2025-11-02: Past and Future Partners

• Log: Past and Future Partners
• Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Ichika Kawase
• Where: Kawase Household
• OOC Date: 2025-11-02
• IC Date: Saturday, August 04 2012
• Summary: Tsubasa heads to the Kawase Household, just in time for dinner... and afterwards, Ichika reveals the ultimatium Eiji's issued her over their own wellbeing. Tsubasa struggles with the idea of disappearing, but insists that they'll help Ichika, too -- though she does make them promise not to assault the Palace alone. Once Ichika has a chance to clear her own head, though, she notices the way Tsubasa discussed their own worth... and a discussion on their frayed self-worth over their body image and despair over the difficulties of surgery with their body leads to Ichika confessing her feelings to Tsubasa. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, but not just friends, either -- they realise their best friendship is a new, third thing.

---

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        Straight after their exams, Tsubasa took care of the things they needed to in Sumaru -- and then showed up, Lance in tow, as the sun was going down that day. They had a huge backpack slung over their back with their clothes and makeup and wigs all stuffed into it, and another bag slung over their shoulder with a blanket and other things for Lance. (They brought one of their blankets for her to sleep on, they explain, so she won't freak out sleeping in the laundry instead of with them for a couple weeks.) There was a little time for them to give a proper greeting and get set up in the study where they'll nominally be sleeping, and then...

        Well, then they had dinner, obviously. By then it was dinner time, and Tsubasa made an excellent show at not getting weird and emotional about having dinner with a family for the first time in years.

        But after THAT, it's time to head up to Ichika's room--!!

        "Uh, hey," Tsubasa says, as they amble over to perch on the edge of her bed. "I was thinkin', like... uh, ain't like I can really call you... y'know..." The Boss of the gang in front of her dad, and they're not even about to say it here because WHAT IF MRS ICHIKA'S MOM IS LISTENING IN BEHIND THE DOOR. "So, uh... I mean, I was thinkin'..."

        They kind of look down at their lap where they're fiddling with their fingers as they're trying to work it out; they've soundly covered up their skin enough to obscure their cheeks, so the blush isn't terribly apparent, but Ichika might be able to tell anyway. You know. There's a few subtle vocal cues.

        "W-would it be cool if I, uh... if I called you Ichika? Or-- or would that, y'know, would it be too, like..." When they finally manage to spit it out, it's clear why they might be nervous; the boy who calls them Ichika yobisute right now is hardly someone she'd like to be reminded of, and affection aside, that's the last guy Tsubasa wants to remind her of.

        Which might explain why it took them this long and an environmental excuse to even ask.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Ichika was happy to have Tsubasa over; she helped Tsubasa put away their things, pet Lance, pet Lance some more, and make sure everything is all set up. Lance will get to run around, but not at dinner, and Tsubasa will be responsible if she makes a mess anywhere.

Dinner was lovely. Ichika didn't comment on Tsubasa's weird emotions.

But now...

Ichika's room has a bed, of course--but it's unlike her dorm room in a number of ways. While her dorm room is cool and tough, Ichika's old bedroom has a big poster of a beautiful mountain landscape, a nice calendar, a couple of smaller musician posters...

It's a very ordinary, not at all delinquent room. There's a desk with a chair, the bed, the nightstand, and a big closet--which is partially open at the moment, a small altar peeking out at the corner.

And...

Tsubasa speaks up.

Mrs. Ichika's Mom knows a lot better than to listen in behind the door when Ichika has company, even if it's not Like That with Tsubasa. ...But Ichika is listening, all right. She can tell. There's some subtle enough cues.

Ichika steps over, and stands before Tsubasa, listening. They were thinking...

Ichika looks a little surprised at the request--but then she realizes why they'd be nervous.

...after a few more moments, Ichika smiles. Her own face is easier to spot; she's wearing her usual makeup, but that doesn't obscure her features much.

"Yeah," Ichika says. "You can call me by my name. That's OK."

"...It's not 'too' anything. It's OK. I'd like you to."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        Luckily, Lance is a very smart girl, and she's used to living in a very small kennel, so she's unlikely to cause much disaster. Witness: a dog who is aware of the devastation of her wagging tail.

        (Most of the time.)

        "It is? I-I mean -- ya would?" Tsubasa looks up at Ichika -- and, well, they are trying not to be too intimidating here, sitting down and all, so they're looking a good ways up -- but they smile, too, when they registers that she'd like them to say it like that. "T--that's great! An', an' I mean, uh, if -- if you wanted, it's cool if you wanna too, like... jus' if you wanna."

        Tsubasa is famously a very hands-off sort of guy, but Ichika is an exception; her tireless months of hard work have seen Tsubasa going from offering her a hug here under extreme circumstances to seeking out contact with her. It's been slow going, but they've really opened up!!

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Most of the time!!

But Ichika smiles at Tsubasa a little more warmly. It's not a big smile; it's a soft one, instead, black-painted lips slightly parted. "I will," Ichika confirms, and then moves to sit down next to Tsubasa--and, if she's not stopped, wrap arms around them and give them a big hug.

"I'd really like that, actually."

Hard work!! And hugs!

Ichika is warm today; she's worried about a lot of things...

But just this moment, it's a good day.

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        And indeed, Tsubasa does not stop her. Is this the true power of Ichika? The power... to get Tsubasa to wrap their arms around her and hug her back, their smile growing in the process. "That's great... Ichika," they say, and it's a little hesitant and awkward, because they're not half as cool as they pretend they are most of the time, but they're clearly very happy about it. "'Cuz I'd super like that, too."

        Sure, they saw a man die just a few days prior. And that sucks, like, a lot. But you know what doesn't suck? Ichika. Things are pretty good when Ichika's around.

        "Man," they're still smiling, as they look to her, "I'm real glad ya folks let me come out here wit' ya. Iwatodai's gon' be way cooler hangin' out with you, Ichika." There!! See??? They did it again! Isn't that great?! (They don't say that last part, but the affectionate smile on their face is saying a lot despite it.)

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

The true power of Ichika...

It's hesitant, but it's nice to hear. "Cool," Ichika answers. "I want you to tell me stuff you'd like, Tsubasa."

Yes, there's a lot of things that are bad right now. Ichika can think of a few more, even. ...She'll have to talk about it.

"I'm glad, too," she says. "Yeah! And like..."

"I mean, I'm not gonna have someone over all the time, so... maybe you can stick with me sometimes. I know you've got the whole study, but..."

But Ichika'd really like it if Tsubasa stuck around her room sometimes, too.

...There is, though, something...

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Yeah," Tsubasa smiles. "You're cool like that... I wanna know what you'd like, too." She cares about what they want! She values their preferences!!

        And one thing she'd like, perhaps... "... yeah?" Tsubasa asks, as she trails off, their heart quickening in their chest. It's different, but it's still... "That'd be cool," they hasten to decide. "Means I can watch your back, yeah? An'... y'know, it... it's nice." Ichika isn't the only one who feels safer through the arrangement, though Tsubasa's a little more shy to advance: "... I like it, too."

        They take another moment to examine her, though; their brow draws in with thought. "You... need someone watchin' ya back more now, yeah?" They venture, with concern. "That... jus' the holidays? Or..."

        There is something, and they can tell.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Ichika nods back, and gives Tsubasa a squeeze. "I'll tell you about it."

Ichika hears Tsubasa's haste. She's not sure if that means this is OK to ask or not. Still, "It is nice," Ichika agrees. "And... I trust you." Tsubasa likes it, too. Isn't it OK, then? But...

Ichika hugs Tsubasa closer, and then moves to pull back, making to stand back up again and cross the room in some concern. "Yeah, it's..."

"It's not that," she says. "I just... I still..."

She bites her lip. "The holidays are part of it," she says. "But it's also..."

"I got a letter from Eiji," Ichika explains, her back to Tsubasa for the moment. But her shoulders sink as she says it.

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        It's tough, isn't it? Every little quirk in someone's voice feels like its own novel, when you're in high school. What does Tsubasa mean when they say things?! "I trust you too, man," is what they're saying now. "Like... more'n anyone."

        That's what Ichika's saying, too... so even if they're worried they're somehow getting the wrong message, they want to listen to that.

        They give her another squeeze when she hugs them, though they let her go to stand up. For a moment, they stay sitting; they figure she's got a reason to take a little distance. Because... it's not just the holidays, it's...

        "What?!" Tsubasa exclaims, and now they stand up, taking a step towards her. "No way! Wasn't his father gonna string him up if he fuckin' dared?! What gives!" And the anger in their voice isn't for her, but... their voice sure is louder, now.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Every quirk, every little bit of tone. Ichika doesn't really know what Tsubasa means for sure; she knows what she wants, but, "...Yeah," Ichika says. "It's like that."

Trust. She's not sure she's sending the right message at all, or that even if she is, it's a fair message to send, but...

Ichika does need the distance--and it helps, because when Tsubasa raises their voice, they might see the way that Ichika half-flinches. She catches herself a moment later, and straightens her back.

"Yeah," she says. "But something changed. I don't know what."

"...But," she says, "He wants me back. He wants..."

She bites her lip. "He isn't talking about getting married yet. I guess there's no reason to rush it, now..."

She crosses her arms, still looking away.

"It was under a lot of flowery language, but... he also said..."

"That it'd be easy for you to disappear. I think it was a threat, since... I don't have to 'worry about' things like that, with him. He said."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Sh--shit, sorry," Tsubasa flinches, too, seeing Ichika tighten up, and they tamp down on their volume in the process.

        Their own arm crosses their body, grasping at their opposite arm, trying to keep it all under wraps. They're so angry, but... the important thing here is to listen to her. "Bastard," they hiss, when she supposes he doesn't need to rush.

        But then --

        "Wait... what?" Tsubasa is hit with a truck at two hundred kilometres an hour, their voice tightening up. "You tellin' me that fuck wants to kill me, too...? H--he can get in line!" Their bravado is fake, and Ichika must know that; they've been the victim of too many attacks, recently, for the way they fold their arms and shake their head to not be a big show.

        But of course, they would think he just wanted to kill them -- based on the life they've lived over the past few months.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"It's... fine," Ichika says a little lamely. "I'm just..."

Fragile, at the moment. But Tsubasa is the one hit by a truck. "I don't think it's that," Ichika says, shaking her head. She finally turns back to Tsubasa and hesitates. "It's more..."

"So," Ichika says, "When I went to his Palace... we found out he's been disappearing people. Advertising work or whatever, but they just don't ever show up--because they get shipped off somewhere else."

"I don't think he wants to kill you. I think he's threatening that if I don't go with him, he'll make you 'disappear', too. Go off somewhere. And..."

"Since your parents probably wouldn't cooperate in declaring you missing..."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "It's cool, it's cool, I weren't thinkin'," Tsubasa assures her, when she assures them so lamely.

        But she turns towards them, and that means she can see how horrified they are to put the pieces together. "What, like... traffickin'?" They ask, their voice a touch thin.

        Their father... would just be glad they're gone...

        "T--that idiot!" Tsubasa waves a hand, shaking their head. "Make a threat worth somethin' next time! W-what kinda guy is gonna wanna force me into anythin' with a face like this?!"

        Tsubasa's bravado is undercut by the way it strikes them that some of those people have tastes which are more violent... which is something they bite down as soon as they think of it, though perhaps Ichika catches the fear flashing over their eyes before they insist -- "Shit, man, you got nothin' to worry 'bout!"

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

It's cool, apparently.

"Yeah," Ichika says. "Like that. I dunno what kind--I... don't know what happens. I haven't been able to find that much. But I've got the people at the Cardboard Dragon looking into it. Yeo-san's an investigator, right? And Hibari-chan knows rumors and shit. So between them all, maybe they can find something to shut it down."

Ichika catches the bravado, but... she also catches the fear underneath it. "I mean, he might just kill you," Ichika says. "That's possible. Apparently... he got even worse than he used to be. Is doing this stuff to other people, now."

Nothing to worry about?

"...No," she says. "I do."

Ichika finally turns back around. "But I'm not going to just give up and go to him, either. Like I said, I've got people looking into it. He's got one of those Palaces, so... Might be something we can do."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "That kinda shit... it's all kinds, y'know?" Tsubasa rubs at the back of their neck, scowling. "Like, even if you say it's a work thing... if there's no support or nothin', y'know..." A lack of accountability can cover a great many crimes; Tsubasa knows that much.

        And he wants to -- and they're worth that little that no one would care -- no one who could do anything, anyway.

        It wouldn't be that hard. It wouldn't even be that hard.

        "... he can't do this," Tsubasa insists, clasping a hand to their chin as if it could cover the way their voice chokes up. "He can't be... holdin' me over ya head, like... he can't make me do that to you." It doesn't matter what happens to them; though that, of course, is a dreadful thought they keep lodged in their throat, because they know she'd hate to hear it. But it's true, they think; even if they disappeared, the important thing is that she doesn't disappear into his shadow.

        "... hey, Ichika... that Palace... where it at?"

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"...Yeah." Ichika nods. "I just don't know. But it's not going to happen anyway."

What good is Dr. Kawase's lawyer if he can't find someone to sue? He couldn't help Ichika, back then. She has no reason to think the law would help Tsubasa now.

"It's not your fault," Ichika says. "It's his. You're not doing anything to me. He is. ...He got the carrot and the stick, I guess." A shake of her head.

But the Palace--

"No," Ichika says. "No, you are not going there on your own. You have to promise me that. I went with a whole crew and we got our asses run out."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "R--right..." Tsubasa's a little more shaken on that point, though they at least get a grip a moment later. "Yeah, 'course it ain't! L-like I said, he'd have to be pretty fuckin' stupid if he thought anyone would want a mug like mine! An' if he jus' tries to kill me, like, I'm pre' much an expert at people tryin' to kill me now, like?! As if that lamer's any worse 'n the fuckin' Joker Killer!"

        Which might be the world's saddest boast. The thought of how easy it would be for Eiji to do that to them must have really gotten under their skin.

        "He can shove 'em both right up his ass," Tsubasa grumbles, "like, at the same time, even." Fuck his carrot and his stick.

        Ichika says no, though, and Tsubasa turns to her, their expression strained. "I can't just let 'im get away with this shit!" They exclaim, and the stress raises their voice again, though they hear it a second later and take a step back in apology, lowering it back down to the usual rumble. "S--sorry, jus' -- jus', I -- l-look, I won't run in solo or nothin', alright? I jus' -- I can't jus' stand back an' -- I gotta do somethin', man..."

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

It's not as if Ichika could've spared Tsubasa the worry; it wouldn't have been right not to tell them about this. But that boast...

"Yeah," Ichika says. "We'll do something before it comes to that."

Ichika... well, she's not going to get into all the details, anyway. The reasons that if not for what she heard in the Palace...

Tsubasa turns her way, and Ichika nods. "Right," she says. "And I'm not asking you to."

This time, it doesn't make her flinch; she's ready.

"I feel the same way. We gotta do something. ...And we will."

"It's... near his dad's workplace. It's here in Iwatodai."

"But like I said, don't go alone. The Cardboard Dragon could help. And I'm..."

"I don't know. If we go in like we did last time, I'm a liability."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        Both carrots and sticks are very effective measures; they've spoken before about how these tricks work, and that may well be why Tsubasa rejects them so crassly.

        "... where's that?" They have to ask, though, because one thing they don't know is where his horrible dad did his horrible lawyering. "How ya get in?"

        Tsubasa takes a breath, and folds their arms. "I ain't... askin' ya to go back in there or nothin'," they assure her, slowly. "There's, like -- some folks what could help. Uh, Uchida-san, too... kinda... fell inta doin' some work for her recent-like." It's why it took them until sundown to get here, incidentally. "... might borrow that computer in th' study fer that, come t' think..."

        (Really, Tsubasa? You were just going to pour through databases on your phone? You're going to make yourself need glasses with that kind of eyestrain, Tsubasa.)

        "Anyway," they shake their head, because that's really not important right now. "I ain't gonna lose my head or nothin'." Sure, it's easy to say that, Tsubasa. "I jus'... I gotta do somethin', man. Can't leave ya to... like, what good's the magic powers if I can't watch your back, man?"

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"I'll get you the address," Ichika says. "Like I said, I'm not gonna stop you doing something, but..."

She pauses. "You need that app on our phones. Then you need a name, a place, and a 'distortion'. ...In his case, Eiji thinks of the place as his wedding venue. It's what's going to get him what he wants."

"...Yeah," Ichika says. She'd mention her plans--but she can't yet. She doesn't know if it'll even happen. No sense in banking on a hope she can't say, yet. "Oh, yeah?" Ichika wonders. "Cool. Go for it."

But, "...All right. As long as you don't. I don't... want to lose you, you know? And going off and doing something stupid would just play into his hands."

"I won't complain though. You gotta try. It's you on the line, too, after all. And I..."

She bites her lip. "...I know what he really thinks of me. Of... her." Her baby. "The idea of letting him touch me again--"

She squeezes her eyes shut. "I can't. I just--I can't."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "That rat bastard," Tsubasa grumbles, when Ichika reveals it's his wedding venue. "Of fuckin' course he'd be like that."

        If Ichika mentioned her plans, Tsubasa would realise they needed to warn her what the Phantom Thieves had done to them; but of course they don't know a thing, though if they did they'd be quite scared she'd face the same fate. ... or pressure to do it to someone else.

        But it's the unknown unknowns that'll get ya.

        (Like just who told them to look out for --)

        "Ichika..." Tsubasa starts -- takes a step forward, and then hesitates, hand in mid-air. It drops down, again, as she bites her lip. "... yeah," they say, their gaze shadowing as they look down. "You told me..."

        'Discipline' was the way she'd characterised his attitude towards her; perhaps the words came out of his own mouth. Really makes them sick.

        "... jus' don't let him threaten you with me," they say, quietly. "Even if -- somethin' did happen -- Yeo-sama's in with a gang, they'd prolly be able to track me down... an' I don't die that easy, you know that. I jus'... don't want him near you. Like, I know you don't want that neither, jus'... y'know, if it comes down to it... ain't just you, yeah?"

        They know he has a way of getting into her head; no wonder they'd be worried about him worming in through another route, even if the paths have all been caved in.

        (And if there's something more to that -- to the way they're putting her wellbeing over their safety, selfish as they are -- they don't draw attention to it.)

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"Mm."

Ichika hears the hesitation, sees the hand, but doesn't move to take it instead for the moment; she's still closed-off in body language, still holding onto herself for the moment. She feels sick, too. Since, she did say, "Yeah. I did."

But don't...?

"...Tsubasa," she starts. "I mean, that's all true," she admits. "You're not just anybody. You're tough. And even if the law can't help... you've got friends who aren't the law."

"He just..."

"He gets in my head," she says, just as Tsubasa is thinking. "And I can see it, you know? ...Going back to Sevens. Being a 'normal girl' again. Maybe my old friends would welcome me back. Maybe. ...I'd just have to do what he wanted. But I--"

"But I imagine being with him at that apartment again, and he's on top of me, and I can't breathe--"

Ichika's hands shake and she squeezes her eyes shut again.

"...But you..."

"You..."

"All right," she says more softly, lowering her arms again. "But I don't want it to come to that. I don't want to sacrifice either of us."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        Tsubasa's not going to push her to take their hand, either. They just -- had that urge to reach her.

        ... but if she needs to be an island, that's fine by them. It's not like it's easy, saying this kind of shit. They know.

        "He knows jus' what to say," Tsubasa scowls, when Ichika confirms their thoughts. "He knows what he took. Bet he loves it... havin' the power to give it back, like he was some kinda gracious king."

        Their hand curls to a fist, as they clasp it to their chest. "It was rape," they say, their own voice a touch raw, "what he did... even if you did what he wanted, it'd always be the threat behind it. Only needs to show you what he's capable of once... then he can bank on how scared you are he'd do it again 'til he wants to feel that fuckin' powerful again."

        Tsubasa doesn't look pale, thanks to all that tan and concealer. "Ichika, I... I don't want you to feel that kinda fear ever again. Like... you're brilliant, y'know? You're always thinkin' 'bout whether the other guy's cool with it... you don't deserve that shit, man..." ... their eyes might look a bit misty, but they don't call attention to it.

        They shake their head, looking over to her. "It's cool," they say. "He ain't gonna win this one. You got a bunch a people in ya corner, y'know? Not just me. You got the gang, an' the Cardboard Dragon, an', like... Hyousuke-kun wouldn't let him at ya if you let him know what you were up against neither, y'know? An' like, the Palace is magic shit, ya sister's a Persona-User too, she'd help there..." Tsubasa thoughtfully separates Ririka from the group of people who they think would step to Eiji in real life, because, like, they figure Ichika might have a problem with the idea of her getting into non-magic problems, she is her older sister.

        "So -- so it ain't gonna come to that," they insist, thumping their fist to their chest in the kind of salute the gang tends to give. (They're not gonna be out here saluting like the Army does, man, they're not the Man.) "You don't gotta sacrifice shit. Be greedy, c'mon!"

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Ichika needs for a few moments to be an island, anyway; touching anyone just in that moment is... a bridge too far. Not with what she's remembering. And besides; Tsubasa is right. He does know. "Yeah," Ichika says. "He knows. ...I don't even... It feels stupid," Ichika says. "It's not like I want those people back. So why do I care?"

That raw assessment, though, gets a shallow nod from the taller of the two. Ichika says, "I--I know. He hurt me. He... He raped me. I can't be with someone like that. I can't."

Is she trying to convince herself, though?

But still... Tsubasa calls her brilliant. "Tsubasa..." She is thinking a lot about that. "It's... It's supposed to be fun," she says. "It's supposed to be about getting to know someone... Not--Not like he does it."

But it's cool, and he isn't going to win. "Mm," Ichika answers. "I do. A lot of people..." The palace, and her sister. "...Ririka-chan she... she doesn't really..."

"I worry about her. But she'd help, yeah."

But it won't come to that. Tsubasa moves to reassure her--but it's when they say to be greedy that she looks up.

"Oh--I-I--"

Ichika closes the distance in a step, wraps her arms around Tsubasa, and starts sobbing on their shoulder, her composure breaking entirely.

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "'Cuz he gets in ya head, man," Tsubasa shakes theirs. "Like -- th' carrot's th' whole -- if ya got ya old friends an' ya old life back, maybe it'd go back to a time 'fore he made it obvious. Look, it ain't th' same or nothin', but... I get the same kinda crap thinkin' if I'd jus' not set that fire, my father wouldna turned that bad? If I could jus' get back to perfect... like... it was better before, so..."

        But they can't get back to perfect; there's no scrubbing out their tan or their scars. ... maybe if they could, they wouldn't talk so tough about who they really are.

        So... it's okay if she's trying to convince herself, they think. It's okay if it isn't an easy call.

        It was never gonna be an easy call.

        "That's right," they affirm, when she talks about what it's supposed to be like. "He's fucked up. Like, in the brain an' shit."

        (There are certain people Tsubasa throws under the bus without even thinking about it -- certainly without thinking that they might know illegitimate children or people with mental illnesses. They're not immune to the society around them; they're not immune from the things their father said over the local news, either.)

        "It's cool, man," Tsubasa says, when Ichika stumbles on Ririka. "I get if you wanna protect her, an'... maybe she's a bit close to it," they offer, diplomatically.

        Though... chasing that thought too long makes them think about Kiyoshi, and...

        Nah, they'd rather think about Ichika.

        Ichika, whose voice cracks when they suggest she just take everything for herself and leave him nothing -- who surprises them, a little, as she lurches forward, though they open their arms to receive her in a tight embrace.

        "Hey, hey, I got you," they murmur, resting a hand in her hair as the other rubs steadily at her back. "Go ahead, it's cool... I got you."

        If a few tears fall down their cheeks while they're holding her, that's fine. That's normal. That just means they give a shit, too.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Ichika would be super sympathetic to bastards if anybody connected the actual meaning of the word for her instead of it being 'like an asshole but definitely male'.

But how he gets in her head? "Y-yeah," Ichika answers. "Back when I could pretend, anyway. ...But it's not like I want to give up on..." What she has now. What she likes better.

Still. Fucked up. "Right," Ichika agrees. "Right."

"I do," Ichika says. "She'd hate to not be involved, but... It was hard enough on the family before."

Ichika knows she can trust Tsubasa, anyway. And they do have her.

It's a little while before she can talk again. But it does happen. She moves to get her makeup wipes after she's a little more stable, and Tsubasa goes out to get some cold water or something. Ichika's on the bed now, sitting there.

She sniffles now and then, but she's mostly fine.

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "I get you," Tsubasa assures Ichika, though all that, though it does eventually turn into: "I got you."

        And once she's a little more stable on her feet, Tsubasa excuses themself to go check in on Lance (still a good girl), and then grab Ichika something to drink, in that order. They might have to assure Mrs. Ichika's Mom that everything's cool, since it got a little heated up there. Just talking about feelings and shit, according to them. Y'know. ... and the fact that they said a swear to Mrs. Ichika's Mom might subtly indicate to her what kind of feelings (or feelings about whom) they're dealing with. At least Ichika has someone her age she can talk to about the stuff that once happened to her.

        (Tsubasa sure ain't gonna tell Mrs. Ichika's Mom that it's still happening, present day, present time.)

        Armed with a couple of glasses of cold water, and having given Ichika a couple of minutes to armour up without anyone to get in the way, Tsubasa heads back up. They nudge the door back open with their foot, before closing it much the same way, heading over to hand one of the glasses off to Ichika.

        "... how ya truckin'?" They ask, gently, as they sit down next to her. "Uh, reckon ya mom musta heard me... jus' told her we were talkin' 'bout feelins' an' shit, so."

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Lance is very good, and Mrs. Ichika's Mom is willing to accept Tsubasa's answer with only an offer to help if she can. She won't stop them going back up with the water. Indeed, at least...

Well.

Ichika is better when Tsubasa comes back; the evidence of her tears is mostly gone, but so is all her makeup. She looks strikingly different without it, a lot more ordinary, a lot less dramatic. But some of that may be that her shoulders are a little slumped. "...Hey, Tsubasa," she says. "Don't worry about it. ...Mom doesn't usually ask a lot of questions about..."

She shakes her head. "Well, anyway. She just cares, that's all. Glad she listened to you."

Pause. "Did you actually say 'and shit'?" she wonders, and quirks a smile.

"But I'm... better. What about you? You were..."

She thinks back.

"You were really down on yourself, and I couldn't think much about that at the time..."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Yeah, it's cool. She oughta... an' she did listen." She might have even offered to listen, though of course Tsubasa isn't gonna be tellin' all those feelings to Ichika's mom, c'mon. Still, it's a nice gesture.

        Beat. Tsubasa blinks. "Uh." They suddenly look like they're holding a grenade sans pin. "Yeah. Shit. Wasn't really thinkin' 'bout me language none. It's, uh... it's cool, right?"

        Mrs. Ichika's Mom is probably cool with swearing. Hopefully. They're pretty sure they heard her say a swear once.

        "Glad you're doin' better, tho'," Tsubasa says... and then pauses, again, though they cover it up by taking a long gulp of water themself.

        "... sorry," they say, when they come up for air. "Didn't mean to like... make it 'bout me or nothin'. Jus'... been a bit hard lately, y'know, like... with more scars," from the Joker Killer, "an'... jus'... I mean, I know I got other shit goin' for me, but it ain't... how I look, y'know? Like... you take ya makeup off, ya look... normal. I look..."

        Tsubasa stares down at a glass of water that is definitely half empty, as far as they can see.

        "... bad."

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"Cool," Ichika answers. She did listen. As for the swears, Ichika actually laughs a little. "It's fine," she says. "I try not to say stuff like that in front of her, but she's not going to melt or anything. I've heard her say some stuff, too..."

Probably.

Ichika takes a long drink--crying dehydrates you a bit. She is doing better.

"You didn't," Ichika says with a shake of her head. "I know it's hard. I see you, right?" A nod. "You do, but..."

She thinks, and looks down for a moment.

"...Not like that makes you any less a person," Ichika says. She turns her head back to Tsubasa. "I look at you, I don't see 'bad'. I see my best friend."

"...But that doesn't make it go away, I know. ...if you ever want to talk about it, or even just vent..."

"I won't tell you you're wrong or whatever, I'll just listen. OK?"

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Oh," Tsubasa says, having realised to the count of six that the grenade they're holding is a dud. "Cool."

        They drain the rest of their water, and lean over to place the glass on the ground for the moment so it won't get in the way. She sees them...

        They gaze down, at the new scar tissue on their arm. Most of their burns weren't as serious as they could have been, owing to the intervention of their Persona; it will take another two or three weeks for everything to heal, but it is, at least, healing.

        ... that doesn't actually feel good, though. They're about ready to claw themself out of their own fucking skin for how itchy and painful it is.

        "I don't... want no one to see me," Tsubasa starts. "I -- I mean -- I do, but I don't? I -- it hurts, man. I look so stupid... but if I didn't, I'd really look like a monster. I jus' -- I -- I'm ugly, man... an' everyone can see it."

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

New scar tissue. No, the burns could've been worse, but still. Ichika looks over Tsubasa, as they look at their own burns, and...

"...Sorry," Ichika says. "Or... not?" They do, but they don't. "Tsubasa..."

"You look like somebody who got hurt. That's what I think. Not some monster."

"I guess... It's a matter of who's going to be scared off by that. And who's not."

"But anybody superficial enough to act like it's your fault you got hurt, that you deserve it because of how you look..."

"That's not someone I want to know."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Ya jus'... can't outrun yourself, man. It's on my skin... people look at me different. Talk 'bout me different. If they're bein' nice 'bout it, they don't talk 'bout how I look at all... if they ain't, they got this awful way a lookin' at me, even the ones what don't say I went through a wood chipper. An'..."

        Tsubasa folds their arms, tucking their legs in against the bed, still not quite looking at Ichika. "I looked it up. Y'know. Surgery... the surgeries that'd make me less of a fuckin' girl. Even if I found the money to go overseas an' get it done... prolly no one'd operate on someone with my kinda scarrin'. Like... where they gonna take grafts from when my whole body's fucked up, man?" They sound remarkably hopeless, admitting that. "How they gonna... cut into somethin' that tough to start with? It's not gonna happen, man... that fire fucked me whole life up. I'll always be... be like this... always be coverin' it up."

        Ugly, and deformed, and wrong.

        No wonder they think no one would want to buy them.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"Mm..."

Ichika can't argue; most people aren't very nice about it, it seems like. But even she doesn't have something to say that's that much better. "Ah, yeah...?" Ichika hasn't looked it up. She's not very good at looking it up. She doesn't really know anything about grafts or anything. But she does think, "...So they have to have grafts?"

But cut into something...

"Tsubasa..."

She reaches out a hand.

"I'm sorry. All I can say is I don't think it's all there is to you. And you know, they're always advancing medical stuff."

"...I'll stick with you either way, though."

"That's what good friends do, right? The right kind."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Yeah... like... for the bottom, anyway," Tsubasa says, when Ichika asks after the grafts. "Top's not as complicated, but... they'd have a lot of trouble, right? 'Cuz a th' scars... all th' scars."

        They reach out to take Ichika's hand, but perhaps she can see the way they tear up, seeing their scarred hand in hers. No teenager's skin is perfect, but, like...

        ... by comparison.

        They lean into her side a little, anyway. "I know... how you an' Kujaku-hakase was tellin' me I was unique an' shit... I ain't forgot or nothin'. But... but it happened again, an' I realised... only ever gets worse, Ichika. I only get uglier... the more shit happens to me... an' shit keeps happenin'. No one's gonna want me... not like that, y'know?"

        It feels petty and small and vain; why should they be worried about that when they have friends? But it's different; the whole world insists it's different, and so -- "It's not, like -- you're great, you are, jus' -- I miss it, y'know? Bein' special to a guy... I'd lay a dude flat for ya, you know I would, an' I know you'd do the same, but, but it ain't like -- we both got other friends too, y'know?"

        Ichika craves freedom, but... freedom, enforced from outside, is just solitude.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

"Oh," she says. "...Yeah, scars might make it trickier..." Her father's a doctor, but she can only absorb so much; he doesn't exactly go into detail at home. But...

Ichika can see it. That moment. And no, Ichika's skin isn't perfect, even with her incredible skin routine. ...But it's a lot closer to it than Tsubasa's burns.

Ichika supports Tsubasa as best she can.

"Tsubasa..." No one's going to want them 'like that'. And what can Ichika says, who finds partners so easily?

"...Yeah," Ichika says. "Even when the guy's a shithead, it's nice. Being special like that. It feels good."

"But..."

"But do we?"

"I mean, like us. Like... the way we're friends."

"Like... I don't..."

"I'd take a bath with the Princess," she says. "But I'm not gonna sleep in the same bed with her. I'm not gonna hug her like I do you."

"And maybe that's not fair of me. I worry... I worry I'm just teasing you, you know? Being so close. But it's..."

"Being able to just be easy with someone. To be close, without... it having to be a whole thing."

"I know... I don't know, if it's what you want."

"But... it's... you're precious to me, Tsubasa."

"I love you. ...I know we're not... having sex, or anything, but..."

"But I love you, still. And it's not like a boyfriend, but it's not like a regular friend, either."

She hesitates. It's possible, after all--that she misjudged. That Tsubasa wants her body, too. But...

She had to say it, either way, sooner or later.

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        Tsubasa blinks, looking to Ichika, when she asks that question. "Uh?" They ask, eloquently, having no immediate answer to that at all; and that, of course, means they're listening instead.

        And while their tan and concealer handily covers up their face taking on all the qualities of a tomato, it can't really hide the way their jaw drops when she says she loves them.

        "I -- I, uh -- oh, man," they breathe out, leaning forward to rest their elbows on their knees. "It's okay -- totally -- jus', gimme a sec on that one..."

        Here is an approximate transcription of Tsubasa's internal monologue:

        ????!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!!?!!!!

        (That's it, that's the whole thing.)

        Okay, internal inventory. Their heart's going a mile a minute; their face is still flushed; they're way too sweaty; they have approximately fifteen feelings too many; they suddenly feel really sceptical about something that felt like it was a given ten minutes ago; they're trying to figure out if they even remember how that word works.

        Okay. Hardest bit first, they think, as they straighten themself back up so they can look at Ichika properly. "I," they start, except they get all choked up, so they kind of have to swallow and start again. "I-I love you, too. Jus' -- jus' ya once said you felt safe from yourself with me, an' I -- I was scared, like -- like what if I said I had, feelins', an' ya felt like you had ta fuck me? An' I didn't know if, like..."

        They bite their lip, looking a touch ashamed. "I didn't know if I wanted to, man. Some part a me thought... it had to be like that, yeah? Since, like... I do like when you touch me.. an' I had those strong feelins'... an' like, I'm not gonna bullshit you or nothin', you are hot, I ain't like, totally missed that or nothin'. Like.. 'specially after I realised I could like girls, like... I thought... that must be it, right? But, like..."

        Tsubasa pauses, for a moment. (If their heart could stop, like, trying to batter its way out of their chest, that would work out REALLY well for them? Thanks in advance.) "You said you didn't know what I wanted... I realised I could say that. I could fess up, like, I weren't no sanctuary or nothin'. But -- but you said I was special, like, you loved me, an' -- an' I was jus' like -- like -- is that what I want? Is that what I want, when hearin' that makes me so happy? So I thought... maybe I jus' thought it was one big package, man. Like, it wouldn't be that big a deal if I weren't... wantin' to be some weird kinda not boyfriend. Like it didn't count if I didn't really want sex. Is that weird...? I-I don't wanna scare you off, or nothin', jus'..."

        They rub at an arm, more awkward than they've ever been in their life, which is really saying something. "Look, I... I do want to have sex, but -- but not with you. Yeah? I jus'... wanna be close to you. I do... wanna be precious to you. I do. It's -- it's this, like -- this whole thing we got, this like, honesty an' vulnerability an' affection bit -- I really want that to be ours. I jus', I been scared a hurtin' ya, I know this shit ain't easy for you either..."

        Okay. Just don't panic.

        "... I want it to be a whole thing," Tsubasa admits. "Jus'... not... not a sex thing. I dunno if that kinda thing exists, o-or nothin', but... but I don't just think a you like my friends. You're... more important. More special 'n that... like, I always just said it's 'cuz you're the Boss, so 'course you was comin' first, but that's... that was the story I was tellin', y'know? The story. Fact is, I don't want other people seein' me like you do. But if it's you... I ain't so scared a what I'll see in your eyes. You -- you make me feel safe, like -- know we said it before -- it's still true."

        Has Tsubasa ever said this many words in concert before?! They may have broken a new record.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Listening! Ichika... is really worried about what's coming next. She's worried that it'll be different from what she's hoping; she has a lot of feelings herself, and almost all of them are threatening to overwhelm her. Right up until Tsubasa takes the hardest part, and answers her. Safe from herself...

"Tsubasa..."

They love her. And what if she had felt she had to?

"Right," Ichika says. "I wondered if... if it had to be like that."

But she smiles, because Tsubasa is coming around from it. Because they don't want to scare her off, this time, and--

"...I would've, you know," Ichika admits. "If you'd asked. ...That's the best way I know to make people happy. With my body. With my heart."

"But..."

"....It's not what I want, either. I think... It's... it's intimacy, we're looking for. Not... not sex. And that's not... the same thing?"

"It feels like the same thing. But you proved to me it's not."

"...I..." How to say it? "I feel safe with you, too. ...And I'm happy that you feel that way with me."

"So OK. that's how it is. We're... We're close like that."

"...it's not the same thing, as a boyfriend. But I don't want the same things from you, either. Not... all of them, anyway."

Some of them, sure. Security, emotional connection...

"That's not going to hurt me. The opposite, right? It's... it's great."

"Safe from... myself. That's kind of it..."

"Um, it does count. Not wanting sex, and all. ...And I hope you do find it. I can... I dunno, introduce you to somebody, if that's not weird. Set you up. I dunno."

"...And... and I do still want a boyfriend. I want to get married one day. I want... I want a lot of things."

"But I want you to be part of that life, too. Of my life."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        Tsubasa listens, too, and finds that a lot of it doesn't surprise them -- not that they knew, but that they'd anticipated a lot of her reactions. They kinda... figured she'd have gone for it, if they'd asked.

        Some of it is still a surprise, though, like her point about intimacy. That has them looking like a startled owl. Aren't those the same thing???

        Huh.

        "Maybe... maybe some of 'em," Tsubasa ventures, at length. "Like -- shit you'd want from a boyfriend, like -- if you try again, I... could be there for 'em too, y'know? An' you an' your guy, I mean... don't reckon that's the life I'll ever live, but I could still be there for you. Not... not like a man, jus'... another thing. Won't ever be recognised, or nothin', but -- we'd know. Well, if we're still like this that far out, I mean... it's cool if it changes. Future ain't written."

        (They're the last person to lock her down.)

        "A-an' -- that'd be cool, y'know? Like -- settin' me up -- ain't weird, you're like, ten times better at that kinda shit than me. Prolly use your advice not shovin' me foot right in me mouth, too..." Dating is terrifying even without body image issues, but man, that sure is a force multiplier.

        "An'... an'... I know," they breathe out, glancing aside. "I mean... part a me knew you'd go in for it. I figured I jus' wasn't askin' to protect you, but... like... I know you're real solid on what you want, too, so it wouldna just been somethin' you hated if you did it. Thinkin' 'bout it... like... I'm a pretty selfish guy, y'know? So... why'd I never asked if I really wanted it? I thought I had pretty good excuses... but man, I was jus' makin' excuses not to go there, huh."

        Luckily, their cheeks are still obscured, though it's hard for them to meet Ichika's eyes as they admit: "I-I think you're right, too, like? I'd always be... thinkin' 'bout... kissin' an' holdin' hands an' shit. An', like... that's... it was different with you," they add, at a mutter.

        Tsubasa scratches at their cheek, looking back to Ichika. "It's like... that intimacy shit, right? Like -- b-bein' close to someone. Connectin' an' shit. That's... it's own thing. But... what'd we call it, Ichika?"

        They want to leave that ball in her court. It feels important they don't... give her a label.

<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.

Some surprises, some not. Ichika going for ill-advised sex is not exactly the news of the century, though. She's done enough of that.

"...Well, any guy I get, I want him to be cool with you," Ichika says. "...I think I will try again. But I'm happy knowing you'll support me. I..."

"I want that stuff," she admits. "And... and trying again... One day I do want to. I really, really do. I'm... I'm not sure there's anything in the world I want more. But it's gotta be the right guy, you know? ...And I've gotta be... ready. I know it's a dumbass idea until I'm a little older for a ton of reasons. But you know, down the line..." A shake of her head. "A-anyway, I mean..." Her eyes are a little wet, too. She wipes them on the back of her finger.

But the future isn't written... "Guess that's true," Ichika says. "You find some nice girl, she wants you all to herself... I'll be sad, but I'd get it. But yeah--we'd know. That's what counts."

It isn't weird. "OK, cool. Then just, we'll go with your comfort zone. ...Maybe push it a little, since if you don't you'll never get anywhere. But that's a later thing, OK?" A smile. "I'll be happy to help."

But... They knew. At least a part of them knew. "...Yeah," she says. "I thought about it. It wasn't anything I wasn't up for at least trying out. ...It's not like you're a girl, so that's different enough..." She's not sure what all she'd do, but she thought about it.

"I don't think you're that selfish," Ichika admits. "...But maybe that's because you never pushed me like that. So... thanks, for not."

Thinking about... "Heh. Yeah. I think about that stuff a lot, too. All the time. It really makes me happy..."

"But it's different, yeah."

Ichika looks back. "Right," she says. "It's different. It's its own thing. And I..."

"I dunno," she says first. "What do you call something like that?"

"...I just know you're my best friend. The best friend I could hope for. Maybe if we figure out there's a word for something like this, we'll use it. But until then..."

"You're Tsubasa, and I'm Ichika. And that's... OK."

<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.

        "Yeah... I'd want a guy to be cool with you, too," Tsubasa agrees. "... or a chick... maybe prob'ly a chick. They better give a shit 'bout you, too. But me... I'd wanna be there. Like... 'specially after all that shit you been through, like... you oughta have more people lookin' out for ya, y'know? So, like, down the line, let's just -- double the usual guys behind ya -- y'know."

        It's all about that greed, Ichika!!

        "Yeah," Tsubasa nods, when Ichika reflects on future girls. "Don't reckon it's likely I'd go in for a girl that were like that... but it could be. An' for you, too, y'know? Bein' honest, mainly thinkin' 'bout you... I know the whole commitment bit's not easy for ya. An' I ain't, like -- I ain't here to chain ya." Their lips quirk up in a brief smile. "Jus' wanna tear shit up with ya."

        But a later thing... "... yeah," Tsubasa nods. "Let's do that later." If nothing else, they at least ought to heal a bit more before they start trying to go on dates.

        (Physically or emotionally?! Six of one, half dozen of the other...)

        "That jus'... ain't the kinda selfish I am, I guess," Tsubasa shrugs. "Or... maybe I ain't like, all the way selfish. Jus'... mostly selfish. I dunno. It's cool, tho'... ain't somethin' I coulda did to ya."

        Or maybe Tsubasa's entire bit about being in it for themself is a FACADE, but they worked very hard on it, okay.

        But Ichika thinks about it, too... "Yeah," Tsubasa agrees. "Me too."

        She's not sure on the wording, but... Tsubasa reaches out, to take her hands. "Okay," they say, squeezing them gently. "'Til we find a word... that's what best friends means to us. An' there ain't no best friend for me but you."

        Their smile is soft, as they repeat, "you're Ichika. An' I'm Tsubasa, an'... I really do love you, man."