2025-08-13: Self-Guidance
- Log: 2025-08-13 Self-Guidance
- Cast: Julian Marlowe, Jun Kashihara
- Where: Kasugayama High School, Hirasaka Ward, Sumaru City
- OOC Date: August 13, 2025
- IC Date: June 25, 2012
- Summary: Jun goes to Mr. Marlowe for advice.
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
It's been a rough week for Julian Marlowe, though he'd never say so out loud. It's nothing compared to what the students went through, who were present on that terrible day of the 'gang violence' incident. If anything, dealing with the fallout is his penance for not being there for the students when it mattered most. Coincidence, or is fate playing tricks again?
Whatever the case may be, it isn't fate that's guided events since then. Those instructions to offer trite reassurances, downplay the events, and deny any involvement of the Joker Killer haven't sat well with him at all. He doesn't take kindly to being told how to do his job to begin with, but this is tantamount to flat out lies, he's pretty certain.
Such is the world of adults. Such despicable practices. And he's expected to just close his eyes to it? Yet while he's had his moderate rebellions where he could, he can't stick out his neck as much as he'd like to, either. He can't risk dismissal, or there goes his chance to help any of the students at all. Rock and a hard place, one might say.
Almost certainly, this is also the reason why Jun Kashihara wasn't higher on his list of students to see about the matter. He knows for a fact that Jun was right at the center of where it all happened. He needed recovery time, of course, but he's been at school for some time. Did they need to make sure nothing problematic would be said? ...Did they take steps to ensure that?
Well, right now, he needs to be careful not to bother the poor boy about that whole mess too much. He's certainly taken steps to make him feel at ease. Two cups of hot tea and a tray of scones stand ready on the table that dominates the Guidance Office - or as Jun would know it until the start of this school year, that storage closet no one ever went into. It's a little cramped, barely fitting Julian's desk, a filing cabinet and the aforementioned table with two chairs on either end. But he's tried his best to give it a pleasant outdoorsy vibe, with grass-like carpeting and sky blue painted walls.
Already seated at the table, his 'please enter' when the door is knocked upon is pleasant enough, and he aims to remain such, smiling pleasantly at Jun's entry. "<Mister> Kashihara, it's good to see you. Please have a seat. Rest assured, I will only take as much of your time as you feel you need."
Once seated, the pleasantries quickly move to the matter at hand - they both know what this is about, after all. "Before anything else, please tell me... do you feel fully recovered? Even if your injuries weren't of a physical nature, you went through quite the ordeal. Anyone would understand if you needed more time to process all this, I for one find it remarkable that you've already returned to attending class."
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
Truthfully, when Jun heard that Kasugayama High was getting a guidance counselor, he was shocked--until he heard that it was a foreign teacher who'd also be teaching another subject. He was still surprised, but significantly less so. Marlowe-sensei, he figured, was probably a fresh-faced and bright-eyed foreigner wanting to make a difference in a new land.
And that's a good thing, in his estimation. Jun would be known to Julian in turn as one of the better students, maybe even the best, of Kasu High--as long as you aren't bothered by the fact that he's gay, something most everyone knows but few are willing to say aloud, at least in public. Depending on how willing the other teachers are willing to gossip with him, Julian may or may not have caught on.
But it remains true that Jun was there that frightful day, having following Eikichi down to the basement on a hunch and ended up passed out and covered in blood. Despite this, he wasn't too badly injured... or injured at all, really, but he did take a while to wake up, so the doctors think there was probably a mild concussion or shock or something along those lines. A couple days off, and Jun's back to school as if nothing's wrong.
But something is wrong. Lots of things are. And that's why he's reached out to Marlowe-sensei for this talk.
He knocks gently on the door of the tiny guidance office and lets himself in when bid. Jun smiles back at the Englishman. "Thank you, sensei. I truly appreciate your willingness to see me." He takes a seat and partakes gratefully of tea and scones. The tea is different from what he's use to, and the scones are an interesting treat. He savors a bite and a sip for a moment before he sets them down. His movements are smooth and graceful, and match his fine, beautiful features. (If Julian is familiar with the veteran actress Junko Kurosu, he can definitely see the family resemblance.) He folds his legs and criss-crosses his fingers over them.
"That's difficult to say, I must admit," he replies, eyebrows lifting in concern. "I can't really say I'm suffering any more than anyone else, but... my memories of that day are muddled and blurred, and I've already had an experience where... when I tried to discuss it with Tsubasa-kun, I felt the onset of what I believe was a panic attack. So I think I must have had an extremely scarring experience, and only repression is keeping my mind intact." He offers a smile, as thankful for the praise as it is apologetic. Because... "Forgive me. I've done some reading on psychology before all this happened--I want to become a teacher myself--but I'm still very much a student, so I do apologize if I overstep on or incorrectly use the medical terms."
...So, 'no, but I'm managing,' basically.
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
There's honestly quite a bit that Julian knows about Kasugayama's students, in general. There are files. Every bit of personal information and history that is judged to be of possible impact on a student's educational path or school life in general is legal for a school to keep on record. It's just that at this school, there wasn't anyone who truly cared to look into it at all, let alone make a study of it. Until Julian came along.
He's certainly appeared every bit the quirky foreigner, standing out not just because of being a westerner, but actually looking happy to be here. He's tried to make lessons fun, and is commonly seen wandering around the school observing the students going about their business, not giving a care to the impression he's leaving in the process.
Not everyone appreciates it in equal measure, but he hopes that with time, more and more will come around to the idea that he genuinely cares. Which is no more than the truth. Enough so that he would not have hesitated to act, that day... had he been able.
As it is, all he has to go on is reports. Which he's mistrustful enough of to even suspect doctors of having, well, doctored them. No, all that truly matters in the end is what Jun himself has to say about the events.
...He already has to bite back a comment at 'willingness to see me'. My boy, he would like to say, if only you knew the half of how difficult people have been making it to see the people I had wanted to see earlier. His thoughts don't show in his expression.
He mimics Jun where it comes to the pacing in partaking of the tea and scones - which he wouldn't say are anything particularly special, but they are from an import store. Julian does like a little taste of home.
"Memory problems are a serious matter indeed," Julian asserts, furrowing his monocled brow. "Though it is also true that repression is a common defense mechanism of the mind." With a chuckle, he shakes his head. "Oh no, I would never discourage self-education, perish the thought. I'm most pleased to hear that you're interested in one of my fields. That being the case... disturbing though it might be, I'm sure you must have read that it would be unwise to try and actively force yourself to relive what you've experienced, past where your memory of the events ends. With that in mind..."
Folding his hands on the table, his expression turns grave. "I'm truly, deeply sorry if it should turn out my words touch upon matters that cause you undue distress. I regret that I must yet ask you what you do remember of the events that took place, and your feelings regarding them. But then, I assume that was your wish as well, given your request."
Not many students actually request to see him. He'd certainly like that to become the more common scenario, rather than the form of punishment it usually takes right now. As for Tsubasa Seki... that name has certainly been coming up a lot in regards to the incident. Hopefully he can manage to speak to them about this at some point, as well. But right now, this is about Jun.
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
Not everyone appreciates it, no. But Jun does, for a reason he's already stated. He's similarly aware that there are probably precious few people who've been willing to see Julian and he probably has an excess of free time, but it's kind to speak of it as if he's being done a favor anyway. He is being done a favor; it's just that most of the students and staff of Kasugayama don't see it that way.
"I have," he replies with a single reluctant nod. "I've been torn on it. I do agree that it would probably be best to try to put it all behind me and let myself forget. I think that's ultimately what I'll do, too. It's just..."
He trails off. When Julian encourages him to share what he does remember and assumes that he wanted this too, Jun chuckles faintly. "Yes. There was a boy from Seven Sisters High School who... Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself. And if talking this through does cause me distress, I'll let you know right away so we can stop." He reaches forward to take another sip of tea. The scone is a bit too dry to serve him well in this moment. He sets the cup back down and settles himself in his seat, shoulders squared.
"So... there truly isn't very much I remember. I do remember the start of it all--I was walking through the hallways on the second floor, carrying out an errand a teacher asked of me, when there was a loud commotion from outside. The Boss--that is, Eikichi Mishina-kun--poked his head out in the hallway. Looking back, I believe that sound was probably the landmine explosion I heard about later in the news, but that's not the important part. What is is that a girl with long red hair, dressed in a pure white gothic lolita dress, came up to us then and told the Boss that she'd heard a girl screaming in the basement and he needed to go help her."
Jun's brows furrow as he frowns a bit. "I found this rather suspicious, so I decided to come along with him. When we got to the basement, there was a boy there... Atsushi Kazama, though I wouldn't learn his name until later." Julian would know that's the first-year who was axed in the stomach and had to have major surgery; he's currently recuperating in the hospital, and will be for some time. "She attacked him, and..." Jun grimaces, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. It's around here that it starts to get fuzzy. I assume it's the shock of seeing someone almost killed..."
That isn't actually it. But it does seem logical, doesn't it?
"There were other people there. I... don't really remember anything about most of them. But there was a big fight. Tsubasa-kun--that is, Tsubasa Seki, my classmate--also showed up, and they helped me get Kazama-kun to safety. But... there was fire, and then..." His breathing starts to pick up and grow labored, and he clutches his forehead, fingers slipping into the half-curtain of bangs that cover one of his eyes. For a silent moment, he visibly struggles; then he takes a deep, chagrined breath. "...The rest is a blur. That is, until a boy... that boy I mentioned, from Seven Sisters..." A tinge of pink enters his cheeks. "...took me in his arms and... saved me."
He stares at the floor for a moment. Then he shakes his head slowly. "...or, at least... that's what I thought at the time. I passed out right after that. I really only remember his face... but Tsubasa-kun and I talked about it later, and they said... he wasn't trying to help me." His lips purse as he looks away. "And I don't think they would lie to me, but... that boy was in my hospital room when I woke up. He was very kind to me... His name is Tatsuya Suou. My father, who is a teacher at Sevens, recognized him when I described him later, so I don't think he was lying either. But... some of the things he said contradicted what I learned later--not to mention what Tsubasa-kun told me. So..."
He pauses. Then he looks up to meet Julian's eyes. "...I don't know what to believe, or what to do."
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
Julian has likewise noted that of all the eyes that viewed him with suspicion, to his knowledge those have never included Jun. Granted, that's not exactly the only way Jun has stood out either. Even if it's not for the same exact reasons, perhaps it only stands to reason that there's a level of mutual appreciation here.
Even so, he wasn't quite prepared for Jun to launch right into 'there was a boy'. The surprise is only visible in the form of a brief pause mid-teasip, but it was there. If it's to become that kind of talk, he fears he might be of very little help indeed. But when Jun makes to start over, he sets down his cup and nods to encourage going ahead.
So, he was with Eikichi Mishina from the start. That explains why, even with the memory issues, there is so much more detail in this account that he hadn't been able to learn from anyone else.
...He can't help but feel like a bad person, feeling on some level giddy about learning more of the facts of this case. But that's what it means to lead a double life, he supposes. He can dwell on that later, right now he has to stay focused on what's more important.
Julian doesn't interject until Jun starts to struggle, urging, "There's no need for apologies, anyone would been deeply affected by the events you witnessed. Rather, please do take care, pause if you need a moment to recompose." He'd never consider anything like this to be a waste of his time, Jun can take as much of it as he needs.
When he struggles a second time, Julian doesn't say anything, more concerned about aggravating the matter. Sometimes, it's better to let someone work things out as best they can on their own for a moment.
...Is it coincidence that the evidently attractive boy conveniently appeared just as memory turned vague? He has to consider all the angles there. But the name Tatsuya Suou isn't unfamiliar. That confirms a few things, there's enough evidence to confirm his presence at least. As for his motivations...
"...I would say that part's impossible to know for certain. But I think it's safe to say that a hospital visit from someone who meant you harm seems rather unlikely." ...honestly, it sounds like Jun has far stronger lingering concerns regarding that last part, rather than the incident itself. Rather remarkable, considering the trauma he must have experienced being surrounded by fire and blood, carrying a critically injured schoolmate.
Perhaps his thought pattern might not be immediately clear, but the first words out of his mouth end up being, "You're a remarkably strong individual, aren't you, <Mister> Kashihara?"
He leaves that hanging for a moment as he puts his thoughts in order, then proceeds to address what may seem to be an entirely different matter, at first.
"I couldn't help but notice that you are a bit of an outlier by Kasugayama standards." He doesn't feel he needs to address the way he looks, the way he carries himself, or his preferences. That's not where he's going with that. "As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, most everyone is extremely involved with the student politics at this school, seeking a place to belong. Even those not directly following a 'Boss' generally have a 'camp' they would say they're in. ...But not you. You seem to thrive where others would flounder, entirely on your own merits."
Serious expression melting into a gentle smile, he adds, "I would be doing you a disservice by attempting to tell you what you should do, or believe, in regards to what appears to be your primary concern. You've always followed your own heart, have you not? What does your heart tell you now?"
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
Well... it's not NOT that kind of talk. But it isn't the point, either. Jun doesn't know what Marlowe-sensei's preferences are, and as long as that's the case, he's not going to ask him for romance advise. Jun doesn't hide his homosexuality, but he also doesn't expect most people to understand it, either. That's just how things are. He considers himself fortunate that his parents are supportive and is willing to accept that for what it is.
He offers him a smile when Julian urges him to take his time if he needs to. Obviously, he takes him up on that. Eventually, he makes it through to the end of what he remembers. Is it a coincidence? It wouldn't be unreasonable, certainly.
He does relax with open relief when Julian opines that someone who visited him in the hospital probably doesn't mean him harm. It might be impossible to know for certain, but it does help ease his concerns to get that opinion from (what he believes to be) a neutral, uninvolved party. "I thought so too. He was very sweet," he replies, though then he hesitates again. "I wonder if... maybe he was involved in what was going on, and involved me somehow when he didn't mean to, and felt bad about it. That would explain the incongruity between him and what Tsubasa-kun said," he suggests.
It doesn't explain the bouquet, though. That's still a mystery. But it also has nothing to do with Tsubasa, as far as Jun knows.
When Julian calls him strong, he blinks twice. "Oh... Thank you." He doesn't argue with him, even after grappling with his seeming fragility--a topic he discussed at length with Tsubasa, even if he hasn't brought it up here yet. "But what brings this up?"
He listens as Julian explains. There's a faint smile on his lips as he's called an 'outlier.' No argument there either. He doesn't think Marlowe-sensei means that in a bad way, and so he takes it in the spirit it seems to be intended--all the more so when the topic goes in a direction he genuinely didn't expect. His smile widens a bit, and when Julian does likewise, he gazes off into the distance. What does his heart tell him?
"I... I want to see him again. Suou-kun, I mean," he says softly. "I don't think he wants to see me, but I don't think I can be satisfied with the way things are." He looks back at Julian. "Maybe I can split the difference--give myself some more time to process what happened before I approach him. Maybe I can learn more about him to get a better read on what his motivations might have been, so I can get a better sense of if seeing him again is a good or terrible idea. Either way, if he did do something and feels guilty about it, I don't think we can clear the air while I still..." He chuckles ironically and lowers his eyes. "...have a physical reaction to the mere reminder of what happened. Even more so if I can't even remember precisely what happened."
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
Honestly, Julian would be among the worst people to ask about romance advice of any kind. He would dodge the question of whether that's due to lack of interest or lack of experience. But he isn't about to be judgmental about the nature of it, regardless. Guidance counselors are supposed to leave personal judgements out of their profession, and aren't supposed to give personal advice of that nature. ...He kind of hates to think about this as having 'played it by the book', as it were, since he truly does speak from the heart, but he'd have to admit that guiding by encouraging self-reflection is the oldest trick in said book. Which is hopefully not the same book as the one that Jun read on the subject.
At least he did give his opinion where he believed it mattered. Cautious though he himself may be, there's a limit to how cautious one can be before it becomes more harmful than helpful. And he really does have a very high opinion of those who manage to stand on their own two feet even when circumstances don't appear to favor that approach. No word of a lie there.
The matter of Tatsuya's involvement in the incident is one he can only speculate about. Which he is definitely planning on doing. But to Jun, he says, "It's a possibility. It is rather a bit unusual for a student from another school to not just visit here, but to be at the heart of everything that transpired, no less. Ultimately though, it's hard to deny that had he meant you harm, he had an opportunity later and did not seize it."
That may seem reasonable, but if you read between the lines, he just implied that he doesn't think this was gang violence caused by students from another school, like the news reports keep insisting. He can't directly confirm it, and he refuses to deny it, but his opinions still indirectly find their way into his words at times.
But there wasn't anything indirect about his assertion that he doesn't think Tatsuya Suou is dangerous. ...to Jun. He's not as sure about 'in general'. Time will tell, he supposes. For now...
"My, you seem to be rather good at counseling yourself. That must have been a fine book, or you may have natural talent." He says it in good humor, but he is a little impressed at the sensible blend of caution and health focus, rather than any sort of rash suggestion. Jun's really doing all the work for him here, and he couldn't be more pleased. "Sometimes that really is all it takes."
He does at least have one piece of advice to leave Jun with, suggesting in that calm conversational tone he's known for, "If you take away any one thing from our talk today, remember this, <Mister> Kashihara: The right answers for you are always within yourself. I cannot give them to you, I can only help you bring them to the surface, should you find yourself struggling to do so. At times when that's the sort of help you need.... my door is always open."
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
Ironically, Jun sometimes gets asked for romantic advice, despite the fact that he's never dated anyone before and has yet to fall in love. One can be attracted to a gender but not fall in love, after all. Tatsuya might well change that... but right now Jun is merely drawn to him. That could be as much out of a desire for answers as it could a desire for... something else.
For all that Julian says Jun is good at counseling himself, though, his guidance really was a great help to him. Self-reflection really was an important tool here, and Julian encouraged him towards that with skill and care--and, of course, honesty. If Jun is a little more put-together emotionally than some of his peers, that's good for both of them, really.
It also helps that Julian points out that if Tatsuya had meant him harm, he had a perfect opportunity for it and did not take advantage. Jun looks relieved at that, too. It's clear that he wants it to be true. "I do agree that it's strange that he was in the area. However, my father said... Well, maybe I shouldn't go into this. It's Suou-kun's own private business." He hesitates; then he continues, "No, you ought to know the context. I'll keep it simple, then: my understanding is that Suou-kun has not been attending school lately." Jun doesn't really know much past that, anyway.
"...Though I also understand that there were quite a few adults present, too," he adds--because he did pick up on that implication. He's just not sure what he makes of it, especially if the adults were mostly there trying to help.
Either way... Tsubasa did tell him that the Joker Killer was there, for all the news have said nothing about it. But that's precisely what gets Jun started on what he assumed is a "panic attack," so it sadly goes unmentioned.
"Haha, thank you," he says graciously, lips parting in a smile. "I'll be following in your footsteps before you know it, sensei!" (He'll really be following in his father's footsteps, but Jun considers kind, caring teachers like Marlowe-sensei to be inspirational, too. It still counts.) He nods at Julian's follow-up. That really is wise... "You really are an excellent teacher. Thank you, Marlowe-sensei," he replies. "I'll be sure to take you up on that in the future."
After all, he's only at the start of his journey. He's sure he'll need more advice in the future. For now, though, he reaches again for the tea and scone. "Until then... would you mind terribly if we continued to chat over tea?"
It doesn't need to be a discussion about dire circumstances for them to get to know each other better. Jun will be happy to talk about his mother, the famous veteran actress, and his father, the kind and passionate teacher, and their cozy, living home life together--and his own dreams of becoming a teacher in the future, and how he uses his time at Kasugayama to strive towards that--until the scones have been nibbled to nothing and the teacups have gone cold.