2025-11-08: Tempering the Devil
- Log: Tempering the Devil
- Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Kawase Residence
- OOC Date: 2025-11-08
- IC Date: Technically, The Very Earliest Post-Dark Hours Of Tue Aug 07 2012; Effectively Treated As More Of Mon Aug 06 2012
- Summary: Ichika and Tsubasa limp home to lick their wounds together following their fight with Shiryuu. Ichika cares for Tsubasa by kneading out the tension in their shoulders -- and then by listening to their substantial fears as the combined threat of Eiji's human trafficking and Shiryuu's kidnapping intentions overwhelm any kind of front they could put up about it. Ichika might not need or want to be saved... but it's an entirely different story with Tsubasa.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa protected Ichika from the Shadows in the Dark Hour, and it didn't occur to them at any point there that they could just use Mementos to get home. No: they had to take one of the night-ride busses, once everyone got out of their coffins, scaring up a seat for themselves. (Tsubasa, naturally, sat in the aisle to make sure no one standing next to them got any big ideas.)
Luckily, Ichika warned her mother they'd be out late, so she didn't stay up late worrying about them. It means that Ichika can sneak the first-aid kit up into her room without, you know, questions. Luckily, they know that the first thing to do with scratches is to wash them out, which means hopping in the shower.
Separately, obviously. C'mon.
Ichika went first, so she's already in her room sorting out how hurt she is when Tsubasa opens the door to slink in, too. With all their concealer washed off, they have a distinctly piebald look to them; they shoved their wig right on their head again, but it can't really cover up the stark contrast of their darkened scars and artificially-darker skin.
They also had to take their binder off in preparation for going to bed, trading it in for the shorts and tank top they sleep in. That obviously sucks, but at least Ichika doesn't make a big deal about it or nothin'.
At least at a glance, they don't look too banged up, aside from a couple of bruises. They still wince a bit as they lower down onto the floor beside Ichika, though.
"... how it lookin'?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika needed some protection; she was out of it. It didn't occur to her at all to do anything but walk and then take a bus, but she appreciated Tsubasa in the aisle seat when they did. Obviously Ichika went first on the shower, and...
Ichika's not going to make a big deal about Tsubasa's scars or body in general, no. She's busy noticing what big deals there are for herself. Ichika glances Tsubasa's way as they approach, noticing the bruises and the wince both, and then sighs.
She's seated, her legs bare, wearing a long shirt and some underwear, a pretty typical sleeping arrangement for her. She has a number of bruises too, but that's not what she notes.
"...Mostly stuff that'll just heal," she says. "But I've got this like... welt from where I healed over a cut..." Ichika moves to lift her shirt--but, carefully, only to expose her midriff and sides, instead of her whole upper body. "Can you have a look at it for me?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa was... not out of it. No -- they couldn't stop being in it. They struggle with paranoia at the best of times; now, right after an attack from a real-ass fucking ninja who wants to kidnap them and make them do -- fuckin' -- something?
... they're very firmly activated, no matter what Ryouhara said about letting them go for tonight.
"Sure," they say, planting a hand to scooch over beside her when she asks. There's just a ghost of a pause, and an, "Uh, sorry...", as they lean down to examine the welt across her skin.
(There's another wince from them as they do so; they don't comment on it.)
"... looks like he coulda dug out ya kidney if ya weren't armored up," they scowl, tracing two fingers delicately around the mark and finding the edge of her ribcage, looking to her side and behind her. How Tsubasa knows where Ichika's kidneys are is a question they leave unanswered, as they instead scowl. "Guess he really is some kinda weird cultist murder machine guy."
They pause, for a moment, gazing down in thought at the wounds she might not be carrying, if they hadn't... "Sec," they rumble, as they lean back over to grab the wound ointment. "... skin ain't broke or nothin', but this shit can make it less annoyin'." Don't ask Tsubasa how skin remodelling works, they just know that this shit gets itchy as hell when it's healing.
And, "sorry," they aside, again, as they smooth it over the welt as gently as they can.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Part of it for Ichika is just trusting Tsubasa. Part of it is being just this side of conscious for the first while of the trip, though the bus ride refreshed her some. And now, she's on the floor with Tsubasa, and the ghost of a pause. "It's fine," Ichika says, shaking her head, assuming it's just 'touching her at all'--she frowns, but not because of that. She frowns because of Tsubasa's wince.
"Hey..."
But that answer--a scowled response. Ichika winces at the mark, and her skin, other than the injury, is soft; she just showered, after all. She... does not ask about her kidneys. Kidneys are in there somewhere. "I guess," Ichika agrees.
"Thanks," Ichika says. "...It's cool," she says, but she does grit her teeth slightly. The fact that she's felt worse doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, just that she doesn't cry out or anything.
Still sucks.
"...I'll get yours after, OK?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"It's cool," Tsubasa assures her, though of course, it's Tsubasa. They would assure her it was cool if they were stuck in a bear trap, probably.
She doesn't cry out, though. She's tough. Tsubasa appreciates that, even as they try to make it easier on her. ... and her skin is very soft. They remember enough from their brother to know that's a good thing, even beyond the obvious.
Though, you know, there's also the obvious. "... sorry. You got all messed up 'cuz a me."
Tsubasa straightens up, not quite managing to look at her. "Should be all good... you feel anythin' else fucked up? Didn't see nothin' on ya back..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
They would. It's true.
But Ichika does her best to weather it, and doesn't say much else in the moment. She's glad in turn that Tsubasa is OK with this; trying to do it herself would be... hard. And besides, the obvious, "It's cool," Ichika assures Tsubasa. "Good cause. And I'll heal. I bet it won't even scar with all this Persona bullshit."
They don't quite look at her, and Ichika lowers her shirt over the ointment and bandages, in hopes it might help. "Thanks," she says. "...I appreciate it; I know you're not big on... touching," she says.
She pauses. "I don't think so. I've got a bunch of bruises and shit, but I don't think there's anything we can do about those." She gestures her her bare legs.
"...How about you? You wanna talk about all that wincing?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"... cool," Tsubasa says, when Ichika assures them it won't scar. "Wouldn't wanna do ya like that."
They've always been more upset about Ichika getting scarred up than over them getting another marking, though.
They shake their head, though, when she acknowledges their fear of touch. "No, it's -- it's cool if it's you, man, I jus'..." Their pause is a little longer than can be held in a single ellipses, so try two: "... feel bad."
Was he targeting her because of them...? That's the kind of thought running through their head.
But Ichika is perceptive, and Tsubasa freezes up, for a moment. "I-I--" they start, looking up, before they hang their head. "You noticed, huh..."
They take a breath. "Uh... it's me back, I think. You don't gotta, uh... but if you can jus' make sure it's cool, like..."
... if she can get around their awkwardness to get behind them, they will, at least, take off their shirt to reveal the long, bruising welt across their shoulderblades.
(And what she might note, on inspection, is how not soft their shoulders are. They're carrying so much tension in their back that you could probably shatter a rock on that thing.)
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I know," Ichika says softly. She knows how important scars--how much they matter--to Tsubasa. But it's cool if it's her... Ichika smiles. "I'm glad," she says. "...I like it, that's it's OK that it's me." She pauses. "But you don't have to feel bad. I'll always have your back. ...It was my own fault for not paying as much attention to defense. I gotta learn to balance..."
She noticed.
"OK," Ichika says. "I got it."
Without taking 'awkward' for an answer, Ichika scoots around to Tsubasa's back, and waits. When Tsubasa takes off their shirt, Ichika frowns down, up on her knees in order to get a better look. "Tsubasa..."
She winces in sympathy. "That's rough," she says. "Yeah, your back's a little fucked up. But it's worse, since you've got so much tension..."
"...I gotta do something for this. I got the ointment, but can I maybe rub your shoulders? If you're this tense you're not gonna heal right."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Cool," Tsubasa smiles, if briefly, when Ichika says she likes that.
But... "... if I weren't always goin' off half-cocked, you wouldna needta spend all ya time coverin' for me." Tsubasa hasn't missed the fact that Ichika's nursing more bruises than they are, after that.
They lean over to reach up and grab a pillow from Ichika's bed, hugging that to their front as Ichika shifts up to her knees. (Like, maybe she'd be cool seeing something like that if they were a girl, but they're not, so it's kind of weird, right?) "... yeah?" They ask, glancing back.
"He really coulda junked me if you hadn't thrown that shield up... plus that Persona an' shit. Guess that means he's the real deal, huh..." He must be real fucking strong if he managed to deal damage even through so many layers of protection. ... but really, reflecting on Ryouhara's impact is just a way of getting some more time to answer the big question, there.
"... I, uh... I mean, I know I'm kinda stiff, I jus'... never liked goin' for the massages an' shit. Like, the physical therapy always sucked, man..." ... living with the level of scarification Tsubasa does must have involved a much more involved recovery process than just waiting for the burns to heal, huh?
So it takes them a minute.
"... but... it's okay if you wanna give it a shot," Tsubasa's gaze shifts back forward, chin resting on the top of that pillow. "Sure. Jus'... might be tough."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Mm," Ichika answers after the brief smile fades and the 'but' comes in. "If you didn't press him, then it might've gone worse. I can push back, but I'm best at keeping people up. ...You're the one with the real talent for breaking shit. I'm good at it, but you're great at it."
Ichika's happy to share a pillow; she's not interested in lingering on things that make Tsubasa uncomfortable. ...Would it make her uncomfortable?
Well, no. It's Tsubasa. She'd be safe with them, right?
"Maybe next time I'll put a shield up on me, too," she grouses. But how strong he is? "...Yeah, he's real strong," the Boss agrees. "Definitely. But not unbeatable. He says he's gonna step up his prep, we'll just have to get stronger, too."
But stiff, and...
"Ah," Ichika says. "Yeah, I bet..."
It sucked.
"...OK," Ichika says. "Lemme put on some of this gunk, then..."
Ichika gently applies the healing ointment, as gently as she's able. Her fingertips are soft against Tsubasa's rough, scarred skin, and she's slow with it.
Only after that does she start to settle her hands up on Tsubasa's shoulders. "...It's fine if it's tough," she says. "I just want... to do what I can."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah... guess that's true," Tsubasa accepts being better at smashing. "I was way more wrecked last time I fought him, tho'... you're really somethin' on the defence, Ichika."
Next time, though... "Good plan," Tsubasa nods. "Tho'... uh... kinda... freakin' out 'bout him steppin' it up. Dunno... why he wants my ass that bad, man..."
Gee, Tsubasa, maybe it has something to do with you being a GOD DAMN FREIGHT TRAIN.
They wince a little when Ichika rubs that ointment in, but they don't issue a word of complaint; they know she's being as gentle as she can be. There's a lot of scarring up their back, and like most of them they radiate from right to left, but the severity of those scars does seem to be worse at their shoulderblades despite the pattern.
(It might not be impossible to imagine them falling against a desk -- and there, leant against it, suffering far worse on one side than the other.)
Scar tissue is tough, though, even beyond the stiff knots of their shoulders. Ichika might be inclined to be gentle, but she'll soon find that she won't get far with a light touch at all. "It's okay," Tsubasa assures her. "... I trust you, y'know?"
They'll still hiss at the feeling of Ichika really doing what she can, but they assure her, again: "It's cool. It's cool." And despite the way they're all tensed up, they do trust her; once they're able to relax into it, they heave a deep sigh, as if being relieved of some great burden.
(Well, it is literally a weight off their back.)
"... it's nice," they assure her, quietly.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Thanks," Ichika says. "I dunno why, but that's what my Persona is good at. It's why I have a shield, probably."
But, "...I dunno either. If he wants you to do stuff for him, it's probably because you're strong. But he didn't exactly stop and explain his reasoning, either."
When they wince, Ichika still does her best; she can indeed imagine more of that event, of falling against a desk, of being worse on one side... But...
"I'm gonna have to go harder," Ichika agrees with Tsubasa saying they trust her. "Just tell me if it hurts in a bad way, OK?"
Despite their softness, her fingers are strong. She rubs, pushing in tension and rolling muscle as best she's able. It's cool, Tsubasa says, and...
And it seems to help.
Ichika smiles.
"...Little more," she says, and admittedly, it's nice to get so familiar with the warp of Tsubasa's scars; it's nice to use her hands, and see that Tsubasa feels better.
She doesn't think too much about why that would be.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"'Cuz ya lookin' out for us all the time, prolly," Tsubasa suggests. "Like... c'mon, ya got to be the Boss jus' 'cuz ya didn't like how the Foundry Boss were pushin' us 'round. I threw a punch at ya, an' you still stuck up for us... coulda kept ya head down."
They hug their pillow a little tighter, as they admit: "... really freaks me out. Like, him sayin' he'd find a use for me even without hands to hold my sword... what the fuck, man." It is, at least, probably not the first thing they might think of; but being used as some kind of cosmic battery or whatever isn't exactly a comforting alternative in Tsubasa's mind.
"Sure," they affirm, when she asks. And they do hiss and grunt a little, but they keep assuring her it's cool, actually, even if tears are springing to their eyes.
(It is cool. They don't really... want her to stop.)
"... feels so much better, man," they murmur, and it's something Ichika can quite literally feel: as she kneads the tension out of their muscles, there's more give under their skin, even where she can feel the texture of their scars. And it's curious, really, those scars; she'll find that some of them are superficial, barely notable but for the visual marring, while others feel thicker under her skin; and some are textured, like the gnarled bark she might be used to encountering in her camping trips, while others are smoother than the skin around them for their lack of hair. There's no universal quality to any of them, despite how much they might appear like one unit at a distance.
They manage to relax so much, even, that at some point they even just tilt back to lean their back against Ichika's chest, and it doesn't even register for a moment.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Hm." Ichika is thoughtful about that one. "I guess that's true," she says. "I'd rather keep people going than knock down the other guy, anyway. It's more important to me that you come out of the battle, you know?"
But it freaks them out... "Yeah, it's fucked," Ichika agrees. "But who knows with that? He's some kind of ninja who grew up fighting all the time. He doesn't think like you or me."
But sure. And...
Ichika doesn't really want to stop, either. With that murmur, Ichika's smile broadens slightly. She is curious about each of those differences, each of those textures; she doesn't quite memorize them, but she marvels at each. A scar, apparently, can be a lot more than just 'an imperfection'.
When Tsubasa leans back, Ichika continues a little longer, but also after a few moments sighs.
"...I'm glad," she says.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Glad it's you at my back," Tsubasa says, when Ichika muses about her own viciousness quotient. "Tell ya that much."
And, well, it's literally true, but also figuratively true.
"Guess he's fucked in the head like that," Tsubasa sighs. "I was talkin' mad shit, but... he scares me."
... maybe she could, one day. Memorise them. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.
They do realise they've kind of sunk back into her, eventually, but... even if it's just for a minute, they're not in that much of a hurry to straighten up. "It was nice," they say, softly, and at least halfway into their pillow. "Normally I ain't about people touchin' my scars like that, but... felt safe for you to do it."
Ichika just... isn't the kind of girl to judge them seeing them up close.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika nods quietly. "Me, too," she says. "Wouldn't want to be somewhere else."
It's both! As to that guy, though, "Yeah. He's scary. That's fair, you know?"
It wouldn't be so bad at all. ...But Ichika doesn't really stop to think about it at the moment. Her slow sigh lets Tsubasa settle a little further against her, and she doesn't mind either. It was nice. Ichika lets her hands rest on Tsubasa's shoulders, and says, "I'm really glad. I wanted to make you feel good."
She isn't. She's seen those scars, and felt them, and it's just not like that.
"I want you to feel safe with me," she says. "Like we talked about. Like I feel with you."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
It's super fair. Luckily, Tsubasa's not facing him alone. There's Ichika, at their back... and now, she's a backrest!
Something about that clicks in their mind, though their fake tan does an excellent job covering the colour in their cheeks, but Ichika resting her hands on their shoulders reassures them anyway. It's fine, right? Right.
"You did," they reply, their gruff voice gentled still.
They glance aside, gaze settling on her fingers at their shoulder, and they smile. "I do," they say. "I'm... really safe with you, Ichika. It really matters to me... since I don't feel safe most times. But when I'm with you, I..."
They trail off, though they're still smiling. "I dunno... how to put it, really, I... I'm jus' real glad you're here, y'know? Uh... actually, I... I wanted to ask," they add, taking a breath.
"... would it be cool if I stuck with you tonight? Uh, I know that's usually your call, I jus'... jus' kinda spooked, so..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika doesn't notice the color under the fake tan; she's looking into nothing in particular at the moment, head back, eyes gazing towards the ceiling. She seems to think it's fine, given that she isn't moving or anything. So...
"Great," Ichika says.
"I know," the tall girl says quietly. "You don't."
With her, though... Ichika smiles. That's the kind of feeling she wants to give someone. Tsubasa, especially.
"That's OK," she says. "I'm glad to be here. And hm?"
Would it be cool if...
"Sure," Ichika says, her voice likewise gentle. "Stick around. There's room for you. I'd be happy for you to be here."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Cool," Tsubasa can't seem to stop smiling, which is weird, for them, their face is kind of fixed in a permanent scowl most of the time. "It's just... nice. Y'know."
At some point, they'll probably remember to put their shirt back on instead of wearing that pillow! But... that would mean getting up.
They can put it off another minute, it's fine.
"That Ryouhara guy... was kinda gettin' in my head sayin' how it was my fault... with like, consequences an' shit. I was thinkin', like, if I hadn't said shit, he wouldna hit ya that hard... but that's stupid, yeah? He can't get a piece a me without gettin' you up in his grill. Ain't how it works."
They called them a package deal, back there. And she...
"... was kinda nice, tho'," they mutter. "Uh... callin' me ya Phoenix when he was tryin' ta act like he just had free reign over me... like, cool to remember I had roots somewhere else."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
It's unusual, but good. It's nice. And Ichika finds Tsubasa to be warm and comfortable where they are.
"...Mm. Yeah. They act like it's your fault, what they do. It sucks."
"...But that's just right, too. It's not how it works. You and me, we go together. We're friends like that. ....and..."
"You don't mind?" Ichika wonders. "I wasn't sure... I thought about it after, and it was kind of..."
"Well, if you don't mind, it's good then. You do have roots, you know?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah... guess it works 'cuz we heard it before." It's what they do, after all.
Sometimes, a song's just familiar.
Tsubasa's heart warms, hearing Ichika say they go together. Even when that freaky ninja guy wants to kidnap them, they're not in this shit alone.
Their head tilts back, to regard Ichika, though of course it's more symbolic than anything; they sure as hell can't see her face, back there. "Mm," they rumble, deep in their chest. "Figured you'd worry 'bout it. But it's cool, Ichika... weren't that kinda context. An' you ain't pushin' me into shit. It was, like..."
Tsubasa's gaze falls forward again, onto one of Ichika's posters. "... like, I get the feelin' he really thinks he owns people, y'know? An' he's already decided... he's owed me. It was... really freaky, man, like... I don't... even know what I can say to it 'sides from talkin' some shit. But you, like... you were sayin' you had a problem with that, y'know? Like, it weren't... somethin' he just got to say outta nowhere. So..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Mm-hm."
Symbolic, but it works OK; Ichika glances back down from the ceiling, though she can't really see Tsubasa's face either. But hm? "...OK," she says. "As long as... You know, it's like that." Not pushing. But instead...
"Right. And you can't... own somebody like that. Or no... You can. But I don't want to be like that. I don't want it to be like that for you, either."
The poster is a beautiful landscape of a mountain forest, this time.
"Let's keep talking shit about it, if we see him again," Ichika says. "Show him what that's worth."
"...Because I do have a problem with that. And don't you forget it... OK?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa nods. "It's cool." It's not pushy; if anything, they sound relieved.
Though... Ichika knows very well that it's possible. That's why they're so unnerved, surely. "You're not," they assure her.
She has a plan, though, and Tsubasa breathes out, nodding as they contemplate the landscape. "You got it," they say. "I'm runnin' with you... that's the choice I made. And that's what I want, y'know? That guy..."
They reach up, to touch Ichika's hand, on their shoulder. "I really don't wanna find out what happens if I gotta go back with him," they say, and they sound unsettled, understated as their less-angry emotions usually are. "Says he wants me to do 'somethin'... gotta be killin' some guy, right? Shit, man... I jus' made my peace with gettin' fucked up, like, personally, but... if it ain't me coppin' it, if it's me fuckin' some other guy up... fuck, but I guess there ain't nothin' stoppin' the other fuck from doin' that either, huh?" Because of course Eiji's buyers likely would be the kinds of people who wanted kneecaps broken, and they do have that kind of face...
It's not like they have a problem with violence, but even when Ichika's told them to jump a guy, they've agreed with her, you know? Or at least felt neutral on it. Not having a choice is -- another thing entirely.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Relieved is... good.
"OK." She's not. That will do. And she does have a plan, more or less. It's not foolproof, but it seemed to throw him off to keep pushing back, so...
Ichika curls her fingers a little under Tsubasa's touch. "Yeah," she agrees. "Wouldn't surprise me. I mean, that's what he does, right? It's what he tends to want to. But like..."
Ichika shakes her head. "Hey, it's not going to go like that. ...And even if that fucked up ninja gets you, I'll come for you. OK? I promise. So just... hang in there."
Violence...
"...But for now," Ichika says, "I'm a little tired..."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"You promise...?" Tsubasa asks, softly. "Even if I come back... different...?"
... they can imagine a lot going wrong, apparently.
They take a breath, squeezing her hand, and perhaps it's the only way they can manage assuring her they'll try and hold on.
Tsubasa takes a breath, though, glancing back to her. "... yeah," they agree, and finally hoist themself back forward -- just kinda grabbing onto the underside of the bed to steady themself, it's fine. "Sec' --"
They grab their tank top and yank it back on, so they can toss Ichika's pillow back up onto her bed where it belongs.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"The important part is you coming back," Ichika says. "Yeah. I promise, I'll go after you."
They can, but...
Tsubasa moves forward, and Ichika drags herself up a few moments later. Her legs are partly asleep, but that's not so bad.
"Mm," Ichika vocalizes. "Just kinda hitting me all at once..."
But she won't actually fall asleep immediately, even though she starts to pad onto the bed now.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Thanks," Tsubasa says, quietly. "Like... really."
... it's a touch understated, but the entire reason Eiji targeted them for his threats was the idea that their family wouldn't care if they disappeared. And even if Ichika doesn't have any power to mobilise the police... the idea that she'd go after them, no matter what...
... well, they don't want to be forgotten.
The last thing Tsubasa does before flopping into bed is tossing their wig over onto the bedside table; they've tried sleeping with them on, but it just ends with the wigs all tangled and awful. It means they're in range to turn the bedside light off, too.
They're a distaff mirror to the Boss, lying on their belly instead of their back -- and no wonder, perhaps, with that nasty bruising welt across it. A few moments pass, the covers rustle...
"Can I..." Tsubasa mumbles, slipping a hand around Ichika's side, not quite managing to finish their thought but getting the message across pretty well anyway. Once they're sure they're not going to be shoved off, they wriggle in to latch an arm about her midsection, careful to avoid her own injury as they rest their head at her shoulder, their spare arm sprawled out over the pillows.
Usually, they're the ones offering her comfort, in an arrangement like this. But... they must really be scared, huh?
Their breath comes in a touch uneven and ragged; in the dark, it's not immediately obvious that their cheeks have grown damp. They try not to call attention to the fact that they have emotions, though they latch themself to her quite firmly.
It's fine, it's cool, it's all good...
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Understated, sure. But Ichika's used to understatement from Tsubasa. She can't mobilize the police, and even her father can't take the place of Tsubasa's father to legally find them... But she can go looking. She can do something. Or at least try.
She won't forget them.
The bedside light goes off, and by that point Ichika's in bed, too. She likes the side farther from the light if someone's with her, where they're between her and the outside. She lays on her back, looking up to the ceiling for the moment, and puts an arm out for Tsubasa to get over. Her injury is on the other side, so it's possible to avoid it. ...But they are scared.
And Ichika is glad she can help.
"..."
"It's OK," Ichika says, and wraps that arm around Tsubasa, turning her head to look at them a little. "...It's OK."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Tsubasa's always been happy to body-block between Ichika and a world which is a bit too grab-happy, though, being fair, it's something they have more occasion to do on public transport than in her bed. Even when they're the ones under threat of being grabbed...
... it's still a different vibe. They'd still grant that Ichika has way more reasons to prefer not being exposed.
(They want to protect her, too.)
Tsubasa sighs, looking up to Ichika, in the dark. "Thanks," they murmur, again. "Night..."
And they do mean that, surely; they don't intend to keep her up, when she's gotten slammed by all this horror, when she's tired. But their breath doesn't even out to slumber-regular; their gaze keeps tracking the outline of her face, the pillow behind her.
It's hard for them to tell how much time passes; lying down like this, it's like it could have been an eternity or five minutes. (Objectively, it's way closer to the latter than the former, though.) Eventually, they breathe out, in a sigh.
"Hey... Ichika... you still awake?" Ventured quietly, and cautiously.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Being on the 'inside' isn't something Ichika thinks about consciously for the most part; it's just where she goes. It's a habit. But... she does want to protect Tsubasa, in the moment, too.
"Night," Ichika says, and her own breathing is quiet and steady, her eyes closed. Her nose cuts the shadow a little, her bare lips together, her cheek lit by the little bit of light coming in from under the door. The pillow deforms a bit under her head.
She doesn't really track the time either...
"I'm awake," Ichika says quietly, and turns her head slightly to the side, to peer at Tsubasa. "Can't sleep?" she wonders.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Mm," Tsubasa hums, looking to the outline of her. Their own is quite different, sans wig; they do still have some hair, but far less on one side of their head than the other, and it's all clipped quite short.
"... I been lookin' it up. Like... traffickin'. How they get sent off to be some guy's wife in China, or get shoved in another country an' get their visas stolen so they gotta go in for like, farm work or construction or... other... shit. Or... gettin' stuck with some rich prick. None a that ever said shit 'bout gettin' pushed into killin' a guy, but... like... y'know the weird thing?"
Tsubasa's quiet, for a moment. "... couldn't find shit 'bout what any those guys were doin' after. Jus'... a bunch a shit about how great other people were for rescuin' 'em. But those people... like... seems like they disappear, even after they get out. Like... they're jus' kinda... ruined, an'..."
They trail off, for another long moment.
"... I was... thinkin'. Thinkin' how... maybe Uchida-san was right, an'... bein' good at details would make me some kinda decent detective or whatever. Like... maybe I could do that. But if Ryouhara has his way with me, like... I end up havin' to kill a guy, break his legs, whatever... cops already hate me. They ain't gonna care I had to do it. An' I mean, even if it's not... makin' use of me like that, it's..."
Tsubasa swallows. "... gettin'... made to do it... y'know. Feels like every time I push back on that, I get punished. Told Yasuda to eat a dick, an' my father threw me out... told my father to eat a dick, now I got two fuckers lookin' to steal me off the street. Try to be a tough guy about it, jus'... don't see... how I land this."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika listens, looking back up to the ceiling so that she can focus on words instead of being unable to see Tsubasa on her shoulder in the dark. And as they speak...
"Mm..." She's looked it up some, too--to learn more about what her ex-fiance is doing. To understand just how far he's gone.
But the weird thing...
"..."
She listens, further, without interrupting at first. Until Tsubasa finishes.
"So," Ichika says, "...I don't think that's why you don't hear about the people who get rescued."
"I think it's because... They've had enough of their lives decided for them. Any responsible reporter would let them live their lives without too much scrutiny--wouldn't publish the details that made them into a spectacle."
"...I think you'd be good at detective stuff, yeah. And you can do it without being a cop, like her. But like..."
She bites her lip.
"...When you get... forced..."
"It's awful. But..."
"But I can't believe it 'ruins' you. Maybe that's why I sleep around. To prove to myself that it didn't. That I can still be happy... still love."
"So if something happens, it's not the end. That's what I think."
"Land it with the people who care about you. Like me. We'll figure out all the details. ...You don't have to do it on your own."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"So that's private, but the shit that happened ain't... how ya get out from under that? Do a job interview when that's the shit what comes up when they search ya? Even... get there to start with?" Tsubasa's more pessimistic about the future; that's hardly new, but it's more sad than usual when the future is this bleak.
"Mm... don't wanna be a fuckin' cop," they add, because for all Reiko and Katsuya are good as far as cops are concerned they're also the exceptions.
They tighten their grip, a little. "... sorry, man. I ain't... sayin' nothin' 'bout you. Ain't thought shit like that. Jus' -- jus' everythin' 'bout this, it's 'bout how girls' lives are gettin' ruined -- an' they're always talkin' 'bout girls, man -- jus', jus', how they pitiful an' miserable an' forgotten an' need savin' an'... an' how most of 'em end up in a ditch somewhere 'cuz their lives didn't mean nothin' anyway."
Tsubasa's fingers curl, into Ichika's nightshirt. "I was jus'... lyin' here, thinkin'... what'd be easier? Gettin' pushed into violence, or... like... an' I feel like such a piece of shit, man, thinkin' at least if it were them it weren't gonna be me, like I'd be cool with stabbin' a guy if they kept their hands off me. Like... I gotta make my peace with it, like... there's no escapin' it. An'... I'm scared of the kind of guy I end up as... when I ain't got no choice. Like... if I can weigh 'em up an' come down on one side... what if I was always that kinda person? Like, fuck, I looked up Revenge Request, ain't like I'm innocent..." ... the fact that they never made a Request apparently doesn't factor into their innocence, in their mind.
"I jus'... feel... helpless," they admit, slowly. "Like... you know what I mean...? Like it's jus', it's gonna happen, one guy or another, I jus' gotta... find a way to live with it..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...Mm," Ichika says. "I dunno. I mean, you'd think they wouldn't publicize the details of who got rescued either," Ichika points out, "But I guess sometimes they do. There's not really any winning with it..."
Who wants to be a cop? Ichika sure doesn't.
"No, I didn't mean it like that," Ichika counters, shaking her head. Girls, ruined...
"...No, I get it," she says. "I had to stop myself from telling Ryuji-kun I was 'damaged goods' just to warn him. I've thought more than once that Eiji just... ruined me. Forever."
"...But I think," Ichika says, "People just get off on 'those poor girls'." She remarks it bitterly, thinking about it. "It's useful to talk about. Because it makes people react. ...Sucks."
Ichika's shirt is really just a particularly long T-shirt, but it'll do for a nightshirt. But easier...?
"It's fucked either way though, isn't it?" Ichika asks. "Whether it's something they do to you or something they make you do, it's not like... You didn't pick it. It's fucked up either way."
"I don't think it says anything about who you are."
But helpless....
"Yeah," Ichika says. "I'm trying not to. Trying to think... what I can do."
"...It's OK to feel backed into a corner when you are backed into a corner, right?" Ichika says. "Because you have been. We can try and get you out, and I'm gonna keep trying, but..."
"Nothing wrong with feeling grim when shit's grim."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah," Tsubasa sighs. "Jus'... feels like when ya get trafficked, like... you ain't a player no more. Jus'... some kinda prop... one way or another."
They can relate to feeling ruined, of course, though Hajime never forced them; they just wear their scars on the outside instead of in. "Sorry," they mumble, when she relates how she thought Eiji ruined her. "Can't be easy... hearin' me worry 'bout him doin' that to me too. I tried... like... I'm tryin' to be cool about it... j--jus'..." And the way their voice hitches on that adverb may well carry home something truly wretched:
Eiji has many victims, now.
She escaped, but he's still...
"... but I guess that's true," they add, a moment later. "Like... they ain't really listenin'. Don't really... wanna listen. If they did, they'd see how great you are, man... how strong you are."
Their cheek turns, against Ichika's shoulder, as Ichika points out how fucked up it is. "... yeah. I... I dunno, maybe... maybe I'm just... tryin' to control it... but it's fuckin' me up 'cuz I can't, man. Like -- like even this Ryouhara guy -- sayin' I got consequences -- I'm fuckin' scared, man, like, what've I done? I shoulda just listened... that's what I keep thinkin'... an' I'm... ashamed a that."
Tsubasa hugs Ichika, a little tighter. "Like, I -- I ain't a guy with a plan -- y'know? Ain't never wanted to be the Boss or nothin', ain't much for makin' calls... I oughta be smarter 'bout it. Oughta be... figurin' out how to save ya. But all I got is this stupid big sword an' bein' dead fuckin' mad 'bout it... but even if punchin' your asshole would fix shit, I couldn't lay a finger on 'im, an'... beatin' Ryouhara down jus' seems to make 'im more determined to have me." But even if they hadn't put up a fight... would he have just killed them, then?
This whole thing is seriously a no-win situation, man.
"Fuck, tho'... you're right. It's grim as shit." Tsubasa buries their face against Ichika's shoulder a little more, admitting that. "Jus'... been hard for me, like... I was managin', not great, but... but now this Ryouhara guy, too, an'... it's like it all just smashed through the wall an'..." They can't quite manage to finish a sentence, trailing and trailing and trailing, until they take a breath. "Reckon... maybe it's easy for me to get told me life don't matter much. Maybe... that's why guys like that are aimin' at guys like me. Lotta corners in my life to back me up to, I guess..."
Snif.
"... but, like... feels hopeless, but... I know you wouldn't let it rock if someone took me. Know you'd get me back. Jus'... jus' thinkin', like... what kinda person you'd find when you did, or... or what happens if Ryouhara figures out how to make me fight you. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but that music, man, I jus' wanted to tear shit up... so I get scared, like... like... but that's it, huh? I'm scared. Feels like I oughta be a rock for you, but I'm jus'... so scared, man. Scared for me, an' like, scared 'bout what happens to you... fuck."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I get it." Not a player.
But Ichika squeezes Tsubasa's shoulder when they apologize. "Don't worry about that. I'm sharing because I want you to know you're not alone. Not to make you feel bad."
Ichika knows. That's why she has to do something about it. ...She wants Tsubasa to be able to help that, but she doesn't even know how it'll go yet--how can she share her plans? Maybe soon...
"...I won't let him get away with it," she says. "One way or another, we'll find something. Even if..."
Could she do it? Could she take him out herself? Maybe when he wasn't paying attention...
Ichika shivers, but not from cold. There are others, now.
"Thanks," Ichika says. "But they're not."
Ichika is soft, squishy even where Tsubasa is hugging her. And she tightens her arm a little around them, too. "Who says?" Ichika wonders. "Who says you need to be smart about it, need to figure it out for me?"
She pauses. "If we hadn't fought, he'd just have taken you. That's worse."
But... Grim. "Probably," Ichika says of why guys like that aim at guys like them. "You don't have to manage it all by yourself."
"..."
"...I lost a lot," Ichika says. "I'm not the same person I was, before all that."
"You'd lose something, too. But that doesn't mean it'd change how I feel."
"It's OK, being scared. I am, too. There's a lot out there that's scary, even just with those two..."
"I don't want a rock," she says. "I don't want a rescuer."
"So don't worry about being all this stuff I don't even want, OK?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Ah, yeah..." They were doing it again, Tsubasa thinks, deprioritising their own feelings because Ichika's clearly mattered more. But there's no way she'd want that, huh...?
... clearly, Tsubasa's in kind of a fragile place here, too. Maybe waiting a little bit to introduce them to the help she's scaring up isn't the worst idea in the world. Particularly as they promise, "We'll find somethin'... gotta be a way. Even if it's fucked up, I ain't got much future 'tween this rock 'an a hard place..."
How far would they go for her? It's clearly shaking them deeply, too.
Tsubasa... is a little squishier than they were, given all the work Ichika put in. (Well, not just that, either; but they'd rather not dwell on that part.) "I... I dunno, man..." They say, a touch uncertain, when she asks those questions. It's just -- what they're supposed to do, right?
They're supposed to be on top of things, right?
"Mm... yeah," they hum, when she points out that Ryouhara would have just grabbed them otherwise. "Jus'... scared a what he'll do to ya now."
Still... they'd lose something, but...
"I know," they say, a touch frustrated, though they're frustrated with themself. "I know, I jus' -- I dunno what to do -- how to help, or -- or even need help, y'know? Even how that shit balances out... how both those things are true... like somethins' gotta win out, right? Somethins' gotta be more important. But then I tell myself it don't matter what happens to me, then somethin' like this happens an' -- an' --"
Tsubasa breathes a jagged sigh. "... is it bad, Ichika, like... thinkin' I'm in trouble... thinkin' I need rescuin'? Fuck, you're tough as shit, an' I... all I can hold onto is thinkin' you wouldn't look at me different..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
She sure doesn't want that. ...As for fragile places, Ichika does think it's better to avoid mentioning it yet... But she's thinking pretty extreme potential solutions, too. She's not sure she could go through with them, but...
"Something," Ichika agrees.
But they don't know; they're uncertain. Still...
What Ryouhara would do? "I don't know. But whatever he does, it's on him, not you. We'll go from there."
But there--that may be the core of it. Something has to win out? Be more important? Ichika isn't so sure of that one, especially since, "...It does matter what happens to you," she says. "It matters to me."
Ichika pauses--and then sighs, closing her eyes. "No," she says. "It's not bad."
"It's just different from what I need, that's all. ...So..."
"Leave it to me, Tsubasa. I'll save you. When it comes down to the wire, when it's all over but that..."
"I'll come for you."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Really ain't my fault...?" Tsubasa wonders; Shiryuu must have really gotten into their head, with that one. "O--okay. F-from there, yeah."
But... it matters to Ichika, what happens to them. It's hard for Tsubasa to balance both those things in their head at once, but they can at least suppose that Ichika can do it. That's... her view of things. Right?
And Tsubasa -- hopeless, pessimistic, glass-with-a-hole-in-it Tsubasa, who sees the worst in all the world and in themself most of all -- hears Ichika declare that they can be saved, that she will, and in the dark they whimper with a terribly embarrassing emotion. "Ichika -- y-you --
"You really will, won't you...? Like, fuck, you already did..."
Not only how they met, as they spoke of, but all those times she defended them from the Joker Killer before they came into their own power -- leave aside all the actions she's taken as the Thorn Boss to keep them safe.
"An'... that's okay? You don't think less a me? Fuck, I jus'... I ain't used to..."
(Because Tsubasa of course was never the delicate flower who ought to be protected to preserve their value; Tsubasa, left to fend for themself, always knew that no one was coming.)
Tears well in their eyes, as they bury themself tightly against her. "S-sorry," they mutter, a touch blubbery. "Jus'... y'know I'd kick a guy's teeth in for ya, but... means so much that... I can be weak around ya too."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Really really."
It does matter to Ichika, and she's glad to be able to say as much. But Tsubasa... hears it. And they react. They react, and Ichika hears it in their voice. All those times; for Ichika, they were what they were, but looking back... 'You already did' gives her more confidence. Not only does she say it and mean it; it's possible, too. She's sure of that.
"I don't think less of you," Ichika confirms. "...I know you're not used to it."
Ichika can't explain the difference, but she knows it is different, and Ichika knows it because of how tightly Tsubasa buries themself against her, too.
"...You can," Ichika says. "Besides..."
"I like it when a guy shows me a soft side," she says, a little more shyly. "...Anyway I mean, it's fine."
"...It's okay."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
It's possible... and even Tsubasa can believe it, though it's a more fragile thing, for them. How could they not, though? As they've realised, she's done it before.
And she can feel them relaxing against her, when she assures them she doesn't think any less of them. "Cool..."
They wonder, for a moment, if she can feel their cheeks colouring, when she offers that shy aside. (Or the way they smile, hearing that.) "I jus'... feel like I can trust you with that, too." Even if trust evidently doesn't come easily to them, with how much reassurance they're seeking. Is it okay? Is it really okay?
... it is okay.
"I believe you," Tsubasa murmurs. "I'm jus' gonna... believe in you."
Their voice slows, a little, as they nestle in against her. "Guess there was jus' a lotta shit locked up in my head... s'funny how much I talk when it's to you, huh? But... thanks for listenin' to all that shit, Ichika. Really... really helps to jus'... say it insteada sittin' on it, I guess... man, I'm real lucky you're here."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika smiles, eyes still closed. She isn't quite ready to go to sleep, anymore, but...
As it happens, she can't feel it or see the flush, in the moment. But, "...Yeah," she says. "I'm glad." Trust...
Believe in her, huh? That's a responsibility, all right. But it's one Ichika finds she doesn't mind too much.
"I think it's good," Ichika says. "You have to talk sometime. It helps to say it, right?"
They said so.
"...You're welcome."
"I'm glad you're here."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Perhaps something like belief is the weight of really mattering.
"Right," Tsubasa murmurs, in reply. Their fingers smooth at Ichika's hair, where it's pooled by her shoulder.
"I'm glad I'm here with ya... glad you're here with me. Jus'... stay with me a while..."
Maybe Tsubasa is too strung out to sleep, but they can feel comforted being held, having someone really care.
They've wrung all their words out of their scarred lungs, but their feelings remain.
... they're safe with Ichika, even if they're always having to look over their shoulder out there in the cold, harsh world.