2025-08-10: Don't Let The Assholes Win
- Log: Don't Let The Assholes Win
- Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Ichika Kawase, Shuyo Hayama
- Where: Hirasakan Backstreets
- OOC Date: 2025-08-11
- IC Date: Saturday, June 23 2012
- Summary: Tsubasa and Shuyo talk about how Tsubasa's been skipping school all week -- and then Ichika takes a crack at it, after they have to split up to run from the cops. Tsubasa recounts the humiliation Hajime put them through, come back to plague them now again... and Ichika reveals that she's going to find some strong people to help her take on Eiji.
- Content warning: Accounts of intimate partner violence.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
... Tsubasa still hasn't shown up at school.
Of course, if not for Lance, they wouldn't even go out; but Lance gets sick and tired of having no room to move real quick, and that's what's been driving Tsubasa outside more than any desire to show their own face. (To show their skin, to show everyone -- everyone --) They had to run from the cops when they caught them skipping school; it would've been pointless to explain they have a note, when they'd already decided they were guilty.
That's why they're hiding out behind an abandoned office building, now, idly tossing rocks at the window. A few panes are already shattered, suggesting they've been here a while; there's a steel shipping container back here, rusty with neglect, and a pile of old tires which make for decent seating. They're not in their uniform, but the Kasugayama shirts will be showing up in greater numbers, now school's actually out.
One of those shirts is already there, though: Shuyo Hayama skipped last period, today, to come find Tsubasa. He leans against the shipping container, watching the assault on those windows. "Where are you aiming?" He wonders, as the latest rock slams into the wall.
"Your face," Tsubasa tosses another rock in their palm, tossing it at the glass.
"Damn, your aim sucks," Shuyo flips his hair away from his face, airily. "... when are you coming back?"
"Beats me." This time, the window pane does shatter, and Shuyo offers a round of applause.
"The judges are giving that one an eight out of ten! Excellent use of materials to convey tone. But the audience is clamouring to know why our contestant's chicken!"
"I'm not fuckin' chicken, all right?!" Tsubasa whirls on Shuyo, and the discussion segues into the physical as the two grapple with each other, only for Shuyo to get Tsubasa's arm behind them. "-- ow, fuck!"
"Answer the question," Shuyo demands, with all the confidence of a boy who's won a tussle.
"Fine, just -- leggo, fuck!" Shuyo does, and Tsubasa huffs, straightening out their tanktop. "Shit, when did you care?"
"About when you stopped hidin' your bullshit," Shuyo points out, dryly, adopting their own tone. "... c'mon, man. Not like you make it easy."
"Whatever," Tsubasa scowls. "Anyway, it's... stupid. Y'know... day before the attack... ran into my ex." They don't mention who was with him; that's Ichika's business. "Asshole snatched my wig, had to run down half of Hirasaka without it... next day, me other wig burns on account of this Joker Killer whatever the fuck. Everyone saw what I really look like, man..."
"Seriously? This is about your ugly mug?" Shuyo asks, folding his arms.
"Fuck off," Tsubasa mutters, shoving at his shoulder again.
"C'mon, you have to know that if anyone gives you shit we just make them eat the curb." Shuyo elects not to point out that he's already had to do that a few times, overhearing one strain of gossip or another. "I get that you didn't want us to see that, but if every dude whose pics got circled around and laughed at went into hiding there'd be just about no one left at school." Were those pictures unsolicited? This is not about that.
"So, what?" Tsubasa scowls, jamming a shoulder into the shipping crate as they wait for his answer.
Shuyo tilts his head, humming thoughtfully. "If I tell you to get in touch with your feelings and figure out what your problem really is, are you going to punch me again?"
"Prob'ly," Tsubasa says.
"Then I've gotta opt for the classic," Shuyo shrugs. "Man up, dude. They'll be talking about something else as soon as the next thing happens... and it's not like it's the main topic of conversation even now. Might be the worst thing that ever happened to you, but to those guys? Footnote." Tsubasa promptly punches him again, to which he exclaims: "Hey, what the fuck! You said you'd punch me for the other thing!"
"Changed my mind," Tsubasa scowls, and this time they end up arm-baring Shuyo.
When Shuyo yelps, "Ow, fuck, get off!", Tsubasa at least does let him go. He promptly punches them in the shoulder, but in a more companionable way. "Man, I thought I was done with conversations like this," though being fair he hardly talks to the Boss or their Princess like this. "... but you're alright. Just, look..."
"It's cool," Tsubasa pre-empts him, arms folding again. "I get it. ... thanks."
They have to admit it's not like he's wrong, either. There's a certain amount of getting over themself they could stand to do, and they know the gang's going to have their back.
It's just not that easy.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika has been going to school--and she stuck around Hirasaka for the weekend, too, instead of going back to her parents in Iwatodai like she does occasionally. There are a few reasons for this... but one is absolutely that she's still working on Tsubasa.
There are others, but that's the most relevant one at the moment. She's here after Shuyo, because she didn't skip, and because he texted her about having found them.
...As it happens, though, Ichika hasn't mentioned running into her ex to most of the gang. She's thinking about it. But she hasn't done it yet.
Ichika thus walks out from behind another shipping container, looking at the two of them. "Looks like I'm missing a party," the Boss comments, stepping closer. She's still in uniform, her shirt tied up to show off her midriff and her skirt super-long as usual. She's not carrying a weapon today.
Skirt's got pockets, though.
"Hey, you two. What's up?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Lance borks, happily, running up from where she'd been chasing around a cricket to thumpthumpthumpthump her tail against a tire as she dances for attention. HELLO, NOW IS LANCE TIME???
"Oughta get up some balloons and streamers, Boss," Shuyo grins, as Tsubasa scowls behind him. "Maybe some confetti -- agh!"
And that's Tsubasa thumping him in the shoulder as they come up to step beside him. They thump their chest, just the same, in salute. "Yo, Boss."
"Not much," Shuyo shrugs, even though it's pretty obvious why he would have talked about going to find Tsubasa. "Dude talk. Tsubasa-kun still hasn't given me a straight answer on what X talk looks like, so that's what they're getting."
"Fuck would I know?" Tsubasa asks. "Only ever met one person like that, and they're an adult. Y'know, the Cardboard Dragon dude, the one what wanted to get me into their legit crime shit?" They mentioned that much, at least; they had a good impression of Myunghon, but their advice was still to be careful around them.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Lance!" Ichika greets, and crouches down to pet the dog. She rubs and rubs and scritches and gives attention. "Awww, good girl..."
She looks up, "Heheh." Balloons and streamers, of course. But Tsubasa greets too, and Shuyo explains. Dude talk...
"Dude talk. Guess I'm gonna interrupt that." Ichika has never been 'one of the boys' in her life. But she does sound pleased as she walks towars the others, closing the distance to 'conversational'.
"Oh, yeah. I think I met them the other day too..."
"Besides, I don't think you'd take a straight answer if it bit you, Shuyo-kun."
She comes to a stop. "Hmm. Not a bad spot you picked."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
ThumpthumpthumpTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP bork! Lance knows those words! Those are Lance's favourite words!!!
"You're the Boss," Tsubasa agrees, easily enough, when Ichika declares that the Dude Talk has Ceased. They do wonder, briefly, about Ichika's meeting with Myunghon, but --
"Guilty!" Shuyo places a hand to his forehead, lilting backwards. "Why, the only reason I'm so good at tussling with the boys is so I can figure out which ones wrestle best beneath the sheets!"
"Ch, yeah?" Tsubasa clicks their tongue, leaning a shoulder against the shipping container. "Fuck's the criteria?"
"Well, that depends on whether you're scouting for bottoms or tops," Shuyo winks.
Crik-crack, Tsubasa rolls their neck. "So where I measure?"
Shuyo waves a hand, dismissively. "No thanks, I don't want to die."
"Whatever," Tsubasa picks up another rock, and lobs it at the window. Smash!
"Somehow, no one's heard them doing that all afternoon," Shuyo marvels.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Lance!!! Lance is so cute. Ichika is cheered a bit just being near her.
And Ichika might share their meeting, but not at the moment. Instead she laughs at Shuyo's answer. "I still don't see you finding better bottoms than mine," Ichika offers, "But then I remember the last guy you showed me..." She siiighs dramatically.
She knows what top and bottom means. She's making a pun!!
But none of them need to die this moment, because Ichika starts to say something else and then--
"Hey, you punks!" come a male voice.
"Scatter!" Ichika shouts.
It'll be a minute before they get to talk again.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IHTlHIRfVM Nobuo Uematsu - Never Look Back
Lance lets out a RUFF of warning, detecting the presence of her peoples' Least Favourite Humans. As it happens, she's the one who gets the last word in, because her people know exactly what to do when the cops show up.
Shuyo jumps for the chain-link fence and clambers up, vaulting over it and landing heavily on the other side before he runs across the lot. Tsubasa is less acrobatically-inclined then he is, and just bolts in the opposite direction of the cop, ducking around the side of the building only to swerve once they're around the corner to scramble down the alleyway instead of making a full loop. Thankfully, their fake-out worked; the officer tries to cut them off, only get down the side of the building and look down the side-street...
... after they'd hooked a left, another left, and a right to scramble out behind another of those big office buildings.
This one is a little nicer than the one they just looped around, at least; it's either still in use, or at least still being maintained in the hopes it might one day be rented out again. There's not much to the back access, though -- keycard entry, so that's no fun, a bike rack and a couple of empty car park spaces. (No one would dare drive into work in a city like this.)
Tsubasa huffs, grabbing onto that bike rack for a second as they slow to a stop. "He, uh, he gone?" They ask, looking back behind them again. They don't see Lance, but that's not all that concerning; Lance is trained to run home when fleeing the cops, to stop her from ending up in a bad situation.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika is not jumping that fence. She bolts, too, and keeps track of where she saw the others go. She follows Tsubasa this time, since that's the whole reason she came out in the first place. She doesn't talk while they run--but has no interest in dealing with the cops today.
So she slows, finding herself in better shape than she used to be for some mysterious reason, and looks around. "...Yeah," Ichika answers. "He's gone." She doesn't have to grab the bike rack, but her breathing is still heavy. She instead walks over to lean on the wall. ...Lance should be fine.
"You OK?"
"...Heh. It was funny. Shuyo-kun just vaulted over. I wasn't doing that."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa huffs, despite their efforts to insist, "I'm cool."
Go to the gym, Tsubasa.
They sling a foot through the bike rack, leaning on it in a way which assuredly is less restful than just finding someplace to sit but which doubtless looks cool. "Dude did an acrobatic fuckin' leap off the handle," they remark, stoically impressed. "Like, how the fuck?"
GO TO THE GYM, TSUBASA!
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"All right," Ichika says, though Tsubasa is demonstrably not that cool at the moment. ...Though the lean does look cool. "He did," she agrees. She has a feeling if she tried that trick she'd end up in trouble. But...
"...Don't hear anybody else coming though. That's good enough."
Then, she turns Tsubasa's way. "...So. When are you coming back to school?"
It's certainly... a way to broach the subject.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Well, yeah, Ichika has a skirt on. Pretty natural fence-climbing debuff, right there.
"Me neither," Tsubasa confirms; all the sounds of Hirasaka are a bit muffled and far-away thanks to this cluster of buildings. There's a car alarm going off, somewhere, but it's at least not here.
But then -- it turns out the same thing's on Ichika's mind. "What," Tsubasa grouses, "you guys have a meetin' or somethin'?" Surely it must be active collusion, if they're all worried about how it's the end of the week and Tsubasa's still not back yet.
"... it's just hard, man." Ichika does get a real answer out of them, after that guarded volley, it just takes a minute longer. "Shuyo-kun said most fucks don't give a shit what I looked like... but..."
They trail off, fingers drumming on the steel loops, and their concerns are likely reflected in the way Ichika had to start shit with the Foundry Boss for confirming to the newbies of her gang that yes, Tsubasa looks like a total horror show because of their arson, the Joker Killer didn't do that.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
That's true.
"Cool," Ichika says, and stays against the wall for now, her arms crossed. It's reasonably comfortable, even, the angle at which she's standing, the way she's got her feet set.
"Something like that," Ichika answers of a meeting. "Except without the actual meeting. We all noticed."
Still, Tsubasa does give an answer, and Ichika nods. "..He's right," she says. "Most don't."
But, it's still hard.
"It sucks," Ichika says. "You shouldn't have to deal with it. And yeah, I'll kick some asses if people give you shit for it."
"...But you can't stay away forever, either. That's just letting the assholes win."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Weird," Tsubasa says, first off, only to feel like kind of a dick for being uncomfortable realising their friends gave a shit. "... uh... I mean, didn't mean to worry ya."
They bite at the lip -- the inside, to stop from screwing up their nice blue lipstick too much. "I know everyone thinks I'm hideous," and that's not really the kind of word they use, day to day, but it's not hard to make a good guess where they picked it up. "But I'm so scared of hearin' somethin', I..."
Nope, it's not coming out.
Tsubasa's fingers tighten, again, around the rack. "I heard what they said about me," they settle on, instead, and their voice is quieter than the car alarm but hopefully the fact that they're right here is enough to make it work. "That day. In front of Sevens. Shit, man... never been more humiliated in my life, and that's countin' my dad."
... in front of Sevens?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"It's fine," Ichika says of worry. "I'd be a shitty Boss if I didn't notice."
But 'hideous' is not the kind of word they use, no. And Ichika frowns at hearing it. She keeps frowning, with the rest, and listens to their quiet voice as they mention Sevens.
"..."
Ichika pushes off the wall and comes over to the bike rack, instead. "You wanna tell me about it?" Ichika asks.
"...It's when that asshole did his shit, isn't it?"
He doesn't need to be named. They both know who it is.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Wouldn't wanna diss ya, Boss," Tsubasa cedes, which is about equivalent to admitting she saw something that was really worth worrying about.
But Ichika approaches the bike rack, and...
There's a moment of stillness and silence, when she asks, before they reach a resolution inside themself and nod. They want to. It's just --
"Mm," they hum, with unsettled affirmation, when Ichika figures out who.
Drum, drum...
"He was a jealous guy," Tsubasa starts, "lashed out a lot, but... he didn't always act like that. Used to be he was... real nice, most of the time... my father liked him. So I'd spend the night at his house a lot... it was just before Summer holidays that he was droppin' hints he wanted, you know, walk to school together or whatever, like I didn't go to a washout school. But... by then, you know..."
Tsubasa takes a moment, breathing in through their nose and out through their mouth, just like they learned in hospital. (As if any of that shit ever worked.) "He'd started to get real, I dunno, critical," they say, their fingers clenching at the rack. "Real nitpicky... he'd lecture me over the dumbest little shit. That day he was mad because I had to grab the wig I kept in my bag, couldn't find the one I'd left in his room, y'know," Tsubasa doesn't know for sure he hid it on purpose, so how can they say that? "Eventually he started yelling at me in front of everyone, how I didn't respect myself, how I was embarrassin' him... he grabbed it and yelled about how it wasn't even conditioned right, and..."
Tsubasa stares straight forward, into the carpark. "Screamed at me 'bout how we were -- done. He didn't wanna so much as know me no more. And I... fuck, it's so stupid... I fell into this full fuckin' dogeza, in front of the whole fuckin' school, beggin' him not to leave me. They were all talkin' 'bout how he must really pity me... how hard it must've been for him if his, girlfriend looked like that... thinkin' his standards were way too low... wonderin' how he stomached, me." And if there were kinder worries, murmured through the crowd that day, they've long since been drowned out by the danger of the negative voices.
They're trying their very best to pretend there aren't tears in their eyes. "He was moved," they add, bitterly. "Took me back. Had to come by that night to, talk about it, though... wish he coulda seen me sooner. Whole day, felt like I was dyin'... I thought, if it'd happened at my school, I couldn't never bear to show my face again. So... now..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika listens. She leans on the bike rack, taking up a vigil there with her friend. Over this memory.
"...Nice, huh." Ichika lets herself remember the way he spoke to Tsubasa when she met him. It's hard, thinking back to that night--but for all that she was frozen, she sure does remember what happened.
"..."
Tsubasa stares forward, but Ichika looks at Tsubasa. She listens to them talk, about those rumors, about what people said...
Ichika would usually look away, to spare Tsubasa someone seeing them cry. But this time...
"...So moved that he made you wait all day, knowing how you felt," she says.
"...It's not stupid. It's something a lot of guys try to do. They put you down so much that you get used to thinking of yourself that way."
"...I've had guys try it on me, too. Try to get what they want by telling me I'm just a dumb slut anyway..."
She shakes her head. "Maybe he acted nice, but he showed you who he really was. If he respected you, why would he have that conversation in front of so many people? If he was so embarrassed, why'd he call everybody in to look?"
"That shit they said... They're as much assholes as he is. And sometimes you have to deal with assholes."
"...But I'm proud to have you in my crew."
The anger at Hajime is distant, compared to her concern for Tsubasa--but it's there. It's definitely there.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I know callin' him nice sounds crazy," Tsubasa says, though Ichika might be one of the few people who really understands how it isn't.
They nod, mutely, when Ichika notices just how moved he was(n't). "He used to be nice," they say, their voice growing a touch more thick. "Y'know, he was actually real upset when he and Tachibana-san broke up... like, he was cool with emotions and shit. He'd talk like it was awful the world wounded me, how it wasn't fair, how a, sweet girl like me didn't deserve all that, how he wanted to make it better... it's just, when I let him see me. When he really saw how ugly I was, it started bein' more, more... how lucky I was he loved me... then, how no one else would."
Tsubasa swallows, as if they could clear their throat. "Y'know, when the Foundry Boss heard about the stunt he pulled, she straight pinned me to a wall and ordered me to dump him," they relate, their tone still quite numb. "Dunno why she gave a shit... argued with her, too. But in the end, she was the Boss... and she was right." ... so it would break their heart, really, to hear that Kyoko was one of the people talking about it.
"But," they add, blinking rapidly, lips stiff to try and stop them trembling, "she never woulda told me somethin' like that. Not in a million years, Boss. No one... no one would... was ever..."
Proud of them. Their voice hitches on the whole idea, and their eyes squeeze shut, gasping out a miserable-sounding noise. It's a good thing, so why do they feel so distressed?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Doesn't," Ichika says. "I'm sure he was." At first. Just like Tsubasa says. They explain, and Ichika nods. "...Yeah. It's..."
She thinks back. "...They do that, don't they? They make you feel special. For a while."
She shakes her head. "...That's fucked up," Ichika says. "You don't say stuff like that to someone you care about. If you ever do, you sure don't double down on it later."
The Foundry Boss... Ichika knows full well about how the Foundry Boss is one of the people talking about it now.
But she definitely wouldn't have said that.
"Yeah, well," Ichika says, "I am. ...I wouldn't have gotten half as far as I have if not for you."
A look up to the sky. "...No, I'd probably be with him again now..."
"Anyway, I know... you're not used to hearing that kind of thing. But I'm glad you're my friend, and I appreciate you as part of the crew."
"...You don't have to say anything about it, or feel any kind of way about it. It just... It is."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"I... wanted to be special," Tsubasa admits, with all the dourness of someone who knows it could only ever be a pleasant lie.
Their head cants to the side, when Ichika says how fucked up it was, and they mutter: "Worked, though." Even now they know he's bad news...
But... they've been helping Ichika along, too. Tsubasa sniffs, too overcome to do much more than nod as they listen to what she's saying. Somehow, being absolved of the need to respond a certain way is a relief, and Tsubasa doesn't quite realise how connected that freedom is to how conditional their approval always was.
Their hand lifts in the direction of Ichika's arm, and hesitates, jerking back in space; their fingers curl, evidence at war with experience, and they do nothing at all.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I understand," Ichika says. And she does, whether Tsubasa might believe that or not. After all...
Eiji is Hajime's friend, too.
"Yeah, it worked," Ichika says. "Often does."
Tsubasa sniffs, and Ichika sees it might seem to help. But she isn't laying down conditions this time. ...Instead...
Ichika reaches out, when she sees them try, and puts a hand over Tsubasa's. "Hey," she says.
She looks at Tsubasa, and hopes that her presence can communicate what she's not quite sure how to in words.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa believes it.
Ichika closes the distance, though, and as always she can see them flinching -- bracing for some impact they anticipate by instinct -- before they're able to work through that panic and relax. (It used to take... longer.)
"Hh," they start, voice strangled. Try again: "Hey."
They look at Ichika's hand, over theirs, with nothing bad happening, and eventually they manage to stop crying quite so much. "It's... stupid, right?" They venture, their voice rising in a fragile tone, like they're trying to shrug it off. "A real-ass serial killer showed up to our school, my doc told me I was crazy, again... and all I'm thinkin' is what my fuckin' ex did. Like... priorities, right...?"
Their voice wobbles a little too much for it to be a good joke, though.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika hates Tsubasa's father and ex-boyfriend in that moment, not for the first time. Maybe not just them, either. But it's not as important--as Tsubasa trying again.
Hey, Tsubasa says, and Ichika waits through it. She lets her hand settle once Tsubasa relaxes a little. Ichika's hand is soft as ever, gentle, except for the long nails that aren't sharp so much as... clicky.
Not that long, though. She needs to be able to make a fist.
"Not stupid," Ichika says. "...It's not easy to forget that stuff. And like..."
"We've got no context for serial killers. How's that supposed to stick in the brain? ...You're still not sure what to feel about your doctor other than 'bad'."
"But your ex...? You've got him on the brain. You met him not that long ago, that day."
"...At least, if that's stupid, we'll be stupid together. Yeah?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Trying again... but it really feels like they're frozen.
Tsubasa manages to thaw a little with Ichika's efforts, though. Their hands are rough -- rougher on their right than their left, but the scars are all there, just some are shallower than others. Back then, the doctors told them how lucky they were their hands weren't majorly burned; it hardly feels lucky, when their beastish paws are put up next to the beauty of their best friend, whose most viable exit plan is modelling.
Perhaps there's a small stab of jealousy, there; as ever, they swallow it.
Ichika points out how strange the Joker Killer was, though, and Tsubasa has to nod. It was -- way above their paygrade. "Straight gutted a guy, man..." They grumble, still very clearly not over it. If only their doctor wasn't lying to them, they could clearly use some help.
"... but... y'right, it was just the night before those fucks showed up." Tsubasa's thumb lifts, to trace at the edges of Ichika's fingers, in some shadow of an effort. "Yeah... together..."
They look up, to find Ichika's eyes, though their face is a mess. "How you doin', anyway? Not like I been sayin' it, but it weren't just that asshole out there."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika knows frozen well enough. ...But she waits. She does speak, and when Tsubasa grumbles, Ichika nods. "Seriously," she says. Gutted a guy. They're not over it and, really, neither is Ichika. She's just.. moving forward a different way.
"Mm-hm," Ichika answers. She curls her fingers slightly over Tsubasa's hand.
Ichika's eyes are red, but not red. Just the usual iris, not crying this time herself. "I'm..."
"Still not great," she admits. "I've been... distracting, about it. It's helping, but not.. enough."
"I'm better than I was," she settles on. "Maybe that's all I can ask for now."
"...Until I can... do something."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Seriously!" Tsubasa exclaims, in echo. How are any of them supposed to be over it?
Tsubasa lets out a breath, when they feel Ichika's fingers curl. It... is a relief, if they get down to it. It might be more comfortable and familiar to wrestle with people, punch them, but...
Tsubasa's eyes are a strange shade of blue, and it makes for a terrible contrast, with all their crying. But -- Ichika's not great, and they nod, looking to her. "Replacin' those memories, huh?" They intuit what she means, by distractions. "Just another way of gettin' clean..."
They couldn't, even if they wanted to, but maybe getting in fights is their best equivalent. ... not that they can really do that, right now, either. The doctors were very clear.
"Better's still good," they agree, glancing down to their hands again. "... what you gonna do?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika hears that responds. Replacing memories. "...Yeah," Ichika answers, and once again around the gang her voice is a little rougher again. ...Not completely rough, though; there's a softness for this topic. "If I can do it enough," Ichika answers quietly, "Maybe I won't think about how he touched me, anymore. Maybe that feeling will stick, one of these days."
Still.
"It is," Ichika says. "...And it's not like I'm just distracting myself. The new memories I'm making are good."
"But what I'm gonna do..."
"I'm gonna fight."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Worse ways of doin' it," Tsubasa points out, rubbing at her fingertips with the edge of their thumb again. "Could be out there rippin' on your own skin, beatin' it, starvin' it... anyone gives you shit about it, I'd like to know what fuckin' alternative they'd reckon was better."
They shrug a shoulder. "Your way's way more like to make you feel good. Yeah, good memories. Don't see that it's a bad option to begin with. Someone givin' you shit, or just, like society?"
Tsubasa might not be able to imagine anyone being able to bear having sex with them, but that doesn't mean they're about to say that Ichika using sex to fix her soul is bad.
But Ichika says she's going to fight, and a bittersweet expression twists onto Tsubasa's face. "Y'know, the first thing I wanted to do when I got off of school that day was go find that fuck with a bokken? But now... the fuckin' hospital said if I hit my stupid head again for a couple weeks after I got hurt I'm gonna end up a fuckin' invalid. Shit, though, even if I had tracked him down, dunno if I..." Well, Ichika saw the way he effortlessly stepped out of their swing, back then.
It's easy to talk tough, but what could they have really done?
"... but you're way stronger than me," Tsubasa says, shaking their head. "No way you can't do it. Just -- uh -- don't... don't go doin' that on your own, alright? That woman with the staff what showed up that day, big sis," ane-san, which is gang slang more than anything, "she's Shinobu Shimizu, know she's an adult, but she's legit." Mark was there, too, but Tsubasa still can't entirely process the artist being a fighter, so their brain just doesn't. "You can ask her."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Worse ways. Ichika can think of a few. She's tried a few, though thankfully not enough to scar. "...Thanks," Ichika says, of people giving her shit. Then, she nods. "It does," she agrees. It makes her feel good. "...Just society, I guess. I'm kind of aware... of what a lot of people think of me, the stuff I do."
But Ichika has a plan. She can't share the details with Tsubasa. They wouldn't get it. But they know some. They know she fights, and that she's 'tough'. The Ogre...
"I won't," Ichika assures Tsubasa. "I'm gonna get together some strong people. And we're gonna go." Shinobu Shimizu... "I'll remember," Ichika says. "I'll talk to her, too."
"Thanks," she says. "...Hey, how about we get going, go find Lance? I was gonna meet somebody later... but I'd feel better if we collected Lance first."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Those people can get fucked," Tsubasa says, scornfully dismissive.
And pauses.
"Wait, guess the whole point is they don't wanna do that. Their loss."
It's kind of funny, in a horrible way.
Strong people... Tsubasa feels another stab of jealousy, in their gut, but they swallow it down just the same. It's not Ichika's fault if they just can't measure up in a fight like that... and she needs people she can rely on. "Cool."
They brace their other hand on the bike rack, pushing themself up. "Sure," they nod. "She'll probably be back home by now. Let's swing by. You can borrow her, yeah?"
Even if Lance is a terrible fighting dog, she at least looks the part... just like Tsubasa.