2025-07-15: Hanzou's Wishes, and Ichika's
- Log: Hanzou's Wishes, and Ichika's
- Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Hirasaka - the Dark Hour
- OOC Date: 2025-07-15
- IC Date: Sunday, June 10 2012
- Summary: Tsubasa is called to Tartarus as they fall into despair over their father's cruelty. They run into a Silky before they can make it all the way there, but they still need to be saved -- by Ichika, who takes on the mantle of the Ogre with no other choice to save her best friend. Ichika learns important things from Tsubasa, in the twilight state they're in, but Tsubasa doesn't remember a thing...
- Content warnings: Themes of suicide and child abuse
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
> hey
The message comes in that night, around a whole throng of people who don't know why Tsubasa's missing from the party. Shizuko's an extroverted girl, and she throws a good party, but...
> dont thnk ill mke it
> can u drop lanc off aftr
> thx
... the bass keeps thumping.
Tsubasa's apartment is as tiny as ever. There's a click of a deadlock opening, and they open the door. They're in a new wig than the one they were wearing when they handed Lance off; a quick glance around will reveal the one they were wearing shoved into a corner of their desk, dirtied for some reason.
Their eyes are pretty red, but their face is stoic as ever as they say, "Hey, Boss. Thanks for taking her out." Tsubasa steps aside to let Ichika in, crouching down in the motion so they can scrub at Lance's sides. The higher tone they put on to address their dog is a little screwed into place, but: "Were you a good girl? Huh? I bet you were such a good girl!"
Lance borks, wriggling, and it's a testament to work they've already done that she doesn't lick their face off in the process.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
> Can do
That night. Ichika didn't answer immediately, because she didn't notice immediately. It was a party, after all. But...
As soon as she did, Ichika started thinking of excuses to duck out. It wasn't that hard to come up with one; it had been a good part of the party already, and Ichika usually ended up disappearing at some point in the night anyway, just not necessarily alone.
So after mentioning it was time to bring Lance back...
-=-=-
Ichika Kawase hears the deadbolt open. She has Lance with her, and sees--new wig. Red eyes. Stoic face.
"You're welcome," she says. "Lance is always good to have around." They crouch down, and Ichika steps in. "She was a good girl," Ichika confirms for her.
"..."
"...I don't feel like heading off just yet," she says, "I'd rather hang out with you and Lance some before I go home."
Which is unusual; it risks... well.
Doesn't matter.
"So what's up?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Sure." Tsubasa grabs the bannister, swinging around to dump themself on the stairs instead of crouching on the floor. (If they wince, a little, in that motion, it's probably just an awkward movement.) There's a glass of water on the desk which is -- well, probably half-empty, given the context.
"Father came by earlier," they fill Ichika in on the facts. And just the facts, ma'am; they take a bit of a sharp breath, but manage to largely keep their composure. "Said he'll send a new unit over. So that's sorted."
Lance, who's trotted over to the kitchen, leads a whine into a bark as she protests the lack of food and water bowls on the floor.
"Oh, shit," Tsubasa blinks, looking that way. "Sorry, girl. Forgot to put them back out."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika's also a glass-half-empty girl. It's fine.
But just the facts, and not all of them from what she can tell. She notices the sharp breath... the wince earlier...
Ichika has her suspicions. "...That's good," Ichika answers first of the microwave. She considers the old one, for a moment. Then looks back to Tsubasa.
"I got it," Ichika says first, and goes for the cabinet to get the food. She considers what to say, how to say it while she does.
Ichika sets to work, and then, "...It was bad," she says.
It's not really a question.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
The food and water bowls are set on top of the kibble bag; there's a cup, inside, to help dole out the kibble, and the sink might be leaky but still dispenses water just fine.
Lance barks again, happily, when Ichika places them down for her, licking at her hands to express her affection before she gets to destroying some kibble.
Tsubasa's glad... she's having a good time.
But...
"Yeah."
Tsubasa props a knee up on the stair, to rest their hand on it. They think again of what they settled on yesterday, that it takes effort to help and to be helped in turn. They'd prefer to just pretend it never happened, of course; it's easier that way. But --
She's putting in effort, too. That's harder to bury and dismiss. She -- wants to know, wants it to come to light.
"He kept calling me a girl," they say, and their stoicism is a shade more miserable, now. "Called me by the name he gave me. Said I was pathetic... I was stressing mom out not surviving out here. He decided I'd broken the damn thing, so..."
They swallow. Their throat's still dry. It's always dry, ever since the fire.
"He, uh. He hit me," they say, dropping their knee down and twisting a little to show their side. "Where the Foundry Boss got me good the other day. So everyone's gonna just think it's from her... so there's no point telling Officer Shimizu or anything."
But that's not quite the story, is it?
"... I mean, I told him I was gonna, but he pointed out how it looks, so there's really no point."
And if anything, admitting that they'd threatened to tell someone what he did -- only to be soundly undercut -- stings more than saying it like they'd figured out it was pointless.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Kibble and water. At least Lance is happy. It's good, that they were able to do that for this dog--to get this dog to Tsubasa. And Ichika... remains standing for the moment. She considers. But Tsubasa actually answers her, so...
"Ugh," Ichika says, shaking her head. But she doesn't interrupt. She looks sharply alarmed at the matter of hitting though. And right there...
"You told him," she repeats. "...It's better that you thought to tell. In fact, I think you should still tell her. Maybe she can't do anything... But she definitely can't do anything if you go with what he says."
"...He's an asshole," she says. "You're not pathetic. You're doing your best out here. And you're not a fucking girl."
"...I can believe he hit you. I wish I couldn't believe it. But I saw, at the police station before..."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Is it better...? They'll just think Kyoko did it...
... at least Ichika doesn't think they're a girl.
"He never hit me before," Tsubasa says, and that miserable tone is much more at the forefront, now. "I mean, he'd... hurt me, yeah? Like... grabbing me at the station, or pressing somewhere I was hurt, or... whatever. But he never -- hit me. I guess it woulda looked bad."
They look a touch queasy, looking down at the stairs. "... but now I get hit all the time, so I guess he figured he could get away with it, since no one was here or anythin'. If I didn't get into all those brawls, it would've been fine, I guess..." As if it's their fault he --
"He said she'd just figure out I got it, roughousing with rotten girls," they say, haltingly. "And the school would back him up... and it was my own fault. Shit, man... I thought it was weird he'd come out and see me. He never wants to see my face, I shoulda known I'd get it..."
They blink, and blink, and blink again. "You know," they add, their voice growing a touch high and whining, "he was even mad I wasn't getting a husband so I'd be someone else's problem? He's so sick of me, he s-said -- I should just go ahead and die so I'd stop draining him!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...It's an escalation," Ichika says. "It never starts with hitting. It starts with stuff you can maybe forgive. Stuff that just seems like he got a little carried away." Ichika has thought about it--looking back, seeing the signs...
"It would've looked bad," she agrees. Then, "...Yeah. It's not that he's not willing. It's that he doesn't want to gt caught. Asshole. If you hadn't got into those brawls, he'd have found some other way to hurt you."
Ichika steps over, kneels down to get on Tsubasa's level. "..."
"He sucks," Ichika says. "...Hey."
She considers a moment, and then rises, stepping to the microwave instead. "...If you're getting a replacement anyway..."
"Let's break something. Instead of just sitting here being miserable. Get it out."
"...Because I don't want you to die. I don't want you to find some guy just to be 'his problem' either."
"So come with me."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"It was, weird," and if there are tears in Tsubasa's eyes, they're sure as hell not bringing it up, "you know, how he never had a problem with what Yasuda-san did? Didn't even slow him down? Or stop him from draggin' me out and tossin' me or, nothin'?"
Of course, the reason why Hanzou didn't mind Hajime hitting his girlfriend was quite simple.
Hanzou's the kind of guy who would.
But when Ichika kneels down, Tsubasa looks up, meeting her red eyes with their miserable blues. Close up, it's entirely too visible how they're covering up all those scars, and that's why they don't tend to let people get this close.
... well, she's an exception.
They blink, though, when Ichika suggests wrecking it. "Ya reckon?" They ask, straightening a little. "Guess if that piece of shit hadn't broken in the first place, I wouldn't be in this place... y'know what, yeah!"
There's a bokken by the door, obviously, in case Tsubasa has to fuck up someone who comes by. It doesn't take long for them to dig out a metal bat, either. They lean them against the doorway, and go to retrieve the cursed microwave unit.
(Luckily, they already unplugged it.)
With a great heft, they haul the whole thing out onto the railing... and then toss it out onto the street, where it lands with a smash and a splinter on its side.
"C'mon, pile on!" Tsubasa yells, as they grab that bat and vault off the side of the railing to land down there, bat-first.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika doesn't bring it up either. She sees it, that's enough. No need to draw attention.
"Yeah... that tracks," Ichika answers, and she imagines the truth. But she then sees Tsubasa. Not the scars, though she sees them too--but Tsubasa. And then...
"Sure do," she says. "Great."
The bokken and the bat. Good enough. Ichika takes the bokken, since Tsubasa has the bat. She thinks about it for just a moment.
Her brother liked these. ...Maybe, this means...
Maybe he'd help out, too.
"Haaaah--!" Ichika hops off the railing, too. It's perfectly safe!
And smash goes the microwave!!!!
"Yeah!"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Okay, it's probably not totally safe to jump off the railing. It's pretty high up. But it's not so high up that it's definitely going to break something, and the thing about youth gangs is that they're all about doing crazy shit that looks cool to see if you can do it.
Tsubasa slams their bat into the microwave, and it dents, and dents, and dents again. "Do you MIND?!" Another member of the units yells, from their barred window. "I'm tryin' to sleep here!"
"Sleep when you're dead, jagoff!" Tsubasa yells back, with a savage grin. "Want some help gettin' there?!"
"Fuckin' punk kids!" The voice yells back, and conspicuously does not go out to start a fight.
Tsubasa, having successfully intimidated the apartment block, laughs as they continue beating in the microwave.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Perfectly* safe. Yes.
Ichika doesn't break anything on the way down. Instead, she hears that satisfying dent, and grins. She does indeed pile on. And as for the barred windows, well...
"Heheheh," Ichika laughs, as nobody comes down to bother them other than just the yelling. It's fine.
The yelling actually kind of makes it better. After all...
If they're going to be trouble--
"And that!"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Next time it'll be your face, asshole!" Tsubasa yells, as they slam the bat into the microwave, and -- well, it's a statement that does double-duty.
On one hand, they're intimidating the neighbourhood, because no one wants to go out and tell these punk kids to show some respect when they're this obviously violent.
... on the other hand, they're probably not imagining their neighbour's face.
And once the microwave is nothing more than scraps of metal and broken glass and some parts which almost certainly should not be breached and exposed to the world, Tsubasa sits back down on the gutter, with a bit of a huff and a puff. At least they're smiling, now.
"Sure showed that thing. It's fuckin' scrap."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Violence! ...It's not the best way to relate to the neighborhood, but are they going to expect anything else out of them anyway?
Ichika isn't worried about it at the moment. But no, it's definitely not the neighbor's face. Ichika... might imagine a different face still.
Scraps of metal, broken glass, and things Ichika doesn't know anything about. It's fine. ...She's also not planning to clean it up. That's also fine.
Instead, she moves to sit down next to Tsubasa, likewise huffing. She grins back at Tsubasa.
"Sure did. Nice moves."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Man. I oughta done this before... actually give him somethin' to be mad about. God, it's so stupid! I didn't even break the fuckin' thing!"
Tsubasa pauses, and nudges a bit of scrap with their bat. "Well, I hadn't."
Grammar lessons with punks. That's where they're at.
... they're not out here with a dustpan and broom, either.
"Shit," they say, spreading their arm as their knees splay open too. "Sometimes I wonder what's stopping me from just going ham on my father like this. Is that fucked up, or what? It's like... what if I could actually fight."
They puff out a breath, though, knocking the piece of scrap across the street with their bat. "Guess it's different when it's punk shit like this, though. Man. You ever wonder, though? What it'd be like if you actually like, had the power to fight back?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Heh. Yeah, you hadn't." Ichika likes the turn of phrase. But it is stupid. It's ridiculous. It's awful. And...
"...It's mostly just that you don't want to," she says. "Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe doing what they do would be bad."
A look to Tsubasa. "Because... I don't know. I'm stronger than I used to be, by a lot. ...But does it change anything?"
She thinks of how it 'ought to be'. She thinks of the power she discovered, that she's not using.
"...So I don't know," she says. "Maybe..."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I just... feel so trapped, you know?" Tsubasa sighs, tapping their bat against the gutter. "I get in fights all the time, but I can't fight back when it's him... fuck, I can't fight society. Like all the shit I get into, it doesn't really mean anythin', and..."
They strike the bat against the ground, harder.
"He said I was bound to die anyway," they frown, down at the frayed remnants of the microwave. "'Cuz of my lifestyle. Like, I'm a disappointment, I'm unworthy... I'm really just a pain in his fuckin' ass. He said it'd make his life easier if I just went ahead and did it..."
Tsubasa lifts a hand, burying their face in it. "Shit," they choke out, sucker-punched by tears again.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Trapped. Ichika can't say much about that; she feels the same in a lot of ways. But now, it's Tsubasa, and...
"Hey," Ichika starts, worried. "You're not. It's not like that." Her hand shifts; she moves it towards Tsubasa, but doesn't quite lay it on them. Instead, "He's an asshole. He--"
Shit, Tsubasa says, and Ichika's brow furrows. "I--"
23:57
23:58
23:59
"Shit," Ichika echoes, as the world goes green. She usually avoids this.
She did not today.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I... I-I just..."
Tsubasa was never able to just give Hanzou what he wanted. They couldn't be his daughter, even though that's all he really wanted out of them. But now? Now?
Now, they can -- there's something they can --
A sick moon rises, in the sky, as the hour and second hands shatter on the clock. The smell of blood invades their nostrils, as they flare, their hand dropping from their face to reveal Hirasaka cast in green.
"What... what the fuck?" Their eyes widen, still slick with their tears. Their bat clatters from their hands, splashing into a pool of blood in the gutter, and they look down with trembling horror. "The fuck --"
Perhaps Ichika catches it, as their gaze snaps back up to her.
The flash of red, over their eyes.
"Sorry," they say, as they sway, dazed by the weight of their sins. "I'm sorry. I'll make it right. I can... make it right."
Their hand presses to the gutter, and they sway standing, before they start loping off into the night.
They can't see it, over the skyline, between all Hirasaka's buildings. But...
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Blood. And the world is strange. Ichika looks to Tsubasa and her eyes widen in alarm as she sees them, not a coffin this time. That's not a good sign, somehow, she knows. "Hey--"
Ichika catches that, all right. The red. And then suddenly--
"Wait!" Ichika calls as Tsubasa starts running off. Ichika doesn't know where they're going. But she knows somehow that if they get away--
"Tsubasa-kun!"
"WAIT!"
Ichika charges off after, dropping the bokken on the ground as instead she pumps her arms and uses her greater height to try to catch up despite the lag in starting.
"WAIT!"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Wait...
He's been waiting for them to shape up for so long.
Tsubasa is quick -- they have to be, to get away from the cops. But Ichika is another thing entirely, even if it might be clear to her that there's a reason she never quite loses them as they dart through the side-streets.
The thing is... there's a hotel, on the corner, here, which is always spotless despite its real estate smack in the worst part of the city. They say a faerie lives there, and that's why all the patrons have to make sure to tip well.
On a night like tonight, the demon Silky can stroll out of her rumoured nest to... do a little shopping? Visit her friends, the Pixies? Show off her lovely red dress?
Perhaps she was just
hungry.
When Tsubasa rounds the corner, they all but run into her. Her green hands steady them, as she examines them with lidded eyes. "It's strange to see a human out at this time of night," she says, her tone curious. "What are you hurrying off to, my dear?"
"It's calling me," Tsubasa murmurs, looking past her, strangely unshaken by the green maid holding them still. "In that place... he'll be happy with me. I can make him happy... it's easy..."
"Oh, dear," Silky's brow creases, as she holds out their arm. "You can't impress anyone when you're this dirty. Let me help you!" She takes out a scrub-brush, and begins scrubbing at their fake tan, as if she could buff it out.
Tsubasa looks down to their arm, dull, not quite registering the pain of her scrubbing at their scars. "I told you," they say, distantly, "that won't work, dad. It's not makeup, it's a tan... I went to a parlour... stop it..."
"Huh? It's in your skin?" Silky asks, looking up to them again. "Oh, you poor dear! You must feel so miserable!"
She lays a hand on Tsubasa's cheek, fingers resting by their jaw, smiling reassuringly to them. "Well, don't you worry," she says, as her fingers
claw
inwards
"... we'll get that skin off in a jiffy, and I'll wash it up nice and new!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika runs. She hasn't run like this since--well, since the last time they were trying to avoid the cops, actually. But it's different. She's not running away from someone. She's running towards something.
She knows the rumors, but she never believed them. She makes her way towards the next spot--and rounds the corner after Tsubasa. There is indeed a fairy there...
The place is calling them. Ichika has no idea what they mean. But still--
She stares for a few moments. It's a strange sight, after all. Except...
"HEY!" Ichika shouts, and suddenly, the Will of Rebellion surges within her. She changes, suddenly attired differently; an onna musha in wide sleeves and pants, but rather than traditional armor she has modern plates, like a soldier. Autumnal oranges, browns, and reds, with roses painted on her black armor and thorned vines threaded about it. Her shoes are futuristic; her gloves are synthetic, fingerless, with spikes. And her headband with long ribbon is linked with her mask, cracked over the left eye... and she has horns, like an oni.
"ASSHOLE!" Ichika shouts.
In her hands is a tall, large shield--and Ichika slams it straight for Silky to get her away from Tsubasa, her whole body rushing in the strike.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa feels Silky's claws, but they don't resist, their own eyelids lilting down just like hers. This is what they deserve, anyway. Maybe now, he'll be...
That 'happiness' is torn from Silky's claws as an ogress slams into her, tossing her down against the street. Tsubasa stumbles, too, thrown adrift by the way she releases them.
"You -- you dirty little!" Silky swears, as she picks herself up. She's distracted, for a moment, by sweeping the filth off of her dress. "How am I the asshole here?! I was just helping this poor little human, and you barge in and ram me!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Dirty! "I'm not little," Ichika says, but she doesn't protest dirty. Silky is distracted, and that's a good thing, because Ichika needs a moment to recover herself after that hit. But she decides, since she has her on the back foot--
"You're not helping!" Ichika says. "They're a human, they need their skin!"
She draws herself up to her full height, puts on her best intimidating aura. "I'm their Boss. So back off, lady."
>Ichika negotiated with Thorn Boss!
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa looks up, from the ground, at the oni on the street. "Who... are you?" They ask, blearily. "Why..."
Silky talks over them, her hands planting on her hips. "Their skin is dirty!" She insists, huffily. "They need to be clean so they can get to their appointment looking good! You're being SO UNREASONABLE!"
Silky is getting mad, even as Tsubasa, behind Ichika, stares at her. "... Boss...? The Boss..."
Was there... something important about...
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"What kind of appointment are they going to have if they're dead!? Humans don't live without skin!"
She is being unreasonable. She's being unreasonable!! Ichika frowns. "Last chance," she says. "Pound sand or I'll pound you."
She shifts around, shield in front of her, to get between Silky and Tsubasa. Boss, they ask.
Ichika won't let them down.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa doesn't seem to recognise the girl in front of them, but how much of that is the strangeness of the Dark Hour? It's hard to tell, because Silky is still in front of Ichika, and getting more peeved by the second.
"Wow, are you stupid?" Silky huffs, stomping a foot. "Their appointment is with death, you little dustcloud! Haven't you ever seen a human hear death calling for them before?! I bet it sounds like... 'life sucks, time to get in Silky's tummy!' Right, dear?"
She asks Tsubasa, but Tsubasa is numb, turning to her too late to give any answer she'd wait for.
"They think I'm right," she answers for them, helpfully. ('Helpfully'.) "But you, I can't just spruce up for your date with the abyss! You really made me mad! Take this!"
Shards of ice form around her, as she invokes Bufu with a twirl, pointing straight at Ichika...
... and at Tsubasa, who's in no state to get away.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Silky... calls her stupid. Ichika doesn't like that. "No??" Ichika answers immediately. A human calling for death... in this hour? Like this?
"Just--"
She's made her really mad, and Ichika jumps in front of Tsubasa--only to find that Bufu hurts a lot, actually, as the ice settles down around her. Some of it deflects off of her shield, but the rest hits hard, leaving frost on her vines. "Gah--" %
"FUCK!" Ichika shouts, "Fuck, ow, fuck!"
She hits a knee--but then narrows her eyes.
"...Is that how it is?" she asks. "Well too bad! Death can FUCK OFF!"
"AND SO CAN YOU! PERSONA!"
Ichika finally calls forth her power--the power that let her escape from that Palace, over a month ago now. A cut-in on her red eyes appears, and they flash--before she rips off her mask with one hand.
"RAAAAAGH!"
The Shadow-woman in her maple kimono has long horns--and a fierce, sharp-toothed expression. Her hair is long and loose; her claws are long and terrible. And she lifts her club to point at Silky--
In fury, she delivers Zanma, one of Ichika's strongest attacks, in the face of a direct hit on her own weakness. The dust around suddenly jumps up as a wall of pure force slams straight down for Silky and explodes outward!
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Death can... fuck off...?
Tsubasa watches, harrowed and numb, as Ichika throws herself in front of them. It's... hurting her? Then, why would she... take that just to shield them?
Whatever they're struggling with, though, Silky doesn't pause to give them the camera for long. Ichika summons her Persona, and Silky yelps as Zanma blasts towards her. "Yeeeek!!"
She's picked up and thrown by that force into the wall of her hotel, and little birds circle her head, as she stands. "W-what a scary human!" She gasps, apparently not expecting so much resistance. "You know what?! I quit! There's way softer targets, and I bet they'd like being made squeaky clean! Good-BYE!"
She opens up the door to her hotel, and storms through it, slamming it behind her. The doorhinges rattle.
Is... is she gone...?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika of course doesn't entirely look like Ichika at the moment. She's dressed very differently, and something about the disguise makes it hard to tell who she is, even when Tsubasa isn't... like they are now.
Little birds. Ichika is not so bloodthirsty that she follows, especially not when she's still smarting from that Bufu. So when Silky quits--
"Bye," Ichika answers toughly, and shake her head. "Ugh," she says. "That's..."
>Ichika has leveled up!
She stows her shield on her back and kneels down to get next to Tsubasa instead. "Hey," she says. "It's cool. It's OK. You're safe now."
"...I'll protect you. I promise."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Ichika levels up; Tsubasa, notably, does not. They reach up a hand, to grasp hers, and she might feel it trembling.
"Why?" They ask, instead, focusing on that question over who for the moment. "I'm a disappointment... I make life harder. But now, I can do something... I couldn't change who I was. But I can die," they insist, desperately, tears gathering in their eyes again.
"If I just die, I can make it up to him. He'll love me again, right? If I stop being such a pain in the ass, he'll be happy... that matters most of all. When he's not happy, everyone's miserable... I need to take responsibility for making life so hard for everyone. It never boiled over until I messed up..."
... but did it really start with their disorderly conduct, that tyranny which makes one man the centre of the universe?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika does feel that tremble through her glove. She's gentle; she is wearing spikes, after all. But she feels stronger. She feels like--
The power to do something. The power to protect someone...
"Because I care about you," Ichika answers. "...Because you're worth the trouble."
She shakes her head. "You won't," she says. "He won't be happy no matter what. ...Because his problem is him. It's inside him. No matter what's around him, it won't be good enough. That's... what I think."
"He's not your responsibility. You're his responsibility. ...He's doing wrong. He's fucking up."
"You don't have to change who you are. ...You don't."
"You just have to live."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"You... do?" Tsubasa sobs, lurching forward to clutch their arms about Ichika's midsection. (She might need to think quick to avoid hurting them, with all her armour, because they're sure not thinking about it right now.) "You mean -- I'm not worthless?!"
How deep does that run through them, that it would be such a pervasive belief now they're here on the ragged edge of consciousness?
But this girl says there's something wrong, inside him, and Tsubasa just sobs louder. "There's somethin' inside me! I'm just, inherently--! I can't be a girl, I can't be good, I can't be anything worth anything! I was always making up for it, even before I screwed it up! Always, always!"
Their hand jerks, though, as their shoulders tense. "But... he was always there... does that mean he was never gonna be happy? He didn't even want me... I was always just an extra burden. Never could make myself worth it... is that really wrong?" ... it's hard to fight against a message they've heard all their life, but evidently, Ichika's words aren't falling on deaf ears, either.
"I don't know if I can do it," they confess, shoulders hitching in another sob. "I-I'm not strong enough to fight him. I can't fight all this... I only act tough, you know? It's really...!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika catches Tsubasa, catches their hands, so that she can clasp those instead of Tsubasa hurting themself on Ichika's spikes and thorns. "You're not," she says, soothingly, truthfully. "You're not at all."
"...You don't have to be any of those things," Ichika says seriously. "I think it does mean that. He's just... that kind of guy. The ways you'd have to twist yourself up to even try to make him happy... They're wrong. You shouldn't have to do that."
"You aren't supposed to have to make yourself 'worth it' to your parents," Ichika says.
"And you don't have to do it alone, or even fight him openly. Just... Just live."
"I'll help. I'll stay with you. Just keep on living, and that's fighting enough. You don't have to shrug it all off. That's what friends are for, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa clutches at Ichika's hands as if they're a lifeline; they might well be a lifeline. "To someone... I'm worth it," they repeat, faintly.
But they don't have to be anything, this oni says, and Tsubasa's head dips forward. "I'm all twisted up already," they say, "and he's not happy. He's never really happy... I thought if I could solve why I set that fire, he'd accept me, but I'm just fooling myself. Right? Figuring that out won't change him... guess it's just important to me..."
But she'll help. Tsubasa squeezes her hands, their face a mess as they look up to her again. "I'm not alone any more?" They ask, their brow knit, struggling with themself. "No, I... I'm part of somethin' now... the Boss... the Boss would say shit like that. Shit, I ran off and left her... in a place like this..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"That's right," Ichika says. And maybe Ichika isn't the most comforting presence in this outfit... or maybe, hearing it from a monster, a villain, might make it even more appropriate for Tsubasa.
"It's important to you," she says. "That's enough. ...That's what matters--you are. He can't or won't see how good you are. And that means you can see it for yourself, instead."
"You're not," Ichika says. She hesitates then. Part of something... They don't recognize her. ...Should they? In something like this? Or--
"...She would," Ichika says. "It's cool. Let's get you back to her. Somewhere safe. Come with me, OK?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Maybe hearing it from a monster is the only way it makes sense, when Tsubasa's so used to being the one at fault in their household, the black sheep no one wanted at all.
"I'm... what matters? That's enough? That's enough..." What do they see, when they look at themself? ... is it all that different to this ogre?
Maybe being a monster... isn't so bad.
They're not alone, so they swallow, and sniffle, and nod. They'll take Ichika's help, standing up; they'll keep grasping at one of her hands. "You'll... help me?" They confirm, slowly, unsure. "Even though I just barged into your place..."
... they think Ichika-the-oni lives here?! In this spooky place full of monsters?!
"... okay," they nod, and they'll follow along.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Right," Ichika-the-oni answers. ...It's so different, seeing her friend like this. It's a little surreal, seeing them in the Dark Hour at all. It's a little surreal being in the Dark Hour... and knowing she can help in it. Ichika lets Tsubasa keep her hand, though she is careful about her own knuckle spikes. And the confirmation, it's--
Ah. Her place.
"Yep," Ichika says instead. "Sure will. And your Boss'll be along. She's fine."
Ichika gently, carefully, leads through the blood and green and buildings, back where they'd run from. Back to Tsubasa's place.
...Hopefully alone.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"She's really okay?" Tsubasa asks, because they don't know they shouldn't be concerned for her. But a monster would know. "Okay..."
No other demons venture out to try for an opportunistic snack, thankfully. Demons can be quite particular in how they live their lives, apparently, in their strange and alien ways.
That doesn't mean Ichika doesn't see any other demons, of course. There's a pair of Jack Frosts, passing by them on the other side of the street. "She looks hee-deous," one of them remarks, approvingly. The other turns to him, and points to Tsubasa: "She caught a ho-man! Think she'll share?" But all that first Frost has to do is stare at Ichika for a moment to decide, "... ho-no, she's greedy!" The second tugs at his brother's arm, and suggests: "Hee! Run away--!!"
"... creepy," Tsubasa mutters, drawing closer to Ichika. It's not just the monsters coming out at night, though -- they startle when their sneakers splash, only to look down and see a puddle of blood. "Ah--!"
And when they pass too close by a coffin, they can be heard, behind Ichika: "No way..."
... they at least seem a little more tuned-in now Ichika's caught them, but maybe that feels dangerous, too. Isn't it better for Tsubasa not to see a place like this?
(They're not ready to be here, yet.)
Their door is unlocked. Lance is nowhere to be found, but the only animals Ichika's ever seen when the world's green are cats, so maybe that's not immediately a cause for concern. The power's out, of course, and the light is dim with just that one window. "Thank fuck," Tsubasa exclaims, their voice tight, as they release the oni's hand to hurry inside.
For a moment, they're occupied with taking their shoes off, instead of with anything here.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Yep," the monster knows. ...It's easier than explaining her new powers to Tsubasa. Something tells her... that's better. Ichika does see the Jacks Frost though. One of them remarks about her, and she takes the compliment with a little surprise. ...Greedy, huh?
"Damn right," Ichika says.
But the blood... there's nothing she can do about that. "It's cool," she says. "Just don't worry about it."
When the door is unlocked, Ichika stops at the threshold this time. Instead...
"Cool," she says. "I'll send your Boss in. ...Don't worry about stuff out here. I'll handle it."
Ichika starts off, and...
If Tsubasa doesn't try to stop her, she'll turn the corner before concentrating and trying to let go of the Danger.
It's harder than it feels like it should be, but...
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
The Jack Frosts will realise, all too late, that they were BAMBOOZLED and those were TWO HUMANS and one of them was just ARMOURED LIKE A CRAB but still PERFECTLY EDIBLE, much like crabs are. Realising they could have had a snack each, they swear vengeance...
... but they won't find Ichika again tonight.
That's a problem for later.
That monster tells Tsubasa not to worry about the blood, and Tsubasa just clutches her hand tighter. "S--sure," they stammer, not quite as cool and stoic as they normally are.
They get out of their shoes, only to straighten up and realise that Ichika-the-oni isn't coming in. "Wait!" They cry, reaching after her. "Who -- who are you?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
That's going to be a problem for later. Maybe Ichika can get some sapphire earrings by then. That would help. But that's later. Right now--
Ichika is going, and pauses when Tsubasa asks for something. Who is she...?
Ichika turns back, and is thoughtful for a moment.
"I'm an Ogre," she answers after a moment. It feels right. "...Maybe you'll see me again. But not tonight."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
An Ogre...
When she gives Tsubasa a name, they'll lower their hand, though they look relieved to hear she might not be disappearing forever. "... thanks, Ogre," they say, and they're not stopping her any more. "You really saved my ass out there. I -- I owe you one."
They can't stop her, though. They turn and head inside, instead. "Lance?" They call, peeking into the bathroom without any luck. "Lance? Here, girl!" But no girl comes here, even though Lance is very smart and good with her commands. Tsubasa climbs the stairs, but she's not napping on their futon, either.
Shoulders shuddering, they collapse down to sit on it, instead, curling their knees up to their chest.
"It's okay," they tell themself, shakily. "It's cool. Ogre's handling it..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"You're..." Ichika nods. "You're welcome. And I'll remember," she says, of owing her one. "...But I meant the things I said, too. Don't forget."
Lance isn't there, but Ichika steps into the apartment a moment later, no longer in her garb of Rebellion.
"Tsubasa-kun?" she starts. "Hey..."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I won't!" Tsubasa promises, their words pressured by the gravity of the night. And they're left with that, as they huddle up in the loft. Remembering, very deliberately, and not without effort.
In a place like this -- they want to just run out into the abyss. They don't belong here. It's stark, and harrowing, and nervewracking, and wrong. All the pressure of that distant horror which drains the energy of Persona-Users is so much more, without a Persona to use.
But they lift their head, when they hear Ichika's voice -- and can recognise it, without her Will getting in the way. "B--Boss?" They call, a touch choked up. "Up here..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Nobody belongs here. ...'Here' doesn't belong here.
But Ichika is here, and Ichika climbs up to see them, sitting down next to Tsubasa.
"Hey," she says. "...I'm just gonna sit here for a while, OK?" she says.
"...Just hang out for a bit."
"Sound good?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Ichika sits, too. Their futon's big enough, especially with Tsubasa sitting on the side of it like this.
"Okay," Tsubasa says, glancing sidelong to her. For a moment, they even manage to play it off casually, until their hands tighten around their knees. "... please don't go. I, I don't think I can be alone right now. I tried to..."
They trail off, looking down at the wood of the loft's floor. "I dunno why I'm so keen to go. Just, run into some monster and give up... or set myself on fire. Guess this is another question I can't answer, huh... ugh, add it to the pile."
Tsubasa sinks into their knees, trying their best to pretend the darkness is just any old normal light, even though that green is filtering in from below. "Maybe this is all a nightmare," they mutter. "Him goin' so far, the world fuckin' up, gettin' saved by a real-ass yamanba... shit..."
They glance down, at the floor between them and Ichika, and place a hand down to scooch themself closer to her. They're still too shy to reach out to her on their own, but they can at least silently acknowledge, in this horrible nightmare place, that their usual insistence on personal space isn't helping them much.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I'm not going," Ichika confirms. She isn't leaving; she's going to stick around, and as Tsubasa says they don't know...
"Can't say," she says of why. Instead, "...Yeah." Add it to the pile.
"Maybe," she says of a nightmare. She doesn't know how this world works; is Tsubasa going to wake up in it again, and again? Or is this a once-off? They don't have a Persona, but...
Ichika reaches the rest of the way, scooches to close the distance and puts an arm around her friend. "Can I give you a hug?" she confirms, before she does just that.
"...I'm not going," she confirms. "If it's a nightmare, you're not alone in it. If it's not... you're still not."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
It's hard, the asking. Admitting they can't do it alone, when they've always had to be able to make do alone. But if even a stranger of an Ogre would help them, they...
Tsubasa nods, and nods again. The pile's getting higher. If they're lucky, maybe all this never happened. But...
"Mm-hmm," they hum, when she asks if a hug's on the table. With her volunteering, at least, they're able to curl their arms around her in turn, knees listing over to lean into her space. It's harder to pretend they're not trembling when she can feel it, but they do their best, anyway. "... thanks."
What if it's not a nightmare? What if he really did do those things..?
... well, if he did, Ichika's here. She said she's not going anywhere.
"... it's weird," they say, after a hanging length of silence. "It always feels like I'm alone, but there's really someone there. Right...? Even when I set that fire... I remember, Nagasawa-san dragged me out." They frown, clutching Ichika a little tighter. "That's right," they say, as if it's only just dawning on them now. "He was there... swearing about how Jochi should'na been such an amateur..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika doesn't know what she's going to do about that Ogre yet, but it felt good to help.
Ichika hugs Tsubasa, stays in their space as they get into hers. Ichika won't bring up the shaking if Tsubasa doesn't. Instead, she says, "It's cool."
She's not going anywhere.
"You..." Names. These names might be important. Ichika commits them to memory, She listens, and...
"An amateur, huh...?"
It was a setup. It had to be a setup. But Ichika doesn't know enough to know what kind, what it means.
"I guess... it's hard to be totally alone."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I forgot what Nagasawa-san did for me," Tsubasa admits. "You know, when I got therapy... it was too hard to think about, I guess. I mean, I knew he did it, but... what actually happened..."
It must have been a set-up; there's no reason Tsubasa would keep writing down all those numbers, all that data, day after day to try and remember where the snarls were. Something doesn't fit; they've said as much, when their guard's down.
"... it's just... weird," they add, turning their cheek in against Ichika's shoulder.
"We never worked with a Jochi-san..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Mm, yeah." Therapy. Ichika... never got much of that. But from how Tsubasa describes it...
"Bad stuff like that is hard to think about," she says instead. "It's natural."
"...Hm?" Ichika wonders. Never worked with...
"Well," she says, "I believe you. ...And I'll remember, too. So if you want to think more about it, you can talk to me."
Jochi-san, at City Hall... Is Ichika really considering trying to look into it? Where would she start?
She can't forget, either way.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Stupid thing is, I keep trying," Tsubasa says, when Ichika assures them it's hard to think about this kind of thing. "I don't know why I remembered that just now... maybe I really am dreaming. Or -- hallucinatin', that's the word they used..."
They said they were crazy, and who is Tsubasa to argue with them?
"But even if I try to think back to it now, it's still blank," they whine, eyes squeezing shut. "One minute, I'm freaking out in the office 'cause I don't know how to present somethin' like that... the next... fuck, it hurt so bad, 'cept for the spots that stopped hurtin'. Nagasawa-san was so pissed, but I guess he felt sorry for me, 'cause he still apologised... then they put me on a bed, and I must've went to hospital..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...We do hard stuff all the time," Ichika reasons. "Or try to. I don't think that's stupid. ...And I don't think you're making it up, either." Hallucinating, making it up--these are different things, but Ichika doesn't see a big difference in the moment.
Ichika doesn't think they're crazy, anyway.
Blank...? "huh."
"...I see," Ichika says, without letting go. "I'm sorry it's like that. ...But whatever you're feeling, it's real."
"That's what I think."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"You really think... I'm tellin' the truth?" Tsubasa asks, and the fact that they have to ask despite all they've already been through is testament to how unlikely it's been made to feel.
"It's real," they echo, and it's not just that it happened, it's that Ichika believes it happened. She believes them!
Tsubasa sighs, sinking against Ichika. "Hospital was bad, too," they say, which is apparently in the same neighbourhood of things which ought to be real. "Man, they shocked me 'til I didn't know what my name was... my father came to visit, too. I mean, before that, when I was still fucked up from the burns. Pinned me to the bed by my good shoulder, so it looked like he was just reassurin' me, but he knew my whole side was fucked up. He knew it'd hurt." They squeeze Ichika, tightly, flinching from the memory.
"See, I -- I had to apologise."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I do," Ichika says. And it's real. Ichika does believe it. She doesn't know what's going on with it--what really happened--but she believes Tsubasa, anyway. The idea of some kind of scheme, some kind of setup... it hardly even seems far-fetched, considering the stranger events they're in right now.
"That's awful," Ichika soothes. About the shocks. It doesn't make her more likely to seek mental health treatment, anyway. "...Ugh. That..."
What would Ichika do, if it were her dad? It would be nice to say that she would fight. ...But she would be devastated, is what would happen.
"He should never hurt you like that. It's wrong, no matter what."
She hates him. But... she knows it's more complicated for Tsubasa.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I keep trying to figure out where I went wrong," Tsubasa admits, "but every time I do, I think of stuff that happened before that, too. When I set everythin' on fire... when I picked up bad hobbies... when I got a bad grade... maybe I had no chance since I was born, since I wasn't planned or nothin'. So I was always... provin' I was worth the effort, until..."
Until they proved they weren't. And it's interesting, the way they place themself as the actor in that statement, despite Ichika saying their father did wrong.
"... I know it's wrong," they come to her point, finally, shaking their head. "But that's it, y'know? It's wrong, but it's still happenin' to me... can't help but think the reason must be I'm some kinda exception. But... y'know... he never hurt me until I set that fire." It's horrible, the way hope infects their voice. "If I just figure it out, maybe he'll go back, y'know? To the guy he was before... maybe he'll love me again."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Mm." Where they went wrong. Way back all then. Wasn't planned, wasn't worth it. Ichika doesn't like hear such things. But, one thing, "...Just because you weren't planned doesn't mean you deserve any less than someone who was." She is quiet about that--but that's something she feels strongly about.
It's interesting, all right. In a bad way. "...You didn't go wrong," she says, sure of herself. "You don't deserve it."
But, "...Yeah. Just because it's wrong... doesn't mean it's not happening." A shake of her head. "But he won't. Sounds to me... Like he never was a good guy."
"...I'm sorry. But that's what I think."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"... I know you wouldn't think less of someone for that," Tsubasa assures Ichika, though they're quiet, too. (It's not just them she's thinking about, is it?) "Just... some folks... my folks knew what they wanted. Well, my father did..."
Which implies it was their mother who wanted them.
Where is she, anyway?
Does she know?
And the thing she ought to know -- Ichika says it plainly, and Tsubasa shudders, tears springing to their eyes again. "I--I know!" They exclaim, hiding their face against her shoulder. "I know, alright...? B-but... but I still keep thinking it. Like maybe it will be different if I look at it another way... maybe it'll make sense..."
... they're not just trapped in the aftermath of their psychotic break because it happened. The reason they can't move on, the reason they can't forgive themself, those foundations were built long before they lit a match.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
No, Ichika isn't only thinking of them. ...But people who know what they want. "Mm." Some people are like that. But Ichika has trouble imagining what Tsubasa's mother could be like. ...or maybe she doesn't really want to. That's not something she could put her finger on either way.
"Mm." They know. Ichika squeezes lightly, and then, "...That makes sense." To keep thinking that. That it'll make sense. But--
"Well, for now, just..."
"I'm here," she says. "Whatever else there is, if it doesn't make sense... it doesn't make sense. But you're not alone right now, OK?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa doesn't mention their mother, much. Whether that's a good or a very bad thing is difficult to say.
"... o-okay," Tsubasa sniffles, in a way which they'd be horrifically embarrassed about if they were in anything close to their right mind.
They draw a shuddering breath, and sink in against her, again. "... I'm tired, Boss," they admit, afraid, "but what if I go to sleep and I don't wake up again? In a freaky place like this..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
But they're not really in their right mind, and Ichika doesn't plan to mention this conversation to them later if they don't bring it up.
Ichika holds her friend, instead. "Then take a rest," she says. "I'll be here to make sure you do."
A freaky place like this...
"Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."
She is quiet. She can stay.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Okay," Tsubasa nods, straightening up. "Thanks, Boss... really."
The hot water wouldn't work right now, but they're not in a state to put themself in bed properly, anyway. About all they can manage is taking their wig off and shoving it into the corner, so they can lie down without it getting wrecked.
They reach over, to grasp Ichika's hand, needing that reassurance that she is still there. ... and the next morning, they're surprised to realise they're holding it. That they didn't wash up before going to bed.
After a moment's confusion, they realise that the two of them must have had their own goddamn party starting with that microwave getting annihilated, laughing with Ichika about how they must have gotten pretty drunk last night. They don't remember a damn thing! Must have been some chaos!
There's just a brief moment of them checking to make sure they didn't do anything stupid while they were drunk before they've put the whole thing aside, because they're definitely going to be late for first period today.
It's fine. Ichika came through for them, that's pretty cool.