2026-03-04: Miho Didn't Need Dinner That Night
- Log: Miho Didn't Need Dinner That Night
- Cast: Yua Ijuuin, Miho Ijuuin
- Where: Aoba - Penthouse
- OOC Date: 2026-03-04
- IC Date: Thursday, Oct 04 2012
- Summary: Miho goes on a date; Yua's left behind. Her jealousy and anxiety drives her to try and make the perfect home for Miho to return to, but it's not perfect while Yua's trying to pretend things are okay... so they end up talking about everything but Tomoki, as they face up to the murder they've been charged with and the fragility of reality around them. Miho assures Yua that she'll always come first, and Yua tries to eat a challenging meal so Miho won't have to worry...
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Miho... went on a date, last night. She warned Yua that she wouldn't need her to make dinner for her, so...
... well...
... Eiko makes something for her, eventually, and she does try to eat.
"I'm okay," she tells Eiko, when she dismisses her for the night.
"I'm okay," she assures Miho, when she tells her that she'll be staying at his house tonight.
And when Tiger comes into their room meowing in confusion over his human not being here, Yua picks him up on the bed, and hugs him, instead. "I'm okay," she tells him, even though the bed's too big for one increasingly-small woman and a massive cat.
When Kimitake rings her, the next morning, she's really very happy for him to come and visit! She has a lot of worries she can share with him, and she can even promise to help him more when she realises she's been letting him, down, and...
When he asks whether she's handling Miho staying overnight all right, with another man, she tells him, "I'm okay."
When one of the Sevens students she's teaching that day asks her why she looks sad, she insists: "I'm okay."
When she stumbles on her way out of their fancy Mercer-Benz because her mind's on something else entirely: "I'm okay."
She's okay. Her thoughts aren't getting away from her. She's not... wondering.
... she spends all day on a delectable lamb roast, though she needs to leave it in Eiko's stewardship when she goes to work. Tenderised to melt in the mouth, with mint sauce and green herbs and beautiful vegetables marinating in the juices of the meat... normally, it's the sort of thing she'd need a Sunday to pull off, but somehow she makes it work tonight. She cuts a half-dozen fresh roses from her bush to display in a fine jade vase; she brings out one of Miho's favourite wines.
And when Miho gets home from work, she's right there to chirp: "Welcome home!"
Though of course, she doesn't leap upon her. (Her arm; Yua's mindful of it.) She just hurries up to her, and hugs her good side, and tugs her down by the shoulder for a welcome-home kiss.
(She's not thinking about what else they've done.)
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho's sister isn't the only one who's been bothering her to spend time with Tomoki again. It was... nice, last time, but Miho's been busy, and seeing to Yua, and perhaps that's exactly why people are bothering her to see the man. She 'shouldn't neglect him'. It's been a while--since they took out a certain man who managed to shoot Miho. She'd spoken to him since, but they hadn't been out.
She didn't wear a dress; she went after work. And when she changed for going Out, she still wore her usual styles... and that didn't dissuade him.
She was with him all night, and into the morning, and had little chance for most of that night to tend to her phone.
Miho's feelings are... complex. But she did make time around their usual bedtime to text with Yua, at least.
And now...
Miho hears the chirp, and smiles. She's in another clean work suit. No tie, as usual; fitted like a woman's, as usual. "I'm home," Miho says her part of the ritual, and then leans down to kiss Yua back.
She doesn't taste like someone else, at least.
"I smell something delicious," MIho says. "Have you been working on it...?"
She hasn't seen the flowers or the wine, yet, but she will.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua's responses to Miho's texts -- even the first one -- were quite prompt.
... feelings are hard, but hearing from Miho is nice.
She'd like to say she isn't relieved to find Miho tasting just like Miho normally does, but...
"Mmhm, mmhm!" Yua hums, brightly, as she grasps Miho's good hand and tugs her into the dining room. And if she's a little too bright, a little too eager -- well, it's not fake. It's just... "Come and see!!"
(Theatrics are how she learned how to get along with other humans. Communicating isn't as impossible when it's on a stage.)
She has to navigate around Tiger, of course, weaving around Miho's ankles and meowing with MANY complaints. Yua pauses to dote on him, for a moment, of course. ("Who's a precious baby???") And then --
Their dining room is sensibly decorated as always, but there's a fancy tablecloth on the table, now, and that lovely vase of roses she grew herself. The roast sits at the centre of the table, vegetables artfully arranged around it. There are chopsticks set out, rather than a knife and fork; they're eating utensils more generous to someone who can only easily use one hand, right now. Rich red wine sits by Miho's place at the table, alongside a nice glass; Yua, of course, has a bottle of pomegranate juice instead.
"Do you like it?" Yua asks, a single red thread of anxiety wrapped around her anticipation, a reminder.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Feelings are hard.
But Miho is here, and lets herself be brought in. She notices how bright and eager Yua is, and a pang of emotion does reach her heart--but rather than ruin the moment, she focuses on enjoying what Yua's prepared. ...And, of course--
"Hello there!" she says to Tiger, "I'll come see you soon, mm? Don't worry, I'm here...."
But the complaints can wait. That lovely vase of roses; Miho sees them, ,and her eyes linger on them, her expression melting slightly. Then there are foods, and there is the wine, and...
"Beautiful," Miho answers. "It's all perfect. And to think, you worked so hard even now..."
"I love it," Miho says, and moves to the table. "I love you."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua's eye mists, but her smile only grows wider and warmer. "Mimi's happy...!" She warbles, happily, her hands clapping together. "Eee! I really wanted to make you happy, Mimi!"
She takes over slicing the roast, of course; for one thing, she roasted it, and for another, that does take two hands. She's good at ribboning the meat in such a way that chopsticks can gather it up, though. "I love you, too," she smiles, pausing in the carving to do so. "So so so much..." This much!
She helps Miho get all that nicely-shaved meat and vegetables onto her plate, and takes some for herself; and she makes sure to pour them both wine-slash-juice, as appropriate, too. "Don't worry," she assures her. "I took all my tablets, so it should be okay..." Miho may note, when she tries the meat, that the herbs and sauce are a subtle touch which work with the meat rather than making their own statements; going with red meat is a little daring, but she's done what she can to make sure that her nose and tongue won't be surprised and revolt.
... well, she'll still be eating a little slowly, though. Just in case.
But she's at least hopeful enough about her prospects that she hooks an ankle around Miho's leg under the table, which she would know by experience Yua tries not to do when she's feeling sick.
(She almost fell right on her face trying to get up in a hurry one time.)
"Um... did you have a good time?" Yua wonders, as she takes a cautious nibble.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Mimi's happy. Yes. Miho smiles warmly at Yua.
"I can tell," Miho says of love. "You've put so much into showing me..."
Wine! Miho will sip her wine, and regard Yua thoughtfully at her tablets--but from what she can see, Yua does seem all right for the moment. "All right," Miho says. "Just let me know if there's any trouble." She wants to be sure, because it is daring.
Miho eats slowly too, but not as slowly; more 'savor' speed than 'worry' speed, and indeed it's very good. "This is wonderful," Miho says when she next sets down her wine. "And you paired the wine ideally..."
But there's the question. MIho pauses, as Yua asks, and then, "Not as good as I would have with you," she settles on saying.
"...Going out to see so many people at once..."
She shakes her head. "Well, it was fine. He has a lot of friends to see, I suppose."
If she's a little less enthused to discuss him than her dinner, well, that's probably normal.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua wanted to make Miho something delicious instead of the bland food they end up eating a lot now, clearly. "Yay, you get it!" Yua beams, delighted. "Mmhm, mmhm! I worked hard!"
Nibble... nibble... it's easier, if Yua eats one type of thing at a time. "I will," she takes a break from that nibbling to promise. They say that her nose is really sensitive, now, so she went and brought all the ingredients fresh today to make sure nothing was bad...
But when Miho remarks on the quality, Yua's all smiles. "Ehehe... actually, I chose dinner to go well with that wine! It's one of your favourites, right?" And that might explain why it's red meat, tonight. Red meat for a red wine...
Her foot rubs at Miho's calf, hearing what she settles on. "Oh... he was showing you off, huh...? Yeah... that can be really hard." And she must just be thinking of her own experiences as arm candy, looking down at her plate.
"... I was surprised to hear he asked you out," Yua says, a moment later. "Though I guess... this isn't the first time he's asked, right? We were just... busy, for a while." There's a little tink at her plate, as her chopsticks snag up some more ribbons of meat. "He must have been pretty anxious... but for me, it's hard to remember our normal lives when all these serious things are happening."
Yua sighs, shaking her head. "Kimi-san came to visit me today," she says -- and it's not a surprise, at least, because Yua mentioned it in her lunchtime texts to Miho (alongside insisting that she get a good lunch). "I felt really bad when I realised he'd been trying to achieve his dreams all alone, even though we had a deal... I guess I hadn't thought about it, since he's been helping us without saying anything." Kimitake, notably, stayed behind in Sumaru to smooth things over with the Order while Miho and her people made themselves scarce; his diplomacy was much better suited to making sure they didn't face consequences for their actions, and he's protected them admirably from his end.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho is happy to see Yua happy. And with the meal.
"Good," Miho says, "So long as you do."
But Miho hears Yua's explanation--she looks surprised! "You remembered," she says. "Yes, it is, I was just thinking how pleased I was that you'd selected this one..." She smiles. "Good choices."
But Yua mentions it's hard--it must be strange, to think of Miho being shown off in quite that way. Even if it weren't also painful. "...Mm," Miho says. "I don't like the scrutiny... There's too many people." She pauses. "Well, we didn't stay the whole night, at least. He could tell I wasn't fond of the crowds."
Still, Yua was surprised--
"Right," Miho says. "I had to turn him down for the last party, because I was earlier in recovery." And they were... occupied. Very occupied. "He was worried," Miho agrees. "...But that's true for me, too." Remembering...
But he visited--it is not a surprise at all. Still, "I see... Well, he has been invaluable to us," Miho admits. "I... suppose it's fair to say that we should support him, too, while we can."
"But don't feel bad. We should support him, but we've had our own business to consider, too--and our baby."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I did!" Yua smiles, looking all the more pleased to have surprised Miho with it. "I wanted to make sure you came home to something really, really nice tonight!"
Yua, strangely, doesn't struggle so much with the idea that Miho would be shown off; she's still very much a woman, and that's really the dichotomy of the thing, it seems, at this level of society. Women are... prizes. The fact that Miho's been able to sidestep it by claiming a prize of her own doesn't really... make her immune to it, or anything.
"I'm glad he was thoughtful," Yua smiles, though it's a touch thinner. (Her wrist is thinner, too, as she lifts those chopsticks to her lips.) "I hope he understood when he saw your arm..."
Miho was worried. Worried about her relationship with him? Worried about seeing him? Worried about --
Yua bites her tongue alongside the meat, her eye widening with the surprise. "Mmf," she complains, and swallows, "I bit my tongue..." It's not quite the trouble she promised to tell Miho about, but she did promise!
She listens to Miho's logic on Kimitake, and nods along with it. "Kimi-san said I should stay positive," Yua says, as her expression grows troubled. "It's because stress is bad for Hiroki... I've been trying really hard to be okay," Yua insists, and it might well echo what she told her, last night, though now Miho can see the strain in her smile. "But how can it be okay, Mimi? His mommy's a murderer," and those chopsticks tremble, a little, in her grip. "I know I didn't kill him, but I let it happen... just like I made sure we could try to kill Suou-san... just like I'll make sure you can kill Sake-san soon..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"And I did. ...But of course, coming home to you on top of all this is even better."
Miho struggles less than she thought she might with it; it's just a fact of life, even if it had been different for a while, with Yua. She isn't at all immune. And that thin smile...
"He understood," Miho says. "He was a bit alarmed... That kind of thing only happens in movies, he said." She pauses. "But--"
Miho actually just meant that she likewise has a hard time remembering such things... but it's not hard to misunderstand, in a situation like this.
"Are you all right?" Miho asks. Bit her tongue...
Positive, Yua says, but the stress...
"Staying positive is good... but ignoring your feelings doesn't do much good for that."
She sighs, seeing that strain. "It has to be," she says simply. "...That man made his own choice," Miho says. "I offered him his life. And in return, he tried to take mine. There's no need to feel guilt for such a man as that."
But Suou, and Sudou...
"You're more important to me than they are," Miho says simply. "Your life matters more to me than the lives of those in our way. In this world... 'justice' isn't something that exists. If it did, you wouldn't have been put through what you were."
"So we must instead rely on 'strength'. And each other. And as long as we have each other..."
"I can live with a lot else."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Aww, Mimi..." She means Yua was the really nice thing, Yua realises! Yua's the nice thing!!
She tilts her head, when Miho relates what he said. "But this definitely isn't a movie, Mimi," she insists. "I checked."
... it's not that she thinks Miho's likely to worry about it; it's just that the idea of being monitored might be hard for her, right now. But Yua's thoughts speak to her own worries -- to the separation she feels, right now, that she'd feel like Miho would be more likely to echo his thoughts than hers.
She knows it isn't logical, not with everything she's saying... but Miho's not the only one who can have strange beliefs when she's under stress.
('I understand,' Kimitake had said. 'If Miho-san were any less devoted to you, you'd be in a precarious position... if she decided she liked being conventional, you'd have little recourse. But you have nothing to worry about,' he'd gone on, supportively. 'You know how much she loves you. Besides, your marriage to me is a deal we've struck which ensures your safe keeping... remember that Miho-san helped to secure that, too.')
Yua's not sure why she's remembering the things he said when Miho's talking to her, though.
... if every man could go away, she'd be happy!
But of course, she feels bad for having a thought like that, too...
"Um... mm," Yua hums, vaguely affirmatively, when Miho asks if she's all right.
She looks bothered, though, when Miho says that ignoring her feelings won't help, and she knows it's because she is. She's ignoring them very much, and it feels very bad, and...
"I still feel bad," she says, quietly. "Someone died, Mimi... he died in a lot of pain... and he died asking me for help. I'm not happ... um..." She blinks, her eye damp again. "No... that's not true. Sometimes I do feel like he deserved it... I think about how he hurt me, and I feel like I'm happy he's dead. But those feelings get lodged in my throat, and I choke..."
Yua reaches out, with her free hand, to rest at the crook of Miho's arm. "I'm not as strong as you," she says, and there's no other way she can frame it, when Miho's hands are that stained. "There's no one more important to me than you, Mimi... but killing someone, I... if they gave the blade to me, I don't know if I could do it. But I always think... isn't it a lie to say I'm innocent if I help make it happen? I think they say you're an 'accessory', then... that's what I always am," she adds, with a scowl of resentment.
"But, um... Mimi, I... I'm not all right," she goes on, her fingers curling into her nicely-ironed shirt. "I'm really jealous and worried and scared and that's just about the normal stuff and that would be bad enough but there's a murder too and, and a too murder, two murders, that's too many murders I think!"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
She is!! And--
"..." Miho turns her head to look fully at Yua, at the matter of it definitely not being a movie. "it feels silly," Miho says, "But I appreciate it. The idea that you checked, I mean. I don't..."
"I don't like being observed in that context. It's different, in the arena."
But...
Miho of course doesn't know Kimitake said those things. She'd be upset about that. But--
"...You're kind," Miho says. "That's why you care. Even though he deserved it, you still care." It's not quite the same as 'feeling like' it.
Strength...
"Maybe not," Miho says of Yua being able to do it. "...But that's true," she admits. "I can't lie; you're a part of all this. Much as I hate that that's true... it's not something I can fully protect you from."
"Or at all, I suppose."
She's not all right...
"...It is too many. I can't say... I like it. I can justify it, of course. With that man," the Joker Killer, "it was always going to be temporary--he's too unstable, too violent to stay allies with. ...But... Suou-san was simply in the way."
"All this... I don't like it at all. It feels like over and over I'm being distracted from what I really care about... But I don't know how not to be."
"As for the 'normal stuff'..."
She sighs. "It's all grown so complex."
A shake of her head, and Miho sets down her chopsticks, reaching out to take Yua's hand. "It feels as if there's someone or something working against us. ...That we're being watched, that we're being toyed with."
"...But the doctors, they tell me not to think like that. And of course they must be right."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I know," Yua assures Miho, and in this avenue, at least, she feels like she can be the one who's assuring. "Your feelings aren't silly... I know you get really worried about that stuff. And when people say, like, metaphors and stuff, sometimes it feels like more than that to you, right? You've got a big stress right now, I know it's harder when it's harder... and it's got to be even harder seeing the mental ward and everything, too."
Yua knows that the sanitarium is a place where people like Miho go, when they're too inconvenient.
... it reminds her way too much of how things were, before.
But Yua doesn't quite realise enough to realise she should be upset about Kimitake, who took her worries over Miho's absence and spun reasons why she would be only to valiantly disprove them all. (Never mind that Yua wasn't thinking about that, before he said anything...) Instead, she's upset over something much more easy to comprehend: murders.
"Oh," she sighs, when Miho insists that she's kind. "Sometimes... I don't feel kind..." Some of her thoughts, in fact, are very unkind.
But her brow knits, when Miho admits she can't protect her from the bloodshed. "Mimi... it's okay," she insists, squeezing her arm. "You would if you could... and you still protect me from a lot! Your arm wouldn't be hurt if you hadn't protected me!"
It is too many murders, though.
"I don't know how not to be, either," Yua admits, downcast. "I'm not someone who can... I mean, I couldn't... all I can do is what they tell me," and for a moment it seems to her that the chopsticks in her hand have all the weight and sensation of a handgun --
('If you don't like it here, go ahead and shoot me'... wasn't it something like that? Something that built to, 'if you can't shoot me'...)
-- those chopsticks clatter, as they drop to her plate.
Miho finds Yua's hand a touch clammy, but her fingers are home to her; they search hers, a moment, before they curl in.
Normal stuff. Normal stuff...
"I'm sorry I'm not a man," Yua says, quietly. "It would have been better... for you, for us..." It's not so strange that Yua would frame it that way, to her, even though Miho's the one in the suit; Yua would only like women either way.
... and maybe a man would have been strong enough to save himself.
Yua's not exceptional, like Miho is.
"But... no one's doing that, Mimi," Yua insists, shaking her head. (She trusts Kimitake too much to think of him; she doesn't even realise there's a factor greater than him influencing her life.) "Not... toying with us, anyway. The Powers that Be, um, they're always watching, but... so long as we do what they want, I don't think they care too much about what we want? Mm..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Worried... It's true that Miho is worried. That she worries about precisely this kind of thing. But Yua is sensitive to that. Miho nods. "Yes," she says. "People who see such things... the doctors call them crazy. They dismiss those insights. And sure, sometimes the insights are nothing. But..."
"I do not like such places as that. They are a way to be forgotten. To be sent out of the way."
Miho knows it, too.
"But you make the effort to be," Miho says. "That is important." Kindness. But Miho... well, Yua reassures her. And what she says is true. "I suppose..."
Yua can only do what she is told, in the moment. And Miho likes that very little. But...
"Yua...?" She doesn't quite understand.
But they drop, and Yua says--
"I'm not," Miho says. "You would not be the one I love, if you were a man. ...Oh, you might be similar; a man could be as kind as you are, as attentive, as gentle... but it would be difficult for a man to be so cute." She smiles, softly. "And a man could not carry Hiroki for me. For us."
But no one is...
"Mm," Miho says. "You say it... .and it's probably true."
"...Yes. They only care about their own desires, not our own. ..Sorry, Yua. I..."
"I get to thinking, and it goes places..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"You're worried because people are watching," Yua says, with compassion, having spent long hours trying to figure it out herself. "Sometimes you're suspicious of people who really haven't done anything wrong, but... people have always been watching you, Mimi. Before you got involved with 'them', it was because you were rich and powerful... so it's not like you just made it up. Sometimes, it just... seems scarier than it really is, right...?"
She shakes her head, scowling. "If anyone tried to send you there, I'd, I'd -- I'd rip the walls down!!!" And she's very emphatic about it, but she can't be speaking literally.
Yua couldn't pull down a sack of flour from the top shelf in her condition, c'mon.
But Yua tries to be kind, and Miho tries to protect Yua, and maybe... maybe, that's enough. "It's the effort, right?" She asks, as if to underline it. "The effort's important."
... Miho isn't sorry she's not a man, though. And Yua looks to her, again, blinking tears out of that crimson eye of hers. "I wouldn't...?" She swallows; she looks down at her hand, and turns it, under Miho's, to hide that wedding ring of hers. "Mimi," she starts, all fragile woven lace, "am I... a good wife to you?" To her, not as if she just should have been...
She squeezes her hand, though. "You don't have to apologise," Yua insists, and tries to smile for her, again. "I'm the one who should be sorry... I tried to make things nice for you, just like oneesama said I should," which means she consulted Ritsuko about what to do, "b-but then I ruined dinner getting all sad... I don't want to put all that pressure on you, I just... I have a lot of feelings, a-and they always get everywhere, and..." The duck! The duck in the advertisements! She is so upset about that poor little duck. And surely these are just mood swings, too; Yua certainly dismisses her feelings that way. "It's okay," she insists, shaking her head. "I know -- I know it's been harder for you lately, too. You feel like a lot of things are deliberate, so you have to put a lot more effort into being safe, right...?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Yes," Miho says. "...Yes. It's hard to know what they've done or haven't done..." A sigh. "Indeed. I mind it less, for my fencing. I have agreed to be watched there; I am performing for others as well as myself. ...But just living, day to day... I don't like being watched."
But Yua... Miho smiles. "You see?" She says. "If ever I needed it, I am sure you would rescue me, too." Maybe not alone, but Yua has her ways. Miho believes that.
The effort.. "The effort is important," Miho agrees.
Miho sees those tears, and reaches up with her spare hand to gently wipe them away with the curl of her finger. "You are," Miho says softly, but with certainty. "The world does not understand. They want us to attach to others. And perhaps we must. ...But you, and I--that is my most important relationship. That is most vital to me."
But apologies... Miho smiles. "I love you," she says. "And it's... good, to discuss my feelings, too. I don't often."
But Ritsuko had ideas... Hmmm. She has a lot of ideas. "It isn't ruined."
"You do have a lot of feelings. But so do I. I treasure your feelings, and you understand mine as no one else does."
"...But it's as you say. I can never be sure what's coinicidence and what isn't..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"It must be really scary," Yua says, smoothing a thumb over the side of Miho's finger. "It's okay, Mimi. I don't like people just... treating me like an ornament to admire and parade around, so... I kind of get it, I think...?" Well, they both involve being scrutinised, certainly.
"I would," she insists, though even as she says it she has no idea how. "I really would!!" She insists even more fiercely, as if to drown out all those thoughts. She's not quite loud enough, though, not to find herself adding: "Or... at least, I could ask Recchi, or Shishi, or... I-I'd think of something!"
Maybe that effort matters, too.
Yua leans towards Miho, seeing her reach out, to help her be gentle on her injured arm with that spare hand of hers. "Oh, Mimi," she sighs, and takes the hand she's holding up, lifting their hands to her tawny cheek, to nuzzle it into a hand which might hurt less to jostle. "Mimi... I want to be for you, Mimi... just for you. But that's not.. how it works, right? Oh... I'm no good at this kind of performance..."
(Ritsuko told Yua she should give Miho space to be with Tomoki, but how can she give her space when any distance between them feels like agony?)
"I love you, too," she murmurs, softly. "I want to hear about your feelings, Mimi..." But dinner's not ruined, Miho says, and Yua swallows, looking down at her dinner.
... she's been so cautious, she's barely touched it.
"O-okay," she says, and reluctantly releases Miho's hand, to find her chopsticks where they'd clattered onto the table. "I'll... try to eat a little more. You'd be happy, right...?"
She finds her hand trembling, as she picks up a few more shreds of meat.
(Don't ruin it...)
"I love seeing Mimi's happy face most of all... but all of your feelings are important to me. You're not distant to me, Mimi..." And of course she's sulky about hearing Miho's sister describe her as distant, even if she was talking about the men she was dating, even if Yua would frankly prefer she was distant with men by, oh, at least two metres at all times; but Yua has always gotten cross with people who assume that Miho's lack of expression means she's not feeling things about it.
... but she has the good sense not to tell her how Ritsuko described her, at least. Not now, certainly.
"Hey, Mimi... I'll try to eat this, so..." Yua gulps, looking down at the food in her chopsticks. "So... tell me about it, okay?" She'll do something hard while asking Miho to do something hard; that's only fair, right?
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Hmm... "I don't like that either," Miho agrees. There are enough similarities in it; after all, that's sort of what happens out at parties anyway. The great fencer, the younger woman...
But Yua would, and Miho believes her. "It still counts if you get help," Miho says. "You'd lead their way to me... that helps, too."
But Miho does her best with her arm. And she's not... good at that performance, Yua isn't, not from what she says. "I understand," Miho says. "I'd rather it be just us, too. ...Maybe it was naive of me, but... I still would prefer that."
"All right." Her feelings.
Miho gets back to her own meal; she's eaten rather more than Yua has, and still more now. "Only if it's no trouble to you," Miho says.
But her feelings...
"Thank you," Miho says. "...With you, I don't have to be. I can rely on you."
Miho was definitely not two meters distant from Tomoki for most of last night.
Hmm...
"I know that there is more in this world than most people think," Miho says. "I've known it since I was young, with the dreams..."
"But as I've grown older, I've seen it more and more. People acting in their own strange ways... Sometimes I wonder if the people we see are 'real', that they haven't been replaced by someone else, for a while--just long enough to take a given action, and then return, so that there's no way to trace 'who' they were for a while."
"That seems to happen more and more... People acting in ways I don't understand one day, and becoming normal the next."
"I know 'they' can't read my thoughts... But what else can they do?"
"This young person suggested 'they' had something in the air, but that's ridiculous; I'd know about it. No, it's not in the air--it's in thought, in the spaces between others..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"That would be okay?" Yua wonders, when Miho condones her seeking help to rescue her. "Then... I can do that!" And she doesn't have to convince herself, so much, saying that one.
But what she can't do is just... give Miho space to be with a man. She just can't act okay about it. "I really wanted that," she says, her voice a touch strained. A world just for them... "... but while we're in this world... it's just not possible, is it? Even if actresses say it has to change... it wouldn't change for us." Yua has been following Junko's media appearances; she hopes, at least, that she'll make a change. ... but even if it changed, the circles she and Miho are in...
... they wouldn't accept it, would they?
(Yua can't accept the things she's imagining about how close Miho was to Tomoki, either, but they don't have a choice, and -- and it's better if it's a man she likes, right? Isn't that better? It must be better. It has to be better.)
"I get a little scared when I eat," Yua admits, "but that doesn't mean it's a big trouble, or anything... I want to make you happy!" She could tell Miho that it's no trouble to eat, but Miho has eyes -- twice the amount of usable eyes as Yua at a time like this, even.
Yua tries not to think of Tomoki, as she eats. She tries not to think about eating, as she eats. Little bites, little mouthfuls; chew, chew, chew. Miho may note the way she pauses, mid-bite, to assess whether she's able to keep it all down...
But she has something more important to worry about, and that, at least, helps to keep her mind off of her mouth. (Off of what Miho was doing with hers --) Unreal people, she thinks, and deliberately. It's not something she can dismiss so easily, having seen a strange shift in Shujin's student body since they came back from their holidays. There was a girl who was quite unkind to her fellow students, once, who's now as helpful as can be...
... and that's leaving aside the way she's heard people say cruel things, sometimes, only to pretend like they didn't say anyting a moment later.
(Well. Yua thinks she heard those things, certainly.)
"I believe you saw something scary like that," Yua says, and it doesn't sound like she's just saying that. (It might even make sense, remembering the way Yua spoke about all those cruel things she heard at her wedding.) "Really, it sounds like a really scary thing to notice... and a hard thing to just carry inside, too. I don't know if there are copies of people running around, or if it's something else, but... mm... are you scared I might get replaced, too...?"
Yua hums, thoughtfully, taking another bite. Chew, chew... chew...
... Grandmother said she was taken to the spirit world. Is the Yua who escaped really the same as the Yua who was spirited away?
No, she'd better not think like that.
Gulp. "I got an idea," Yua says, turning to Miho. "What if we made some kind of signal so you'd know it's really me? Like... like... a code word, or something! Something a fake Yua couldn't possibly know!"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Yes!" Miho can confirm that much. "Good."
Miho wanted that, too. But Yua... "Right," Miho sighs. "It's nice, of course. If things start to change. But for us..."
Their circles.
Their family.
"Just stop if you feel you can't," Miho settles on. "I like eating with you, but eating 'near' you is good, too. Especially when you worked so hard."
Miho does notice that pause, here and there... and the real and unreal people--
Yua believes she saw it. Yes.... "...I think I would know, if you were. But then, I thought I could keep you with me. I thought... a lot of things."
So, she's not entirely sure.
But Yua gets an idea, and, "...Yes," she says. "That would be good."
"Make it something you'd know," she says. "They know how I think. but they don't know how you think--they spent so long trying to make it so you didn't at all. So something only you would say..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"It's too late," Yua finishes her thought, unhappily. "We can't ever be happy in this world... can we?"
How far would she go, to get to one where they'd let Miho put the ring on her finger?
Yua smiles, when Miho points out that she likes eating near her, too. "Aww, Mimi... I'll still try, okay?" Strangely, it... gets a bit easier, when Miho assures her it really isn't ruined if she can't eat much.
(Nausea is something mediated by smell and taste, yes; but anxiety has something to say, too.)
Her brow knits with sympathy, hearing what Miho thought she'd know. "Hmm... okay!" She chirps, and makes an effort to sound like herself about it. "Then... it's a magic spell! Mimi-bambini, you've got-ta know it's me-me!" It's lyrical. It rhymes. But it's not even an elegant rhyme, it's downright farcical --
Yua sparkles as she smiles, and it's hard to imagine a doppelganger coming up with something as silly as that.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"...Maybe not," Miho says, and sighs.
But Miho is glad Yua will try, at least. That's enough. The effort matters, as they discovered before. But as to what Miho and Yua might know...
"Ahahah," Miho laughs softly. "That's perfect," she says. "...No one else could do that the way that you do."
"Thank you, Yua."
"...Always be you, won't you?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
And this world will be sorry about that.
Right now, though, the only thing they can do is to try their best; and that means Yua's smile brightens, hearing Miho laugh, because she's managed to bring her some joy in spite of it all. "Mmhm, mmhm!" She hums, happily, her ankle rubbing at Miho's leg.
"I'd do anything for you," she assures her, gently, before her tone brightens again. "But being me, that's something I do for me anyway! It was really hard getting my name back, you know... I don't want to be anybody else!"
She smiles, tilting her head as she looks to Miho. "I'll always be Youa," she promises, with more of that improper English, both there and in the way she insists: "And you'll always be Memimi! You and me... me and you... Yumi, Miyu! Right?"
Yua ends up having to re-heat her lamb to get through it -- Miho would know that cooling food is a nausea trigger for her -- but she manages to work through most of her plate, slowly, beside her. And it takes a little while for her to recover from such a feat, but...
Well, Miho will get dessert eventually. That will make Yua happy, too.