2025-08-01: Another Prison
- Log: Another Prison
- Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Ichika Kawase, Hajime Yasuda, Eiji Kamiya
- Where: Kamiya Alley, Hirasaka
- OOC Date: 2025-08-01
- IC Date: Monday, June 18 2012
- Summary: Tsubasa and Ichika run into their exes on the way home from Eikichi's concert. It doesn't go well.
- Content warning: Intimate partner violence, transphobia
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Once Eikichi leaves the Abandoned Prison, everyone's reason to be there quickly dwindles. One guy kicks over the trashcans which the firecrackers were in, speading the ashes everywhere; another swats him over the head and swears at him that he's gonna summon the Death Boss right back in 'cuz he'll think they were smoking. And that whole thing is funny to watch, for a while, but...
Well, eventually, there's shit else to do, and that's when two of those delinquent teens break off to walk through the alleyway and get home.
... Tsubasa's walking Ichika home, today. Just in case.
"You good?" They ask her, as they amble through the alleyway, hands shoved in their pcokets. "Pretty loud gig... can get a bit much." They don't know about the concept of overstimulation and mental overload, but they can make a few inferences based on observation.
Of course, that's not the only reason they might be checking on her, now they're out of there.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
There is indeed more shit to do. Maybe Ichika'll stop through the alleyway for something to eat. It might be nice. Ichika knows where the dorm is, but... the reason she wanted company is the same reason Tsubasa's walking her home. And she is accepting of that. But the noise, well, "...Yeah," Ichika answers. "I'm good. I'm about noised out for the night, but it was worth it."
She keeps talking, "...It was nice to see him going for his dream like that. It's part of why a lot of us are fine with the Death Boss being a second year, right? ...There's something special there."
He is younger than them; by seniority you might expect a third-year to be the biggest Boss. But...
Ichika isn't looking ahead, at the moment. If she were, she would recognize the boy with long, black hair and blue eyes who's talking to someone outside the Izakaya. He's broad, attractive, obviously athletic, and in good clothes.
It's Eiji Kamiya, who Ichika hasn't seen in some time. And she hasn't noticed him just yet.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Cool," Tsubasa affirms, when Ichika expresses her desire to be done with noise. Luckily, their voice is naturally pretty low. Part of it's the smoke damage; part of it's just how they talk. "... yeah, it ruled. Kinda weird goin' to one of those things after all this time... ain't bad, though."
They nod, looking to Ichika as they amble along. "Yeah. Death Boss is unstoppable... can't blame his boys for bein' motivated to get him out there." They might have advised them to consciously decide what they wanted to do, but that doesn't mean wanting to support Eikichi is the wrong option.
They look forward before Ichika does, though -- and the boy they focus on, intrinsically, is the tall guy leaning on the wall beside him. Hajime Yasuda is the greaser to end all greasers, with slicked-back blonde hair straight from a bleach bottle and a Hawaiian shirt whose collar is entirely too popped. It's the middle of the night, at least, so his sunglasses are on his head instead of on his face.
Tsubasa thrusts out a hand in front of Ichika, stopping her in her tracks. The reason they stop her, though, it's --
"Fuck do you want, Yasuda-san?" And Ichika can probably hear the tightness in their throat, brave and blustering as they are.
Hajime pushes up from the wall, strolling forward a few steps. "Ehhh? Do I know you?" He asks, before, hands on his hips, he leans forward and scrutinises them. Faux-recognition flashes over his face, a second later: "Oh, shit, Tsubaki-chan! The hag's back! Didn't realise you ruined your tits since I dropped your ass. What is this, like... a cry for help?" Tsubasa's teeth grit, their face growing taut.
Hajime runs his fingers through his hair, looking back to Eiji. "Man. Can't even walk home these days," he sighs, as if it were a coincidence they ran into each other, tonight. "You think you're headin' to a concert, and you end up runnin' into your ex..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika nods along. Low voice is helpful. "...I guess it would be, huh?" Ichika knows Tsubasa's history there, after all. "Cool." That it's 'not bad'. And the Death Boss, well, "Right... They seem really sincere about that. Though I think they wish they could practice more music and fewer poses..."
She doesn't notice a problem until Tsubasa throws out their hand. The tightness in their throat makes it plain. "What's--"
Ichika turns her head, and sees forward. She ses Hajime first, and her expression turns to anger--and then she sees the guy beside him. The guy she knows very, very well.
Eiji.
"..."
Ichika freezes on the spot; her breath catches short. A mix of emotions floods through her, and she finds not all of them are as comfortable as the hatred she told herself she would feel.
Her hand shakes at her side. She says nothing to Yasuda.
"Hajime-kun," says Eiji, where he turns from the wall and steps forward. "Watch your language. We're in mixed company."
A smile--but there's something behind it. It looks genuine enough, except for the hungry way he looks Ichika up and down, a poorly concealed intensity in his eyes that belies his calm and easy words. He drinks in everything of her appearance one detail at a time.
"Ichika," he says, and he doesn't use an honorific this time. "...You did bleach your hair. You look different..."
"Is it fun?" he wonders. "Being 'wild'?"
"...I would hope you're enjoying it."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Ahh, right, right, that's your woman," Hajime sighs, straightening up as he rubs the back of his head. "Sorry 'bout that, Eiji-kun!"
Tsubasa's grimace grows three sizes as they realise that several terrible things have happened in succession.
1) That's HIM,
2) He's FRIENDS WITH HAJIME, and
3) They're RIGHT HERE.
Tsubasa isn't entirely thinking, when they step in front of Ichika, aside from the fact that they can't stand the way he's looking at her. (The way Hajime scrutinised them... it's harder to put a pin in that.) "Fuck off," they issue, to Eiji, though it's not difficult to tell that they're near tears, either. "Scum like you ain't welcome here."
Interesting that they'd call him scum, when their multicoloured hair and deep tan put against his nicely-pressed outfit tells a different story.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika doesn't move. She barely breathes. She is entirely frozen for the next few moments, caught between feelings and under Eiji's gaze. He would've said he knew her better than anyone. ...Part of her wishes she weren't showing so much skin, all of a sudden.
Tsubasa steps in front of Ichika, and Eiji lifts an eyebrow. He glances to Hajime. "It's fine," Eiji assures his friend. "But it seems it got us off on the wrong foot."
He smiles at Tsubasa.
"No," he answers.
"...How about that?" he prompts. "What now?"
"I'm not going anywhere until i have a talk with Ichika. ...She misses me like I miss her. Right?"
"D-don't..."
Ichika manages to find a word, "Don't."
"You'll want to speak up," he encourages, and steps right up to Tsubasa, looking down.
There are people inside some of the storefronts. Some of them are looking at the confrontation now.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa's hands curl into fists, beside them. "I'll tell you what now, you fucking asshole --"
"Oh, that's a riot," Hajime smirks, hand to his hip. "You're telling him? You're real scary now, huh? Don't mind her," he waves Tsubasa off, speaking for them as effortlessly as Eiji does Ichika. "She's not that tough, and she doesn't even want you to know how she's really frightening. Look, just show the world how ugly she is --"
He's the one who makes the first move, stepping up to them and snatching the wig from their head. "Man!" He exclaims, as their eyes widen, and the step back they take as their hands come up to cover their head almost collides them with Ichika. "I was really taking pity on you back then!"
Tsubasa's hair isn't really bleached white; it isn't really purple, or green, or cyan, or pink, or any of the other colours which streak through that bleach. It makes sense, thinking logically -- it would take way too much effort to re-dye it, every day. But what's underneath there...
The scarring across their skull is so heavy, hair barely grows on the right side of their head, poking through only in the barest scraps and patches, like a doll picked clean by an unkind owner. What brown hair they still have is clipped to their skull, so it won't get in the way.
It is ugly. And Hajime knows just how hard that is.
Everything's pounding in their throat, as they look through their fingertips at Eiji. This isn't how it went in their head at all -- when they fantasised about stabbing him in the dead of night. They were cool. They protected the Boss from the person who ruined her life.
They certainly weren't crying.
"Fu--- FUCK YOU!" They yell, their voice reaching a whining pitch, focusing on Eiji instead of the boy tormenting them. "You think I don', don't get what you're doin'?! Puttin' words in her mouth and her head!"
They draw a fist back, and slam it into Eiji's face, all fury and no grace --
-- and then they grab Ichika by the hand, and start running in the other direction.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"So hostile," Eiji answers. "Do you think that will make her feel better?"
Hajime smirks, and Eiji just shakes his head. He watches Tsubasa, as their hair and scalp are revealed. It's a dismissive thing, though; he's looking, but only briefly, only enough to acknowledge as if something unimportant has entered his frame of reference. He looks back to Ichika again.
Ichika stumbles back despite herself as Tsubasa almost runs into her. "No," she starts, "Don't--don't talk to them like--"
She wants so badly to be ready. To be able to stand up to him on her own. But this isn't like it was back in that strange place.
"I guess I can't deny your passion, Hajime-kun," Eiji says with a sigh.
They shout, and Ichika stammers, "N-no!"
Is it how these guys are treating Tsubasa? ..Is it Tsubasa trying to hit him? Is it just everything about this moment?
Eiji casually sidesteps the punch directed for him as Ichika, dead weight for a moment, feels her arm wrench before she remembers she has to move with it and starts running with Tsubasa.
But Tsubasa might hear it, as they leave.
"See, Hajime-kun? ...She wants me back. You saw how she looked at me. She couldn't take her eyes off..."
Ichika runs with Tsubasa, for a little while. Until they're around another corner at the least. Back on the road to the dorm, instead of in the alley.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa's stomach twists, as Eiji turns those questions onto them. They bark back, "You're hostile!", but they have no time to extrapolate on that line of thought.
"She was askin' for it," Hajime asides, to Eiji, as he sighs. He's far too casual about that. ... he does not give their wig back.
The horror and panic in Tsubasa's chest and throat and gut do very little to make them an effective combatant, but they at least manage to get Eiji to step aside, to get a little space between him and them so that they can grab Ichika and run.
"Oh, for real, you heard her tellin' the hag to lay off you," Hajime agrees with Eiji, as they flee. "Hah, Tsubaki-chan just wishes I'd take her back... I ain't runnin' a charity!"
Tsubasa keeps running down that road a good ways, but, frankly speaking, Ichika could run longer than they can. They're good at a sprint -- they have to be, given how often they run from the cops -- but they're just not the kind of sporty, outdoorsy person who can sustain a sprint like that. Eventually, they have to let Ichika's hand go, hands grasping at their knees as they double over, breath heaving.
And heaving, and --
They grab onto a fence, and just barely manage to hurl over the edge into someone's flowerbed instead of right onto the street.
"Fuck," they curse, breath hitching with more tears. "Shit. Fuck."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Eiji is civilized, to look at him. Of course, there's civilization in Hajime's cruelty, too--'civilized' things that people can do that aren't very civil at all. Tsubasa may bark back, but Eiji just keeps his cool.
Whatever Eiji says next to Hajime is lost to the ache of muscle and the rush of hot air that comes of trying to run.
Ichika could've run longer... physically. But physicality isn't her problem at the moment. She stumbles and hits the ground hard all in a pile. "Aaaah...," she breathes, and hears Tsubasa cursing. "I..."
Ichika's arms shake, but she starts to push herself back up. "...Come on," she says. "Come on. Let's go." She walks over unsteadily, and offers her hand to them.
She isn't crying. But her eyes might as well be looking towards another planet, through Tsubasa as much as at them.
"...Can't stay here."
Her stockings are torn; her knee is bloody. She doesn't seem to have noticed.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa's breathing is ragged, unsteady, and rapid, clutching at the fence like it's the only thing keeping them up, because it is. "S-sorry," they choke out, and it hurts more than it ought to, knowing they ought to apologise much more profusely.
But -- her hand -- they take it, pushing themself back up and continuing down the path... if slower than they were.
"Sorry," they choke out, again, as they lead her on towards the dorm, makeup ruined by tears and worse. Their scars are blatant, on their head; unlike the ones which are visible, they don't bother applying concealer, and so their tan -- something which doesn't sink into scar tissue at all -- only makes it more obvious, like some horrific cancerous growth.
"I'm -- really sorry."
Who are they apologising to?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika's breathing is rapid, but not ragged. Perfect, normal. She's normal about it. And Tsubasa is apologizing, and--
"Don't," Ichika starts immediately, shakes her head. "...It's fine," she manages instead. It's difficult to let go of their hand, once she has it back. And her own makeup is... still normal.
"It's not like that."
"I don't..."
She doesn't finish the sentence.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Sorry --"
Something in being told not to apologise (apologising is pointless after what you did) just makes Tsubasa apologise again, though they manage to choke it down, at least, when Ichika tells them it's fine. "'Kay."
They're not letting her hand go, either. What if they let her go, and he grabs her...?
It's not like that...
Thinking about what she means by that just makes them choke up more.
They just squeeze her hand, in what they hope is something reassuring. "Lessgetchu back," they manage to choke out, downright pitiful. "Safe there." At least... there are other girls living there.
... but Tsubasa isn't a girl, so Ichika's going to have to be the one to figure out how to sneak them in. She can't just leave them at the gates when they're out there...
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"We have to...."
Tsubasa doesn't apologize again. They just say 'kay'. So Ichika doesn't finish what she was going to say immediately. Instead, she keeps going, and it is reassuring, that squeeze. "...Yes," Ichika answers.
If Tsubasa has the presence of mind, she might notice; Ichika sounds like she did when she first got to Kasugayama. Her rougher speech has been ablated away like armor sheared by heavy fire.
"You too," she says.
Tsubasa isn't a girl, but Ichika is practiced at this. She leads them to the back, where they'll go in through a side door instead of the main door, by the stairs.
Ichika will lead both of them to her dorm--a bed, a desk, some posters on the wall, some cutouts from fashion magazines and other girly things. ...Blankets and a futon in the corner, for when she doesn't want to use the bed, but currently put away.
"..."
When she closes the door behind herself, she leans on it, staring into nothing in particular for a long few moments.
"Have to..."
"Have to be normal about it," she murmurs.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
They don't... deserve that, but they'll let Ichika lead them in through the back paths, anyway.
Tsubasa collapses, on the floor beside the bedding, once they get inside. Their knees splay, to either side of them, as they bury their face in their hands.
"I," they choke out, "embarrassed you, right? Fuck, I'm so stupid. I should have known. Made you look so bad out there, I -- I didn't listen -- please forgive me!"
There's nothing for it; they have to plant their hands on the floor, lift themself up on their knees and press their forehead to the ground, in an act of dogeza fit for the houses of samurai.
It's, like, the least normal thing they could do right now.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Tsubasa collapses, and Ichika looks down at them dully for a moment. ...It should amke it easier, focusing on Tsubasa's feelings instead of her own. But it doesn't exactly. No, it...
"No," Ichika says simply, and shakes her head. "You didn't embarrass me. You didn't make me look bad."
It is very... not normal. But Ichika doesn't panic from it.
"..."
She isn't sure what to do with it, but...
"I couldn't protect you from him," she says. "So I don't know why..."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa doubles over, their hands grasping, futile, at their head. No, that's -- Ichika's different, so -- but ---
"H-he took it," Tsubasa chokes on the context, as jagged as Ichika is normal, "again, in f-front of everyone and, I fucked up, you said no and I didn't listen I, again, I, I'm dirt, I'm worse than dirt!"
They're probably not the first person to say something like that.
"I was," they start, still quite blubbery. "I was s'posed to..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Hold on," Ichika says then. She shakes her head, and pushes off the door, going to her dresser. She pulls something out of the top drawer--a winter hat. Subdued colors, a dark green, not especially gendered. Just a hat. She offers it to Tsubasa.
"...I didn't want you to hit him," she says, remembering. "I didn't want you to get in trouble. I didn't want the other one to treat you like that..."
She keeps holding out the hat. "...You can't protect me from my own feelings," she says quietly.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Just a hat...
When they look up to see that, they take it, gingerly, and ruin it by putting it on their head. ... but once the truth's been hidden away, they at least don't need to clutch their head so much. "T-thank you," they mutter, shifting on the ground, pulling their knees up to their chest and hugging them to themself.
"Wasn't my place," they admit, dismally, though whether they're still entirely speaking to Ichika is still up for debate. "Sorry."
But... her feelings... Tsubasa has a sinking feeling, in their gut. "What's that?" They ask the floor, rather than looking up to her.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Maybe she has a spare wig lying around the room somewhere, but Ichika can't remember at the moment. Her mind feels sluggish. Everything feels completely deliberate--like she has to remember to make each step as she does. ...at least she remembered to turn on a light when she came in.
The bars on the windows are too dull to reflect much of that light.
"There are a lot of things," Ichika says, still in that soft voice she used to use, "That I didn't want."
Tsubasa has a sinking feeling, but Ichika's feeling... floats.
The blood on her knee has mostly dried, the ruined stocking studded with a little asphalt still. The slim line of skin visible at her thighs is almost bloodless, by contrast, pale.
"...I hate him," she says, dully. "For what he did."
"But that's not...."
"That's not the only thing I felt."
"The way he looked at me, I... I remembered. How gentle he could be. How he used to touch me."
"I wanted everything to be okay again. For it to be... normal. Like he wanted."
"It was repulsive. It was... attractive. He was so reasonable, so calm..."
Ichika's voice cracks very slightly, "And I feel--I feel so dirty, the way he looked at me. I have to--" She crosses her arms, but her fingers and her nails are already starting to dig into her skin.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I -- get it," and it hurts, choking that out, despite Hajime's naked contempt. "Only reason I -- I could talk shit is -- I know he ain't runnin' a charity."
... they heard that, huh.
They at least manage to look at Ichika, again, the discarded partner to the one still very much in danger of being swept right back up. They see her arms cross -- see her fingers dig into her skin. "Hey," they start, unsure, for a moment.
"H--hey!"
They push themself up, stumbling over to grasp her hands, to try and stop her from skinning herself. (Why that's the horrific thought that pops into their head, they'll never know.) "Boss," they say, in front of her, and it feels all the worse to look her in the eyes here. "Boss, don't hurt yourself. Don't do his dirty work. I saw it, okay? I saw it, the fuckin' -- possessive creep shit. He oughtn'a even looked at you."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Charity," Ichika repeats dully. "Him I almost could've hit. I just... didn't. I couldn't move."
They must've heard that. Ichika did, too, but... It's hard to forget any of it, at the moment.
She doesn't notice what she's doing until Tsubasa stumbles up and takes her arms. Ichika blinks twice, looking down at Tsubasa. "...You..."
"...Right," Ichika answers, and looks down at her hands. Don't do his dirty work, they say. "I just--"
"It's in my skin," she says. "It's in my clothes. I have to... I have to get out of these clothes."
Possessive creep deal. Shouldn't have looked at her.
Ichika's hand shakes when she looks at it. "What if he's right?" she asks. "What if..."
"What if I'm just his forever? What if I can't be free if I don't--"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I did hit him back, once," Tsubasa admits. "... when I left. H-he said he left me, but I..." ... does it really matter what happened, though? If Hajime's told everyone he dumped them, that's as good as true. "... anyway, he weren't in our face like that fuck was. Had to... get him to back off so we could get out of there."
They were worried about him touching Ichika, in other words.
But... her clothes are ruined. Tsubasa's about to offer to go take a hike for a bit so she can get changed when she keeps going, when she asks --
"He ain't right," Tsubasa insists, hotly, and they make themself weave their fingers between Ichika's to hold them properly, terrifying as that is. "People don't -- belong to people, maybe we as a society are pretty slack on human rights violations but I'm pretty sure that's one of 'em." They've been reading about the misdeeds of Japan, but this is not about that. "He was just tryin' to get in your head, puttin' you down, askin' you questions so you'd have to answer 'em in your head, speakin' for you 'cause he's a piece of shit who doesn't care 'bout what you gotta say. I saw it, I saw all his dirty fuckin' shit."
... they'd love to just volunteer to smash his face in, but Ichika said she didn't want that. And... even if she did, could they, really? He defeated their efforts... without putting any effort in at all.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...You left him," Ichika says. "If he lies about it, he lies about it. But you know what's true." A pause. "...Yeah. I guess..."
Get him to back off. "I. ...I wanted him to touch me. But I didn't want him to get near me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to do... anything..."
Maybe her clothes aren't ruined forever, but they need washing at the least. She needs to be out of them anyway. But before she can start that, Tsubasa weaves fingers in hers. "That's..."
"I always used to let him," she says. "It was easier."
"..."
"Human rights, huh...?"
"I just..."
She shakes her head, and starts to pull back, tries to sit down on her chair so she can start tugging off her stockings. "Ugh, it's sticky, it's--"
Pause. "..Is that blood? When did I..."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Shit, man, I really don't," Tsubasa says, when Ichika says that they know what's true.
But Ichika wanted him to touch her, and Tsubasa exclaims: "Well I didn't want him to touch you!" They deflate a moment later, though, looking away in the wake of their own selfish outburst. "... sorry. I get that's not the point here. But... it's how I feel."
Tears swim in their eyes again. "It's only easier 'cause it's the option that didn't end up with you hurt," they sulk, releasing Ichika's hands so they can rub at their face. "... least... that's how it was for me. Like... one time he grabbed the back of my head and slammed my face into the cupboard after I talked to one of his guy friends at a party... but he was always happy to let me go talk with the girls. Uh, until he started thinkin' I was foolin' around in the other room, anyway..."
Tsubasa looks down, at the stockings. "You, uh... you fell down... think it was my fault, couldn't keep runnin'. Sorry." And then, "uh," they grunt, and turn away from her.
"Got a place in here I can hide out for a few minutes, or..."
It's weird to make her change with someone who is at least tangentially close to a guy in the room!
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Fair enough," Ichika says. Tsubasa doesn't, do they? ...Still. They didn't want him to touch her, and Ichika nods. "...I appreciate that," she says. "I think, if he'd touched, me, I..."
"I'd have been trapped, or I'd have hit him. I don't know which."
Easier... "It wasn't like that," Ichika says. "...He'd hold onto me a little too tight, sometimes. Grab a little too hard. But he didn't hit me, or knock me into things, until... Until he did."
"It was more... he'd just... find ways to tell me he was unhappy. And I found ways to make him happier."
A shake of her head. "It's okay," she says. "I just didn't notice..."
Pause. "Yeah. I've got..." She gestures to the bed, to the dresser, then to a folded partition that she finally remembers. "...I can use that."
It doesn't bug her too much, but it clearly bugs them, and that's...
That's kind. She doesn't really want to be seen with all this in her skin.
"I just need a minute," she clarifies. "So I can get my shower stuff. I..."
"I still feel dirty. But I'll try not to scrub off my skin or something."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Shit," Tsubasa swears, when Ichika lays out the options. Not that he doesn't deserve to get punched by Ichika, but...
That's a hell of a coin flip.
"Yasuda-san started out like that," Tsubasa says, folding their own arms, now. "Like... my father. Think that's why it was so, uh, why I put up with it... wasn't weird to me." They're trying not to say it was normal. "But like, he was pushy, just pushing me around like that, shoving me, slamming me into shit, but... when I told him it was over, he... he just straight-up punched me, then, you know, closed fist, everything. Didn't expect it then, either... stupid."
Both Hanzou and Hajime got them, with that one, and it tastes bitter in their mouth.
Ichika has a partition, though. "Oh," they say, glancing back. "Cool. No problem. ... I get that. I..." But looking at their own feelings, their ugliness exposed to the world, makes them feel like throwing up again. "I get that," they repeat, lamely, as if it was what they were going to say.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Why does she have one of those? ...It's pretty. Other reasons, too, but Ichika tries to keep some pretty things in her room, just to remind herself she can.
Still, "...Right." Shit indeed.
But Yasuda... So that's how it was. "That makes sense," Ichika says. "I think now... Maybe he was building up to it. Or maybe it was a one-off. I don't know... I just know it didn't... come out of nowhere. I could... kind of see, things. Looking back."
A look over at Tsubasa. "That sucks," she says. "It's not stupid. People who are supposed to care about you aren't supposed to hit you."
"...The uh, the showers here are... OK. Maybe I'll go out and have a decent bath sometime. Maybe..."
She looks down. "I figured you would," Ichika says then. "...But..."
"Thank you," Ichika says, as she stands up and unfolds the partition to get it between the two of them.
"That is..."
"...I don't want to be alone. And you came with me."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Wasn't a one-off," Tsubasa says, dismally. "Woulda kept goin' if he could. Got worse..." Which 'he' are they referring to? Perhaps it doesn't matter.
"I thought it was my fault," they admit, glancing down at their folded arms. "... since I pissed him off. He... was really caring when I wasn't a dumbass... shit, he's the only guy who'd even look at an ugly girl like me that way."
Yeah, that's definitely one of those lines they've heard before.
They take a minute to try and get a grip on themself, their own grip tightening. The showers are okay... cool. "Hope it's warm," they can offer that much. "Eh, not that it's that bad right now, gettin' pretty hot..."
(Tsubasa's used to making do with cold water whenever the heater decides it's a primadonna day.)
"Said I'd watch yer back," Tsubasa says, shifting on their feet. "Just... tell me what you need. Okay? Just tell me, and I'll... I'll look out for ya."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Probably," Ichika agrees. "Keep me in line..."
Ichika's invisible behind the partition; there's not nearly enough light to make some kind of outline even as thin as it probably is. There's a little hiss of pain, presumably when something passes over her scraped knee. But she mostly listens.
"Not a girl," Ichika says. "...And not true. You weren't a dumbass about it. He was an asshole." A pause. "...I get it, though. I still think..."
"I still think if I could've just been normal about it, maybe..."
She sighs. "Thanks though. We'll see. The water's usually fine."
Tsubasa tells her, and... Mm. "...Can you stick around?" she asks. "Just for tonight."
"You can have the bed," she says. "I've got a comfy setup over here. ...I'd... rather you take the bed."
"I think... that's what I need." Pause. "I'll live with it for long enough to shower. But other than that..."
"Just... Don't want to be alone."
"...I hate being alone," she says quietly.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Ichika, at least, is firm in the face of the disrespect Tsubasa was facing. "Yeah," they say, their voice a touch ragged. "Like -- we fucked up a good thing -- right?"
Maybe if they weren't where they are right now, their heart pounding, their throat tight, they might have been able to say something about how it wasn't good. ... but that's just not where they're at, right now. And if they're not there... Ichika mustn't be, either.
"Sure," they say. "Won't run out or nothin'. I'll, uh, get the futon set up." They don't know why something else strikes them, as they offer to do that, either. Something which feels less outrageous, now, than it did the first time they ended up keeping Ichika company like this.
"If.. you need someone with you, y'know... that's cool," they say, even though it's never been cool before. "You don't gotta... sleep wherever. Know it helps, so..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"It's how it feels," Ichika says. "...Sometimes." She isn't ready to say it was all bad right now, either. Not with how she felt earlier. ...She'll go see Mahiro tomorrow, maybe. Try to forget all about how she felt earlier. But for now...
"Thanks," Ichika says first. Getting to set it up. And something that feels--
Ichika remembers, of course. She pauses, and is glad her expression isn't so easy to read, on the other side like this.
"Oh..."
"...Yes," Ichika says quietly. "It does help."
"It would..."
"It would help."
She has a feeling it might help both of them, with that much.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa says, "sometimes."
... they thought they were over it, but they were really just lying to themself.
Tsubasa doesn't even realise Ichika has anything to grapple with, though, so they don't even notice that's why she's trailing off. They figure it's just -- weird. Since they're not usually a very touchy-feely person.
"Cool," they affirm, though they avert their gaze from the screen, too. They know they're acting weird. They're sure they're freaking her out, even though they're trying to help. But... "If it's you, it's cool." They can be sure of that much.
... and it will help.