2026-02-15: I Won't Run Away Again
- Log: I Won't Run Away Again
- Cast: Shinjiro Aragaki, Mitsuru Kirijo, Akihiko Sanada
- Where: Iwatodai Dormitory - Rooftop
- OOC Date: February 15, 2026
- IC Date: September 26, 2012
- Summary: With Mitsuru's help, Shinjiro finally tells Akihiko about his betrayal and his condition. A plan is set in motion to get back at Strega, and while the truth is difficult to swallow, the three refuse to give up, even if Shinjiro can't yet find it in him to have true hope for the future.
<Pose Tracker> Shinjiro Aragaki has posed.
Shinjiro knows it has to be done, talking to Akihiko, as much as he is scared to do it. He's been drafting the text since last night, when he was knocked unconscious by Niko's Theurgy and realized he can't waste any more time.
He's left a report on the situation in order to try and foster good will, which summarizes that the Joker Killer attacked a local gallery, kidnapped someone, and that Niko Kirisaki of Strega managed to defeat him and escape. Fuuka and Ririka had supported him, and most pressingly...
It would seem Strega has theurgy cartridges.
But that's not the important thing to Shinjiro right now. He's finally fired off the text Wednesday afternoon to the Senpai group chat.
>hey. we need to talk.
>meet me on the roof? it's important. i'd like you both there.
He knows Mitsuru will know what it's about, but he's not sure how Akihiko will take it.
When either of the two arrive, they'll find Shinjiro by the garden on the roof, checking on their crop as the sunlight shines through the clouds. He's already changed into his red coat. It's clearly busywork, distracting himself from what needs to be said imminently - his body is tense, and his hands are shaking lightly.
But when are they not?
"Hey," he'll say only once they've both arrived.
"Sorry for the short notice. There's... a lot that needs to be discussed."
<Pose Tracker> Mitsuru Kirijo has posed.
Mitsuru Kirijo knows what this is about. After all...
She explicitly offered to be here for Shinjiro for it.
It's why she's the first to arrive, beyond her usual penchant for precise punctuality: dressed in the black leathers of her riding jacket for the cooling days of fall, white neckerchief, denim pants, riding boots and all, she emerges slightly ahead of their agreed upon meeting time, the mild creak of hinges on the rooftop exit heralding her otherwise quiet arrival.
The air is cool. The autumn cloud coverage only allows those few piercing columns of sunlight to pierce through their veil as she looks upward toward the sky in silent thought.
"... Aragaki," she says upon Shinjiro's greeting. Her expression is... somber. It's a look that persists even upon Akihiko's arrival, hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket as she positions herself closer towards the gardens, dark red gaze fixated on some far away point that only shifts when the last of their founding trio arrives.
"... Akihiko."
There's a lot that needs to be discussed. Mitsuru closes her eyes, and lets out a heavier breath than she'd like.
"Yes," she says, around that warm exhale. "There is."
<Pose Tracker> Akihiko Sanada has posed.
Akihiko arrives soon after Mitsuru does. He's been left utterly in the dark on the actual topic of conversation,. But even the lughead can sense the tense atmosphere the moment he arrives on the rooftop.
"Shinji. Mitsuru." Akihiko says, as he raises a hand in greeting. He's still dressed in his school uniform, his red vest popping against his white dress shirt and black pants.
..."Sure thing. You're the one who called us here, Shinji. Where should we start?" He nods to his longtime friend and brother, as he crosses his arms underneath his chest. Top of the agenda should be the Strega attack, and they've already spoken a bit on how to handle that at least.
<Pose Tracker> Shinjiro Aragaki has posed.
Shinjiro has considered how best to approach the topic for a bit now. There's technically two interlapping topics, and he needs to hit both of them together, so it's easier to start with Strega and then get into *why* he was involved with Strega as the main portion.
As the two greet him, Shinjiro feels guilt. Mitsuru's had to hold a burden for him, and it eats him up. He's thankful she'll no longer need to keep a secret from one of her closest friends, but that doesn't excuse that he made her keep it at all, even if he refuses to let her take any blame.
And Akihiko... has no idea what's going to happen.
He glances to the door, make sure they're secure, before starting.
"I've told Kirijo this part of it, but... two years ago was the first time I met Strega."
An exhale, as he stands near the garden.
"They had something I felt I needed," he says with a gesture of a hand to indicate he'll get to that. "In return... they stopped asking solely for money after a bit. They wanted information, stuff I heard or saw. I gave it to them. It worked out for a bit."
A grimace. "And then Yamagishi went missing, with people asking me for information. I needed an Evoker and needed it fast. I had two options... and I took the worse one. Strega could supply me, but they wanted a favor over me. I accepted. The day before I was arrested in Sumaru, I was asked to cash in for what I needed. They wanted info on Persona Users. Names and abilities. I gave what I thought was already more or less public, some thoughts on cohesion, that kind of thing."
Another, more ragged exhale.
"But I still gave it to them. The next day, I was arrested. She bailed me out. I told her some... very important things, but not everything I should have told her."
He hangs his head. "I'm sorry, Aki."
Something still hangs in the air, even so. If only this could be the extent of the discussion.
<Pose Tracker> Mitsuru Kirijo has posed.
It's unfair.
The entire thing is unfair. How this all began is unfair.
But that is what life is, isn't it? The entire affair starts with a fundamentally unfair premise that must eventually be reckoned with.
It's thoughts like these that percolate in Mitsuru's mind as Akihiko arrives and Shinjiro begins to broach the reason why he asked to meet. He begins - unsurprisingly - with the obvious reason: the attack on the dormitories, and the part he played in it, intentionally or not.
Her brows furrow as he explains. They deepen as he maneuvers around details that she knows - they both know - will be questioned.
"..."
Tension. It still hangs heavy in the air as Mitsuru glances aside in the wake of Shinjiro's apology, freeing one hand from the warm prison of its pocket to push strands of royal red hair back over her shoulder. A frown settles on her lips for several long seconds of silence on her part.
"Akihiko and I have discussed ways to answer this attack," she finally speaks up, focusing for the moment on the one thing she can focus on: strategy. "I believe we've settled on something, that will require a smaller scale team and some covert work, and it's something we believe you should help with. We can... discuss the details in a moment."
After all...
... this is far from the most important thing they should be discussing, right now.
<Pose Tracker> Akihiko Sanada has posed.
Akihiko listens to Shinji's story. He really, really wishes he could just let bygones be bygones. He just can't find it in him.
"That was a damned, stupid thing you did, Shinji. You should've just gotten an Envoker from us." Though, he suspects Shinji already knows this. That Mitsuru has already spoken to him about it. That Shinji is beating himself up over it too.
"...We have so many kids here, Shinji. ...At least when Ken started staying here, you should've filled us in on the information you leaked." The attack could've been so much worse. If Strega has more information on SEES, that's so many people suddenly vulnerable.
It isn't over yet. Akihiko nods with Mitsuru. "We have a solid plan to deal with Strega. And if you can get us information too, that could go along way with regaining some trust."
A moment. They can talk more in a moment. "What else is there to talk about?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinjiro Aragaki has posed.
Shinjiro swallows, as Akihiko admonishes him. He honestly doesn't want bygones to be bygones. He really did fuck up. He winces as Ken is mentioned, because that hits like a knife to the chest.
They have a plan. A way to strike back. Shinjiro sighs, and nods. "Okay. I'll help, no matter what it is."
But, Mitsuru reminds him they have something else to talk about. He looks away for a moment, taking a long breath, before turning back to Mitsuru. This is hard. This is so damn hard. He's the one among them best with people and it's still the hardest thing in his life. Then, after a long moment, he turns to Akihiko.
"...two years ago, when... everything went down... I..."
He trails off for a second, before restabilizing.
"I got scared, after I lost control. After... someone died. I was afraid of myself. I looked for a solution, and I found one. A... drug to suppress my Persona, make it easier to control, supposedly."
A glance away. "I didn't want anyone else to get hurt, so I went to Strega, who could supply me with it. But I knew there were consequences. If you stop taking the pills, your Persona will kill you. And for as long as you take them, they tear at your body, causing organ failure and nerve damage and all sorts of nasty shit."
He hangs his head again. "But I... I wanted to be punished. I've been taking them for the last two years. It's why I hid myself in that alley. It's why I didn't want to come back, even when I had to make that choice. I don't have much time."
"Maybe a year, if we're lucky."
He doesn't say the words again, but it's in his face. He's apologetic, guilt and sorrow alike worn clear. He's learned in the past few months he made the absolute worst choices he could have... but he can't turn back the clock.
<Pose Tracker> Mitsuru Kirijo has posed.
Ken.
He was on the forefront of her mind when she heard that the dorms were targeted. He was a non-inconsequential part of why she was - and is - so angry. She wasn't comfortable with him being brought into the dorms for a number of reasons, but guilt was one of the greatest of them, and this? Their basic inability to keep this a safe place for the one person they have to protect?
That just hammers that guilt in all the harder.
Mitsuru doesn't belabor the point, though. After all...
That guilt is something all three of them share. And it's why they're here today.
And it, too, is why Mitsuru subtly redirects Shinjiro towards the actual reason why he asked them all to come here. When he looks her way, those dark red eyes slide out of their reverie and towards the tall Third Year. She doesn't say anything directly. But the nod she offers, and the look that accompanies it, say more than words ever could.
He can do this. She knows he can.
And she's here for him.
So he explains, finally, to the one who most deserved to know why he was in such a desperate situation. Why Mitsuru does not hammer Shinjiro for not taking an Evoker from the Kirijo Group becomes rapidly apparent the more Shinjiro explains -- it's a topic she has already argued with him about extensively, after all.
But I... I wanted to be punished.
"..."
And she has already been grappling with his answer for a long time, now.
It's clear just to look at her, at the mild grimace clenching her teeth and narrowing her eyes and balling her fists -- this is something she's been well aware of before this point. Her gaze tears away again as Shinjiro speaks, her fists trembling until she forces herself to hide them away in her pockets lest she expose more of the frustration and sadness eroding at her invaluable sense of control.
Maybe a year, if we're lucky.
"No," she suddenly says, before she even realizes she's saying it. "I've had our best doctors in the Group assigned to this. We've done what we can for the current symptoms, but if we keep pushing, I'm certain that we can... that they will be able to..."
Her words fall away into nothing.
<Pose Tracker> Akihiko Sanada has posed.
A wave of relief washes over Akishiko as Shinji agrees to help. He's glad, that it can be sorted out so easily. That they can unite against Strega.
But then, Shinjiro continues. These drugs... Were wreaking his body. All this time. Because he was afraid. Because he couldn't control his Persona. Because he wanted to be punished.
A year. One year. Just a single year.
"You're...joking, right?" Denial. This can't be happening. Aki looks over to Mitsuru who... insists that the Kirijo doctors can help.
Oh.
Oh. This is really happening.
Even Mitsuru isn't sure.
Oh. Oh god.
The despair coming over Akihiko is palpable.
"You can't... You can't give up yet, Shinji! The doctors will..."
"Why? Why are you stealing your life away?!"
<Pose Tracker> Shinjiro Aragaki has posed.
Shinjiro feels Mitsuru's support, and it helps. But it's Akihiko's reaction that gives him pause.
He doesn't respond to Mitsuru at first except to glance in her direction, pursing his lip. He can't tell her that her hope is misplaced. Her hope is the only thing that can give him any hope. His body aches, it hurts, he's having a flareup of pain as they speak, and he's just pushing through it like he always does because this is the most important thing to do right now.
"...mm."
A pause, before turning to look between them.
"...I didn't want either of you to get hurt if I lost control again," he admits, quieter. "I felt like a monster. Now, my body's rebelling, and..."
Akihiko's despair causes him to grit his teeth, but he doesn't turn his head.
He pauses. How do you reassure the friend you've hurt worse when you can't reassure yourself? The only thing he wants to do is help Akihiko here, but he feels like a little kid again, watching his home go up in flames, except this time, he's the one trapped in the fire, and he has to watch the person he cares about most in this world while the fire consumes him.
The first tears start to build as he's figuring out what to say.
"...I don't want to die, Aki. I don't want to leave. I don't... I don't know what to do. I'm trying to have hope, but I'm scared...!"
Shinjiro is not one who cries often. He does not express his fear often. To be at this point, to be resigned and afraid like this...
He's trying his best to be strong. But this is the moment Shinjiro has dreaded most for a long time, and all his strength is leaving him.
<Pose Tracker> Mitsuru Kirijo has posed.
They're joking. They must be joking.
When Akihiko looks her way, the truth is plain in the pain that lies behind her stare, behind that dogged refusal of hers to accept that this is Shinjiro's fate. She tries to insist that this is not the end; that they can find a way.
But... she's seen the medical reports. And...
Akihiko cries out as the realization hits. And Mitsuru grits her teeth, once again looking away. Arms wrapping around herself as she draws in even as Akihiko's shock rips through him and Shinjiro's terrified vulnerability rises to the surface, the student council president, with all her vaunted self-control, can only shut her eyes tight to keep those tears from stinging at the corner of her eyes and watering her gaze.
She can't cry right now. She can't.
She needs to be the one they can both lean on.
"... He... made a choice. He made a mistake. Just like we all did," she manages, eyes still shut. "But he shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes. We... none of us should."
She bites the inside of her cheek, fingers gripping all the more tightly at her elbows.
"We... we made a promise. The three of us. And I refuse to give up on it." Her eyes crack open as she looks Shinjiro's way.
"... On you."
<Pose Tracker> Akihiko Sanada has posed.
It's Miki all over again. What is he supposed to do? He can't be strong enough to conquer this. This is the one thing he can't beat with his fists or force of will.
Akihiko won't cry. He can't cry.
"We can beat this. We will beat this." It's just another disease. These things get cured. He's thankful, most of all. For Mitsuru's support and encouragement. "We've got time... Enough time to figure something out."
"I'll drag you to your appointments myself if need be!"
He's angry. Not at Mitsuru. Not at Shinji. He's just angry. "We'll figure something out, Shinji. I promise." Don't make a promise you can't keep.
<Pose Tracker> Shinjiro Aragaki has posed.
Mitsuru's words cause Shinjiro to stop, as she looks to him. He nods, a little shaky, as he takes a hand to his eyes, trying to staunch the tears that he feels he shouldn't be having. He's the one who hurt them. He shouldn't be feeling this way.
Even so, he doesn't know if he can fully agree with her words. He did make a choice. He should pay for his mistakes, shouldn't he? Amada, and this, and everything...
He's been trying to unlearn that. But it's hard.
But it's Akihiko's words, his determination and anger, that really gets to Shinjiro. He doesn't have hope like they do, but...
"...okay. ...I'm sorry."
He should rebuke Akihiko for that promise, in a way. But he wants to believe. He wants to believe in his brother, and his friend, and the people who refuse to give up on him, even if he *cannot* believe in himself.
He runs a hand through his hair, taking a breath. Focus, Shinjiro, focus.
"...we're going to stop Strega. We're going to end the Dark Hour. We're going to graduate. And then..."
And then what? What is he supposed to say here? As much as he tries, he stalls off, unable to really commit to having hope. He's trying, though, and maybe that's enough for right now.
<Pose Tracker> Mitsuru Kirijo has posed.
"... Aragaki..."
Akihiko's anger, and Shinjiro's apology - and his fear - force Mitsuru to open her eyes. Tears don't spill.
But in those rare few shards of sunlight that puncture through cloud coverage, that dark red stare glimmers with built up moisture.
She turns, then. As Shinjiro breathes. As he makes that mantra. As his words trail.
Why is this so hard for her? Why can't she ever just find the right words to say in these moments? It's times like this she wishes she was more like Yukari or Minako, able to just speak her mind -- or put on a brave smile no matter what the occasion.
But she can't. She is who she is. And that's all that she can be.
So, she acts in the only way she knows how, tentatively stepping forward and struggling with emotions that she can scarcely express as she unfolds one hand to reach out towards Shinjiro.
She hesitates, just at the boundary of his personal space. Her fingers hitch back, as if recoiling from the presumption...
"... ... it's... it is okay, to be scared."
... before finally settling on his shoulder.
The touch is a little stiff. A little awkward. But it is there, as she regathers her poise as best she can.
"You don't have to apologize for that. You just... have to fight." Her lips thin, as she tries to offer a truly weak joke. "And if you don't we will drag you to the fight ourselves."
Her voice is strained. She can't imagine how Akihiko is taking this, even seeing him fight his way through his own anger. So she just tries to keep putting forth that brave face, as best she can.
"We made a promise, all of us. We will see it through, and then we will enjoy a future free of the Dark Hour. We will."
Her eyes narrow. Her jaw sets. "We will. We believe in you. We will keep fighting for you."
No matter how hard it is.
"... We will... we will never give up on you. Right, Akihiko?"
<Pose Tracker> Akihiko Sanada has posed.
"We made a promise." Akihiko agrees. "I can't give up on you, Shinji. There's no more running away, you hear me?! We're facing this head on, all together!" It's the only thing Akihiko can do, really. Force this to be okay through sheer will.
Is it? Okay to be scared? He needs to be stronger. He needs to be stronger. He needs to be stronger.
"I'm scared too." Akihiko relents. He's still weak. "But... I can't lose you too, Shinji."
Mitsuru, as always, is the rock for all of them. "We won't." Akihiko agrees." "....We still have our whole lives ahead of us. I won't let you die before me, Shinji." It's an empty promise. But he has to believe it right now.
<Pose Tracker> Shinjiro Aragaki has posed.
Shinjiro may be trailing off, but as Mitsuru approaches, reaches out, makes contact, his eyes widen, but he doesn't push her away. No, he appreciates it in the moment.
He understands the message.
"...I'll fight. I'll do my damnedest to... make it through this. I won't make promises. But I want to live."
If he could send a single message to his past self, he would. But he can't. So this is the second best thing he can do.
He breathes, as Mitsuru tells him they believe in him, they'll fight for him, they won't give up on him. As Akihiko admits he's scared, and can't lose him.
He brushes his eyes one last time, before exhaling.
"...we've gotta make the most of this time, no matter how it shakes out. But I won't run away again."
"I promise you that."