2025-11-04: Feelings To Be Named Later
- Log: Feelings To Be Named Later
- Cast: Myunghon Yeo, Shinobu Shimizu
- Where: The Cardboard Dragon, Hirasaka Ward
- OOC Date: November 04, 2025
- IC Date: August 05, 2012
- Summary: Shinobu walks in on Myunghon having fallen asleep from exhaustion from their tasks. The two talk about the recent struggles they've faced, and Myunghon rekindles the topic of relationships that's still on their mind...
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Myunghon and some of the others had been out battling the Homunculus in Taro Nakata's Atelier, and there was good news after -- though it seemed like they were only at the nick of time, and any later would've been too late. It's a reminder of how time-sensitive some of these missions are. They've been at the Cardboard Dragon since, and by the time Shinobu arrives...
Well, the door isn't locked again, though store hours are over. There's still a slight scent of something sweet in the air -- and Shinobu is quick to pick out that Myunghon's been baking again, and there's some really pretty checkerboard cookies in a small plastic container, with some baking utensils washed beside it. By this time, it's an open offer that any baked goods are open game for the Cardboard Dragon crew.
The Rumourmonger themself?
Well... it looks like they've fallen asleep at the couch again, half-snuggled into themself in the midst of doing something, evidenced by the laptop still open on the coffee table and a pile of papers scattered around their lap. They have the white coat on draped over them, with the chocolate ruffle-blouse and the ribbon tie loosened around their neck, with the white inverted-pleat skirt and leggings... and fuzzy koala slippers dangling off one foot.
It's almost cute, like this.
It's also probably better, Shinobu knows, that they're asleep down here, not above in the hell mold zone.
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Shinobu heard about the mission back into the Atelier a little too late to be there herself... though she ended up running into some trouble of her own later that night, herself.
After things like that, though, it's good to check in on everyone, so as soon as she can, Shinobu decides to swing in by the Cardboard Dragon after work. It's after-hours, so it'll be easier to talk without being mindful of customers who have no idea what's going on.
"Evenin'." Shinobu greets, stepping through the door. She's greeted, in turn, by a sweet scent - and she soon gravitates toward the container of checkerboard cookies. They look... really good, actually. Myunghon's really been improving... She takes one, nibbling on it idly as she scans the interior of the shop.
...It tastes really good, too.
It isn't long before she spots who she's looking for, nestled into the couch - and wearing a cute outfit? Shinobu smiles, just slightly. She finishes off the cookie and takes a step closer.
"Hey, boss -" She starts - and then realises she's caught them while they're asleep. Looks like they drifted off in the middle of doing some work... It's probably for the best. They could probably use it, and better that it's down here. "You asleep?"
She won't push too hard. She glances back at the door. If it comes down to it, she can come back later.
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
At least it isn't going to be awkward like the last time Shinobu caught Myunghon asleep that one morning. The cookies have been Hyousuke-approved...! And thus, they're ready for the rest of the Cardboard Dragon to enjoy. The first 'hey, boss' has them stirring, and then they plant their hand to the couch and slowly rouses up in a dizzy manner, gray eye bleary as they struggle to make sense of the world for a moment.
"Ah... is that you, Shinobu?" Myunghon lets out a weak little noise, rubbing their eye and mumbling, "I'm glad you came by. Somehow... I'm just so tired..."
They say, 'somehow', but So-young really has it right when they question when it is they ever stop moving -- they don't even spend most of their nights sleeping, given how active they are with the Demons and negotiating more stock for the shop. "Did your... work go well? It was a job, wasn't it?"
They're so scatterbrained they don't exactly remember what, and then--
They're... gesturing with their arms out in her direction? What does that mean?
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Shinobu is definitely glad it isn't that awkward. She isn't sure either of them would survive another one.
Myunghon starts to stir, so Shinobu sticks around. She does step back to give them a little more space, though.
"Yeah, no problem." She replies with a nod, and then cracks a smirk. "'Somehow', huh? Seems like you've been busy, so it don't surprise me."
She means it good-naturedly, at least.
"Oh, yeah - helped myself to one of the cookies. Pretty good - looked nice, too." She compliments, and then nods.
"Yeah. Practically had me running all over the ward playing messenger girl, but it went pretty well, anyway." She replies. "How'd things go on your end?"
They gesture toward her - and Shinobu pauses, staring blankly for a second.
"Uh, did you need a hand...?" She asks.
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Myunghon leaves the arms up for a moment longer--
Uh, did you need a hand...?
The Rumourmonger seems to catch themself up with a more solid foothold on reality as they pull their arms back, embarrassedly, face becoming pink in a hurry. "... oh. Ummm..."
But Shinobu's smirk feels positively radiant as they quip on how it really isn't a mystery why they feel so tired. "Yes, yes..." they pout quietly, though there's a gentle smile as Shinobu points out she helped herself to one of the cookies. "Oh... I'm very glad. That one isn't too hard to make, but it does look very pretty, doesn't it? Suou-san was going to come around with some other moulds, like stars or hearts..."
Shinobu speaks of her job -- running all over the ward playing messenger girl? "Sounds like a waste of your talents..." Myunghon murmurs. A pause. "The Taro Nakata job is finished. He will be fine, I believe, but," A pause, as they glance to one side. Well, it's better to press on about work than their embarrassing, sleepy faux-pas.
"Hmmm. It's left a lot on my mind. About the kinds of beings we fight in supernatural spaces. We had to fight the Homunculus to save Taro Nakata... but I'm still unsettled as to 'what' a Homunculus is..."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Myunghon seems to catch themself, and Shinobu feels just a pang of sympathy as they look embarrassed... But if they aren't going to dwell on it, neither is she. She lets out a small laugh as they pout, and then she nods.
"Yeah. Adds a real nice touch, you know?" Shinobu agrees. Suou-san is, huh? "I bet those'll look nice, too. Variety don't hurt."
Shinobu explains her job, and Myunghon comments.
"Yeah, no kidding. But... a job's a job, and it was all aboveboard, so I could hardly say no." She replies with a shrug. They explain how things went, though. "Oh yeah? Good, I'm glad."
She notices that pause and listens. She frowns thoughtfully - what a Homunculus is...
"It was trying to take him over, right?" She asks. ...But if it was just that, would they be dwelling on it so much? "...Did something happen? What's on your mind?"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Myunghon doesn't dwell on it, but it does seem to weigh them down, as consciousness starts to return sharply to their senses and so does their mood. It's one of those Terrible naps, that leaves you feeling more drained and sapped than when they fell asleep without even meaning to.
They feel pretty cold at the distance right now. How foolish!
"Are there other sweets you'd be interested in...?" they ask, lifting their hand to their lips for a moment.
The Rumourmonger takes Shinobu in for a few moments longer, as Shinobu speaks about the Homunculus. Their legs draw up -- and the Koala slipper drops to the floor, leaving them in just the leggings as they start hugging their knees in that way that they usually do.
"Yanagi said that the Homunculus seemed very human because it was on the cusp of taking over... but there's a lot that we don't know about... any of the creatures we fight, do we? We're cautious to not kill Shadows because that'll destroy a person's mind in the physical world," Myunghon ruminates.
"... it's true we had to fight and kill it because a person would die otherwise. ... not doing enough killed someone else already," Myunghon mumbles. That failure to stop the NWO from killing Akira Hayashi is still weighing on their mind. "But it bothers me..."
A pause, as they start to race through Nanghaithya's words again. Then Tsumugi's, rather curiously, randomly. They destroyed something that just wanted to reach out for what it wanted... is that really the transactional nature of the world that Tsumugi viewed?
"Do you mind... sitting down next to me? I could use it... right now."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
What other sweets, huh...? Shinobu thinks about that for a moment. She doesn't have a huge sweet tooth, but what does she like...?
"Maybe something with fruit?" She considers. She meets their gaze, watching as they draw their legs up to themself.
Shinobu listens as she explains. It seemed human because it was on the cusp of taking over...
"...And even that, we were lucky to find out before we made a mistake." Shinobu agrees with a quiet nod, folding her arms in front of her. "...We're fighting blind, yeah. They're a bunch of big mysteries we can only try to make sense of."
They had to fight and kill it because someone would die. And someone had already died - but it still bothers them... Even if it only seemed human, that's still a heavy burden.
...Shinobu's expression softens sympathetically - and when they ask that question, she moves to settle down on the couch next to them.
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
"Fruit...? Hmm. I'll look up some recipes," Myunghon does nod, as if that's started a whole new line of thought in their head. Smaller fruits would be easier -- there's no way they have the ability to break down a melon, say, so perhaps something like strawberries...? Strawberries are pretty common in desserts.
"I am rather used to the instinctual Shadows of Tartarus, and Palace Rulers being an embodiment of someone we can meet in the physical world... even the Demons of Sumaru, as you and I are used to... I am rather used to thinking of them as -- other denizens of Sumaru City. We Negotiate and cut deals with them, we fight at other times... but that just seems like the norm to me."
There's an uncomfortable glance. "But a Homunculus... I don't know what they are. It had such a strong desire to exist, to be someone, even if it was trying to steal another's identity and take over..."
Shinobu does settle down, and there's a pause as they still doubt themself -- but does lean in gently, unless Shinobu rejects or shuffles away.
"... I found it very human."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
"Cool. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Let me know if you need help getting anything together." Shinobu replies with a nod. She thinks about it, then. Shadows, Palace Rulers, and Demons... Shinobu frowns thoughtfully to herself. They're used to that, but the Homunculus...
She looks at them, as they admit to not knowing what they are. And when they lean in, she doesn't reject them. They can stay there as long as they need to.
Human, huh...
Shinobu frowns thoughtfully, her eyes drifting up toward the ceiling.
"...Guess I can relate." She murmurs, after a time. "We're all just doing what we have to to survive."
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
... this does feel good, right now, Myunghon thinks, still a little red in the face as they place their hand to their mouth again in thought, leaned against Shinobu. "I've been trying recipes that don't require a lot of mixing... I can do a little, but a lot of things are still out of my capability. Kneading and mixing dough, or having to be vigorous for a few minutes... sooner or later I might hit a wall."
There's a longer pause as they look to Shinobu, from the corner of their gray eye.
"There's still another one out there, Sasaki-san's case... and she's definitely in danger, but there's so much we don't know. ... it's depressing to think about, the way it was saying. How if you're not a winner, you're a loser... how many times have I heard that from colleagues who feel desperate like they have to fight each other to keep their job?"
There's a slump, as they reach their hands down to twiddle at their thumbs.
"How've you been lately...?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Shinobu thinks about that. Recipes that don't require a lot of mixing... She doesn't know a whole lot about baking, but that sounds complicated.
"Impressive you've gotten as far as you have." She comments. "I, uh... don't really know a whole lot about it, but is there anything you can use to make it easier on you?"
Her gaze tracks back down from the ceiling and toward Myunghon, as they continue.
Another Homunculus... Another person in danger. Shinobu frowns consideringly, and it only deepens as Myunghon recounts its view on life.
Shinobu exhales sharply with a wince. It hits home a little.
"...Wish I could just say it was wrong, but... yeah, ain't the first time I've heard that before. The world does a real good job of making you feel that outright success is all that matters." She admits with a shake of her head. She sighs... And then takes a moment to think, as they ask how she's been.
"Well... I've been better, but I've been worse, too. Got into a fight the other night, and it left me pretty sore through my work the next day, but... That's all just one of the hazards of what we do. Just gotta take it as it comes." She replies. "...How about you?"
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
"Um... for instance, since I don't really know or trust myself with a knife due to my arm issues, I bought this box cutter where you can just lean on the lid to cut things, that has been very useful for cutting vegetables too," Myunghon reflects. "There are expensive devices like stand mixers that I've watched online, but the price is a little eye-watering." Somewhere, perhaps, Katsuya Suou will break out an old stand mixer to come to the rescue, like a superhero cop...
There's a nod as Shinobu relates to how she's heard that a whole lot too. "... it's contradictory. They'll often say you have to get along and be friends -- but at the same time, there's only a few slots for the winners. They get you used to competing against each other, when they post your grades up," Myunghon murmurs.
Shinobu's mention of getting into a fight has them alarmed a little, though, as Myunghon pulls up gently to say, "Do you need me to treat anything...?" Shinobu's reckless at times, but she's not *that* irresponsible, though, so if there's been something that needs treating, she's probably already looked into it.
How about them, though.
"Well... I've been thinking about-- us again, perhaps."
Yeah, they've been really subtle all scene about it!!
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
"That's... probably smart. Don't want to hurt yourself." Shinobu admits, as Myunghon explains that they don't trust themself with a knife. A box cutter you can lean on, though. "...That does seem pretty handy."
She grimaces, though, as they mention how expensive stand mixers are.
"Figures it'd be money standing in the way..." She replies. "Something to keep a look out for, I guess, if you decide you're still into it."
Myunghon agrees, and Shinobu offers a wry smirk.
"...Heh. Yeah. And good luck, if they decide they just don't like you." She replies with a shrug.
She can see the surprise, but Shinobu shakes her head at the offer.
"Nah, don't worry. I'm already back to one-hundred percent, now." She assures. "But... thanks."
Shinobu asks how Myunghon's been doing... and, they say they've been thinking about the two of them again. Shinobu turns her head to look at them, studying them for a moment.
"Oh yeah? What've you been thinking?" Shinobu asks.
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
"T-that it sounds a lot more foolish now that I have to put it into words?" Myunghon helplessly says, all Koala-like for a moment. They haven't moved away from Shinobu's side, though.
"But-- I just thought if what I have been pursuing with Tsumugi is indeed a casual relationship despite everything... a-and what you wanted was also a casual relationship--" Myunghon hitches, suddenly mortified like every fibre in their body wants them to backpedal.
I AM A CAT -- Despite everything, you *can* still jump out of a second story window safely.
"T-that is, I understand that it isn't as simple as going 'ah, if x, then therefore y'--" Steam is once again erupting out of Myunghon's ears as they realise their newest analogy sucks even harder.
"I--I may need a moment to try again. Perhaps if I run to the bathroom," they uselessly conclude.
There is a non-zero chance they're gonna run off to Mementos in their koala slippers at this rate.
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Myunghon replies - and Shinobu's eyebrow raises. Foolish, huh...? She doesn't say anything right away, because they still seem to be working their way through their thoughts. A casual relationship... She sees the way they hitch, too, seeming mortified. They try again, and... Ah, there it goes again...
Mercifully, Shinobu doesn't flinch or cringe throughout. She watches them patiently the whole time.
"You, uh... you don't need to do that." Shinobu assures with a shake of her head, as the conclusion they reach - is running to the bathroom. She'd rather they didn't run off into Mementos in their koala slippers... "Look, you don't gotta... jump right into it. Take your time, catch your breath, get your thoughts together... 'Til then, we can just sit right here. It's alright."
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
A part of Myunghon does beg, because the Cardboard Dragon is technically a supernatural space, for Merry to take over. Please, be suave and invincible for them! Perhaps they can take the flirting again to Mementos next time?
Merry considers this for a moment and answers confidently:
I have absolutely no idea how strategise and win the game of love. Back over to you, Myunghon!
BETRAYED ALREADY????
Shinobu fortunately calms them down, though, as she assures that they don't, in fact, have to flee of dire, mortal embarrassment from their own store. Take your time. Catch your breath (they start imitating square breaths at this time for a bit)...
...
"I'm..." Myunghon starts clinging onto Shinobu's side. "I still can't get over the thought... I thought I'd make myself okay with casual relationships. Perhaps I proved that I was okay with it?" Myunghon you still can't meet Tsumugi without crying by the end of it "No, it isn't a matter of proofs like it were demonstrating a hypothesis stands on solid ground, now is it?"
They feel the mortal terror rising again, but swallows it down long enough. "... I do still feel something warm when you are around. You're reassuring to me, in a way others aren't," they stammer out. "And even if it is casual, and you want to stop at any time..." Is that okay? Now they're confused again. This is just the exact same place they ended up when they were staying over at Shinobu's, isn't it?
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Shinobu keeps on eye on them. They do, in fact, take their time and catch their breath. She feels a little relieved. A moment passes - and now they're clinging onto her side.
They can't get over the thought... Shinobu's expression softens sympathetically. They've really been... dealing with this, haven't they?
"...No, it isn't." Shinobu agrees with a shake of her head. "If it were that easy... well, life'd be simpler. It's just something you've gotta feel out for yourself."
They still feel warm around her. She's reassuring, in a way others aren't...
...They really feel that strongly? It's hard to imagine anyone feeling that way about her. She looks down, directing a frown at herself.
"...Would that make you happy?" Shinobu asks. "Would you be satisfied with that? Something temporary like that..."
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Amongst other things, perhaps, but lately Myunghon has become someone who feels very deeply, don't they? Or perhaps it was all always like that, and it only took certain reminders for them to reawaken that side of them. "But feelings are so imprecise..." Myunghon murmurs. "Even when I put words to them, it may still be misconstrued," they conclude, contradicting just how many emotions they do, in fact, still feel.
Shinobu asks pointed questions, however. Would it make them happy?
It's a terrifying question to be asked.
"I'm not... sure," Myunghon admits. "I'm not even sure what I have with Tsumugi makes me happy, just... ... I don't know what happy feels like. Is that warmth I feel not happiness? I don't know how to quantify something I feel like I've never really felt. I know what dead and cold and inert inside feels like. Everything else is a moving target I can't grasp..."
There's a weak little chuckle as they admit, "The Homunculus really knew better what it wanted than even I do. ... I know I don't want the opposite of-- that is, having you further away."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
"...Yeah. They are." Shinobu agrees, with a slight smile. "They can be, uh. Pretty messy and confusing."
Shinobu asks her question, and Myunghon admits that they're not sure, that they're not even sure that what they have with Tsumugi is happy...
They don't know what happy feels like.
...Shinobu thinks about that for a moment, her gaze falling to the floor as she thinks it over - then, after a moment, back up at them.
"...Then... I'll be right here, when you need me." She says. "I don't... want us to get further away, either."
<Pose Tracker> Myunghon Yeo has posed.
Shinobu agrees on feelings being messy and confusing. That's certainly a way they feel they are right now...
There is a part of Myunghon that feels terrified at how -- negative they're being. Negative tends to draw criticism; it's so classically Japanese to ball away one's fears until they become part of the facade, after all. But it's true that they've never felt like they have ever been able to quantify happiness. The cold, absent childhood. The way in which they feel always out of step with society, such that the only way they feel they can try to slip in is to mask and be performative of whichever role is most useful at present...
...
Is there a person left to be affectionate about, at this point? That was what Tsumugi awakened. And as Shinobu takes her own time and gives them an answer...
It does... feel warm. They quietly reach for Shinobu's hand, drawing it up to that chocolate blouse of theirs. It's maybe not lost on them that they aren't dressed in one of their funerary suits, right now.
"I do... feel glad you feel the same way," Myunghon tries to keep their mind from racing further, as it inevitably starts wondering what this *means*, where the correct cues are, what's incorrect to say at this point--
It doesn't matter right now, they decide.
Myunghon leans against Shinobu's side, still with that hand of hers held if she lets them. "Can we... stay like this for longer? I don't have words for what this is, but..."
If you want it, reach out for it.
"I do want this, right now."
<Pose Tracker> Shinobu Shimizu has posed.
Myunghon reaches for her hand - she lets them take it, and doesn't pull away as they draw it closer to them. She nods.
"I was worried about it." She admits. "Maybe I shouldn't have, but..."
She trails off there, letting the thought lie unfinished. They lean against her side.
"...Yeah. I'm not goin' anywhere. Take all the time you need." Shinobu assures.