2025-08-05: The Devil's in the Details
- Log: The Devil's in the Details
- Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Hirasaka - Apartment
- OOC Date: 2025-08-05
- IC Date: Thursday, June 21 2012
- Summary: Ichika comes to visit Tsubasa, who took the day off of school to recover, and tells them about her appointment with Julian. Tsubasa can tell just why she's upset, and it's not difficult for them to sympathise with her trauma. But speaking of their own pain -- that's more difficult, even though it's dug up wounds of their own. Ichika learns some important things about Tsubasa... and Tsubasa learns a secret Ichika must keep hidden.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa wasn't at school today -- but that's not unexpected, they sent a message to the gang to let them know...
> wont be in 2day
> dwai they cant give me shit i have a note
> not like they can do much when i dont lmao
> lance is ok now
... and then they just... went back to bed.
"Don't see how this is helpin' me," they grouse, at one point, to Lance. "Fuckin' borin'." And Lance's tail thumps on the futon, because she thought Tsubasa was GONE FOREVER. As far as she knows, Tsubasa lying in bed all day hugging her is just the official apology letter to Lance.
(In some ways, it kind of is. Sorry, Lance.)
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika was at school, of course. She was a little late, coming all the way from Iwatodai, but she was there. But earlier in the day:
> that's fine
> rest up that's important
And then a few minutes later:
> I'll come by later
But eventually, sometime after school, there's a knock at Tsubasa's door. "Hey," Ichika says, sounding more or less like herself. "It's me."
The Boss!
Ichika waits for Tsubasa at the door. It takes a minute, sure, but she doesn't mind that; she takes the opportunity to get out a compact mirror and look herself over.
Her uniform is as normal, of course. Suitably tough and intimidating. Her makeup is great, freshly applied after school, dark shadow, deep liner, and black lips all just as they should be. Except...
None of it hides how red and puffy her eyes are. Ichika has been crying rather a lot today, and while it was a while ago now, it's still plain.
She's probably still checking herself out when Tsubasa andor Lance appear.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Bang, bang. "Uh, shit," Tsubasa stirs from their doze, realising, too late, that later is NOW. They raise their voice to call out: "Comin'!!"
(The walls are thin enough that it should be pretty easy to hear.)
Checking themself out is a lost cause, at this point, though they at least throw a wig on. What that means isn't obvious until Tsubasa opens the door, though -- still in their nightclothes, chest unbound, and scars blatant against their tan line because they never bothered to layer on all that concealer they need to look normal.
Their own eyes are looking kind of red, too. Don't worry about it.
"Sorry," they say, as they step back to let her in. (Lance will let her in only after she passes her challenge of petting her.) "I'm a mess, too, so don't even worry about it... took Lance out at like four in the mornin', so no one was even up yet." And it says a lot that they would sneak out like that, too exhausted to get ready for the day. ... it says a lot that they took Lance out at four am, too, because Lance goes out when they wake up. "Was gonna get ready before you rocked up, but... slept in, I dunno."
Translation: they're not sleeping well.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"OK!"
Ichika waits. She waits, until Tsubasa shows up--and she doesn't so much as blink at Tsubasa's state. She's not especially surprised they wouldn't be at their best--hospital, possible concussion... Well, it all makes sense. And the red eyes, too.
"It's fine," Ichika says, and if she's still a little more delicate than usual perhaps she can be excused for not being ruder. Then Ichika leans down and pets Lance. "You're a good girl!" she assures her, and pets her a little more. Then she comes in.
"If you were up that early I'm not surprised," Ichika answers about sleeping in. "It's cool, you need your rest. I can walk her again for you before I go later, if you want."
"So how are you feeling?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Lance borks, happily, when Ichika declares she's a good girl. This is amazing?! She does a little dance on her paws, patta-patta-pat on the ground as her tail thumps against the doorframe.
"C'mere, Lance, you're blockin' the door," Tsubasa calls to her, though they're in good humour about it. They might even have smiled briefly. Behold the healing power of dog.
They hook a left, from the door, to go sit on the stairs; their shoebox apartment is still too small to really fit two chairs in, it's fine. Ichika may note on the desk that the lists of numbers, names, dates and earmarks have changed since last she glimpsed them. Even when they're this stuffed, they're still gripped by that mystery, huh...
Tsubasa pauses for a moment, though, when Ichika offers. "If it's not too much trouble," they say, propping a foot up on the bannister. (They're a delinquent teen, they can't just sit correctly.) Ichika may note that they go to lean against the wall, only to hiss though their teeth and straighten up off of it.
So, how they're feeling is...
"Like shit," Tsubasa sums it all up, shrugging a shoulder. "You?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Amazing!!! Ichika smiles down at puppy. That little dance...
But Ichika does want to step inside, so sh has to stop watching eventually. She notices Tsubasa's good humor about Lance--and is glad, not for the first or last time, that Lance came to them.
Ichika looks at the numbers--but doesn't really look at them, because she doesn't understand then. Ichika takes a seat too, and it's fine that it's cramped. She doesn't mind that. She's been in much more uncomfortable places with worse company.
She smiles though. "No trouble. It's nice to see Lance around."
But leaning against the wall is trouble. "...Sure you don't want the chair?" she offers.
Still, Tsubasa is feeling like shit. "I'm..."
"I'm OK," Ichika says, and she knows that's going to sound like bullshit so she follows up, "I uh..."
"I've been doing this counseling stuff with Marlowe-sensei."
"...We talked a little about... Eiji, today."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"It's cool," Tsubasa says, with their usual gravelly stoicism. "Chair's worse for it." They pause, though, realising that Ichika wouldn't necessarily know why, given she wasn't there. "Uh... fuckers were throwin' Molotovs, got my back roasted a bit. Or -- did I mention that last time? Memory's a bit fucked, sorry, Boss."
But Ichika talks about where she's at, and Tsubasa frowns, leaning forward to sling an elbow on their knee instead. "Shit," they say, though it's a compassionate sentence in this particular context. "You cool?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
If the chair is worse for it, then Ichika can relent. There's no point in insisting in that case. But she does know--except that she's not supposed to know. "Ah," she answers. "Molotovs. ...That's where the fire came from?" She has to sound it out; she's not loving lying about it, but... At the same time, if Tsubasa remembered half the shit they'd seen with her, it would be a different story. "It's OK," she says. "I knew you got burned, anyway." She makes a face. "...Sorry."
Tsubasa leans forward and checks on her, and Ichika is glad of that, but, "It's OK. ...I'm OK. It was the good kind of talk. I got to... figure out my feelings, a little. Or well, that's the homework, I guess. Starting to work on it..."
"...He said some stuff that made sense. And he listened. We got on it because... Uh, that kid you helped. Seeing him and all that blood, I..."
"Well. It kind of reminded me of..."
A shake of her head. "He said... he disagreed with me. He doesn't think I'm awful, for how I feel. ...I'm gonna see him again sometime." But, says the closing of her eyes, "...Was rough, though. Crying like that... it's embarrassing."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Uh, yeah," Tsubasa says, shrugging again. "Seems like it was their 'thing', since there was those makeshift explosives, too... uh, that and dressing up in weird costumes. Like, this chick wearing cat ears and a furry sweater, or this other one in a full gothic lolita get-up, some guy phoning it in with just a bag over his head, or this other girl dressed up like a fuckin' ogre... it was weird, though, that last one weren't runnin' with 'em. Maybe she got kicked out of the gang and had an," Tsubasa pauses, "a bone to pick."
They don't want to just invoke axes right now, particularly not ones being ground.
Tsubasa listens, as Ichika works through relating her therapy appointment. They don't maintain eye contact while she does, keeping their gaze around the level of her shoulder instead. (It's not that they find the subject difficult to look at. They just don't want to put pressure on her.) Therapy homework, huh...
They swallow down their feelings on that, since it seems like she's getting something out of it. ... hers is probably different, anyway.
"I mean," Tsubasa says, after they've left enough of a pause to make sure she's not about to trail off into another point, "I'll agree with him on that much. I don't reckon your feelin's're a jailable offence either. But, yeah... crying sucks."
Another pause. "It's cool. I blubbered on like a fucking moron when Dr. Inoue came around, too."
They're quiet, then, for a longer moment. Evaluating. It's not like they really covered this in sex ed, but girls talk, and for a long time they thought Tsubasa was a girl, too.
"... so," they start, a touch delicately, "there was a lot of blood, huh?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Oh, yeah..." Makeshift explosives. She remembers--she heard they weren't makeshift at all. But they mention the costumes, and Ichika wonders if that's just how they're justifying it, or if there really is some... Something, to that. She can't say they saw a demon, though. They mention the Ogre, and Ichika nods. "...I think she's cool," Ichika ventures.
But she does work through it; she appreciates the lack of pressure, puts her eyes anywhere but on Tsubasa's while she's working through it. And she doesn't trail into another point for now.
Instead, "...Yeah. I'm trying to remember that. 'You can't help how you feel', he said. ...I feel like I should be able to. But I'm trying."
Dr. Inoue, Tsubasa mentions. Ichika files that away. But she doesn't follow up immediately because of that delicate start, those words--
"...Yes," Ichika answers, and that haunted look returns to her if only for a few moments. "I don't... remember the details so well, from when they got me to the hospital. But I remember..."
"It hurt so much more than when he was hitting me. I felt like I was dying."
"But I didn't," she finishes simply, for as heavy as that statement feels in the moment. It prevents her continuing at first.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I mean," Tsubasa shrugs, "that chick in the cat getup wanted to claw my eyes out, and she kicked her ass. So yeah, she's cool." It's... kind of what happened? Is Tsubasa's brain just... justifying all the outrageous shit away?
Luckily, there's other shit to worry about right now.
"You can help what you do," Tsubasa shrugs. "Or what you don't do. But what you feel? I ain't so sure. Woulda said you can swallow just about anythin' and not bother with it, a while back, but... if you ignore what you want, maybe it's just gonna blindside you."
She doesn't remember the details, though.
...
"When I was in hospital," Tsubasa relates, and they're not looking at someplace other than Ichika's eyes for her comfort in this moment, "sometimes they'd be late on my meds, and I'd be lying there with this tube down my throat so they could keep my corpse breathing and I'd just think -- they fucked up."
Their fingers drum, absently, on their knee.
"Since I shoulda been in the morgue."
Why is their voice so raspy and gravelly, anyway? It does wonders for passing, but it's not the way a teenager's supposed to talk. Back then, breathing in smoke and flaming ash...
Skin isn't the only thing which can burn.
"Wasn't you who went," they say, shifting away from their own confession quickly. "And you didn't go to hospital this time, neither. Draw a line of best fit. That shit's correlated." They're bothered, so they forget not to use statistical analogies. Sorry, Boss. "You're always the survivor... that's the kinda thing I can see runnin' through your head. That off the mark?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
So Tsubasa does remember that part. ...Well, if that's how they remember it...
"...Mm." She nods. "Ignoring what you want... Yeah."
But Tsubasa relates their story, and Ichika nods. Late on their meds, and...
"..." She nods, wordlessly answering that particular feeling. She knows it. She can't voice it so well, but she knows it, even if she only hinted at it before.
Ichika's no expert on fire, but she imagines it's linked.
"...Yes," she says. "I remember..."
"Well. The part that isn't clear is the part where I went from the street to the hospital. After that, I remember really clearly."
"...Is that a math thing?" she wonders. Line of best fit. But, Tsubasa explains, and Ichika nods. "...That's not what I was thinking just now, but... it's something I've thought before."
"I'm glad you lived," she says. "...It's not fair," then, her shoulders sinking. "...He was angry at me."
She sighs, then. "But seriously... if not for how you've been there for me, I don't think I could've talked to him. Definitely not some other teacher."
"...And you saved me, back there. Even though you were having a rough time, too. So..."
"I hope you can feel better about living these days."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa shrugs, when Ichika asks whether they just invoked maths. And she talks about what she's thought, and they affirm: "Makes sense."
Ichika blames herself, though, and Tsubasa nods. "It ain't fair," they rumble, rather than telling her she oughtn't.
"But... that's cool. I'm glad you could talk about it. It's weird, with adults, but... some of them give a shit. Like, uh, Officer Shimizu took me home yesterday since they wanted to ring my father, but she was willin' to grab me instead... uh, told her what was goin' on." With their own violence, presumably.
"... in my head, it went way cooler," they add, glancing away. "Kinda made a huge mess of it... still good I was there, though. Uh... thanks for bringin' out some more hair the other day, by the way, like... you wouldn't believe it, but the day after that fuck stole mine the other one got set on fire." Their third, of course, was ruined by Hanzou already. They still haven't figured out how to make it better. ... or maybe they just haven't had the will.
"... I get that you'd rather it not be you here." It's another focus on Ichika, rather than answering her hopes directly. "But... I'm glad you made it, too."
Whether they feel particularly good about living is...
It's just the sort of thing where they have to press on.
... even though the bad times probably aren't going to stop any time soon.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
It does make sense. And it isn't fair.
"Right," Ichika says. "...Oh, yeah?" Shimizu. "That's good," Ichika says. "I'm glad she listened to you." Pause. "...And of course. ...It's fine. I mean... You're welcome."
Maybe that went cooler in Ichika's head, too.
It doesn't answer her hopes directly, no, but... "Mm. But thinking about it even for a second, it doesn't make sense, huh? ...It's not how it works."
A nod, then. Ichika looks around the room, her eyes settling on Lance for a few moments.
"...Most days," Ichika says, "So am I."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Cool," Tsubasa says, and it's fine, they won't tell anyone it didn't go the way Ichika imagined in her head.
They appreciate it, anyway.
"Yeah, that ain't life," Tsubasa agrees, when Ichika says that's not how it works. "Life's... you know, random. And you can make whatever sense out of it, but it's like seein' faces in clouds. Cloud don't give a shit."
Lance, on seeing Ichika look to her, picks herself up to go and nose at her hand for pets. And Tsubasa...
Tsubasa looks down at their knee, at their hand, at the scars there.
"Most day's the most anyone can ask," they shrug a shoulder, glancing over to her. "I'm satisfied by that. I'm..."
A mistake. But they won't say that. They close their eyes, instead. "It's hard. The hits keep comin'. And sayin' anythin' to anyone, y'know, I choke on it. I'm enough of an embarrassment already... y'know. No one wants to hear it. Y'know. If there weren't people who gave more of a shit than him, dunno how I'd go. But there's people who do... don't really get it, but there's people who do."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Lance comes over and Ichika pets her. Scritches at the ear, pets down the back. It's soothing. It's nice.
"Mm." Ichika thinks of how Tsubasa sees it, and considers them a little longer. She doesn't find there's something she can say, at first. But when Tsubasa is satisfied, Ichika gives a small, soft smile over to her friend.
It's small because she can guess Tsubasa isn't exactly at their best, even now. But it's where they can reach. Both of them.
It fades, when Ichika is more serious, "Yeah. And I'm one of them."
She pauses at that, looks down. "I know it's hard to say shit," she says. "But you don't embarrass me. I count on you. And you don't let me down."
"...We're friends, too. That means something."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Cool," Tsubasa says, again, softly. Ships have broken on cliffs less precarious than that word.
But that's right... Ichika's counting on them. They can't drop her, either. It'll get everywhere.
So they smile, looking over to her, because it's hard for her, too. "Yeah. Means a lot. I'm countin' on you too, Boss." Just...
"Might take me a minute to be with you." Their throat's closing up. They try to say it, anyway. "But I'm real glad you're gettin' through it. Sorry... sorry you had to see me like that. It was the worst thing that coulda happened, day after." The day after Eiji and Hajime crawled out of the hole they live in, that is.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika might be able to manage the work of a lighthouse, for the moment. She's still pretty rough herself, but she wants to reach out.
It would get everywhere.
When they smile, it's easier to keep her own. But...
"That's OK," Ichika assures Tsubasa, her expression growing more serious. "You're in a rough spot. ...I don't mind seeing you bad. You've seen me bad, too. Just the other night..." The same thing, but her part in it. "I know it's bad. So just take whatever time you need. School'll keep, or whatever."
"...And if you do need to talk some more about it, I'm around. It's..."
"It was rough on me too," she admits. "I still feel pretty raw, even after things went OK with Marlowe-sensei."
"But I don't mind."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa agrees, vaguely.
And then, they sit in silence.
Not that it's total; Lance whines, ambling over to nose at Tsubasa's hand until they move it from their knee to her head. (Where it lies, still.)
It's so... thoughtless, huh? Turning to her covered with blood, like that.
Does a single synapse fire in your skull, or are you just stupid?
Think before you do something like that. You'll cause a scene.
The human body holds about five litres of blood. Did you know that?
Don't bother talking to her. She's not even here right now.
...
"His eyes."
Their throat is tight, but they choke the words out, anyway.
"He was awake. But he wasn't there. Like... too much valium."
They're not really looking at Lance.
"If I let him slip, he'd die. Guts all spilled out. Intestine's twenty feet long."
But at least no one can see they're pale.
"If I'd listened to him, I woulda known what to do. If I'd bothered to remember fuckin' anythin'."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika is quiet, too. She's still healing from earlier, and from the time before that, and from the day before. The fact that she can put on a brave face now is partly because she's already cried herself out for the day.
But...
Tsubasa speaks up, and Ichika only almost misses it. Almost. She turns towards them. The words, choked out...
"..."
"...That makes sense," Ichika says, though thinking of it again is a little nauseating. "He was conscious... Shock can knock you out, I guess, but it doesn't always. It didn't me, for a while."
His guts. Ichika's stomach churns a little more.
"...What person our age would know that stuff?" she asks. "You and Kashihara-kun did great. He lived, right? You held him on until help came."
He...
Her memory is still dulled. She doesn't recall. "...Who's 'he'?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Kiyoshi."
Never heard of him.
"Seki."
Oh.
That's not their father's name. So, it must be...
"Figured out I was stupid. So I didn't want shit to do with it no more. Selfish, huh."
"Studyin' for his entrance exams now. Gonna be a doctor. Help people. Not like me. I can't even do what I act like I do. Tried to fight. Less than worthless. I can't do shit."
"And they all -- saw me. Gave your little sister a lot of rope, just 'cause she's your sister, but that's too far. Fuck, not just her, though... every fucking gawker knows I'm hideous now. He didn't even have to do it this time. Least when he did it, it was at Sevens. Can't go back there."
"Can't go forward. Can't do shit, since apparently if I get knocked out too soon I become a fuckin' invalid. Can't get back at them. Can't do anything."
"And the fire. The fuckin' fire."
"The hospital."
"I went crazy again. Thought it was two years ago. Thought the fucking Joker Killer showed up. Made a complete idiot of myself."
"And now when I move wrong, when I lean wrong. Like I'm right out of my body. Like I'm back there."
The words don't trail off; they just stop.
They haven't moved for a long time.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ah. Their brother. Ichika nods, at that. Then, "..."
Selfish, they call it. And their brother of course is going to help people, while Tsubasa... "Not true," Ichika says. Then she listens, instead of arguing at first. She listens, and--
"...Wait," she says.
"What do you mean, crazy?" Ichika asks, looking over at Tsubasa. "The Joker Killer was there. Yeah, everybody wants to pretend otherwise. The school wants to say it was some gangs, the news. Even Marlowe-sensei was supposed to say it's 'under control.'"
"...But I saw him myself. Same as you."
"...it's no shame not to be able to fight something like that. He's a damned serial killer."
"Maybe you got mixed up," she allows, "But you're not crazy. Not about that."
"He was there."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"You're wrong!" Tsubasa yells, and yells with such ferocity that it might be stunning, after such a monotone delivery. Their hand snatches back from Lance, to grasp onto the side of the stair, the bannister. "It's just 'cause we were talkin' about him!"
Their eyes managed to stay dry while they were dissociating, but tears spring to them, now. "Don't just try and make me feel better w-when I been hearin' shit! It's embarrassing enough my shit's flarin' up, it was supposed to be shit someone DID to me, but how can I believe it wasn't my fault when I really am fuckin' crazy?!"
They bury their face in a hand, exclaiming another muffled:
"Fuck!"
... a few days ago, Tsubasa said they really don't know what's true. But they knew the Joker Killer had attacked when Ichika brought Tsubasa the things and reassurance they needed; they were worried enough about it that they even explored telling a cop with her. What happened, after Ichika left...?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
The ferocity of that yell is stunning--Ichika doesn't flinch, but she does turn and stare. She sees them holding the bannister, sees tears start, and that accusation--
"I'm not," Ichika says, pushing herself to speak with more conviction than she entirely feels at the moment. ...Though she doesn't doubt what she saw. She just doesn't know why Tsubasa does all of a sudden.
Not wrong, not trying to make them feel better...
"I was there. I saw it. And you saw it, too. You thought so before, anyway."
"...Did the doctors feed you the line about it being 'gangs', or something? There's no gangs at Kasu that have land mines and axes."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"You weren't there! You weren't fuckin' there!" And Tsubasa's fervent belief is true, in their eyes. They knew who was in that basement; Ichika wasn't amongst them.
They grasp their face with their hands, elbows pressed to their knees, as Lance whines and paws at their leg.
"No way, fuck, I'm stable for -- for the fuckin' community, I'm not -- I'm not listenin' to those delusions, they'll figure out I'm still hung up on it, fuckin' electrocute my brain again, fuck..."
... they weren't just in hospital for their burns, back then.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Tsubasa's fervent belief... Because they didn't see her. Of course they didn't. Ichika could make it work. She looks at them grabbing their face, talks about delusions--
Ah. ...Electrocute their...
It's monstrous. Too monstrous. Ichika had thought to protect Ririka by not telling her, and has thus far been able to keep it generally quiet, but....
"Hey," Ichika says. "Hey," more firmly.
"...Paper bag on his head. Used a sword. Lots of fire. Girl in a white goth lolita dress. Had some kind of... axe thing. Woman with red and white spiked hair. Kashihara-kun and you, with the boy who got cut. The Death Boss, fighting on the front line. ...With me backing him up."
"In an ogre mask. ...Don't ask why the mask. It's just... it's a thing, right?"
"Where would I have gone, on the way downstairs, otherwise?"
"It's not a delusion. And if anybody comes near your brain with some zap machine I'll smash it. ...I was there. And so were you."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
What kind of monster... would do something like that?
This 'Dr. Inoue' of theirs... who is he?
Tsubasa shakes their head, as Ichika lists the details. People like that were all there, but --
But --
"You...?"
Tsubasa's anger is interrupted by shock, as their hands lower to gawk at Ichika. "But... the fuck were you hidin' that getup???"
Still, Ichika points out the logic, and Tsubasa can't find any holes in it. "You... were right behind me," they allow, grasping at their opposite arm with a hand. "But seriously, she didn't even sound like you... and..."
They bow their head in apology, as their arms fold across their chest, grasping their elbows. "I'm sorry, Boss!" They exclaim, and tragically have to stop to sniffle. "You were keepin' everyone together, gettin' in their way, kickin' their ass, and I was just screamin' and cryin' the whole time... fuck, you must be so disappointed in me."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika doesn't like him, whoever he is.
Shock. Ichika shrugs, at the matter of hiding it. "I just was," she says, because that's probably about good enough. She sure doesn't have an answer. And Ichika has succeeded, she thinks. Right behind them--
"...It's cool," Ichika says, and that word still holds a lot. "I was doing my best. But so were you. ...I couldn't beat them. But we saved the Death Boss, and you saved that boy. So we got enough."
"I'm not disappointed. I'm proud of you. Not everybody could've done that. ...I couldn't fight and help him--and even if I'd tried to help him... The blood would've..."
She shakes her head.
"Anyway we both did our part. That's what being a crew is about."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Ichika just was! Yeah, that's a logical answer, Tsubasa decides.
"So... I was backin' you up..." Tsubasa ventures, slowly. Ichika's proud of them... even though they felt so useless. They did pick the kid up... at least.
"O-okay," they nod, a touch shakily, reaching down to rub at Lance's chest as she paws at them again. "But man, you're somethin' else, Boss... when'd you get that strong? Shit, man."
They look down at Lance, frowning; it's even harder to tell, without their makeup at their shaved-or-scarred brows, but Ichika knows them pretty well.
"... but... that means Dr. Inoue lied to me." So it was him. "It's weird, like... I had this feeling... all've my therapy homework was about, uh, how I had to come to terms with what I did and learn better copin' whatevers and accept how my delusions were just crazy shit. But... I was never sure I was. That's why I kept writin' down -- all that shit behind you," they gesture, vaguely, to the paper. "It's... the shit in their spreadsheets and reports. Back at City Hall. Everythin' I remember, anyway. All the places the money was comin' from, the bits where it made no sense..."
They shake their head, looking down at Lance. "But even when I couldn't believe it -- I never thought, like -- Dr. Inoue was tryin' to lie to me. Just... the explanation he had. I thought I had to be, y'know, at least a little crazy to burn the office down? But if the Joker Killer really was there... like... I wonder if he knew."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
They were backing her up. "Yeah." Lance paws, and Ichika smiles down at the little dog. When did she get that strong, though...?
"...Hasn't been that long," Ichika answers, still not sure she can tell Tsubasa everything without it just failing to make sense. Still, she thinks about sharing more. So, "...It's how I got out, that other time I ran into Eiji."
This is true, at least.
But? Well, Ichika does know them well. "...Yeah, uh. Even mine's not really homework, he said he was gonna work it out with me, what I feel, why I feel it..."
So that's what it is. What they are. Spreadsheet numbers, report numbers... Places for money and money places.
"You've never been crazy to me," Ichika says simply. "You've said you were, sure. And you've freaked out some times. But no more than anybody else would."
"...Maybe he did. I don't wanna... get you mad, I guess, but I don't like the sound of it. Sounds like he was trying to convince you without even listening."
"...I can't stand that."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"So that's how... shit. Uh, but I guess you wanna keep... uh... the fact that you can kick so much ass under wraps, right? Like, with the cool getup?" Tsubasa's mind glances off of details they've sanded down, for a moment, until they settle on the same thing they've always been doing in the gang. But more! "I don't really get it, but... you didn't have anywhere to change while that creep was starin' at you, right?"
Tsubasa doesn't know a thing about supernatural spaces! They're doing the best they can!!
"They wanted me to say it," Tsubasa relates their idea of therapy homework, glum. "And mean it. Like... like the only way I'd get outta there was to see the sky was green. My father was always right, but it was nothin' compared to that. Prob'ly why Yasuda-san had such an easy run..."
But... Ichika didn't think they were crazy. "Okay," they nod, swallowing at that lump in their throat which they didn't notice lodging in there. "Thanks."
They scratch Lance's ears, and shake their head. "Nah, I... sorry I went off on you. Wasn't your fault, I just panicked. But man..." Tsubasa sighs, shoulders sinking. "Denji Inoue was supposed to be the best guy for this. If he was really lyin' for real... freaks me the fuck out."
Tsubasa gnaws at their lip, as they try to find words for the thing inside them. There's a long silence which speaks to how hard that is.
"... I feel really... small, right now. Is that weird? Like... like there's all this shit out here I can't fight, and... and the guy I thought was tryin' to help was makin' me crazy. Like... I'm the little fish... yeah?"
(As Ichika knows, the big fish eat the little fish.)
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Yeah," Ichika says. "It'd be a problem if the stuff I do like that got out. Since... it's not normal stuff." It's fine. More! "I... Yeah. I didn't."
But Tsubasa relates that gloomy idea, and Ichika can't stand it. "...I hate that," she says. "Yeah. Teaching you to believe what's obviously not true... That's messed up."
They apologize. Again. "...It's fine," Ichika says, accepting. But freaking them out? That's...
It's fair, really.
"Nah," Ichika says. "That's not... weird."
A pause. "...Well," she says, "You're not alone. Alone, we can't do much."
"But we're not. Right?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"It's cool. I won't tell 'em about your sweet digs. Just... don't go fuckin' with serial killers, okay? You're strong as hell, but that guy was somethin' else..." He was ATTACKING THEM with MOLOTOVS, which is definitely how he set them on fire.
"They said... I was a 'pathological liar' or whatever," Tsubasa's gut twists, "all while they were lyin' to my face. What the fuck."
They've painted their skin such a deep shade that it's no longer clear, but they're really quite pale, under there. "We're not," they affirm, leaning down to hug Lance. "..."
Tsubasa looks aside, at the edge of their battered stair. "I kinda numbed out for a bit back there," they admit, "and... I almost told you to leave me alone. But maybe that's, uh... maybe that's a bad idea... so..."
Given a second, they do choke it out, though it's difficult. "Can you... stick around a bit?"
It's not their method of coping, an island unto themself. But... maybe Ichika's onto something, with this whole... being around people bit.
If only because... they're scared they might decide they're too hideous to open the door if they get time to change their mind.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I'll be careful," Ichika says. "...Got no plans to see that guy again if I can help it." But she's going to do something worse. ...Well, she won't be doing that alone, either.
"What the fuck, yeah," Ichika agrees. "I don't... I don't know what the deal is, there. Just that they were lying to you. I wish I knew why."
Lance is good. And...
Ichika smiles faintly. "Yeah," she says. "...I can stick around a while."
"I've got nowhere I'd rather be right now."