But... Akechi does enjoy the atmosphere of the Leblanc, he said as much when he first entered. Perhaps he can see it differently, because he entered it in the first place by his own choosing.
Not as the result of a major life-changing event.
Akechi /would/ say the hang out went well, because Ren proved to continue to be interesting. Akechi's goal - or at least the outcome he desires is different perhaps than Ren's.
Though, he would guess Ren /has/ an outcome he desires, a goal for the future after last time. Ren's frown does make him sweat somewhat.
This was a bad idea. He should definitely disengage. It's easy enough to say words that will make it sound as if he never REALLY made an offer in the first place because /Of course/ Ren is busy, he knows that.
But before he crosses that gap. Ren fusses over his bangs and... 'I'm free,'
His face looks startled for a moment, like he didn't actually expect that, before smiling, "Then I truly was fortunate to cross your path today."
Karaoke?
He somehow keeps an eye from twitching, "My. What an interesting suggestion. This isn't part of some sort of dare - or test of courage put forth by one of your friends right?"
But... he really does want to hang out with him again. Enough to overcome those USUAL objections of doing an activity he's not some /MASTER/ of with someone else...
"Well why not? I certainly having nothing to hide. Why not take this opportunity to show off my skills in your company?"
Akechi's mind frantically tries to remember /ALL/ the most popular JPop Songs, simultaneously. This is going to go /great/ for him.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Objectively speaking, it is a relaxing place. It's got a nice decor, a nice smell, a nice atmosphere... For someone like Akechi, who comes there for coffee (and to do surveillance on Ren), of course that's what he'd focus on. And since he has different goals, of course he would sincerely think that hang-out went well...
It's kind of interesting, watching Akechi's face. (It's very interesting.) He genuinely looks like he thought Ren would turn him down, like he's happy he didn't. It's... kind of endearing. Ren wasn't expecting that today.
Of course, then Akechi starts asking if this is a dare, and Ren blinks back--before the corners of his lips curl up until a small but cat-like smile of his own. "Why would you think that?" he wonders mildly, letting just enough of his amusement peek through--because there is a prime opportunity here to mess with him and he can't resist indulging--before he reasserts a neutral expression. "No, that's not what's going on here," he adds, because maybe he couldn't resist messing with him, but this is a segue into a serious conversation. "Let's go."
~ * ~
It takes a while for them to find a place. Not too long, but decent amount of walking around and checking phone apps for local businesses. Ren hasn't been to a karaoke place since middle school, since he took a trip to Okina City with friends for a celebration, but the overall way of doing things is apparently about the same. He pays for an hour in a private booth, pointedly for both of them; they get menus for drinks and snacks and such while they're in there; and then it's inside a padded room with colorful lights, a karaoke machine and video display on the stage, and of course a microphone stand. Ren seats himself on the couch that surrounds the walls, setting down his bag (now empty (when did that happen (don't worry about it))), picks up one of those menus, and looks over it for a moment. He does not put in an order, either for food or on the karaoke machine. Not yet.
Then, once Akechi has settled in too, he looks up at him.
"So," Ren says, poker-faced, "now that we're in a private, soundproof room where no one can see or hear us--do you have something to say to me?"
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
Why would he think that?
"Well, we do live in an age where anyone can capture any moment they'd like on a phone..."
Akechi does say, keeping his face quite composed, despite sweating all the more. "... trying to capture a rather candid moment just to post it online. I could certainly see someone daring you to do that."
He does have a point in a sense given all the scandals, but the way he phrases (fumbles) through it he's like the world's /oldest/ teenager - seeming to just /think/ this is the kind of thing someone might ask Ren to do.
But Ren reassures him, and he feels a certain relief, even if he tries to show it, "Well that's reassuring. It would be quite the scandal to record me singing certain... pieces... aha. By all means, lead the way."
-=-=-
Akechi /has/ used Karaoke booths as a way to meet privately with some informants and contacts before...
... but he always made certain they were quite sound proof, because no singing is ever going on in there.
Ren takes a seat, and Akechi puts down his briefcase. He does not need to check to make certain it is well-locked. He knows it is.
He triple checked it before ever approaching Ren.
"What a quaint little place... is it one that you've used before?" He remarks, before he takes a seat. And certainly, he chooses the couch at Perpendicular to Ren's.
It leads to a comfortable distance between them, as he crosses his arms and leans back at his next question. "Hmm, as in do I have some ulterior motive for requesting your company?"
He can think of several reasons that Ren himself might be wondering - including one about their last hangout at the Penguin Sniper.
"Not really, though I'd say it would be fair for you to believe I might. Unless... you're requesting something of me?"
He could put forward his deduction, but he can't say to a certainty enough as to avoid the possibility of getting it wrong.
So instead he puts the ball in Ren's court, his brown eyes looking at him, so as to try to search for more information he could use here.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
It's almost funny, Akechi's suggestion that Ren is suggesting karaoke so he can record him doing something embarrassing. (The implication, of course, being that Akechi thinks karaoke is embarrassing. Something to remember.) Would it be scandalous, though? Ren wouldn't have thought so, but... clearly this is another way in which the two of them are different.
Regardless, the two of them soon find themselves at a karaoke bar, catless, Morgana having slipped out at some point when Akechi wasn't looking. (The advantage of not locking your carry-on.)
"Nope. Never been here before," Ren replies as he's looking over that menu. He looks up; he asks his question; Akechi responds. Ren frowns again slightly and sets the menu down on the table between them. "Not an ulterior motive, per se. But I thought maybe you wanted to talk about what happened last time. Privately."
His gray eyes are locked on Akechi's brown; his long legs are folded; his arms, crossed over his chest.
"Since you really didn't want to talk about it in front of other people."
Indirect though it may be, that should--hopefully--be more than enough information, with context, for Akechi to understand what he means.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
Akechi nods as Ren states he hasn't. "Then perhaps you have good instincts." Which, he somehow turns into a compliment anyway.
He can be quite complimentary of Ren just - to a lesser degree as to the braggadocio he puts forward to himself.
Ren however, indicates to him almost right away what this is about, and his expression turns more serious right away.
"Ah."
As Ren indicates that it's about him not wanting to talk about it...
"It seems that my actions that day were... unwelcome." He does look down, and his expression does change to actually looking ashamed.
"I do admit it was my intention to 'distract you' somewhat during my instruction..."
... but he had heard that friendly hangouts between guys could get somewhat physical. And that it need not be seen in a negative light.
He messed up, it would seem. In part because he doesn't actually know what the baseline is - between... guys their age hanging out.
You can observe it, but that doesn't mean you can necessarily grasp the social rules of when, how far, how much. "... but perhaps I went too far."
It's not that he can't understand an alternate interpretation - of course he can. He did even /that night/. It's just he didn't think most guys would in this space of /hanging out/.
That Ren did certainly tells him something, but that's not as important to him in the moment as communicating that first.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Ren rubs the back of his neck when Akechi compliments him. It's... not a bad thing, but it's a different vibe from last time. Maybe this, too, is part of his attempt to apologize? ...If that is what he's fishing for?
And it turns out, it both is and isn't. Ren watches him closely as he reacts. He's wondered for a second if he'd read too much into it, but Akechi does look down, does acknowledge that what he did was unwelcome, does admit that he was trying to make him uncomfortable on purpose (even if that's not how he phrases it)... but there isn't actually an apology. Just sort of a suggestion of one.
...Well, that does seem like him, anyway. He might seem like he does feel bad about what happened, but he still waited until they were alone to even admit that, and he's still too up his own butt to actually say 'I'm sorry.'
He's still annoying.
...But he is at least trying. Ren can acknowledge that much.
"Mostly it was unexpected," Ren thus replies, rubbing the back of his neck. "Let me be clear: I did appreciate the pointers. I just... thought you were going to say them, instead of... physically adjusting me? It put me off-balance." He gives him a pointed look. "Which you admit was the point. Even though I'd never played the game before, and you'd just completely schooled me at it. So you have to admit, you can see how I'd take it in a bad way."
Friendly hang-outs between guys can get somewhat physical. It's just that there's physical, and there's bending someone over a table. (Okay, he didn't go that far. But it sure felt like it to Ren.)
"So, yes, you definitely went too far," he continues. "But I'm not... grossed out, if you're worried about that." He doesn't want to make Akechi think this is a 'no homo' kind of thing. "Just... ask first."
hmmm nope that's too far in the opposite direction of 'no homo'
hmmmmmmmmmm he can't think of how to reel that back without going too far back in the other direction again
guess he's just gonna have to live with the implications!!!! he doesn't even like this guy!!!!! HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE THIS GUY.
...ugh. Ren rubs his temples and wishes, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, that Akechi weren't so goddamn handsome.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
"I see. It was my first time attempting to teach - I thought perhaps it would be more effective to teach you by adjusting you more precisely."
He says, as he sits back, internalizing this. It's not that he doesn't understand how it /can/ be awkward. After all he understood implicitly if Ren were a girl - that he would have to be more careful.
"True, though - one might point out that if I were merely looking to dominate you going forward, then it would hardly behoove me to show you proper technique so you can practice your form."
He is something of a contradictory mess of a person. "Fair enough. I do see how it might be taken that way, certainly."
Now however, Akechi /does/ wonder... about something more grim. After all, he has looked into Ren, and while he can't admit it... he does know from his background checks that he did take up ice skating, and had a male coach.
Akechi with his detective's brain adds up what he wonders might be another injustice in Ren's background that wasn't reported upon.
He does at least say he wasn't grossed out or something which does ease him off that theory slightly, as Akechi slides forward on his seat, placing a hand on his chin.
As if considering things for a moment. It makes him uneasy to think of someone... seeing his actions in that light. That's the one line he could never see himself crossing.
He always thought of it in light of... with another girl, but, now he's considering it much more seriously of the idea of crossing it with another guy.
It's not like he doesn't know that he's attracted to more than just girls... it's just, he always thought it was too dangerous given the game he's playing to consider those dynamics.
After all... should the wrong person find out, even just one...
"If it would make you more comfortable going forward, then I can certainly agree to those terms." He clears his throat, "Are there any other 'ground rules' you wish to set for the future?"
He's definitely not necessarily inviting there to be more, just - you know, now he's actually a little messed up about how his actions were taken.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
"If you were looking to dominate me, then you could have figured I'd be too rattled to even remember the proper technique you were showing me, then tell me it was my own fault for not paying attention afterwards so you weren't going to show me again," Ren points out. "But if that was your first time teaching, I can see how it wouldn't occur to you."
Indeed, it isn't really the way a guy would think, is it? Well--not a cishet guy, anyway. For his part, Ren is neither cis nor het, but he (she (they)) is not about to tell Akechi this. They aren't out to their family or even their new friends; they're certainly not going to come out to a guy they find annoying.
...Anyway, they're pretty comfortable with any pronouns, including the "he" he's been referred to since birth, so it's not like it's a big deal most of the time, either.
Ironically, his male coach was the one who introduced him to these concepts and allowed him to realize he is a she and a they, that he isn't just attracted to girls. For all that (ex-)Coach Himuro let him down in the end, it would be genuinely upsetting to Ren to hear someone else make that assumption about him. Fortunately, Akechi doesn't say it aloud, and moves away from that theory on his own.
And, thank god, doesn't make Ren asking for consent in the future weird. He breathes out a silent sigh of relief. The fact that Akechi does take it seriously, does seem to be disturbed by how his actions came off, earns him several points with Ren, too. (Three grinning musical notes, perhaps.) It's still a little bullshit, but at least it definitely wasn't sexual harassment.
"Thanks," he says aloud. He rubs the back of his neck as he thinks. "I can't think of any," he admits, "but if you'd asked me that the other day, I wouldn't have thought of 'don't touch me without asking first' either. And... it's not like casual touching is a problem? If you wanted to tap me on the shoulder or pull me by the arm to one side or lean on me or something simple like that, you can just do that. Or... give me a head's up first so I know to expect it."
Heat creeps up his face as he considers explaining what the difference is. He really does not want to. "What about for you?" he offers instead. "If I'm being honest, I got a vibe like maybe you were a little upset with me about something. Did I step on a landmine at some point and not realize it?"
He could make some guesses, but Akechi is a hard enough read without jumping to conclusions about what part of their long debate might have made him angry. Ren's hardly perfect at reading people, either.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
"That is true, I could have done that." Akechi allows - deciding not to tell Ren he's closer to the mark than he expected. He thought perhaps it was an... interesting thing for a rival to do.
Teach... then undermine in the same breath. Then again... he might have been willing to show him again.
In the same way, Akechi does /catch/ that this isn't precisely normal guy behavior, perhaps indicating something else...
Still, he's being cautious about digging too deeply into that now, without an invitation. People generally don't share that side of themselves unless they're quite comfortable doing so.
Indeed, Ren offers the idea that some casual touching is alright, and Akechi does lean back, crossing his arms again, "That's simple enough."
He seems /relieved/ it's not quite that extreme a prohibition. Though he would have accepted it had Ren made that a hard line.
After all... he's used to not touching most people, or being touched. Only his... other side, can be indulgent like that, and usually it's only for Shadows, which aren't exactly people.
However, then Ren's comment causes him to blink in surprise, after a moment, as he didn't think it would come up.
He does assess the situation for several long moments, looking towards Ren seriously. "There are... certain circumstances about myself that I'd rather not discuss..." Akechi says with an air of awkwardness.
"... but what I can say at the time, I was caught off guard by the potential for my actions to be misunderstood in a certain light. It was... difficult to think of any way to explain myself in a satisfactory way, and I was enjoying our time together. I hardly wanted our game to end unfinished because the conversation necessitated us going elsewhere."
Akechi does look down, then closes his eyes, and there's a torn expression. This is a risk - but it's taking a risk with someone that by all rights he /should/ have already killed.
But that would be unsatisfying, now wouldn't it? He can't even call him a proper rival, /yet/.
"The truth is that I believe I'm perhaps... attracted not only to the opposite sex, but my own as well? It's never truly come up..."
Those brown eyes of his look not quite at Ren's face, but somewhat down and to the side, "... for obvious reasons. The public would vilify a 'Detective Prince' who looks askance not just at Princesses... but other Princes."
His hands fold together, as if mind were torn between vulnerability and /risk assessment/ in real time. "Mind you, that wasn't why I did that. You are an attractive guy and all."
He says cautiously, "But I wasn't trying to be indulgent in /that/ sense. And the risk of such an accusation flying about in such a space could be quite damaging to my image, very quickly."
And while he's actually being quite earnest here...
... another part of his brain estimates that he could kill Ren Amamiya in just a few seconds and have the body dumped in Mementos shortly after, with cleaners from the NWO to this establishment within a few minutes to scrub any footage and clean up the blood.
... But he genuinely hopes he doesn't have to. It is a gamble, but one he hopes will not cause him to ah... freak out and necessitate it.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
In all fairness: it was definitely interesting, in the sense that it was not boring. Whether Akechi would have shown him again or not, one supposes they might not ever know.
But they're on the same page now. Ren's glad for that. It doesn't matter if Akechi looks down on him, because Akechi's opinion of him doesn't affect who he actually is--but it feels better if they're meeting each other as equals. ...or at least, in all fairness, equally deserving of respect. Ren's going to have to work very hard to be on Akechi's same footing. That's even before whatever's going on with him as a Persona-User, too.
For now: Ren offers Akechi a chance to air his own grievances. It takes a while for him to start to speak, but Ren is patient. There's a long time yet before their hour is up, and even if it runs out, he can order an extension. (It might be tough on his wallet, but still.) Eventually, he speaks to indicate he'd rather not say, and Ren nods, prepared to leave it at that. If it were him, he'd be the same way. Maybe wouldn't even bother saying that much.
But then he goes on, and Ren sits up straight. This isn't what he'd been talking about, but in misunderstanding him, Akechi is... opening up? This is something to pay attention to. (As if he hasn't been paying attention this whole time.) His eyes widen slightly at the confession--of this irritating, sparkly, more-perfect-than-thou boy Detective Prince admitting he's queer to someone he barely knows.
Color rises in his cheeks again as Akechi tells him he's attractive--but no, that wasn't why. And, not knowing Akechi's internal calculations of what he'd need to do to preserve his image if it all goes south--Ren is genuinely touched that he would take this risk with him.
"I didn't think you were," he says quietly. "If I did, I wouldn't have asked you to join me in a place no one would be able to hear me scream." He pauses a beat. "Sorry, that was dark. What I mean is... I wasn't trying to throw any accusations at you the other day. I just wanted to make you understand my perspective. That's why I dropped it."
And that's why he brought it up again, here, after taking him someplace where no one would be able to hear him scream.
"For what it's worth, I was enjoying it too," he offers, both verbally and with a small, brief smile. "You're an annoying prick, but I want to play you again."
He thinks about telling Akechi he's queer too--that he's also attracted to guys as well as girls, though truthfully the gender of a person doesn't really matter to him, any more than theirs matters to themself. He decides not to. Akechi's being sincere with him for once. He doesn't want to make him uncomfortable and wish he hadn't done so.
...Maybe one day he'll share back. After he finally beats him at pool.
"Thank you," he says instead. "For being honest with me. I promise, I won't tell anyone else."
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
Indeed, it would be hard for Akechi to argue he doesn't look down upon Ren to some degree. He wouldn't ever say it - but it would be difficult to argue otherwise. He has to be at the top, no matter where he is.
But, the fact that he wants - desires Ren to be nearly even if not quite his exact equal, since he must beat him.
Well, he's not gonna beat those prick accusations any time soon, for reasons like that. For starters because he's actually analyzing Ren's blush, some... as if trying to read into it.
Akechi's eyes grow wide some as Ren indicates 'a place where no one would be able to hear him scream.' He mostly compartmentalizes off that dark calculus deep inside himself at times like these.
But that doesn't mean it's not there. And as Ren further explains in a way that indicates he does not in fact /know/ what he is to that degree...
... that side of him sinks back to where he usually keeps it, when playing the role of the Detective Prince.
Two masks, two sides of him. One might argue that this conversation would belong to the other. His violent true self. The 'deviant' that would never be accepted if people understood it existed.
But the reality is, it belongs to all sides of who he is.
"Aha..." He tries to defuse that tension with a soft chuckle, "No... it's alright. As a detective, I'm quite familiar with humor... and considerations of that sort."
There's a touch of his usual smugness in his smile, but only a little, "Believe it or not, this is the first time I've been in a Karaoke booth with someone where I didn't have to consider the possibility that they might try to corner me here."
Which is also perhaps a mild admission he's never been in a Karaoke booth with /friends/. He finds himself, genuinely touched - by Ren's acceptance of that, without considering it... to use the word he did earlier... 'Gross.'
The contrast - the contradiction in Ren enjoying their time together /and/ thinking of him as an annoying prick?
He finds he likes it. That's how a rival should think, right?
"Well, I wasn't anticipating /that/ descriptor. But I'm glad you were..." He even grins at him, "You really don't hold back, do you? I suppose that what makes spending my time with you so enjoyable... not that I'd...think of /myself/ that way."
He may suspect certain details about Ren from that blush, from other details, but for now while he files them away, he doesn't play the detective, he doesn't dig further.
"You're welcome... and well..." To be this honest, all the time. He can't always... to do such would to show an intolerable weakness.
But for now, with a rare rival... perhaps he can allow some rare degree of honesty to slip through his mask of lies, from time to time.
"...I appreciate that. It's not exactly something I've ever shared about myself with anyone."
Ren did realize earlier, the two were nearly strangers... and yet he did share such a damning detail that would cause him such a scandal to the public eye. Perhaps... that's just how Goro Akechi is... lacking connections to such a degree...
...that the moment he finds someone he /can/ connect with even a little... it goes to say how lonely he truly must be.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Of course Akechi's trying to read into that blush. Detectives be detecting.
Ren hadn't really expected that Akechi would take being called an 'annoying prick' so well; he'd said it because Akechi had been honest with him about his feelings, so Ren wanted to be honest back in some measure, even if he's not coming out to him back. It's kind of fun that he does take it well. Could it be that he had entirely the wrong impression of Akechi until now?
...Well, yeah. That's the point of the image Akechi's trying to present, isn't it? And Ren thinks he understands why now. If he's also in the closet... Ren admitted it himself the other day: he does understand why someone would live a 'fake' life after all. If Akechi is queer, then of course he'd try to hide that as hard as he could. And Ren had criticized that way of life right before he'd come in to try to unsettle him...
Is all this just an extremely roundabout way of explaining that's what had upset him?
God, he really is annoying. But... maybe not in such a bad way, somehow. Knowing there actually is a real person underneath with real anxieties does a lot to endear him to Ren.
Even if Akechi's counter about the karaoke booth is a weird flex. "Thanks for not thinking I was out to get you, I guess?" Ren replies, rubbing the back of his neck. (It is also a roundabout admission that he's never come here with friends, something Ren notes. But Akechi didn't seem like he wanted to do karaoke anyway, so that's not necessarily a giveaway on anything.) "But that makes sense. I guess you're used to dark talk." He presents himself as such a noble prince-like figure that it's easy to forget that, if he's been seriously investigating serious crimes, he must have seen some shit in his day. He wonders how Akechi got his start. With a name like that, it's like he was born to be a detective, but those girls were talking about his 'missing dad.' Is he searching for him or something like that? Should he ask him about it now that they have some privacy?
Ren remembers the look on Akechi's face when he overheard that too, and decides to refrain.
"I can hold back," he says accordingly, though he smiles back and adds as a half-joke, "Holding back is what gives it that extra punch when you finally go for the throat." (Figuratively, of course. He enjoys fighting Shadows, but he's not otherwise an especially violent person.) His smile fades into something more serious. "What made you decide to share with me now, though? We don't know each other that well. Isn't coming out to me a huge risk for you?"
If it were him--and it is him--he wouldn't open up that easily. There's something a little uncomfortable in that self-understanding.
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
It /is/ strange that he would, perhaps. Indeed, with most people he'd find it incredibly insulting. So why not Ren?
... Perhaps, it's because it's the role he's assigned him, the one he wants him to aspire to. But it is also true he was quite offended by the 'fake' life - because it hit close to home.
Far too close to home.
In the days that followed he'd actually spent quite a lot of time in thought, thinking about how much of his behavior truly is fake...
... and how, for as much as the 'audiences at home' like his fake Persona, all it took was for him to visit one person who lives /truly/ to question it all over again.
Is it worth it?
A question he gaslights himself into believing he never asked to begin with. Of course it is.
"Well... admittedly you don't exactly fit the profile of someone who would be. I suppose if you truly thought I was so insufferable, you might use the opportunity to post something embarrassing to my reputation online?"
He's suggested as much, but it was never a /serious/ suggestion. It was more a dodge, it was more 'Haha I'm in danger' about Ren recording him doing karaoke as he was embarrassed enough on his own. "But I find the idea unlikely, given your reaction to what I just told you."
He does chuckle as to Ren agreeing he's used to 'Dark Talk', "It would be difficult to solve brutal murders if you didn't have a sense of humor about the worst society has to offer... not that, one needs to be a teenage detective to have that experience."
There's a sort of grim wistfulness on his face, "Adults only believe they hold back for our sake but we're never so innocent as they'd have us believe... or stay."
He knew that lesson long - long before most do. Growing up where he did... innocence is an ephemeral thing.
And Ren's comment next, gets a small laugh, and a grin out of him, "Is it? My. Does that mean you were going for the throat then? Or are you still holding back even now? Either way, it reminds me I'll need to keep on my toes around you..."
But why share with him now? For a moment, that affability just moves off his face like he flipped a switch, or turned some shutters, his expression turning more pensive.
"...I suppose it was." He murmurs quietly, but it's not as if he doesn't know that. It's just /before/ it was an incalculable risk he would never take. And today it was...
... it was still quite significant, but not that. For a while, he seems lost in thought, a hand upon his chin as he considers the question.
"I'm not really certain. I'd like to say that being a detective is all about rationally deducing the best course through the facts, logic..."
He trails off, but then comes to a decision, "... just as often it's about intuition. Going with one's gut, so to speak. And mine told me that it was worth taking that chance with you to clear up a misunderstanding, Amamiya-kun."
The pensive expression fades and he smiles again, "I wish I could give you an answer to better clear things up to your satisfaction but... there are worse justifications than going with someone's gut, don't you think?"
Perhaps, Akechi himself doesn't even really understand... he wanted to. He wanted to share and connect with someone else. If he suggested it to himself, he'd claim it's absurd to connect to someone he will one day kill...
... but, it's the truth he can't admit even to himself.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
"I wouldn't," Ren says, firmly and immediately, of whether he'd post something embarrassing about Akechi online. He pauses at his own reaction and how that's basically exactly what Akechi is talking about, then smiles ruefully as he rubs the back of his neck. It feels a little weird to be known like this--especially by someone who's dedicated himself to arresting him and proving his Justice is wrong--but... if they put their respective secrets aside-- "Heh. Okay, I get your point."
His smile fades into a look of concern as Akechi confirms he has seen some dark things in his time. "Seems like an intense way to live." His eyes lid as he goes on about adults. "...Yeah. We're only 'innocent' as long as it's convenient for them," he murmurs, glancing away. The rest of the time, they have to smarten up, be responsible, stop being so childish--all kinds of things to try to control children for their own sakes. Ren shakes his head a little.
At least there's humor in this conversation too. Ren smiles at Akechi's little laugh. "Both." It's true, after all--he was being direct about that, but he's holding back on asking after Akechi's father. If he asked that now--well. There's value in knowing when to keep your mouth shut. Ren knows that very well.
He doesn't plan on confronting Akechi about being a Persona User, either.
He sobers as Akechi continues his question. Why take that chance on him? And Akechi says that... it's intuition.
That's also something a cishet guy wouldn't say, Ren thinks. But then, Akechi isn't a cishet guy, is he. Sometimes feelings are more important than facts. Ren can believe now that Akechi understands that.
"Yeah. There are," he agrees. And he thinks he gets it, too. Akechi made him feel vulnerable by bending over him to adjust his body, so to prove he really is sorry without actually saying it, he's making himself vulnerable back by sharing something deeply personal about himself. He might not be able to say it directly, but he's managed to convey it anyway.
Maybe understanding that is the key to understanding Akechi.
"Well, thank you again. Let's just consider ourselves square, then," he continues. He pauses, a thought entering his head... and usually he doesn't actually say or do the funny-but-jerkish things that pop into his head, but--Akechi liked it before, didn't he? So:
"Oh, and for the record... you're attractive and all too, Akechi, but you're not my type." Ren rakes a hand through his hair as he winks and gives Akechi his very best obnoxious smirk, a certain sparkle in his eye. "Don't go falling in love with me~."
He holds that pose for a second before his lips break fully into a grin. "Just kidding."
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
"I thought you might," Akechi says a little smugly to Ren saying he gets his point. Why is he like this?
It wasn't just where he grew up with his mother of course. The foster care certainly. What the employees /pretended/ was out of earshot, or what they wouldn't understand.
The complaining about certain kids, himself most of all, typically...
...perhaps he was born a cursed child, but he understands why he was not allowed to remain one even as long as most children.
Even though he technically /still/ is. That too, is a contradiction.
Nodding in agreement to Ren's extension of his own point, he finally says, "Inconvenient... yes that's the right word for it." He ruminates softly on that idea of innocence more than just dark talk at work, "They've been turning a blind eye for so long, that they are upset when children remind them that they could once see."
It's that kind of mood however, wherein he's lost in thought more than considering the dreaded possibility of being made to /sing/ in front of Ren Amamiya.
Indeed, that facet is basically forgotten... the detective is thinking more about how he /feels/ in moments like these, often.
The facts have never been as important to him as he claims they are in their discussions...
"Square?" That word catches his attention, and he smiles, "I'd certainly appreciate that. And I promise that I'll keep our agreement in mind going forward."
He could say other words, frame it in another way but 'agreement' or 'deal' always make it feel more firm to him, more tangible, more real. Like an 'agreement between men'.
A detective Prince has to keep his word after all, as part of his image. Even as Goro Akechi lies through his teeth just to /live/.
But then his head cants at Ren stating he's attractive and all, brow furrowing like 'What's going on here?' Before... 'you're not my type.'
And that elicits a genuine laugh, "Ahahaha- my." 'Don't go falling in love with me~' Akechi's laugh stops for a moment, even if he's still holding his smile as if in the midst of what ws a good mood before.
'Just kidding'
"...What a twisted sense of humor you have." Akechi replies IMMEDIATELY after, as if he's actually fine with the joke, or deduced a just kidding was coming (He didn't, actually), "Do you lead on those who /are/ your type in the same way?"
There's a throaty chuckle again, not quite like before, "There's no need to worry about that." Akechi's right eyelid suddenly drops, as he winks at Ren, "Even if you were /my/ type. As I said before, you might only barely pass muster for hanging out with me, if my fandom were to catch us together."
There it is again! That obnoxious... smug prick is-!
"So what standards would they set for you if they suspected we were dating?"
The way his voice lowers into a soft, yet subtly serious tone, it's rather clear now what the context actually is. Even if Ren were his type, it just... can't be.
He must continue to live his fake life, and that side of himself can never be public.
If he ever does date, it must be someone who fits society's standards of a girl 'worthy' of him. It wouldn't be accepted otherwise.
It's quite sad, in a way.
What goal is truly so important to him that he wouldn't cast aside this 'fake life'?
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Ren doesn't smile when Akechi ruminates on the blind eyes of adults. There's room for a bitter, ironic little smile here, but... to Ren, it just isn't something to smile about.
Even the adults you trust the most can let you down. It's not like Ren has lost all trust in all adults forever, but it's not funny, either. Not even as dark humor.
...But at least they aren't singing, yes. The karaoke machine will continue to have to be lonely as they continue to have a serious discussion in a garish soundproof party room.
They come to an understanding, at least. Akechi can call it an agreement or a deal and that's fine by Ren; he's been making 'deals' with lots of people lately. It's kind of safer that way. Ren isn't so disenfranchised by his unjust criminalization that he no longer believes in the goodness of humanity or anything like that, but a part of him does think that if he and the other person are both getting something out of a relationship, there won't be any resentment later.
(There will still be resentment later. Some people can't help themselves. But Ren would like to believe he can avoid that this way, all the same.)
But then--it's weird. It seems like the joke hits at first, until all of a sudden it doesn't. Until all of a sudden, Akechi's upset again. Ren's own smile fades as he lowers his hand.
"..."
He looks away, rubbing his neck. Given the horror stories he's heard about the idol industry (and that's not what Akechi is, but there's something very similar about the way he's trying to present himself on TV), he's not sure Akechi's fans would stand for him dating anyone, male or female or otherwise. And that's the point Akechi's trying to make, he suspects. He considers what to say next.
- At least this means it's your turn to piss me off again now.
- Sorry. That was a rotten joke.
...Well, he already tried to make a jerk-ish joke and he went too far. And strictly speaking, Akechi already stabbed back at him by telling him he's only barely good enough to be in his presence. He sighs and rubs his head. It does piss him off, but it's hard to get mad about it given the context. Fine, he'll take that one on the chin. He deserves it.
- At least this means it's your turn to piss me off again now.
> Sorry. That was a rotten joke.
"Sorry. That was a rotten joke," he says quietly. He rubs his head a little more, then flips his hand in what he hopes is a nonchalant manner. "You're right. Realistically speaking, I'm just some nobody country boy. It staggers belief that a popular guy like you is even bothering to give me the time of day."
And the only reason he is, is because he suspects him of being connected to the Phantom Thieves. That's kind of depressing. If Ren managed to definitively convince him he wasn't, would he lose interest and ditch him? Or would Akechi be interested in him no matter what?
Ugh. This sucks. But at least it's a much-needed reality check. Compliments aside, and they were probably just to get his guard down anyway, there's no way Akechi would ever be romantically interested in him. He wants something from him, that much is obvious, but it sure as hell isn't that. It's better to remember that he needs to be kept at arm's length, for the team's sake as well as his own.
So Ren folds his hands over his knees and looks Akechi in the eye, expression neutral. "But you are, so in the meantime, I'll be practicing my shots."
<Pose Tracker> Goro Akechi has posed.
The smile is so automatic that Akechi doesn't even seem to understand he's just doing it so as to take the edge off. You can say many off-color or inappropriate things to adults, so long as you're smiling.
And even if you can't, it's easy enough to say 'Just a joke.'
It's a thing he does all the time... so, you would think he might give Ren some grace doing it. Except, he doesn't, at first. A hypocrite through and through.
Perhaps this one hit close to home, because it forced Akechi into asking himself uncomfortable questions. Even dismissed, the fact that a joke forced him to do that at all...
... Ren does look ashamed though, and after a while, the tension /does/ ease off, especially with how Ren chooses to apologize, a nobody country boy.
Trash living in an attic.
Akechi can salve his own ego with words like that. He is after all, the one in a position of acclaim, power here. Both in this place, and in the Metaverse...
... his Justice, is still the only one that matters. And through Ren, he can prove that.
"Accepted. To tell you the truth... while that side of you can be irritating from time to time..."
WHO IS HE TO CALL ANYONE IRRITATING? "...I really don't mind it all that much. It leads to one interesting experience after another, dealing with someone who's willing to push the boundaries like that."
And perhaps too, it is /his/ mild petty revenge in that comment, by implying that the side of him that went too far with Ren at the pool table, is not that far from the Ren who would make jokes like that after he let himself be vulnerable.
It's not that he's saying he did nothing wrong in retrospect, perhaps...
Unfortunately it leads Ren no closer to his answer on whether Akechi is interested in him for him - or him as his primary suspect of being the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.
But perhaps that's the wrong question...
... as Akechi leans forward slightly. On the other couch, he's not /too/ close to Ren as to break a boundary, but he is laughing. "Well, as I've said before... I truly do enjoy our conversations... especially now that we've added a game to them. I think that, part of you is worth fielding a little risk of harassment, hmmm?"
And then leaning back, he says speculatively, "Could this side of you come from being a little Inaka? It is a compelling narrative... the country boy in the big city. Perhaps if we were caught together, I could spin it to my fandom after all..."
Okay now he's definitely just teasing him back again, but at least it's deescalated from being upset.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
And that's the point, too. As Ren thought to himself earlier: it doesn't matter if Akechi looks down on him, because how he sees him doesn't change who Ren is. But if Ren said something to hurt his feelings, then appealing to his pride is an effective way of apologizing. He's not going to back down either... but while he wouldn't go so far as to say he's nobody special, it's an objective fact that he's a country boy and, as far as 'Ren Amamiya' is concerned, he's a nobody. He can say it out loud if it makes Akechi feel better when he feels bad about something Ren said to him.
Whose Justice is correct is a whole other issue. But that's not what's being discussed right now, no matter what Akechi might otherwise think.
Ren absolutely snorts when Akechi calls him irritating, though. Pot, kettle, black. "I won't bother apologizing next time, then. ...But I'll also stay off the topic of your sexuality."
It's only fair. And it fits, too. Ren asked for physical boundaries, so he'll offer Akechi emotional ones. He doesn't mind Akechi leaning in--they're still a good ways apart with how far away they're each seated--and when he laughs, Ren relaxes. He still keeps in mind that this is not a friendship, let alone anything more than friendship, it's a game of cat-and-mouse, and they're right back in it, but at least it doesn't have to be hostile.
Though when Akechi starts talking about spinning a narrative about them, Ren rolls his eyes. "Shut up."
But he's smiling again, too.