2026-01-06: Counsellor Paranoia
- Log: Counselor Paranoia
- Cast: Tsubasa Seki, Julian Marlowe
- Where: Kasugayama - Julian's Office
- OOC Date: 2026-01-06
- IC Date: Thu Sep 06 2012
- Summary: Tsubasa goes to visit Julian for their appointment... despite their rising suspicions that he really is brainwashing students. (For some reason, they suspect his phone...?) Julian manages to put their concerns at ease enough for them to talk, though, and they talk with him about the aftermath of Eiji's Palace... and of their parents' continuing effects on them. But they have plans for the future in their transition and a job they'd like to do... and is helping them reflect on that a win for Julian? Can he possibly get the wins he needs with a student body as wounded as this...?
- Content warning: References to Eiji's Palace (human trafficking/abuse), child abuse
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Uh... got an appointment with that counselor he booked in 'fore school broke, but I might jus' give it a miss, man. Like, th' shit they been sayin', I figured it out, man... it's the radio waves from his phone, they get amplified in that tiny space, that's how he does it..."
But the Boss informed them that that's not even how phones work, and anyway, they can't go disrespecting his time ghosting him when they had an appointment, all those rumours are just stupid shit.
Tsubasa, who hates being disrespectful above anything else, thus opens the door to Julian's office, and...
"Hey man you mind turnin' ya fuckin' phone off."
... well, mostly getting over it. Kind of. Not really?
The point is, they end up crammed in his office like a sardine, talking about -- everything. About Eiji, presently; they've already covered the way their mother tried to have them killed via the Joker Killer, how they had to leave their shitty shoebox apartment because they didn't feel safe in a space their father controlled.
(This isn't something supported by the school's files, which still list Tsubasa as living in an address now twice outdated.)
"... so anyway, he did, uh, almost get me at one point. Like... tryin' to break me down, man. But th' Boss grabbed me 'fore I lost me face," and maybe they're talking about 'losing face', here... or maybe they're a little disconnected from reality, as he's gotten a few hints at through their diatribes.
(Or maybe -- maybe -- they know, somehow, about those women with flowers where their faces ought to be. But how would a normal person get pulled into a Palace...?)
"It been real, like... like, son of a bastard sent these dirty pictures to me, like, shit Ichika took, I went straight troppo, man... an' he even warned me, like, he had this buyer all lined up fer me, an' I oughta stop, ruinin' her... burned th' letter an' th' photos an' everythin', weren't even thinkin' straight, so that's why I ran right into his shit... like, it was stupid. I don't fuckin' think, man."
They heave a deep sigh, arms firmly folded across their chest. "... anyway, glad he ate shit, but... it's suspicious, man. They sayin' he went down fer traffickin' Ainu, but... weren't he workin' here?" They click their tongue to their teeth, sceptically. "Tch... ain't somethin' I can pull up, tho'. Ain't gon' do Ichika like that. I jus'... don't trust it, man."
Tsubasa doesn't trust a whole lot right now, apparently.
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
Lucky for Julian that Ichika will still vouch for him, in spite of the rumors. That's only been affirmed during their session the day before, where it came up in... a more direct way than he would liked. After, he scheduled an appointment with Kotoha Shiranui in hopes that it would stop her from randomly bursting into his office during his other appointments. He judges the odds of that actually working to be 50-50 at best.
He can only hope that she at least won't pick the time set aside for Tsubasa Seki to do that again. They're jumpy enough as it is, and he has a feeling that the rumors may not need any reinforcing where they're concerned. He couldn't deny being a little surprised not to find their name among the cancellations that did happen. Pleasantly so, of course.
He's just in the middle of a cup of tea when said appointment bursts in through the door, which... doesn't startle Julian at all. Blame Kotaha for him being so used to that happening lately. That 'greeting' does visible surprise him, eyes widening slightly as he sets his cup down on its saucer.
"...I'm sorry? I do not make recordings of any conversations within my office, if that is what worries you, Tsubasa-san."
That one was so out there, he didn't even understand it had anything to do with the rumors. Still, he has no issue complying with that request, taking his smartphone out of his jacket pocket, keeping the power button pressed for long enough that it shuts itself off, then placing it face-up on the table before him. He demonstrates its non-responsiveness with a few taps on the screen.
"...Alright?" He lifts his hands as if he were showing he's unarmed. That's kind of the vibes he's getting of what is expected of him here. Far be it from him to make anyone feel less comfortable than they already are.
As always, he is patient to a fault, and would always take the word of a student above whatever school records claim. He doesn't interrupt, but he doesn't hide his surprise and concern at the subject of Eiji coming up, with Tsubasa as well.
Especially with the way it does. He immediately assumes that Tsubasa ended up in the Palace, because... they wouldn't be the only normal person that ended up pulled in there, due to that blasted car rumor. He knows that much for a fact.
But he can't actually say that. He can only continue to be a listening ear, with an occasional supportive word to encourage Tsubasa to get it all out. Only once they fall silent at the end does he nod, letting out a breath as he leans back a bit.
"You've been through quite an ordeal indeed. It's only natural that you'd feel that way. It is a relief to know that Eiji Kamiya's... activities have come to end, but experiences such as that do not simply cease to have an effect. Nor should they, it's upsetting enough to know that such things happened to begin with, let alone having had to actually go through all that. Absolutely take your time to process those events, as long as you need."
It's part of his job to remain calm, but he's a lot more upset than he looks. The fallout of everything that young man did is simply unimaginable.
Adjusting his monocle, he proceeds to rest his hands on the table. "I hope that getting it all of your chest has helped somewhat. All in all, what I'm left with to wonder about is the most important matter of all." His hands fold together. "I understand that, in spite of the circumstances which conspire against you, there are many who support you. And you've also become quite adept at recognizing your own strengths and weaknesses. That being the case... do you feel capable of moving ahead with your life? Or do any of the obstacles you face still feel insurmountable?"
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Ain't that," Tsubasa grunted, when Julian insisted he didn't take recordings. Though now he mentions it...
They're satisfied enough with the phone being clearly off, though.
... even if they're not quite willing to tell him just why they're worried about it, immediately.
Still, they eventually get to telling him things. Terrible things! And when Julian sums it up, they sigh, a foot propped up on the edge of the table. "It jus'... ain't jus' him," they scowl, looking down at their sneaker. (High-tops, with a bunch of patches sewn on; standard gang attire.) "He was -- in on it. There, like... a tonne a other shit goin' on 'round 'im."
They take a breath, and let it out. "... Ichika took me out ta th' woods, end a Summer. Wanted to clear our heads out... hey, did you know horses are fuckin' terrifyin'? Full on, man. Uh, nature's cool, tho', I guess."
Tsubasa shakes their head, still scowling; though that's their normal face, so perhaps it's not so dire. "... me mom sent me a birthday gift," they share, after a long pause. "Yukata wit' these flowers... they what she named me after originally." Whether or not Julian knows that Japanese Camellias are called 'Tsubaki' in Japanese, it's probably parseable from context. "She convinced me father not to give up on me, I guess... they wanna make up. Hrn... ain't like part a me's thought 'bout it," they admit, a touch uncomfortably.
"... but they want me to be someone I'm not. An' I jus'... don't feel safe 'round 'em. Like... they said they got me classed as fuckin' disabled jus' so they'd still have all their parent rights now I'm eighteen... what the fuck, man?" Tsubasa's frown deepens. "They knew I was stayin' at an old safehouse, had th' police watchin' it... so we hauled me shit out middle a th' night, stayin' wit' Shuyo-kun now. Uh, ain't on a couch or nothin', he had a spare room ever since Yoshitsu-kun moved back t' th' country..."
Tsubasa's chest lifts in another sigh. "Like... even now I might be scorin' hormones, like... I dunno how I get out from under me father. Like, I got a plan, like? Now I'm with Ichika," they've mentioned that, too, "gon' try keep me record clean a couple years, get me detective's licence an' shit... but bein' embarrassin' might dust me way before I get there. An' like, me friends have offered to help an' shit, but... like... I can't fight that guy, man," they insist, their voice lowering. "He got friends in th' police... connections, like..."
They're talking about a conspiracy, of course.
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
There's another thing that Julian would prefer not to think about to a great degree. How Eiji's activities are really just a drop in an ocean, and such things continue to happen somewhere in the world, every hour of every day. It's enough to make one lose faith in humanity. He can't go down that road. Not again.
So that's not what that brief frown was about. That was about feet not remaining on the ground. What did that furniture ever do to you, Tsubasa? Not that Julian actually says anything about it. He couldn't argue that it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
He finally has something to smile about, when Tsubasa speaks of the outing with Ichika. Ichika, who was of course deeply involved with all that herself, he's well aware. To take some time away from it all can do much good, especially when among good company.
He can't keep a chuckle to himself, at Tsubasa's horse worries. "Horses, you say? That's an interesting coincidence. Would you believe I know the feeling? I used to be quite frightened of horses myself. I remember when my sister--"
Julian freezes dead in his tracks, breath caught in his throat. Tsubasa might think there's a ghost right behind them, the way he's suddenly staring straight ahead, as if spooked out of his wits.
And then it passes, Julian abruptly feeling around his breast pocket for a handkerchief, and using it to dab the sweat on his brow. "...Sorry. Didn't mean to get us off track, there. Please, continue."
He proceeds to act like nothing happened, waving off any concern with 'it's nothing'. He'd be a laughing stock of a counselor if he let the roles get reversed here. He's supposed to be there to support others.
...But who counsels the counselor? He wishes his thoughts didn't keep staying to things like that as of late.
Besides, what's on his mind isn't nearly as serious as what Tsubasa tells him about. Their parents... no matter the circumstances, it's very difficult to even consider advising anyone to be wary of their own family. He may know a thing or two about that as well. And about the unreliability of the police. ...And about conspiracies.
"You don't need to think of everything in terms of a fight that needs to be won, Tsubasa-san," he yet advises. "Even if it's others who seem to be trying to make it one. As much as it may feel like you're not control, always remember that you're not facing any of this alone. You have Kawase-san by your side, and many others besides. I'm certain they will help you in continuing to follow any path you choose, in whatever way they're able, no matter who might get in the way."
He calmly pours himself another cup of tea, leaving it up to Tsubasa whether or not they want to partake. In the tea, or his famous Good Scones(tm). "...I will continue to support you as well, in what limited capacity I can. Or..." His eyes flick up to meet Tsubasa's. "By going the extra mile, should that be of help to you." He may not have connections as such, but... he did hint before that he knows a thing or two about dealing with the police.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
Julian really needs a win... but instead, he's got one of the kids with the most complicated sad fates in school. That doesn't mean Tsubasa is heartless, though, as much as they'd claim to be. To wit --
"Eh... you cool, dude?" Tsubasa blinks, leaning forward a little -- that knee bending, against the table -- when all the blood drains out of Julian's face. "You -- uh -- need some water, or..."
But Julian insists it's nothing, and Tsubasa sinks back down into their seat, feeling even more deeply unnerved than the topic matter ought to make them. ... was he receiving some kind of message they couldn't hear? They glance to either side of themself, suspiciously, but they can't see anything...
That doesn't mean there's nothing there.
"... 'course it's a fight, man," they mutter, arms still tightly folded. "There's winners an' losers in every damn thing... an' someone gettin' somethin' outta it. An' shit, man... like... I'm real worried 'bout Ichika," they admit, teeth grit together. "What if somethin' happens to her 'cuz I oughta be fallin' in line with Satan? If somethin' happens to me, she'll for sure show up to save me... but what if I really am jus' draggin' her to Hell, man?"
If they knew how worried Tsubasa was about their girlfriend...
Well, it's lucky they don't know.
They stare at the tea, and they're suspicious about that, too. But, "eh, sure," they grunt, after that nervewracking moment.
Does getting them to accept a cup of tea count as a win...? It's Tsubasa, so it just might. It's always kind of a question whether they're just going to up and bolt, even now they're making more of an effort to stick around.
"I did tell Officer Shimizu," Tsubasa sighs. "But... I'm freaked out 'bout them insistin' I'm disabled, man. Like, I looked it up... I guess that shit means they got extra powers 'til I'm twenty." Normally, the period between eighteen and twenty is kind of ambiguous, legally; not a child, but not yet an adult, it's not difficult to imagine someone of Tsubasa's age managing to make it on their own if their parents aren't treating them properly. "I can make it on my own, man. I'm fine where I am. I jus' want 'em to leave me alone..."
They sound a touch wretched, admitting that, though at least their hands have to curl around their cup instead of around their torso now.
"Jus'... ain't gon' tell me doctor what they did," they insist, scowling down at their cup. "Don't wanna make her have to break confidentiality or whatever... she's already skirtin' th' law settin' me up with hormones an' shit. But they say I'm crazy, man, they ain't never gon' sign off on that shit... not even when I turn twenty. An' me father would flip... mom, too... like hell I'm lettin' 'em take this away from me, tho', man!" Tsubasa shakes their head, vigorously. (Today's wig: magenta and green! They're colourful as a bird!!) "You know how much better me life would be if me body were less fucked, man? Like -- like yeah, still gotta deal wit' th' scarrin', but -- but if I weren't lookin' like a girl -- fuck, man!"
Tsubasa angrily sips their tea. How do they manage to be so pissed off drinking tea?!
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
Water?? Perish the thought, Julian needs tea, obviously. That's all. Just a spot of tea and he'll be right as rain. Or being able to act as such at least. It's not as if he doesn't have any idea why memories are plaguing him so much of late. He might actually be seeing ghosts, in a way. Not a good start, so soon after a vacation.
But that's for him to deal with, in private. He's more in his element when worrying for others. Not those he is as close to as Tsubasa and Ichika are to one another, but there are quite a number of them. Many of which going to this school.
"You do not 'ought' to do anything, Tsubasa-san," he insists. "Besides, would you want to prescribe to Ichika Kawase what she can and cannot choose to do? I daresay those who tried to stop her would be the ones in the greater amount of trouble." That might have been an attempt at levity, but it wasn't intended as such. That's just the facts. He also knows that it's often easier to have faith in others, when you're low on faith in yourself.
Really though, tea is magical. It's Hibiscus this week. Julian could talk anyone's ear off in regards to tea's virtues, though he picked it completely ignorant of the symbolism involved. The sign of a kind, gentle host welcoming visitors... or the quickly fading fragility of life. Seems there's always a positive and negative way to look at things. It's obvious what Julian would prefer.
But that name Tsubase mentions, and its police association... it triggers some poor comparisons in his mind, having recently had an earful of the way a certain Shimazu thinks. A small difference in names, hopefully a larger difference in attitudes. He'd have to assume that much, given Tsubasa's high opinion in spite of the general police concerns.
"...I'm glad, at least, that you're receiving some assistance from well-meaning adults, as well." Other well-meaning adults Julian, stop not counting yourself among people. "Allies in the police force, and in medicine, as well. Under the circumstances, you really are doing remarkably well for yourself already. I'm not arguing that it couldn't be a lot better still, but you're on the right path."
Not a word that some of it might involve skirting the law. Really, if there is a 'win' for him here, he would consider it the trust put on display by freely admitting that, in good faith that he isn't a 'narc', to use a word he probably never would.
He raises his cup of tea, as if toasting. "I would be lying if I claimed I could understand every part of your situation. But I do understand the frustration, not being able to fight everything directly. However, there is light at the end of every tunnel, as they say. Much can change in little time. And I believe you're quite capable of seizing opportunities when they present themselves." He takes a brief sip, before concluding, "Even if the light is difficult to see right now... you will come out of this the winner, Tsubasa-san. I truly believe that. Your strong convictions, backed by so many who wish to see them pay off... they will see you through."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah... she's really somethin'," Tsubasa even smiles, for a moment, there. Apparently it's easier to believe in her.
... they're not really big on flowers, though, personally speaking.
Tsubasa's never had the (dis)pleasure of meeting Captain Shimazu, but they'd definitely clarify if they knew someone like that was out there.
"Uh... guess it's cool you're here, too," Tsubasa points out, a touch awkwardly, when Julian talks about their adult allies. "You... sure you ain't brainwashin' no one? Uh, might be ya don't know... it's th' radio waves in ya phone, man. Reckon they're usin' ya to get at us..."
Is -- is that good faith? Does that count as good faith? Is Tsubasa... okay???
(Tsubasa's never been okay in their life.)
They... do not toast, though. Their arms are kind of frozen curled in front of their chest. They're someone who locks up under stress; it's the 'freeze' reaction, a deeper response to trauma than the basic fight or flight. (Though they've certainly displayed both of those, in their way, too...) "I always said that light were jus' th' oncomin' train, heh..." And they force the air out of their lungs in something like a chuckle, but it's not really a joke.
Tsubasa's one of those pessimists who say they're just being realistic, huh?
"But... I do got friends," they say, looking down at their tea. "Lot more friends, now. An'... even people I never fuckin' knew got in on makin' sure people knew that fuckin' Eiji were an ass." Which is one way to describe beating up his Shadow, certainly. "It was weird, like... ain't th' kinda guy thinks 'bout people supportin' me normal, let 'lone when I don't even know 'em. But... it weren't bad. Wish I could thank 'em, but... well, y'know."
It sure would be weird if one of those people were right here, but of course that's impossible. Julian is just a helpful adult!
"Anyway... even if shit sucks, I ain't gon' stop tryin'. Like... I really want a future like that. Maybe even bring down shitheels like me father," they grumble, darkly, and an angel gets its wings specifically because Tsubasa said a mean thing about their dad. "Guess I couldn't be doin' shit like that if guys like you weren't never believin' in me, tho', so... that's cool."
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
Julian smiles too, when Tsubasa does. That's it, if they can hold onto that feeling, he's positive everything will work out fine. Yes, that's being an optimist and oversimplifying the matter. But sometimes that's exactly what one needs to do. Of course, soon after...
"...Uh?" He was ready for brainwashing accusations. Not so much... phone radio waves. When he recovers from that brief surprise, he resolutely shakes his head. He tries his best never to outright invalidate what anyone says to him during a session, though he must insist on this much. "Tsubasa-san, I assure you, no one has manipulated my phone. I purchased it in London, and I've never let it out of my sight since I arrived here." Well, the phone on the table right now, the one that everyone else sees, not so much the other one.
Kind of overshadowed the whole fact that they said it was cool he's here. He heard it, but he won't process that until later. At least that's something to feel good about.
He did see that 'oncoming train' perspective a mile away, of course. But what if YOU were the train, heading towards a brighter place at breakneck speed?! ...No, that's silly, he can't say that with a straight face. What he will say...
"That's a little like my profession, wouldn't you say? To be of support, despite not being known very well by those I offer it to. I couldn't say for sure what the motivation of others is, but to me... you might consider it a calling."
He's not embarrassed to say that with a straight face. That's just the truth.
"My point is, you may not be able to entirely predict people, and they may occasionally throw you a curve ball... yet, that too can be with the best intentions." He chuckles. "You may in fact have it easier than most. You have already been able to see exactly who your friends are, but virtue of who stood by you when you needed them most."
He would have been embarrassed to say that, if he was counting himself to be among them. But the simple words 'I am your friend' are not easy for him to say. A Helpful Adult, yes... that sounds like the proper amount of distance he should stay at, where it comes to... everybody.
"Well. I'm most pleased to hear that," is the most he'll say to the show of appreciation, with a modest smile. "Give it your best, then. And if ever you find yourself in doubt and need a listening ear, that's what I'm here for."
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"... then why they sayin' you controllin' everyone?" Tsubasa frowns. "Like, I figured it out..."
They figured out NOTHING because it's a BASELESS RUMOUR which they're pretty sure has to have some truth to it because... they felt suspicious and so there must be some reason for that???
But the same analytical brain which can cope remarkably well with homework, as Julian's seen, can also eat itself if there's something unexplained...
Still, he insists that he's also helping people he doesn't know, and Tsubasa shrugs a shoulder. "Checks out." As suspicious as they are, they can't exactly argue that Julian hasn't always been trying to help.
"Easier, huh," Tsubasa grunts, into their teacup. "That shit 'bout holdin' someone up over a volcano, I guess... yeah, guess so. Shuyo-kun put me up th' minute he heard me mom was pullin' more shit... shit like that."
Being fair: it's kind of weird for an adult to be their friend. Like, yeah, they can say it, but it's kind of like -- that's totally not an even playing field?!
(Tsubasa would be surprised if they knew Julian had that same kind of distance between him and his coworkers, though.)
"Cool," they surmise, with a stern nod. "Wasn't... too sure I oughta show, but... th' Boss said I'd be disrespectin' ya, an' I ain't about that." They pause, looking from their teacup to the scones. "... guess you ain't changed none since last time. You, uh... need me to tell Shiranui-san to back th' fuck off?"
Translation: they're asking if they should go kick her ass.
<Pose Tracker> Julian Marlowe has posed.
"That... is an unfortunate misunderstanding."
And it's equally unfortunate that Julian can't think of a good way to set the record straight. It's complicated! ...And with Tsubasa, it feels particularly easy to get mistakenly misconstrued, if he doesn't chose his phrasing very carefully here. Fortunately, there's an alternative.
"I spoke to Kawase-san about this as well. She could probably explain it better than I can, I barely understand what's been happening myself."
More like, they could probably explain it equally well, it's just that if it's Ichika saying it, Tsubasa will be more likely to be convinced. He wouldn't be much of a psychologist if he wasn't able to analyze that much.
...Honestly though, he would find it wonderful if he could be heralded as Julian Marlowe, Friend To All Children. But there are many reasons for that not being in the cards. Thankfully not all are as perceptive as his 'lackey', Tomoyo Harayama, who once told him he looks sad when he smiles. He's redoubled his efforts to actively ensure his smile reaches his eyes ever since. And yet...
"I am the same as ever," he says with that smile. "You should of course do what's best for you, but I do appreciate your candor, and the confidence you place in me by speaking to me like this."
His mouth falls open a little, when Shiranui's name is dropped. When he recovers, he can only say, "...Thank you for the offer, but I'd rather you didn't. I think that she, too, is only doing what she believes best for her at this time." Whatever that's supposed to mean. He ended up telling Ichika the details, but that's the only exception he intends to make, given the circumstances. However...
"I won't discourage you from speaking to her, though. She may or may not wish to give you her reasons, but, regardless... you might find that you have certain things in common." Like the whole 'bad experience with Eiji's Palace' thing. The way Tsubasa described that sounded similar to Kotoha's muddled memory of the events, leading him to suspect the had the same experience. And while that may not exactly be the case... something tells him those two could get along, all the same.
<Pose Tracker> Tsubasa Seki has posed.
"Yeah... guess I'll ask th' Boss," Tsubasa shrugs. It's definitely true that Tsubasa trusts Ichika a lot more...
Julian says he's the same as ever, though, and Tsubasa supposes that must be true: he's still smiling like he always does. (He's always smiled like that, right?) He appreciates their candor... and Tsubasa actually does snrk, with the flash of a knife-sharp grin, hearing that. "You glad I'm talkin' shit," they rephrase, with an edge of humour to it.
"Tch... pain in the ass," Tsubasa grumbles, when Julian says Shiranui's just doing what she believes best for her. "Can't promise I won't still kick her ass, but I won't do it for your sake, sure."
... they're not exactly the kind of guy who's open to new experiences, huh? If they knew that she'd also experienced something like that flower being forced into her jaw, taking root in her mouth, through her tongue, over her eyes...
But they don't think of that. They're thinking adverserially; it's something Julian's always been able to note, about them.
The bell rings for next period, and Tsubasa shifts forward, putting their cup back on the table (and their foot back on the floor). "Anyway... that's me, sensei. Same ol' fuckin' shit. Still gettin' by. So I'll see ya when I see ya... or make another appointment or whatever, I guess."
There's at least one victory to be had from this: Tsubasa lasted an entire appointment without bolting from the room once.