2026-01-08: It All Means So Much
- Cutscene: It All Means So Much
- Cast: Ren Amamiya, Takuto Maruki
- Where: Shujin Academy - Practice Building
- OOC Date: January 08, 2026
- IC Date: Friday, September 07, 2012
- Summary: The summer was a lot. After talking a little about it with Yusuke, Ren decides to drop by the nurse's office to talk next to Dr. Maruki, and finds they've been holding more back emotionally than they realized. There's a big difference between talking things out with your peers and talking things out with a professional...
"Amamiya-kun! Great to see you again," Dr. Maruki enthuses, looking up from his desk as Ren opens the nurse's office door and walks in. "It feels like it's been ages--how was your summer?"
"It was good," Ren replies, shutting the door behind them with a smile. A more accurate answer is it's complicated, but even talking to a literal therapist, the knee-jerk instinct to dismiss their own feelings is powerful. Besides, it /was/ good when you brush aside the parts that weren't. "How was yours?"
"Ahaha... Unproductive, I'm afraid," Dr. Maruki admits. He rolls his chair around, then stands up and stretches. "I've been trying to make progress on my thesis, but I mostly just ended up doing a bunch of editing..."
Ren glances at his desk, where messy stacks of documents tilt around an open laptop. He's been working hard on that. Given that he's not a teacher, just a temporary guidance counselor, it makes sense; what else is he going to do? Wait around for students to drop by for a session? ...Actually, that's literally what he's doing, isn't it. Talking to Yusuke yesterday helped, but they know they held back with him too, and that's what made them decide to come here. It's kind of weird to realize that Dr. Maruki's here for exactly this scenario.
/It's almost like he's a professional therapist or something,/ they think wryly.
"Though there was some shocking news on just a couple weeks or so ago," he's saying as he shuts said laptop. "Do you mind if we discuss it a bit?"
They can guess what Dr. Maruki's talking about. They nod to indicate, yes, they're okay with it. The doctor crosses the room and joins Ren at the couches with a smile. He offers them a basket of sweet and salty treats from the coffee table that divides them, and Ren takes one--a packet of two frosted rice crackers, crisp and mildly sweet. They each sit perpendicular to the other.
"The Phantom Thieves are a popular topic with kids these days, so I imagine you already know about that high schooler whose heart was allegedly changed by them. Eiji Kamiya-kun, from over in Tatsumi Port Island," Dr. Maruki continues, to which Ren nods. "It's not that far away, but after all their previous targets were here in Tokyo, I was startled to see them send a calling card to someone outside the immediate area."
"It sounded like he was a real piece of work, though," they reply neutrally.
"Yeah... It's appalling to think a high school student could be involved in human trafficking." Dr. Maruki leans his elbows on his knees, his soft brown eyes welling up with concern as he leans forward a bit. "But what do you think about it, Amamiya-kun? The abuses he confessed to aren't that far removed from what Kamoshida-san did..."
"They aren't," Ren admits, lowering the half-eaten cracker. So that's his angle. He's not wrong, though. "But it's fine. The Phantom Thieves made him see justice. He and his dad won't be hurting anyone else anymore."
"His dad?"
Ren hesitates a split-second, then nods. "Yeah. At least, I read in the news that his dad was enabling a lot of what he was doing. Who knows what else he did himself."
"That makes sense. That's the only way someone that young could be committing crimes on that level," Dr. Maruki muses. "It makes you wonder if maybe Kamiya-kun is a victim of his father's too... Do you think the Phantom Thieves should have targeted Kamiya-san instead?"
They shake their head. "His crimes are his own. Don't get me wrong--his dad's hands aren't clean--but it was Eiji Kamiya's own choice to abuse his partners and worse. You don't have to be a legal adult to know the difference between right and wrong."
"That's a good point. It's the responsibility of us adults to teach children that distinction, but much as our society would like to pretend that 'child' and 'adult' are a binary switch that flips the instant one turns twenty, adolescence and even one's early twenties are really one giant blur between the two. It would be unreasonable to expect a child to take on adult responsibilities if they haven't been practicing and internalizing them well before reaching legal adulthood."
"Exactly." And normally Ren would leave it at that, but the not-good parts of their summer make them add, "I hate the idea that kids don't have any choice but to be a carbon copy of their parents. If your dad or your mom suck, it's hard to escape that, but it's not impossible. You shouldn't have to be ruled by them."
Dr. Maruki gives them a thoughtful look. "Is that what your relationship with your own parents is like?"
They flinch. Did they forget they were talking to a therapist? But they soon rally emotionally. (Because obviously the point of coming to a therapist is to /not/ talk about their feelings.) "We don't have much of a relationship," they say, tone clipped.
"Why is that?"
For a moment, this question puts Ren at a loss. They try to brush it off with a shrug.
"Sorry... You don't have to share if you don't want to, of course. It's just..." Dr. Maruki grimaces a little, looking abashed. "I'm a bit familiar with your background--due to your circumstances, the school informed me of some of the, er, salient points. One thing that stood out to me is how your father arranged for you to attend Shujin Academy in the first place after you... left your old school."
Ren grips their knees and does not meet his eyes.
"Superficially," he continues, "that would seem to be the act of a caring parent, but... the way you talk about him implies to me there's another side of the story."
"...He just wants to protect his own reputation. He doesn't care about me at all," Ren mutters. After opening up to Akechi and later Yusuke about their parents recently, it's somehow easier to talk about the topic to another sympathetic face. Another face that actually seems to see them for who they really are. Funny, that.
Case in point: Dr. Maruki watches them with soft, compassionate eyes. "Mhm?"
So they continue, "He and Mom just want to brush it all under the rug. I'm not making that up. That's something Mom explicitly said right before I left Inaba--if I just spend enough time away, everyone will forget what happened and move on and it'll be like it never happened. They want to pretend I'll magically transform into the obedient, diligent son they always wanted if I just spend enough time out of their sight. But I won't. I'm me. I won't stop being me, ever, no matter how disappointing they find that."
"So you feel like they're disappointed in you?"
"I /know/ they are. That's something else they explicitly said. We had a big argument about it after I was... I was arrested." They look away. "They wanted me to apologize and beg for mercy from the guy who accused me of assault--even though all I did was get in between him and a woman /he/ was trying to assault. I told my parents that, and they didn't care. They thought I shouldn't have gotten involved at all. That I should've looked a woman who was begging me for help in the eye and ignored her."
Dr. Maruki winces at that, sucking in a breath through his teeth.
Which is gratifying. Ren folds their arms tight over their chest anyway. "So yeah. /That's/ the kind of relationship we have. They'd wash their hands of me entirely, but they don't get to act like the put-upon noble parents betrayed by their failure of a son if they're in too much of a hurry to toss me in the garbage. They want me gone, and I'm content to have them gone too."
"You're covering up a lot of pain, aren't you, Amamiya-kun?" he murmurs, brown eyes likewise pained with compassion.
Ren shrugs a little. "It's always been like that. This is just a spike."
"I see... Have you been in touch with either of your parents since you moved out here?"
That one makes them hesitate. That hesitation turns into an unresponsive silence.
"Because... if I may say so, for a moment there, it felt awfully... raw, for something that happened months and months ago," he continues delicately. "Did something happen recently to re-open the wound?"
He really is perceptive. That's a therapist for you, they suppose. It's uncomfortable yet gratifying to be seen. "...I called them recently. To ask them about something important to me. But it wasn't important to them, so they blew me off. It was the first time we'd spoken since April."
"Ouch..."
"It's true I was upset about it for a while. But I'm over it. It wouldn't have been a big deal at all if I hadn't been stressed about other stuff too."
"Oh? Like what?"
God. So many things. "It doesn't matter. It's over with now."
Dr. Maruki maintains a steady gaze and politely says nothing.
"It wasn't a big deal. It was stressful at the time, but it's resolved. It's fine, really," Ren insists. What would they even say? 'The Palace I had to run through with my friends to change Eiji Kamiya's heart was deeply disgusting'? 'I got the wrong idea about my weird situationship partner and we had to duel it out to clear the air'? 'The girl I just started dating was really busy for a few weeks and I didn't get to see her for a while'? ...Actually, that last one is pretty normal, so it might be okay to share... but the thing that had them the most background stressed out this past summer was...
"Uh huh. Well, I'm glad to hear that. If it's all right with you, though, would you mind filling me in on the cliff notes version? It's hard to follow when I don't know that much."
That seems reasonable, so Ren shrugs a bit again to reiterate it really isn't a big deal. "My guardian had a personal emergency and had to leave town for about a month." Except he didn't really leave town. He was around enough to leave notes for them--just not show his face. That sure sent some mixed messages. "I had to take care of myself until he came back. And I did fine. I just... didn't know if or when he was coming back, and... it made me worry about if I was going to still have somewhere to stay next month." The anxiety nightmares got real bad for a few nights.
"He didn't give you any updates?"
"No," Ren admits. "He'd send me the occasional message but not about what was going on."
"I see. That would be stressful. But you say it's resolved now?"
"Yeah, he's back now. Everything's back to normal."
"That's good to hear. So what was the emergency, if I may ask?"
Ren shrugs.
"...You don't know?"
"He wouldn't say." He implied it might happen again, even, Ren doesn't add. That's something they try not to think too much about. All they can do is keep part-timing and saving money. "But it's none of my business, I'm sure. And it kind of feels good to know he trusts me to be by myself for so long."
"I see. That is a good feeling. It's like you're being treated like an adult rather than a child."
They relax a little. "Yeah."
"...But at the same time, there's a cognitive mismatch where he doesn't seem to trust you with the truth of what was going on."
Ren says nothing.
"How does that make you feel, Amamiya-kun?" Dr. Maruki prompts gently.
"It... is tough," they admit with some difficulty. Ryuji had acted like he thought it was messed up, and he wasn't wrong either. But-- "But I get it. Sometimes there are things you can't tell others. Especially not a minor in your care."
"That's true. It's very mature of you to realize that."
Ren shrugs, but also holds back a little smile.
"It seems to me like you have a similar personality, even. You're the type of person who wants to take care of those around you, so you're slow to tell them when something's wrong so you won't worry them." Dr. Maruki gives them an encouraging smile. "That kind of concern for others is admirable."
They feel their cheeks heat, but in a good way. They duck their head and rub the back of their neck, but they stop holding back that little smile, too.
"At the same time, it must be incredibly stressful to not know what's going on or what might happen to you if things go wrong. You're still a minor; your ability to take care of yourself is limited." He leans forward, elbows on his knees. "If, god forbid, the worst did happen... do you have somewhere else to go?"
There it is. Their smile dies like a busted lightbulb filament. "...Temporarily. Yeah."
"I see." Dr. Maruki's own smile fades into concern. "Then... I hope I'm not overstepping with this offer, but if you ever end up in a situation where you've exhausted your options and you don't have anywhere else to go... you can always come to me."
Ren sits bolt upright. "What? R-really?"
He sits up too, smiling anew. "Yes, really. I live alone in a decent-sized apartment, so I've got plenty of space for a roommate. Oh, and if you're worried about if this is lip service, please don't--I'm completely serious." His smile drains. "I can't stand the idea that you might vanish from my life because something horrible happened that was totally out of your control. If there's anything I can do to make sure that never happens, I want to do it."
"I have a cat," Ren blurts out. (Well, a cat-shaped friend. Close enough.) "I won't leave him behind. Is that okay?"
"Of course. If he's important to you, he's important to me too."
They duck their head, a palpable relief rising in them like a hot air balloon. They know they can rely on their friends, and Sojiro's back now so it really is fine, but they hadn't realized how much tension was still lurking within them. Having a back-up plan that isn't just couch-surfing with those among their friends who have a couch to spare in the first place is a huge reassurance.
Watching him closely, Dr. Maruki asks, "So now that we have that established... how do you feel about your situation?"
Ren looks up. It kind of feels like he read their mind. They ease back in their seat. "...About the same. But a lot more secure," they admit. When Dr. Maruki nods them on, they even continue, "I still understand that my guardian has things he can't tell me, and I don't hold that against him." /I've got a lot I can't tell him either./ "But... before he came back, it kind of felt like... I was abandoned? Like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I had no idea when it might crumble under my feet? And... even after he showed up again, it still felt like that a little."
They rub the back of their neck, self-conscious. They hardly ever do this sort of thing where they sit down and /talk through their feelings/, and now they're on two days in a row of it. This is something they do for others, not something they claim for themself. Even that fight they had with Akechi in Mementos recently--as cathartic as that was--was more about screaming their head off to vent rather than opening a window for another to their inner life. But Dr. Maruki looks at them with such patience and understanding, like he actually cares about their feelings, and... he's an adult, and a professional therapist. It's okay to tell him, right? It wouldn't be a burden on him, right?
With that in mind, they go on, "I don't think he meant to make me feel like that. He wouldn't respond to any of my texts or calls or anything, but like I said, he'd leave me notes and stuff reminding me to take care of myself. My friends did what they could to support and reassure me too. But... I mean..." Their hand slides down their neck to drop to their thigh. "...with the relationship I have with my parents, I couldn't /not/ feel bad." They take a deep breath and slowly let it out; at the end of it, they give him a tiny smile. "But now it feels like I can breathe easier about it all. If something else happens, it won't be the end of the world."
He laughs a little. "It's like the difference between having a safety harness or not for a rock climber, huh?"
/No kidding,/ they think. "Yeah."
Dr. Maruki's eyes crinkle. "I'm glad."
And Ren's glad too, they realize. It's so good to have an adult they can actually trust and rely on again. Nothing against Sojiro, but they sure as hell could never say all of this to him. There's still the rest of lunch break left; they reach for the sweet-and-salty cracker they'd left half-eaten and munch on it before they let themself just talk--about their day, about their girlfriend, even about that annoying detective who nonetheless shared what he finds beautiful with them.
It all means so much.