2026-03-07: Minority Stress
- Log: Minority Stress
- Cast: Yua Ijuuin, Miho Ijuuin
- Where: Aoba - Penthouse
- OOC Date: 2026-03-07
- IC Date: Sat, Oct 06 2012
- Summary: Miho comes home Saturday morning to find Yua a wreck. She says it's about the mission, but it's not really about the mission... it's about Miho's boyfriend, who Yua can't keep on pretending to like. As all those jealous, hateful feelings pour out of her, Miho patiently explains just why the plan is the plan, and why there's no other way than this. It's a difficult conversation for both of them, but they come out of it closer together.
- Content warning: Implied sexuality, death threats, possessiveness
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
On Saturday morning, Eiko has carefully laid out Miho and Yua's equipment and uniforms, for the murder they're about to do. She's brought in some of those meal replacements and biscuits and water, on a tray, on the bedside table. She's called for Yua a few times now.
... but Yua's still in bed.
"It doesn't matter," she assures her maid, beneath her covers. "I didn't sleep... leave me alone."
She hasn't touched her milk.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho is up early, as is her habit, but Tomoki wheedles her into staying a little longer past wehen she wakes up. She makes sure to wash thoroughly in the shower, and makes it to her own penthouse after dawn.
Miho looks fine. But more importantly--
The door opens. "I'm home," Miho says, as if she'd just come back from work.
She's... calm. Her voice has warmth, but her expression is flat until something happens to change it.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Welcome home," but that's the wrong tone, "Ijuuin-san," and the wrong person behind the wrong voice.
"Let me take your coat," Eiko offers, kindly. "I'm afraid the gentle lady is still in bed right now... she says she didn't sleep well."
Yua sometimes tries to sleep in, but... she's not so lazy as to actually do it, is she...?
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho hears the welcome--but while Eiko's welcome is not unwanted, it is not the one she was waiting for, either. She looks to, "Ikeda-san. Certainly." She shrugs out of her coat and gives it to Yua, having an easier time than before since her arm is improving. "Thank you," she says.
Then Miho sighs. "I imagine she didn't. ...I didn't really, either," she admits. "But we can talk later. For now..."
"I'm going to go and see her."
Miho steps back towards the main bedroom, and when she opens the door, gives it a gentle knock to announce her presence. "Yua," Miho says.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Good luck," Eiko says, and in that well-wishing she encodes a subtle warning: that Miho will need luck.
The bedroom is still; there's that tray, on the bedside table. (Untouched.) And a lump, in the middle of the bed, with all the blankets piled on top...
... even though Yua's constantly overheating.
For a moment, the lump is still; and then, as if stirring from light slumber, it shifts. "Nn... Mimi...?" Yua's voice comes from it, exhausted.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
MIho takes the warning with her. And there, she sees: blankets. A lump. ...her favorite lump, in fact. Yua overheats so much... But she speaks up and--
"Yes,"Miho says. "It's me." Miho crosses the distance, but doesn't sit on the bed yet; instead, she looks down at that blanketed lump.
"...I'm home."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Welcome home..." Yua says, though her voice is a touch small. She digs herself out of the blanket pile, flumphing all the blankets away. Miho can see, immediately, that she is far more flushed than usual from how much she's been cooking in there, sweat licking at the dark teal hair that spills over her shoulders and down over her nightgown.
(It's quite flattering. She picked it specifically to appeal to...)
"I missed it, right?" She asks, looking up to her. When she came back in, she means. "Sorry... I-I said I'd welcome you home, and, and I can't even..."
Yua bites at her lip, and shakes her head, smiling. "You came back!" She says, instead. "I thought you'd be gone until lunch, so... so that's why... sorry, Mimi..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Thank you," Miho answers. She looks over Yua, beautiful even in this light. In other circumstances, that might be exciting; in these, it puts a pang of something in Miho's heart that she can't immediately identify.
"it's fine," Miho says. "I haven't been here long. I came right back to see you."
But Yua smiles...
"I'm sorry," she says instead.
"But I did come back, and lunch is a long way off."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Right back?" Yua asks. And asks, with a little more suspicion, a thing Miho might well recognise even if it's something rarer on her face: "But the sun's already up. Were you really up that late? Mimi, you can't be so irresponsible when there's a mission!"
It's not about the mission, but that's what she scolds her about, anyway.
"... but you did come back," she agrees, frowning, as she pushes herself up sitting. "That's good... I can make you lunch before we leave. You need to eat, or you'll be hungry when we're out there..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"As soon as I could," Miho corrects herself. "He made me promise not to leave before he woke up, and..." It feels a little lame to her, but Yua is talking about the mission, so, "You're right. I'll work harder."
Yua agrees at least. "I'd appreciate that," Miho says of lunch. "But are you sure you don't need to cool down, first? You look terribly warm..."
She worries about Yua, too, after all.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"He made you promise," Yua scowls, darkly, and she doesn't bother to hide her pout. "You could have woken him up, you know. And what's that, 'and'? You had to attend to him before you left, too, didn't you? I'm sure you had a great time."
She regrets it as soon as she says it, hands balled to fists in the blankets, shoulders hunched about her ears; she winces, into herself, and closes her eye tightly.
"... sorry. You don't need to hear about gross thoughts like that..." She says, as she shifts to the side of the bed. Her feet swing out, to press against the floor, as she grasps the side of the bed. "I'm okay. I just wanted something heavier on me, so I got out the blankets..." ... normally, she would have had Miho's arms around her, and those aren't too hot, compared to all those blankets.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho spots the scowl, all right. And she's kind of tired, too. "I did," she says a little more shortly than she intends, wake him up. But Yua continues, with 'and', and Miho doesn't have any expression at all in those few moments. She just watches Yua.
"..."
Yua tries to walk it back, and Miho sighs. She thinks about what to say... But instead, Yua continues, and Miho lets the matter go for the moment. "I see." Something heavier... and Miho wasn't available, this time.
"If you're sure," she says then about Yua not having to cool down. For her part, she's still standing, looking down at Yua.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua expected Miho to yell at her, to get upset, to...
... anything...
... but it's as if she never lost her temper at all, and all she has to show for it is those two short words.
Somehow, that's even worse.
"I'll go get --" lunch started, she might have said, except she pushes herself up stubbornly and ends up stumbling, because overheating like that has only made the fainting spells worse, and going from sitting to standing that quickly was never going to work out.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Give her time; Miho might get upset if Yua keeps needling. She got close, just then. But as it stands...
Yua pushes herself up stubbornly, all right. Miho is there in an instant, leaning down precariously to catch Yua and prevent her falling entirelly, holding them both up with powerful leg muscles even at this awkward angle.
"Yua," she says, "Please be careful."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Don't!" Yua cries, sharply, as Miho catches her. "Don't, you're hurt! I don't need help! I don't need it! I'm fine, I'm fine!" And is she really fine, when that insistence is all choked by tears? "I can do it on my own!"
She can't, though.
And maybe, she thinks, that's why Miho wants to see him so much now.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
At this, Miho finally looks stricken; Yua denying her help. It shows on her face, albeit muted, as most of her expressions are. Yua says she's fine, and fine, and fine, but--
"But I want to help," she says, and then--
"Yua," she says, and moves to help her back down onto the bed. Her arm isn't fully healed, that's true. Even the power of her Persona can't do that. But...
"...You're not fine."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Miho wants to help... so why can't Yua stop thinking of how she wanted to sleep in his bed, last night?
Yua hiccoughs, and Miho can arrange her back on the side of the bed with relative ease; and she may note, interestingly, that Yua's muscles stop locking up the instant Miho stops standing over her (apart from her) and sits down beside her, instead.
"Uh-uh," Yua shakes her head. She reaches out for Miho's good hand -- hesitates, a moment -- and then grabs fruitlessly onto the hem of her shirt, instead.
"Uh-uh..."
She's really crying, now.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho does note that fact. Something tips over in her mind, something she thinks about, and Miho stays seated beside Yua--and as Yua grabs her shirt, Miho lifts that good arm and puts it around Yua. "Yua," she says softly, and hugs her if she'll be allowed to do it.
She won't object to her crying. ...She doesn't like it, but...
"I said I wanted to know your feelings..."
"So cry, if that's how you feel."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua scooches closer to Miho, when she puts her arm around her; perhaps she, in her way, was giving Yua permission to latch her arms around Miho's midsection and cling to her like a barnacle.
For a few moments, she just wails. When she finds her words, they're choked. "I... I...!" She starts, quite distraught. "I feel bad!" And then: "You made me feel bad!"
Yua accuses her of that, but she doesn't let go, either.
"You were too busy -- KISSING or WHATEVER and -- and -- you never replied to my texts at all! Not once! I cried and cried and cried, Mimi! I wasn't important enough to notice, not even hours later! And -- and then, yes, you called, great, but you called to say you WANTED to sleep with HIM, when, when all these awful things were happening today, and I had to just, just, be okay with it! Figure it out! So I can do it myself, I don't need help, you can do what you want! It's my fault for not being good enough, anyway!"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Yua wails, and Miho listens to it stoically. She does most things stoically. But this...
Miho hears it; she made her feel bad.
Miho continues to hold onto Yua as she throws those words at her, continues to listen. But...
"Ah," Miho says.
"Because today..."
"I'm sorry," Miho says. "I didn't mean to make you feel so bad."
"But..."
"What I want to do is help."
She's a little more tense, than she was. "Who ever said you weren't good enough?" she asks. "Who ever said that? I didn't."
"It has nothing to do with whether you're important. Obviously you're important. Do you think I've done all these things because you don't matter to me? Do you think I've fought and bled and killed because I don't care about you?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Miho apologises, and Yua nods, wordlessly, against her. But she can feel her tensing, even before she speaks again; even as she asks who said that.
For some reason, she thinks of Kimitake, warning her that Miho might have plans on Sunday evening, anyway, but... she can't be asking about him.
"No," Yua shakes her head, miserably, and still pressed against her. "No, I... I just..." Tears well in her eye, again. "I'm sorry," she says, "my feelings are bad, too... I'm so ungrateful! And, and ugly, and pathetic, and, and useless and helpless and -- and you must be s-so sick of me!"
It's more of the same that made Miho upset, so why is Yua still saying it? She must really be...
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Yua," she says. "I don't feel any of those things about you. You know the way I feel; you know better than anyone else. You always have."
"...I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't realize how much you needed me last night. I have... a lot of things to balance."
"But I'm not sick of you. I never would be. In fact..."
"You said you arranged my cousin to have lunch instead of dinner tomorrow, right?" she asks.
"Well, Tomoki-san asked me if I'd come back on the weekend, after I finished my work, and I turned him down. You specifically carved out time for me... I don't want to waste it."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I feel any of those things about me!" Yua wails, in turn. "And I couldn't even say I was still sad like I was the night before because you left for work and never came home! Is this just how it is now?! You're going to disappear half the week?! You might as well go live with him!"
But Miho shifts the topic to her absences, and Yua nods, wordlessly. She's going to hear all about how she's a hypocrite, she supposes, and she deserves it --
A stab of ice lodges in her gut, when she starts her sentence; Miho can feel her flinch. But she finishes it up by saying that she turned him down, and Yua lifts her head from Miho's chest to look to her, the pain still written clearly in her eye, underlined by surprise. "Y--you did?"
Can she tell him to go away FOREVER? Yua wonders, immediately, but of course she feels bad for that.
"K--Kimi-san said it was silly to arrange lunch when I'd be tired after today, and you'd probably just go to his bed again anyway... but, but... but when I thought about how bad I felt sleeping alone so much this week... I thought Mimi must feel bad not sleeping with me, too... I couldn't be mad and make you go through the same thing. That's what I thought..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Yua feels it. Miho hears that, and Miho listens. Half the week, disappearing... Might she?
Miho does feel that flinch--and Miho looks at Yua. "I did," she confirms. It's... better to talk about this, than to tell Yua she doesn't feel how she feels, or talk about how she might disappear...
"Well," Miho says, "Maybe you will be too tired." She has to admit that. "But I appreciate it. I do feel bad not sleeping with you."
"...You were right."
"There are things I have to balance. But..."
"He's not the one I love the most. He's not you."
"I'm looking forward to spending sunday night with just you. I think it will be nice."
"...I want to be close to you, Yua."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I can do it," Yua insists. "We made a deal for Hiroki's sake... that's why I'm doing it."
miho didn't have to make a deal like that.
But Yua struggles to push that thought aside, hearing how Miho does feel bad, when it's not Yua beside her. She stiffens, hearing Miho qualify that he's not the one she loves 'the most' -- doesn't that mean she already DOES love him?! -- but she insists he's not her, anyway, and it will have to be enough.
"I only want you to look at me," Yua insists, curling into her again. "I only want to be for you. I get so jealous, Mimi... it burns me up inside more than all the blankets ever did. They tell me to give you space, but it feels like ice inside my heart..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
A deal, for Hiroki's sake... "I believe you," Miho says.
It may or may not be enough. But Yua insists and Miho listens. It feels like ice...
"i see," she says. "...but the Order is looking for vulnerabilities, now. That man," her 'handler', "He knew to use you against me. And because of that, you nearly died when he laid his trap. It was foolish of me--foolish, to let them see where I am most vulnerable, to let them know the place my heart rests."
"And they're looking even now, for more. ...To say nothing of the fact that our family..."
"Well. I know you're jealous, but it's the best way to keep you and Hiroki safe. ...Maybe they think I'll stop loving you, if I go with him."
"But that isn't going to happen. We're destiny. And when we bring about the true world..."
"Then, we'll have no need for either of them." Tomoki, or Kimitake. "We'll be together openly."
"But in this world... That can't happen. Not so long as we need to rely on the Order."
"...I like him," she says. "I hope he's happy, in whatever new life he gains, in the True World. ...But he's not you, Yua."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"That's a bad plan!" Yua cries, shaking her head. "I don't like it! I don't like it, Mimi! I don't want to act like I don't love you any more! And I don't want you to do that, either! No way, no way, no way, no way!!"
Yua gets all the more upset, as she goes on: "I'll burn this world to the ground! I don't care! I'll crush all the flowers, and kill all the kitties, and do all the very bad evil no good things and I won't even care, Mimi! I won't!" She probably does care, if she's phrasing the worst of all evils in such a cutesy way. ... Miho would know it tends to be a lot more visceral.
"Sorry, Mimi... but I hate him." Yua says, and her voice is cold, as she finishes up her denial. "I hate men, but I hate him most of all. I hope he swallows a thumbtack and steps on a lego and gets stuck on a sawblade and dies. I'll never forgive him for touching you... not while I'm right here."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
A bad plan, a plan she doesn't like, one she hates, but she goes on: she'll burn the world to the ground, do all thee things.. and Miho listens.
Eventually she says, "No," Miho says. "You won't."
"You won't do those things because it's not in you to do them, Yua. It isn't who you are. But I will do whatever it takes for us."
"...And unless you can give me a real alternative--one that sees you living, not running out of the medications you need, not targeted to get to me--"
"You don't have to act as if you don't love me. That would be impossible for me, too."
"..."
"I don't," Miho says simply of hating him. "...Do you think I love my cousin, for taking you from me? Do you think I'm not jealous that it's him who gets to claim our child? That he's the one whose ring you wear, who goes with you to parties?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mimi!" Yua whines, when Miho just tells her no. But Miho tells her it's not who she is, and she pouts, frowning, as she looks down.
"I can do a lot more than you think," she sulks. "I can draw circles in blood and stuff. I can call Satan! I can call five Satans!" But she scuffs a foot, and hears how ridiculous what she's saying is, when she's even scared of Miho's Empusa contacts. "Moouuuuu..."
Yua sighs, sinking against Miho. "... you've always been the one to do what it takes... that's not fair either, Mimi. Oh... but we have to do it. I can't live like this. I can't..."
She rubs at Miho's side, turning her face in against her shoulder. "We can't do anything about them targeting me," she points out, sullenly. "They do that all the time, anyway... moouuuu... I don't know what to do, but..." She sighs, deeply, a thing that yawns her mouth open and fills the whole chassis of her chest before it spills out over her lips. "... okay..."
Yua listens to Miho's own jealousy, and slips her hand in under the hem of Miho's shirt, to hide the mokone gane ring hidden there. "But... when Hiroki's older, you can adopt him, right?" Yua asks, a touch uncertain. "So, um, so Kimi-san can have a first-born son too... right?" But of course that's part of the deal, too; and that's even worse. "I..."
She's more delicate about this one, though.
"... I really resent Kimi-san, too," Yua admits. "I know it's not his fault... but the way men act around us... even if it's an act, I hate it," she says, her gaze dropping down again. "I don't like wearing his ring... I don't like him parading me around."
Yua swallows. "But..."
She clutches Miho tighter. "... but it just doesn't feel the same, Mimi. I didn't have a choice... not really. I had to do it for Hiroki, so..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Yua is sulking, and that might be an improvement for Miho. She listens at least, and doesn't have to contradict her a second time. Not when Yua already knows how ridiculous it is.
"It's just how things are," Miho says. "This world... is that way."
"If we were smaller, if we didn't have to rely on the Order, maybe we could get by. But our family is so large, and the Order so..."
But as Yua turns against her shoulder, Miho brings up her hand to stroke her back.
Yua's still cute, even when they argue like this.
"That's true," Miho says of adopting him. But Kimitake having a firstborn, too... "I know we agreed, but I worry for you..."
Delicate. "I know," she says. "He thought it would help us, and maybe it has... No, it definitely has. Even so..." She shakes her head.
"...Because I enjoy it?" Miho asks. "I can't tolerate it otherwise. If I had to find someone who wouldn't accept you, or who I couldn't accept..."
"..."
"...I can't adopt Hiroki without a husband," Miho says. "I don't have one yet. But how can I get one, if I don't look? And how many men would accept that there's someone I love who isn't them...?"
"Yua," she says, "It's necessary. And if I'm to have a man, I can't live hating him. I can't let someone touch me who I can't accept even a little."
"Yua, I love you. But these are the realities of the world. Our family's name can only force open so many doors."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I hate this world... so much."
Maybe Miho should have been an Ooshiro, after all...
But that's a thought Yua keeps to herself. She knows how much Miho loves her family, too.
Yua sighs, against Miho's collar; and she can feel her relax, as her hand travels up and down the silk of her nightgown.
"I... um..." Yua starts, when she hears Miho worry for her. "It's kind of... um... let's talk about it later, okay?" Miho is a creature of duty; Yua doesn't want to upset her any more than she already has.
But what happens when she can't hold up her end of the bargain...?
Miho asks whether it's different because she enjoys it, though, and Yua stiffens under her hand again. "I don't want you to tolerate it!" Yua insists, plaintively. "I don't want you to have to! I don't want you to need to make up reasons why sleeping in another man's bed is okay!"
But Miho points out something obvious, and Yua grimaces, looking away, before she looks up to Miho again. "But why do you have a husband who touches you like I do?" She asks, her voice high to whining. "Kimi-san doesn't do that with me. Why do you have to do it?"
She blinks at new tears, in her eyes. "So don't let him touch you," she pleads, with her. "You're more powerful than him. Just make a deal, like I did! I don't want you to want someone else!"
Yua clutches at the skin beneath her shirt, with a measure of desperation. "I don't want to hear reality this, reality that! It hurts, Mimi! When you say 'but' after 'I love you', it hurts! Necessity is dumb! I don't like the way things are! I don't accept it! I --"
She collapses, into her, shoulders shuddering with more sobs. "I have -- so much hate inside me --" she chokes out, dismal. "So much resentment, and pain, and -- and no one sees it, Mimi, they think I'm gentle and kind and cute and precious and I'm not, I'm not... I just want to tear it all down, but I'm weak and small and just... just a silly ornament and... and I'm broken anyway..."
... Yua's been broken, though, ever since Miho rescued her.
This might very well be the best she can do... and there's no way she'd survive the real world, like this.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Later, Yua says, and Miho is concerned--but, "...So long as we do talk about it."
Miho listens, but Yua keeps asking. "Kimitake-san gets something else he wants from you," Miho points out, and she can't entirely hide the strain in her voice. "...Yua."
"That's not practical," Miho says gently. "Kimitake-san's situation is unique. He's a gay man, and he's already part of our family; he understands what we need, what we have to have. That's why he listens when you say you need to come back to me."
"I'm sorry," Miho says. "...I know it hurts. I can see it. I can feel it. But if I could change reality by wishing, the True World would already be here. We'd be together, openly."
"...But I can't. I learned that, fighting our 'handler', when you almost died. I have to plan carefully. I have to make every move with exactitude. I cannot for a moment be sloppy, or leave vulnerabilities like a man whose only loyalty to me is my money."
Miho holds Yua, strokes her back. "I know you do. You have all these feelings... and they're fair. You are not only the sweet things."
Yua has been broken, but...
"...Hated or not, this is the world as it is. You'll have to trust me that it's for the best." She continue to stroke Yua's back, gently rubbing her with her better hand. "Remember that I love you."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mmkay," Yua murmurs, into Miho, though she's a little scared.
It's okay. She can face it later.
But she hears the strain, in Miho's voice. "Mm..." She hums, and feels ashamed. "I'm sorry they all look at me like I'm his... I don't want it..."
Miho says it's not practical, though, and it hurts because she's right; she's always been right, about that word, because Miho's always been more practical than she was.
But... Miho feels it. "Memimi..." Yua whimpers, looking up to her. "Mm... it hurts so bad." But hearing Miho feel it, through her... even though she's saying all these awful things, it feels better than when she'd say that she thought Tomoki was nice, somehow.
Miho reasons it out, though. There's a touch of alarm to Yua's eye as she thinks that she almost died, and... "You've been under a lot of stress, haven't you?" Yua asks, as her hand slips up, to cup Miho's cheek. "Trying to keep me safe... Mimi..."
She sighs, her eye lidding, just so, as she focuses on the feeling of Miho's fingertips. "I guess... you have to make him love you, then...? I... I feel really super bad about it, but... if you think it's the only way, I..." Yua sinks her forehead against the side of Miho's head, closing her eye, and she wants to argue forever but she's arguing against the woman she loves more than the whole world.
"... I do trust you... and I love you, Mimi..." Yua murmurs, quietly, against her. "I'm sorry I was a big jerk," she says, conciliatory. "I... I want you to do what you have to do for your plans to work, Mimi... mm... even if that's liking him. Just... just don't like him more than you love me... okay?" And she still can't quite bring herself to suggest that Miho could love him -- her heart won't accept it -- but she's trying. "I really need to come first, Mimi. Sometimes... sometimes, it feels like I was put in this world just to bring you back to our one, and... and I don't even have other people like that, I don't like other people like that, I don't even know what kinds of women I like, because I just like Mimi... all I have is you, Mimi, so... so..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
They'll face it together, like they do so much else. But Yua's shame gets a shake of Miho's head. "I know," she says. "I don't like it either."
It hurts. Miho hears that, too. And as Miho reasons it out, Yua understands a part of it--her stress. "Yes," Miho admits. "I have. ...It was so risky, bringing you there. I was cocky. I never want to make a mistake like that again."
But Yua says it, and... "...I know," she says. "But I do," she says, need him to love her.
She listens, though, to that murmuring before she answers any more. Yua says she wants her to do what she has to do, and...
Miho nods. "You always come first," Miho says. "You're the reason for everything. ...I've known since we were young that I'd meet you. I was lucky enough that you could feel this way about me..."
"...I'm sorry, that it hurts. But..."
"...I'm..." She hesitates, "I'm not the kind of woman who can sleep with someone without caring. Letting him touch me, letting him come so close... I won't make you deal with the details, but I can't help it. If I need him to love me, I can't feel nothing for him."
"And if it can't be him, then someone. But i think... you won't like it, no matter who it is. And that's..." She thinks on it.
"Part of me is glad. I want to be with you."
"Because I do love you. I love you more than anyone." Miho continues to touch Yua, a little at a time. "..." She bites her lip.
"...Yua," she says. "Thank you... for trusting me."
"With your feelings, too."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I'll wear your dress," Yua promises, though it feels like so little. "The one you got me... the one you like..."
If she has to be a discussion piece, she can at least look how Miho wants her to look, instead of how... he'd dress her.
"... oh, Mimi," Yua sighs, hearing her talk about her cockiness. "It really weighs on you, doesn't it? But... I don't blame you, Mimi... I don't."
And she can believe, at least, that she needs him to love her.
It feels better, at least, to hear that she's Miho's genesis point; to hear her speak more of that destiny she's adopted into her own psyche, despite not seeing the things Miho's seen. "I was lucky," Yua murmurs, in turn. "I was the luckiest girl in school... someone as amazing as Mimi felt that way about me...!" ... and the fact that Yua's thoughts are dwelling in high school might reveal a few more details about her feelings, through the axis of the high school girls' cruelty.
"Mm... I know... I know you have to feel something," Yua says, still a touch reluctant. "But something doesn't have to mean everything, right? You don't... have to give him everything."
She sighs, her head shaking, just slightly, against Miho's head. "No... any man who touched you... I'd hate him just as much. It's not him, it's you, Mimi. I only want to be with you, Mimi..." She only wants Miho to be with her.
But that's... not practical.
Yua's head turns, a little; when she sighs, next, letting go of a few more of those burdens, it brushes Miho's ear. "You asked me to tell you... I don't want to keep anything from you," Yua murmurs, in reply.
"Mimi..."
She nuzzles, then, at Miho's ear. "It's still a little while until lunch, right? Can you... do that some more...?" The way she's stroking her back, she means. "And some more... I just... I really need to be yours, Mimi..." She asks so sweetly, but there's an edge of desperation, to her plea.
She needs nothing more but to repair that space between them.
She can't give Miho space so easily.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"That's great," Miho replies. "You'll look beautiful. And I'll know you're thinking of me."
"But... thank you," she says.
Back in high school... it feels so long ago to Miho. So much simpler. A part of her aches at how naive she was, in some ways; how she's had to 'grow up' since.
But she remembers the cruelty, too.
"It doesn't have to mean everything," she agrees. "You might not believe it, but I think of you so much... even when I'm with him. You're on my mind."
But Yua would hate any man like that. "I know," she says softly.
"...I did," Miho murmurs back. And then--
"It is," Miho agrees. "...I can. I can do much more."
"I want that too," she says. "I want to feel you..."
Maybe another day, Miho will have space. Today...
Today, she doesn't want it either.