2025-08-31: Ain't Found A Way To Kill Me Yet
- Cutscene: Ain't Found A Way To Kill Me Yet
- Cast: Shinjiro Aragaki
- Where: Hirasaka Police Station, Hirasaka Ward
- OOC Date: 2025-08-31
- IC Date: Thursday, July 4th, 2012 (Early Morning)
- Summary: After Myunghon's attack, Shinjiro spends the night in jail, left to the elements and forced to contend with his dark thoughts.
- Content warning: Police cruelty, depressive thoughts, ruminations about death
It has been a cold, lonely night.
As Shinjiro was hauled into the police station and taken into questioning, they removed his jacket in order to search it more carefully for weapons, despite the pat down earlier finding his drugs. They found none, but the drugs, unidentifiable as anything familiar by sight alone, were evidence enough. This was justification to cut off any visitors and put him in incommunicado, even beyond the assault of an officer.
He gave no response about it, and indeed, little response at all, except to refuse medical attention for his wounds. Incredibly uncooperative, they asked him to identify the drugs. No. Give up his dealers and associates? Nothing. Other buyers? Nope. Maybe a full confession, make this easier for the prosecutor.
Not a word.
They then told him they'd be holding him for forty-eight hours. After that, the prosecutor would make their decision, send in a request for detention, and then they could hold him for twenty days.
After that, he'd get indicted, they'd throw the book at him, and everyone knows how the legal system works... he'd get convicted.
Especially since he did it. At the very least, the information was easily leaked... and someone in particular would receive it within those forty-eight hours.
As Shinjiro was led to his cell, they refused to return his jacket. They also refused, even on request, something as simple as a blanket, saying they weren't allowed to with a snide look and a grin. Shinjiro assumed this was bullshit. He was right.
Instead of sitting on the bed or laying down, he sat in the corner, remaining alone with his thoughts, even as he shivered down into his bones, never quite slowing down. He had only a t-shirt and his jeans to keep his body warm, though they allowed him to keep his hat.
He didn't know what he'd have done if they had taken it.
The thoughts rushed in. Without his pills, he was going to die in a matter of weeks. Jin wouldn't refill him in time without further betraying the trust of the people he cared about. But, if he died having saved Myunghon... it'd be worth it. A wasted life for a life that still had a chance at happiness. They still had a chance to go to that concert with Shinobu, confess, care and be cared about.
That was important to him, even if it wasn't a guarantee, because it was something he could never have. In many ways, he lived through his friends, because in a year, he wouldn't be here anymore.
What would Akihiko think? Of who he was, what he'd done? They'd never get strong together. What would Mitsuru think? Of how he lied and how he sold secrets? They'd never graduate together. What would Umie think? Of how he hurt, of how he spent lives? He'd stop moving forward.
Tsubasa Seki didn't deserve to be there. They didn't deserve the consequences of everyone else's lives. Especially not Shinjiro's. No one deserved to be responsible for him in any way.
Why did he become active again? He was simply hurting people. Every mission, someone was at risk. Every mission, he was a jeopardy, a loose cannon, a... what did Ariel say? He was reckless.
And yet, he tried to live according to his ideals. Don't leave people behind. Don't break an oath. Gives others a chance to live, the one he no longer had.
Even so... the police couldn't be the ones to take him down. He never once thought he'd remain in prison or get sentenced. He'd be dead long before then.
Was Shinjiro Aragaki afraid of death?
Absolutely.
He was afraid of many things. Death. Pain. Losing his friends. Not being able to see his future. Fear ruled his life, ruled his actions, even if he wasn't a coward. Everything he had done in the last two years was an act of fear.
He event spent his future the minute he took those pills, after all.
But what was he supposed to do? Hurt someone else because he lost control, like he did with Yua Ooshiro? Take another life, like he did with Mrs. Amada?
Life was far too precious for someone like him to ever exist in it, after all. These people deserved something better... better than Shinjiro.
Eventually, Shinjiro's thoughts overwhelmed him, and he shut his eyes. Darkness eventually took over...
The familiar nightmare would play again. Castor, coming to visit. And once again...
He'd be unable to stand up to his other self and be honest.
Shinjiro needed help. He just simply didn't know how to ask for it.