2025-10-03: Birth and Death
- Log: Birth and Death
- Cast: Yua Ooshiro, Myunghon Yeo
- Where: Aoba - Penthouse
- OOC Date: 2025-10-03
- IC Date: Friday, July 20 2012
- Summary: Yua invites Myunghon up to the penthouse, and shares with them her exciting plans with Miho, including baby names! But... she discloses just why she went back into the closet, too, and through that horror learns that Myunghon considered a therapist -- and that Ishiba and their mother still haunt them.
- Content warning: Discussion of sexual abuse
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
Once Yua's gotten home -- and spent some time in Studio Chura -- she retreats up to the top of her tower, as any Queen ought; and she's invited Myunghon over, this evening. Tragically, today is one of those days where Miho's going to have to work late, so it's only Yua who's in the house when they arrive -- though naturally it's the maid who opens the door.
"Good evening, Yeo-san," Eiko Ikeda smiles, to them. "Ooshiro-san is just in the lounge. Will you be having wine, or something else?" She does not offer to take their coat. She knows better by now!
And there's Yua! With Tiger, splayed across her lap and also the next cushion on the couch. He's a Norwegian Forest Cat; o lawd, he's comin'. There are an assortment of rich person nibbles on the glass table in front of the fine leather couches, and a classic Western animation playing on the television. Yua won't apologise for liking those things as an adult! She's a very sensible adult.
"Myucchi!" Yua chirps greeting, sunny as ever. "Come, come. I have wanted to see you, but it has been rather impossible to pin you down of late!" Something about all their recent troubles.
She holds Tiger up, and he oooozes, in her arms. "Come say hi to meeee," she mimics Tiger's voice, as if he could speak.
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
It's been a while since Myunghon has visited over, though Remi did invite them to wine last night, something that they've found was a terrifying and yet fascinating substance indeed, even if they didn't understand all the romanticism So-young and Remi have over it. It's ethanol, a depressant, a psychoactive, and a carcinogenic?? Those are all true??
"Just water would be fine, thank you, Ikeda-san," Myunghon quietly responds, draped today in a white coat that Yua's seen before, but not terribly often. They have a chocolate-coloured ruffle blouse with a black ribbon tie with a brooch on it, an A-line white skirt, black leggings, and they take their shoes off by the time they appear into the living room, messenger bag slung over their shoulder.
"Yes, there has been... a lot of troubles... as of late," Myunghon tries to maintain their smile. They still have no idea what's happened to Tsubasa. The safehouse is compromised, though that one's already known to be marked by police before -- though it still has made Min-ho and several others deeply unhappy that, to their eyes, the boss has prioritised an outsider that brought the police to their livelihoods again. Auntie Taeyun was just deeply upset to see another youth she was taking care of hurt, wondering why this is happening all over again, generation after generation.
They have an easy smile, mask up, as they lean over to say, "Why, good evening, Tiger. This time, my belly is not up for assertion, I am afraid," Myunghon remarks, before taking a small plastic container out of their bag. Their arm is still in a sling.
"I... brought some baked goods for you, Yuarin. Would you like to try one?"
Myunghon?? Cooking???
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"Water for the young omen," Eiko affirms, as she heads to the kitchen to get it ready. (She really wasn't sure what to call Myunghon after she was told they were neither a man nor a woman, so she tried 'oman', and, well, it got mangled somewhere along the way. It's stuck now, though.)
And... ruffles! It's much nicer than Yua's around-the-house clothes, which are a nice blouse and skorts, unlike the leotards she wears outside. They're good for exercising in! And pottering around! The skorts are a bit too short to be taken to the streets, though.
"That is all the more reason to come here," Yua encourages them, when she hears of those troubles. She drapes Tiger back down, though, when Myunghon produces tupperware. "Oh..?"
Baked goods!
"Goodness!!" Yua exclaims, as she reaches for the container. "Baking, from Myucchi? I thought I would never see the day! Of course I wish to!" Since Myunghon's arm is in that sling, she opens it up --
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
... ... ... that's pretty good, honestly, Myunghon does rather appreciate wordplay, after all, and being called an omen feels a little in line with their thoughts with how they'd rather be mist or light -- just a natural phenomena that goes places to places, bringing disaster to all they touch. Of course, they're not sure if Eiko's throwing shade on them in that very polite way Japanese people sometimes do, but... well, even if they are, they probably deserve it.
Inside are... cookies! These are a bit more misshapen, since they didn't have Katsuya to perfectly form them into spheres that then melt into round cookies in the oven -- rather telltale the result of someone one-handed making them. It does look perfectly nice, though, the kind of standard chocolate chip cookie, and this time they even found proper chocolate chips instead of having to cut a chocolate bar up.
"I didn't have a taste-tester, but I followed the recipe before and Suou-san said that was fine..." Myunghon quietly slips down to sit as they gently spoil Tiger with their left hand.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
Luckily, Yua would be very cross with Eiko if she were throwing shade, so she's certainly being sincere.
(As a note, it's absolutely exhausting having Yua be cross with you.)
And... "Oh! Cookies!" Yua exclaims, holding one up. "They're so cute...!" Not misshapen at all, from another perspective. Yua goes, CHOMP, munch munch munch... "... mm! It's good! Nice work, Myucchiiii!!" She kicks her legs with delight, and Tiger goes mrowth and oozes over to go sit on Myunghon's lap, where he's less likely to get stimmed out of his nap.
"Suou, Suuu-ooouuuu..." Yua hums, as she puts a finger to her cheek. "... oh! The police officer!" He's a Sergeant, Yua, don't make that mistake twice. "But it couldn't be," she blinks, owlishly, "for wouldn't having a police officer in the kitchen be an awful lot of trouble?"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Yua's great cheer is always infectious to Myunghon, really -- even when they're feeling like everything in their life is falling apart, having people like Yanagi or Yua often at least makes them able to project themself onto other's happinesses. They place their hand to their lips with a soft smile as Yua approves, though.
"I wanted to be able to treat others, and... well -- there are a lot of hurdles to stovetop cooking, given my arms, but baking seemed more..." A pause. "Precise, in a way I understand. '35 minutes at 200 celsius' is something I understand far better than 'fry on both sides until done'." Myunghon will likely never be able to do much knifework without endangering themself, and there are still actions in baking that are quite difficult, but... the cookie hurdle is cleared!!
Adjusting themself to accomodate for Tiger's weight, they answer, "Ah... well, it was a complete accident, to be honest. I did not even know Suou-san was an accomplished baker, but he seemed to have an unusual passion for it. We were only meeting to discuss another topic. It is strange how you find out the most unusual things about people."
Myunghon tilts their head. "But you and Miho must be bouncing off the walls, the Olympics are soon, are they not? I imagine you've your plane tickets and plans all sorted by now."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"They say that baking is a science!" Yua affirms, with that same sparkling cheer. "It always helps when Mimi's here if I want to bake a cake, because she lets me know the minute the minute is up! If she's not around, I just have to stare at a timer intensely... jiiiiiiii..." Yua sighs, as she does, indeed, sound out the onomatopoeia for staring.
Tiger is so heavy. And Eiko is here, with sparkling water (plus a slice of lemon) for the themby, and pomegranate juice for the lady! Which is new, for Yua; usually, on an evening like this when she's having her friends over, she'll have red wine just like Miho.
Tonight, she's... not drinking...??
"Oh, so you're acquainted!" Yua exclaims. "I'm surprised... perhaps I ought to approach him, too!" Surely it won't be awkward? She only set Katsuya up to die that one time. It's not like he could know it was her! Then again, "... or maybe not," Yua sighs, again.
Luckily, she was in disguise, so there's no* way** Myunghon knows she was party to his assassination attempt either.
Their disguise is SO subtle, you guys.
And it's a lucky thing Tiger decided to flop on Myunghon's lap, because there Yua's legs go again, kicking in delight. "Eee! It's just a week away! And we've so much to do! Oh, I hope I can get it sorted before we leave...!"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
"Mmm... that is a nice way to put it. Perhaps that is why it appeals more," Myunghon doesn't sound like they've heard of that expression, but the precision in the recipes they've found are soothing. They like 35g of sugar, 7g of salt as opposed to two teaspoons of soy sauce and a cup of flour, after all. But Yua shares the woes of watching a timer lapse and they can't help but chuckle softly. "Hmm. The little toaster oven I borrowed has a glass window, so it is enjoyable to see the cookies shape in real time..."
Myunghon thanks Eiko for the water -- though they don't touch the lemon -- and sips. But they look at the juice Yua is having, crossing their legs gently at the knee, while still supporting and propping Tiger up. "No wine for you tonight, Yuarin? The last night, Remi made me try some wine... it's fearsome. ... I think I might have lightly upset her heritage when I started talking about ethanol, though."
Yua's spirits are a little dampened by her hesitance to approach Katsuya. "... I think he is a forthright man, I'm sure it'll be all right." A little too forthright, at times, perhaps, but that's part of the appeal of Katsuya Suou too, is their way of encouraging her if she really does want to, since...
... well, they can see through the disguise, but Katsuya seems like the kind of person who wouldn't put two and two together until it was absolutely necessary. It's not that he's dumb, he just seems like... he believes in the best in people. Yes, that's the polite way to put it.
"Can I assist in any way, Yuarin? I know Tiger will be cared for with Ikeda-san here, but if you need any other arrangements..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"You are a very exact person, Myucchi! You and Mimi are the same, like that!" Yua knows they have a complicated relationship, but she's supportive of them, anyway. "Oh, a glass window! Thank the Hinukan, we have one, too! And a little light inside, so I can see in without opening it up... if you ever want to use our kitchen to make something bigger, please just come right over, Myucchi!" Yua might have a much nicer oven than a toaster oven, but she's at least willing to share.
"But I warn yooooou," she adds, with a spooky cast to her voice, "you'll need... to pay... the TOLL...!!" Doom settles over them, for a moment, before she giggles. "... but don't worry! Tiger's treats are kept in the wicker basket, so you should be able to make it through!"
Oh. The toll is their cat.
Toll isn't really the word for him, Yua, he's more LORGE...
She takes up the pomegranate juice, smiling. "Oh, no. I must get myself used to not drinking alcohol, is all! It is very important!" Yua's banned from alcohol...?
She considers Katsuya first, though. "Well, if Myucchi vouches for him... I'm sure he's a good man!" Yua decides, smiling, though of course the problem was never what measure of a man he is.
Myuuuuchhiiiiii you're CHEATING you knew about yu and mi BEFORE...
"Right now, I'm okay," Yua shakes her head. "It's just, later -- and I wanted to talk to you about that!" She takes another cookie and nomphs on it, to give her a moment to think of how to put it.
"... Mimi and I went to see her father," Yua smiles, a moment later. "With a grand proposal...! We wish to be wed, Myucchi. We wish to start a family! And you know what, you know what? He said he'd work something out!" Her hands, free of cookie once more, clap together. "We've been going to a fertility clinic... we found a donor from Okinawa, and I'm going to carry Mimi's egg in me! I'm gonna have her baby!! If it's all gone right, they'll be implanting the first round in just a couple of days...!"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Myunghon hides the flinch well when Yua compares them to Miho. Gnawing thoughts are grasping underneath them as they say things like 'yeah, you'd be alike if you were successful like Miho, with a loving wife, a powerful body, a lavish penthouse with servants, an Olympic track record...'. Fortunately, nothing's going to dent that mask for them today. "That is true, I've always preferred it when things have precision," they admit.
Yua does offer to lend them the use of her oven, and they've seen it before -- it is a much, much nicer oven. They might be able to bake twenty cookies at once. "I would like that, sometime. I was also missing a lot of tools that would have made it easier. Suou-san was positively aghast I was trying to cream butter and sugar with a fork... but that should be much easier to solve than an oven."
But the toll!! "... ah, and here I was going to ask what treats you really like I should make for you next, Yuarin. It would be nice to have a goal." Don't worry, Tiger will get all the treats he wants.
Yua's off alcohol now? Did something change, like medication...? She's okay now, though Myunghon does listen with some concern on their expression. Was there bad medical news? But Yua elaborates further, and they went to see Miho's father with a grand proposal... a wedding! A family!
Myunghon's singular eye widens. "I-- well, now that is a huge step forward, now is it not? I would've never imagined you'd obtain such support, but... I'm quite pleased to hear that." Miho does get what she wants, doesn't she? The sinister voices just seem to egg them further, but speaking of eggs.
"I-- wait--" Myunghon shortcircuits for a moment, but then this is the worst time to flashback to 'in the middle of making out, a week ago' as one of the first crash courses they've had as to what sex ed actually IS and how mortified and embarrassed they are to not know any of it. Their cheeks are flush as they cover their hand to their mouth, though they keep a smile on, as always.
They try to push their lack of knowledge in that domain aside. Just jump to the practical effect, which is: "S-so you will have a... baby?" they say with all the guile of someone who probably still believes baby is delivered by stork.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
Accept the compliment, Myunghon!!!
Luckily, they at least accept it on the surface, and so they are spared Yua's terrible pout.
"Oh, yes!" Yua says, cheerfully. "We have plenty of tools! Please borrow them whenever you like! It is very hard with a fork." Yua scratches at a cheek, as she admits: "Though, doing it with a fork when I was younger did make me appreciate the tools a lot more..."
Yua wasn't always fabulously wealthy. Except, perhaps, in the friend category, since she's had some excellent friends for some time. Like Myunghon, who offers to make treats for her! "Moi? Mes friandises? Treats for Yua-chan?" Her legs kick languidly, as she thinks. "Ahhh... I really miss cinsukoo!!" She decides, after a moment. "Can you make me some...?"
(That's the Okinawan word for chinsuko, but luckily, Yua's used it around Myunghon before.)
She tilts her head, examining Myunghon's reaction as their brain goes 'bzzzt'. "Hmmm..." She says, tapping her finger to her lip. (Her nails are short, again, because she's taken the fake ones off.) "That's right, you've never had to know about clinics, right? It's okay! I'll tell you!"
oh no it's happening
"When a couple can't conceive normally, a woman can have her eggs extracted, you see," Yua pats her flank, helpfully, to indicate roughly where that is. "Because you must be able to fertilise an egg in order to have a baby, no? And if there's an issue with the man causing them to fail to have children, they can access a donor in order to fertilise it. Ge-ennnnerally," she sounds this word out, and now she's pouting, "since it's not accepted to have a child alone, you need a boyfriend or a husband to access it... and specifically a man, it's nonsense!" POUT. "But since Mimi comes from an influential family, we've told them that my situation is a secret, and they just accept that I'll be taken care of... you know, that does happen, with families which need to be careful about the media."
She gives Myunghon a moment to absorb that, and then goes on to add: "Of course, if a woman cannot carry a baby herself, she can also ask another woman to do it for her! When that happens, one woman's eggs are implanted into another woman. We call it a 'surrogate pregnancy'. So the baby I'll have won't have come from me genetically, but I'll carry them in my body. Mimi worked hard to make her body perfect, so it would be very hard for her to go through all those changes... which is why I've volunteered, so that she can have a child to pass her knowledge to! And they will be my child as well, for I'll have carried them all that time...!"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
"I do get pretty sore easily," Myunghon admits, thinking of how hard it was with a fork, but Yua also shares that she's done it with a fork back before she had access to all kinds of wonderful tools. "Oh, cinsuko..." since Myunghon is a chameleon that tends to repeat what people say as they pick up the tonal differences, rather than immediately regress back to Japanese. "That's right. I think you brought some back in high school. Those biscuits? I remember liking them..."
But now, they won't be able to tell the flavour again. But that's okay, there must be a recipe online, somewhere. "It's a promise, then."
But Myunghon's lack of knowledge is exposed, and Yua-sensei is here to explain!!
It doesn't take long for Myunghon to connect it to the experiences they HAVE had because they're inevitably the type to hyperresearch things like 'why am I bleeding and aching so badly down there' even if actual sex ed was something that they've still managed to miss out on, because society can be sex-negative in that way a lot of times. It is nonsense that you need a guy's sperm to have a baby, though, but the arrangement here is...
A part of them is definitely surprised Miho's dad accepted to an arrangement like this. Is this the kind of thing you can get away with when you're assertive and influential enough?
"I... yes, given how much you've had trouble even being able to admit it in public, I had worried about that angle..." Because society does suck and public perceptions have the most savage of knives, as much as people say to be yourself and not worry about one's place in it.
But the topic of being able to implant eggs onto another is beyond even Myunghon's special interests, especially when intimacy was a dead topic to them until just recently. But this plan does make sense... on some level. Families are often obsessed about pedigree, and if it were Miho's eggs fertilised, that would hold more credibility, even if another woman were to be holding it. Something is twisting inside of Myunghon (not eggs) at the idea, of all the hoops they have to go through, but at the same time it's....
Kind of nice? It feels like a way to get what they want, a wedge that they've found, a slice against society.
"Oh, Yuarin..." Myunghon whispers. "So you'll truly be having Miho-in's baby... you're making Yua Ijuuin happen for you," is the way they find themself saying it, remembering those little notes back in high school. Not that childbirth must be the mark in which a marriage must happen, but this IS the plan they've chosen. They smile, paying close attention so the smile is perfect. "Congratulations, is I think the word in order."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"Yes!" Yua affirms, delighted. "I'll give you mama's recipe!" Which at least means that Myunghon will get the taste right, so long as they can enact the science.
(Fun fact: Yua is pretty free with her mother's recipes, but she only offers them to people she thinks her mother would like. Of course, she knows for a fact that her mother likes Myunghon. They came to dinner plenty of times when they were kids, and the Okinawan family were very supportive of 'her'... though she's since informed them that their pronouns have changed. Papa Ooshiro was a little confused, but gamely adapted... and even Yume agreed to not be a little shit about it, even if she rolled her eyes about how all Yua's friends were weird and gay.)
"I've been really scared of people thinking we're weird a-and -- perverted," and if Yua struggles around that language, it might be her own sex negativity. That's a plausible explanation. ... even though Yua's never been particularly negative about sex. "But if I were truly Mimi's wife... people wouldn't say we were just degenerate, right? Because we made a promise, just like them!" This is, of course, far too optimistic for reality, but Yua at least seems convinced that marriage will confer legitimacy onto them. "I'm scared of people being weird about it, but it's hard to keep it hidden, too... and I don't want Mimi to feel ashamed of herself, either."
But, indeed, that the child shall be biologically Miho's is surely a factor here, particularly given the weight of the name Ijuuin. There's an unkind accusation that could be levied at Yua, here, but surely no one would be so cruel. Miho would have words with them if they were.
And Yua worked very hard to find a way around their struggles. She made a binder. An entire notebook!!
"Mhm, mhm!" Yua hums, happily, clasping her hands together. "We'll probably need Mimi's father to adopt me to get me onto the registry, but... I'll still be Yua Ijuuin!! And I have a plan, too!" She wags a finger, as she explains: "If it's a boy -- I'm praying for a boy -- I'm going to name him 'Hiroki'! It's a different reading of the same characters... so it's like I'll carry my family name into my new family, anyway!"
Her hands clap to her cheeks, and her legs kick with delight. "Eeee!!"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Myunghon looks rather delighted. Having the trust to have Mama Ooshiro's recipe feels like a level of trust above what was present before. "... that does relieve me. If I have a recipe, then I can produce what is expected," which sounds very clinical to an outsider's view, but a great comfort to someone as exacting as Myunghon, as Yua observed just now in how Miho-like they can be.
But Myunghon also knows Yua's concerns over how people perceive her -- after all, they remember the conversations about the Lions and Lionesses, bleeding on the floor as they were at the time. "They are, of course, wrong to think that," Myunghon does affirm, because they can affirm that much. "But I know how... knowing they are wrong does not stop that fear at times..."
Because they've been vulnerable to that too. They feel like they're nothing but vulnerable on the social stage at this time. There is something within the logic of how if she is Miho's wife, people won't think that, and how that ties in to the concepts of seken (society) and ie (family) that rankle Myunghon so much, as it did their favourite authors decades ago... but again, they can't help but think of how the subterfuge is clever.
And once more, a binder has set them free. Not the same kind of binder, though.
"Hiroki... oh, yes, I see," Myunghon does chuckle, immediately getting the wordplay. "The 'oo' and the 'shiro' are read differently, but you'll have Ooshiro within the Ijuuin tree. That's the kind of thing historians will laud centuries down the line," Myunghon chuckles, beacuse of course they enjoy a bit of cleverness like that.
They watch Yua's delight, however, and while the pleasure they feel in how big a moment this is for both Yua and Miho is genuine, something does creep within themself. The kind that wonders what it is they're missing that they can't meet the perfect, special person that doesn't seem to exist for them -- surrounded by so many people that don't desire commitment, that wish to remain free and unfettered... listening to Yua's grand plan, it's easy to see why Shinobu and Tsumugi choose instead to opt out. Because working in the darkness under the system is to acknowledge the system, the family tree, society...
...
"Have you thought of a name for if your baby is a girl?" Myunghon does wonder, since they at least they know these things aren't something you can PLAN for.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"You'll do great!" Yua encourages them, in turn. The recipe will be hand-written, and the handwriting WILL be adorable.
"I'm scared because it happened," Yua admits, and it might be that she's talking about the bullying she received at school, but...
Yua was out of the closet, back then.
She's always wanted to be Miho's family, though -- even if that means adjusting herself to society to get there. (Which might explain why she offered to honour Miho's direction, rather than expecting Miho to fulfill the expectations of a Japanese wife.) It's just as she told Yukari, earlier this afternoon -- if she has autonomy in just who she gives her decisions over to, that's an entirely different thing to being forced into it.
"Haha... it's funny, isn't it? Someone like me very well much be mentioned in those books, just because of who Mimi's father is!" Yua pauses, and adds: "I hope they say nice things," quite seriously, because imagine if the history books were mean to her? She'd be too dead to march up and give those stuffy academics a piece of her mind...!
Yua, certainly, is not opting out of society; in a way, she might be accused of doing something more violent still, making her effort to force society to cleave to her.
... but then, is that really all that different than the kind of logic which drives them to reach their True World?
"A girl, a girl... mmm... not yet!" Yua admits, tilting her head this way and that in thought. "Maybe something like... 'Musubi', or 'Miako', or 'Aiho'..."
YUA YOU CAN'T JUST MASH THE KANJI OF YOUR AND MIHO'S NAMES TOGETHER TO MAKE A NAME FOR YOUR DAUGHTER
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Yua does admit that it has happened, that people called her weird and perverted, and it brings to mind some of the shifts that they've noticed happened to Yua in high school. As much as they tried to circle the wagons and support each other, high schools are large open places and it's impossible to be everywhere at once... especially with the pressures and responsibilities placed on them at the time. It's all so easy for people to be singled out in high school. Just like society, a microcosm of it.
"... was it... during high school?" Myunghon does lean gently forward, since they don't know the story of what happened afterwards. They feel a note of unease, like they're stepping on uncomfortable territory -- and they don't want to collapse the good mood they have at present. They stop to reach for their water again, to recentre themself.
"But... I'm certain if legends were written the both of you..." A pause. "Well, I can only hope that future historians are more open-minded. But even if not, relationships like the both of you have are the type that future queerfolk will look at despite how hard people will try to erase it and be inspired by." It sounds almost like excessive flattery, but Myunghon does acknowledge and believe it -- because Yua and Miho's relationship is the closest thing to an ideal in their head for what a successful long-term relationship is like. One in which they don't exist.
"Miako... that is rather a nice name, if I had to pick," Myunghon does admit. They pick up the combined kanjis together, and... why not? Names have strong meaning, and it's important to pick the ones that mean the most to you.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
Well, there were plenty of people who were cruel during high school; Yua ran through the calls crying 'Mimi, Mimi' and leapt into her arms, in public, and of course most of the student body disapproved of that. ... as well as most of the teachers. No wonder, perhaps, she'd advise Yukari that the official response to bullying might not be sufficient.
Still, Myunghon asks, and Yua shakes her head. "Um..." She starts, lacing her hands together. "It... isn't something I've told anyone... aside from Mimi. Mm, but I can tell you, but... it's a rather sad story, you know...?"
Maybe Myunghon would prefer to keep discussing babies, which is, of course, Yua's new favourite subject.
She smiles, though, when Myunghon insists their tale will be inspiring. "I hope to inspire them long before I'm dead," she says. "If Ijuuin-san can find a way through... surely it won't just work for us!" It might just work for them, and of course Yua won't deny that kind of solution, but wouldn't it be nice if it worked for other people too?
(Even if it only works for rich people.)
Yua, of course, remains insistent that Myunghon ought to exist, because this Myunghon has never wronged them.
"Isn't it a lovely name?" Yua asks, still smiling. "My grandpa had a tradition of naming all his children with a 'yu' sound, since he and Grandmother shared it... and when my mom nicknamed my dad like that, he refused to go by anything else!" Yua giggles, thinking of it. "So combining names is tradition, really..."
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Yua looks distressed, and Myunghon feels like they were right on their instinct. "... you could, but... if it is unpleasant, I would rather not take away from the triumph we are feeling at present. That said, you know that I am discreet, and will not tell another soul."
It doesn't really feel like something they can or should probe on their own initiative. It's been a hell of a month to be on eggshells, and they can't help but dispel the feeling like they'll say something wrong here too and suddenly have Yua be mad at them, like Shinjiro, and So-young, and Shinobu... they're a mess.
But Yua has many plans to be inspirational before she's dead, and they can't help but be cozy with a smile at that. "You already are to me, but you knew that. Without you, there is ample doubt I would even be sitting here before you calling myself Myunghon." Maybe they'd still be Myorei... would they still have refused to disobey their father? Would they have left Mei, or would they have accepted her?
It's hard to dwell on the what-ifs. Sometimes, they're simply too powerful.
Sorry, Yua, but the death-wish is truly powerful, even if their found family has grown. Still, it's been a while since their last hit of the stuff!
"There are a lot of nice 'yu'... courage, gentleness... he picked well," Myunghon nods. "I never really asked how mine came about. Well, Yeo I embraced because it was my grandmother's surname, a name she brought from a homeland that doesn't exist in the same shape anymore nowadays..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
Yua shakes her head, after a moment's pause. "... no, I... can," she decides, slowly, "Mimi assures me the shame is not mine. Just... give me a moment."
Though saying that much is a terrible portent, really.
First she wants to address Myunghon's feelings; she wants to be able to smile, for them. "Myunghon is an excellent name," she says, and even uses the whole thing for once in her life, though just because she's making a point. "Though," she adds, smile spreading, "you'll always be 'Myucchi' to me!"
(That's a 'u' sound, not an 'o' sound. Subtle difference, but it's important.)
Yua will eat the death wish. Just don't ask how she awakened to her Persona, that will be some real egg on her face.
"Yeo is a good name, too," Yua smiles. "I can see why you'd keep it close to you. That's surely part of why I'm praying so much for a boy... there aren't any girl's names which read the kanji another way. It was actually a hard decision for me, joining a Japanese family... but I've been thinking of it since high school, so it wasn't one I got stuck on, either."
Something that's hard and easy at the same time, maybe.
Yua takes another cookie, nibbling on it as her gaze drops down to Tiger, now snoozing on Myunghon's lap. "Tsk... lazy boy," she admonishes him, though her tone is gentle. ... it's more that she's filling time.
Bracing.
"... a psychologist was seeing me," she explains, her voice deceptively mild, "after I left high school, I mean." And there's only one place she could have been, between then and her rescue. "There were many things I disclosed, to her, but... she grew a sick fascination. She wanted to... know all about it... she'd always have these awful, lecherous comments. She began to sit beside me when she demanded the details... um, w-with Mimi, I mean."
Her hands slip up, to grasp at her arms. "One day, she told me she wanted to try it for herself... and I really can't describe it, this awful look... oh, I knew why she'd tell me that. I fell quite ill, and at least I never saw that woman again... but when my doctor saw to me, she was angry I'd have an affair which ruined her career... oh, she wanted to know what I thought Mimi would think, that I'd say such salacious things!" She takes a breath in through her nose, and presses her lips together, tightly, for a moment.
"Of course, Mimi was furious," Yua says, her voice small, "but she wasn't angry at me. Mm, and it's really a small thing... she was just saying things, just asking... s-she never touched me, you understand. Even so, I felt dirtied... though Mimi insisted it wasn't so. A--and now, each time I think to declare myself, I think, who will call me sick and twisted as they enact their morbid fascination? That woman, she called me deviant... even as she demanded to know. T-to be -- some object of twisted satisfaction as I am derided for my moral failings -- I cannot bear it!"
... no wonder she dove right back into the closet, when she came back.
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Myunghon does quietly reach forward -- with their one good hand, to hold onto Yua's, because when they were falling apart in distress at the White Room, the hospital, Yua also did the same for them. They're not sure if they're as good at calming gestures as Yua was for them, but they're going to try nonetheless.
"It might be dramatic, but I really feel as if Myunghon might not have survived today without you encouraging me. It was our precious secret," Myunghon affirms. "I was always upset how my father wanted to get rid of Yeo... it's a little of my own rebellion against him." Of course, the fact that Yua's plan involves infiltrating a Japanese family system with her own does make them think about their own family tree and how one side of it was discarded. After everything they've heard of what their grandmother went through, it feels like a betrayal.
But... Yua does gather the courage, after some time-buying. Thank you, Tiger.
A psychologist was seeing them -- and that already puts Myunghon on edge, like they already know why it turned horrible. And there was only one place they could've gone to, given all the phone calls deflecting about where she'd went... the Blacksite. But the psychologist had developed a fascination with them, a sick one -- and she was full of awful, lecherous comments, and started to sit beside her with all these awful comments...
...
For a moment, Mei Arisugawa enters their mind again, as they sit beside them, whispering of how they're their sweet doll. It unhinges them for a moment and they flinch, and they have to double their effort to remain in reality. Yua continues -- she wanted to try it herself, but they know where the other side of that sentence lies. An awful look... Myunghon can only use their own experiences to imagine it. The looks Mei used to have...
... of course, they know they can't conflate the two, and it isn't quite the same situation, and yet, there's undeniable similarities for them here, that they keep quiet underneath the mask.
"... when you said we're the doctors' victims, I didn't know to what degree..." Myunghon sounds pained. "They've been trying to get me to see another psychotherapist, but I know that such unpleasant experiences commonly exist. I don't trust therapists. But to hear it such is..." They squeeze Yua's hand, gently -- their own grip strength is dismal. That's all they can manage.
"You and I both know words can cut and disturb us deeply. That's all doctors often do, cut us with words and judgements. But-- but she has no power over you any longer. You are here, with us, with Miho..." Oh, why is Tsumugi next invading their brain?
"You are no deviant, Yuarin. I know how the world seeks to label anything that it finds inconvenient 'deviant'... we are the ones with true power here, and it is up to us to make them see it."
If only they could actually act upon those words, instead of gently tiptoe around it, like a moth dancing about a flame. If they are to be burnt, why should they not wholeheartedly embrace it?
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
Yua slips her hand into Myunghon's, grasping it, tightly. "I am glad. A little rebellion... sometimes, these are the most important ones to hold."
Like an Olympic trading card, held tightly. Her most valuable possession -- arguably, her only true possession -- in Myunghon's hands, now.
Yua doesn't know about Mei, but seeing that look on Myunghon's face, she knows they've some personal way to sympathise. The degree is high to scalding, though -- as Yua's voice lifts with alarm. "You mustn't!" She cries, clasping their hand in both of hers. "Vile creatures such as they will only gouge your soul open, rip and tear! Do not seek out a monster who would demand your secrets from you, use you to edify their own curiosity!"
Don't talk to cops? Don't talk to therapists.
"I--I don't know what became of her," Yua says, tears welling in her eyes, as much in fear for Myunghon as for her own pity. "She was -- quietly moved to another project for her indiscretions, I think -- t-that's what their comments aught amount to. I'm always scared... I'll see her again... how could I have a scrap of power, then?"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Yua's seen Myunghon play with that card, when they think no one's around, when they're really nervous -- it's how much of a grip both she and Miho have on them, no matter how complicated it becomes. Yua's lifting voice startles them at first, but the way in which Yua affirms their belief has them nodding, their hands clasped as if in warmth and agreement and truth.
"I agree. Doctors are the enemy," they murmur, cold and guarded. "And therapists are the worst. They're all trained to spool everything out of you, like -- like a curiousity, yes, as you say. And even when they pretend to be comforting and helpful, they're only out to change your mindset to suit their own needs..."
... like Tsumugi is?
But Yua shares that she is afraid that she'll run into that psychotherapist again, that she's still alive, she was just shuffled over, for her indiscretions. Myunghon's throat is dry, as they murmur, "That awful policeman... Ishiba, all that happened to him was a suspension and movement to someplace else. But I think more happened than just what was said, because he has not harrassed me since that day I... well."
They're being careful here, since they know they have to maintain the illusion that Yua wasn't in charge of saying 'dibsies' to the Ezoe Gang, but that carefulness comes naturally to them. "I am still jumping at shadows sometime, as if he or mother could be there... but... we must try. If only for Miho, if only for the other, stronger people in our lives..."
This is reaching dangerous territory that's starting to unravel them, and they have to keep the mask still and intact. Say the name without fear.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"Therapists are twisted," Yua insists, still a touch panicked, though at least reassured by Myunghon's wisdom. "Only twisted people would demand those things of strangers!"
And if Yua is acting from a place of panic, well, she certainly can't see that. She's only got the one good eye, and it's all teary, right now.
Still, her scowl darkens, as Myunghon shares their worries about Ishiba. "You won't be able to sleep until you're certain, will you...?" She asks them, and tries to ask gently, despite how shaken she feels.
... she may need to press Miho to advance their schedule, despite the risks of moving too soon.
"But..." Concern creases her pretty brow, because she heard that, as much as it might have passed sight unseen. "What of her, Myucchi...?"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
In truth, they've likely got a bit of a feedback loop going, because Yua's panic is also infectious to Myunghon, who despite all their beliefs in being masked is incredibly impressionable and prone to others' moods around them. But even in this state, it's not lost what's behind Yua's words. Their blood freezes for a moment as they realise they hold some of that 'power' at present, to essentially be able to demand, indirectly, the execution of their harrasser, on multiple fronts.
It's a power not unlike the one Myorei Yukichi had. A few fingerstrokes of the keyboard, a few corroborating documents, and just like that... someone ceases to be. A killer without a knife or gun, just a spreadsheet.
They try to centre themself, trembling and shaking now. "I... am not letting him have more power over me. I do not want to be someone who can only live when the people that shake them are dead," is the best they can manage, perhaps trying in their own way, but knowing that that power is also ultimately not at their fingertips. This feels horrendous, though. They had been able to step away from having Ishiba have so much control over them. But now, if they heard what happened to him, they're going to inextricably link it back to this moment...
But-- they've slipped in a different way. What about their mother? Oh no. Oh no no no.
They can't. If they tip their hand here, it gives the NWO information, and that, mother will see as a direct betrayal. "... I apologise, Yuarin, it has been... difficult with mother, with So-young entering the picture, and knowing all but explicitly which of us she favours. I feel in no uncertain terms she wishes to be rid of me, knowing how cold the relationship between her and father is."
There. It's technically the truth, just an incomplete and carefully worded one. It took all the effort to not spill like they did with Umie and Shinjiro, which likely has had ramifications since then too. Of course, Yua might still very well be able to read between the lines, given the immediate prior context of who they lumped mother with.
"This... this is about you tonight, though," Myunghon tries to topic-switch them, because they really both could use it. "Would you tell me about your mother's chinsuko recipe? I want to celebrate -- you, Miho, the Olympics, the ways in which we've earned our wins, Yuarin."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ooshiro has posed.
"I see..." Yua frowns, with concern. She knows little of Myunghon's past life as a killer; what she knows, instead, is that they sound disturbed by the idea of bearing his death. "I -- I am sorry," and Yua thinks Myunghon won't know what she's apologising for, realising that she's given them a disturbing thought. "But someone like that... you may not be the only one whose forgiveness is at issue."
She squeezes their hand, as she insists: "But I know you would not wish for the death of another, Myucchi. You're better than you think, you know...?"
Maybe they don't need to know everything.
"How terrible," she murmurs, when Myunghon picks around the topic of their mother. "No mother should wish to be rid of her child... it galls me even more, now." Now she's trying to become a mother herself, that is. "And after your father, too... Myucchi, though they're cruel to you, know you are always welcome here." Are they? Yua insists they are, and there's no lie upon her face. "Please -- seek us out if ever we may aid you."
There's a thread of alarm crossing over her eyes when Myunghon insists it's about her, though -- perhaps the spotlight is more nervewracking, given the topic -- though she at least relaxes when Myunghon asks for a recipe instead of her feelings. "O--of course!" Yua starts, putting on a fragile smile. "I -- I'll just get a notepad, one moment..."
She hurries off to the kitchen to fetch one. Perhaps she'll take a moment, but... perhaps Myunghon can forgive her that.
They're not the only one wearing a mask.