2026-03-08: Parasite
- Log: Parasite
- Cast: Yua Ijuuin, Miho Ijuuin, Kimitake Ijuuin
- Where: Aoba - Penthouse
- OOC Date: 2026-03-08
- IC Date: Sun, Oct 07 2012 (Forward-dated)
- Summary: Kimitake brings Yua back home, and his story to Miho is different to what he said to her... but isn't it just because he's trying to be polite? Yua and Miho are glad to reunite, but their intimacy is interrupted when Yua has another episode of sickness... and she breaks down sobbing over the unfairness of it all. Miho tries her best to support her as she grapples with the struggles she's facing from the people she fought, but she can't protect her from threats Yua's too scared to tell her about...
- Content warning: High-risk pregnancy, sexual references, domestic abuse
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua texts Miho, in the afternoon, to tell her...
> We're coming home right now!!!
> Kimi-san is driving me back
> I think he was worried about me since I got sick at lunch
> Soooo embarrassing!!!!
"Are you talking to Miho-san?" Kimitake wonders, glancing over to her for a moment before his eyes find the road again.
"Mmhm!" Yua hums, happily, her leg swinging a little beneath the glovebox.
"I can tell," he chuckles, smiling. "You always light up when you hear from her... it's so nice when she replies, isn't it?"
(He looked through her phone, while she was busy; he knows.)
Yua's smile falters, a moment, remembering the one time she didn't. But she shakes her head, and chirps: "Mimi's always thinking of me! But I love hearing her, too!"
"You're reading, though," he points out, with a hint of teasing.
"Hey! That's still hearing from her to me!" Yua insists, pouting. "Phone calls are hard, you know!"
"Oh? I'll have to keep that in mind..." Kimitake smiles, as he drums his fingers on the steering wheel.
Nothing really bad happens on the drive... just, sometimes the things Kimitake says make Yua feel bad, for some reason.
Probably the hormones.
Those are surely also why Yua chirps so brightly, when they get through the door: "I'm home! And I brought someone, too!!"
"Excuse the intrusion," Kimitake says, steadying Yua as she sits down to trade her shoes for slippers. She reaches over to get a pair of guest slippers for him, too, but he holds up a hand. "I won't stay long," he assures her.
And if Miho's coming to help Yua up off the chair by the door, he's certainly not going to get in the way.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Sick at lunch... Miho's concerned about that. But Yua's happy so she shouldn't harp on it yet, right?
> I'm looking forward to seeing you.
> I spent some time with Ikeda-san. She showed me the flowers you were helping her with.
Miho did indeed spend time with Eiko, but Eiko's left by the time Yua arrives, off to enjoy the rest of her time off. Thiss means that Miho is alone when Yua and Kimitake arrive, and is the one answering the door.
"Yua," Miho greets warmly. And then she looks at, "Kimitake-san." She feels a little warmer about him today, too. ...A little. "Thank you for personally seeing to her."
Of course, he's her husband...
"It's no intrusion, of course. You are family." She does reach out to help Yua up.
"I hope things went well. If you aren't staying long today, you're welcome to visit another time."
She doesn't want him to stay today at all, of course. But it's polite to offer.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
> Her peonies are doing so good!!!! Did she tell you about her trip?? Don't worry, I'll take care of you, Mimi!
Yua at least sounds confident she'll be able to take up those wifely duties...
"Yua-san did very well," Kimitake praises her, and Yua feels a touch guilty, hearing him frame it so kindly. He... must be being nice about it, she thinks, so he won't embarrass her... he's more considerate than she is.
"But," Yua says, and she at least is clearly bothered, "I was sick... I ran off in a hurry, and they didn't like it..."
"That's hardly your fault," Kimitake assures her, gently. "If they can't look past something like that, they're not as helpful to me as I thought. But Yua-san was troubled by it," he explains, looking to Miho. "I'm sorry to drop her off in that kind of state, but... you know how things are." He sighs, regretfully, and shakes his head.
'Society,' he lays the blame, without a word.
Yua's troubled, and he's showing compassion and reason...
(... he looks like such a nice man, when someone's watching.)
"It's okay," Yua assures him, grasping Miho's arm. "I'm with Mimi, so I'm okay, now! But I'm with Mimi, so..." Yua isn't quite as socially graceful about it, though she does, at least, look duely apologetic about clinging to Miho's arm.
"So I see," Kimitake chuckles, good-naturedly. "Then I won't keep either of you. Another time, perhaps. I hope your recovery continues well," he smiles, to Miho. "'Til next time..."
"Bye-bye!" Yua waves, cheerfully, and closes the door behind him. She pauses, there, a moment, her hand on the latch. (One of the latches; she does them all up just as Miho likes, after that lacuna of movement.)
... when she turns back to her, her smile's more complicated. "Hey, Mimi... I'm... kind of tired..."
(She looks exhausted, actually.)
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
> She did. I won't worry a bit.
But Kimitake is being nice about it, not that Miho recognizes that immediately. Not until Yua is bothered. "People should be more understanding of your needs," Miho asserts. She looks to Kimitake and shakes her head. "You brought her back. That's what counts to me."
But Yua says it's okay. And Yua clearly wants him gone... Miho smiles. "Until next time," Miho farewells Kimitake.
Then the latches are done, after Yua pauses.
"Do you want to rest on the couch, or go straight to bed?" MIho asks softly. "I'm sorry you had so much difficulty..."
"But I'm glad you were able to come home."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I'm only borrowing her talents, after all," Kimitake allowed Miho -- and Yua -- graciously, when she offered her gratitude for bringing her back.
He understands the arrangement...
Yua should be more grateful to him, when it could be so much worse.
She pauses, again, when Miho offers her choice. "I, um..." Neither of them, as a rule, are particularly fond of going to bed when it isn't time to use it; lying around in the middle of the day is lazy. Even so, she replies, after that note of hesitation: "I think I want to lie down..."
She looks up to her, resting her fingers at Miho's side. "It was my own fault... I pushed myself when we were eating, and... it didn't go too good." She sighs. "They were joking about how they should be worried about the food... but I cooked good food, Mimi! It wasn't bad at all! At least, I don't think it wasn't..."
But Yua can't be sure, apparently.
"... I didn't want to waste any more time there," she insists, with a hint of a frown. "I wanted to be with Mimi..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
He does seem to understand the arrangement; that's good.
But it could be worse.
It can be lazy... but while Miho has been unwilling to treat herself as a proper patient, she's much more inclined to see to Yua's needs on this front. "All right," Miho says. "Let's go."
But she pauses. Yua explains, and Miho puts an arm around her. "I see... That's very unkind."
"I'm sure you did. You do." Cook good food.
"Then, here we are. I'm not going anywhere."
Not today, anyway.
She starts to lead her back.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM Florence + the Machine - Cosmic Love
"I don't get it," Yua huffs, leaning into Miho. "Rich people jokes... and how they act... and how they want me to." Maybe it's normal, you know? The way he talked over her. Doesn't Miho speak for her, too? "I don't really belong..."
(... she's only in this position because they have use for her...)
Yua sighs, as they step into the bedroom. She unloops her lovely emerald earrings, placing them back on her dresser in their proper place; the choker, she fumbles with, for a moment, before asking: "Mimi?"
Even with -- charitably -- one-point-five hands, Miho's still more dextrous with those little clasps. There's a zipper at her back that's just as hard, too, and...
... Yua throws on a nightgown, just in case someone comes to the door, but she's glad to be out of her display pieces. Still, "... hey, Mimi... did you think I was pretty?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho is in a button-up and rich dark slacks--a usual casual outfit for her. And when Yua says she doesn't get it, "Sometimes it's about being polite, trying to spare feelings... and sometimes it's about being cruel in a way nobody can do anything about. I've seen the latter often enough."
She doesn't belong... "You're new to it still," Miho says instead. "And they don't understand you."
Miho only managed to pick Yua up because of the boost of her Persona; with her arm still healing, she couldn't repeat the task here. Nevertheless, she's able to get the clasps and the zipper.
Miho is not sure she'll answer the door if someone comes by.
"You were beautiful," Miho says. "I'm glad you wore one of the ones I got for you..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Oh... I still don't get it," Yua's face screws up, as she scowls. "But... I guess Kimi-san was trying to be polite when we got back...?" What it looks like, certainly, is that Yua hasn't considered that perhaps he really doesn't think it was her fault.
She can be very hard on herself, after all.
"Mm... but I don't understand them, either," Yua supposes, with a light sigh. "But... I'll keep trying, Mimi!" She insists, smiling to her.
Yua does have to wonder what happens to anyone out there, on Eiko's day off. Maybe they just... wait out there until they leave for work tomorrow...? That would be kind of mean, too...
Her smile returns, when Miho declares she was beautiful. "Really? Really, really? Even though I'm so heavy? Hademoto-san said I looked quite slim, but I really don't feel like that..." Hanae's right, though; aside from that curve at her belly, she's looking rather more waiflike than she ought to, these days. Her ankles might be prone to swelling, but her wrists show much thinner; her neck slender, her collar defined. By the time Miho's better, will it be effortless to pick her up even when she's getting her strength back...?
Yua tugs at her good arm, as she moves towards bed, with an insistent, "Mimiiii..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"It seemed to me that he didn't blame you," Miho says, unaware of course that this might be the opposite of helpful.
But Yua can be very hard on herself.
"You can do it," Miho encourages her. "We will together."
Miho is willing to be exactly that mean. As it happens.
But when Yua smiles back, Miho nods happily. "Really," the tall woman confirms. "You feel heavier than you look," she thinks. "..." In fact Yua is too skinny... but wouldn't it make her feel bad to focus on that?
"But still, beautiful."
Yua tugs Miho down, and Miho lets herself be tugged. "You'll wrinkle my clothes," she points out... but her smile suggests she doesn't mind.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I guess not..." Yua sighs. "He was just worried about me, I guess." Doesn't that make sense? He said that preventing stuff like that was for her sake and for Hiroki's... he's got to just be concerned for her health.
"... so long as it's with Mimi!" Yua decides, smiling.
How horrific would an endless string of those luncheons be -- if she couldn't come home to Miho? But that won't happen; Kimitake knows she's Miho's, and Miho's putting her first.
It will be okay, Yua thinks, to herself, and deliberately.
"I feel like an elephant," Yua sighs, and not without frustration. "Like, a BIG elephant!" There are small elephants???
(There actually are! Yua saw pygmy elephants on television one time. They were so cute...)
"Then you should've changed too!" Yua huffs, propping herself up on an arm. "But it's okay," she assures her, hands going to her buttons. "I can fix it!" ... buttons aren't so hard, when she can see what her hands are doing. It's really only the ones in the back which foil her, huh?
Yua looks around, for a second, once she's tugged Miho's blouse free. (And she can see her calculating how many futures end up with her blouse getting wrinkled anyway.) After a moment's calculations, she drapes it over the lamp so that it doesn't get all crinkled up.
"Fixed it!" She reports, cheerfully.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Yes," Miho agrees. With her!
It will be okay. Right?
"It must be hard," Miho answers. But as to changing, Miho laughs. "True," she says. And Yua does fix it; after Yua proudly takes her blouse, Miho laughs softly again--and when she says she fixed it, Miho slips out of her slacks, too.
They will definitely wrinkle, though.
"You did. And I think this is even better," Miho agrees, leaning over to kiss the top of Yua's head. It is more comfortable...
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm... but it's okay, Mimi! Since I'm doing it, you don't have to!" Yua assures her, with a sparkling smile. "It's hard for me to look at myself now... but I know it would be way worse for you."
That's right. When all this started, she volunteered, because...
She cares for her deeply, after all.
And Yua isn't so focused on those sad things, when Miho's laughing. "Mmhm, mmhm!" Her smile widens, when Miho smooches the top of her head, and she drapes over her; she's mindful not to jostle her healing arm, over on Miho's other side, but Yua can still serve as half a blanket.
(If she's giving Miho a pretty good view from that sweeping v-neck of her nightgown, well, that's just a natural consequence of squishing up against her like that. It's still natural if it's totally on purpose, right?)
"This is way better," she agrees, her hand reaching up to stroke Miho's cheek. "I missed you, Mimi..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Thank you," Miho says softly. "If I'd known it would be so difficult for you..." Well, they couldn't have known, right? "I appreciate you," she says instead. "You're working very hard for both of us."
But Miho is laughing a moment later, and Miho's willing to be draped on. it is much better, after all. Even for her healing arm.
Miho absolutely looks down at the view, and smiles more than warmly when she looks back to Yua's eye. "Way better," she agrees. "I missed you, too."
Miho is very clean, also.
"I love you, Yua."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I mean... I knew it would be hard..." Yua starts, and trails off, smiling to Miho instead. "Hearing that, I'm happy!"
Though... is something troubling her? She doesn't bring it forward so easily.
Yua's cheeks are warm, too. She tilts her head up, to kiss (the woman who ought to be) her wife; she owes her one from getting in, after all, and she pays it back with sweet and yielding interest now they're here together. "I love you, too," she murmurs, when she parts to take a breath.
And... sniiiiff. "Heehee... Mimi's been getting into my shampoo!" Yua giggles, nosing at the side of Miho's face, before her head collapses down onto the pillow below her.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
There's definitely something troubling her. Miho's sure of that. But she isn't sure how to press. So instead she offers, "If you want to talk about that, I'm here. ...But I'm happy you're happy about that part, at least."
Miho kisses Yua back, sighing once Yua pulls away. But--
"Ha ha..."
"Well, I wanted to smell like you," Miho explains, for once showing a little embarrassment.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Okay," Yua smiles, to Miho. She turns it around, in the back of her head. But at the forefront --
MIMI'S SO CUTE!!!!!!
(That's a faithful adaptation of what's going on in Yua's head right now.)
"Heeheehee," Yua giggles, all the more brightly, reaching up to boop Miho's nose with a finger. (She kind of taps the side of her nose before properly figuring out where the tip is, though; a tragic consequence of monocular vision.) "You sure do! And that makes me really happy, Mimi!"
Her cheer mutes, for a moment, as she thinks of how she pretended Kimitake's arm was hers... and how it didn't smell right at all.
But... she doesn't want to hurt her, talking about him too much.
"... this way, I can go with you even when you're not at home!" Yua's cheer returns, a breath later. "Mmhm, mmhm! And I can stay close to you... like with my locket! Really, really close," she insists, leg curling around Miho's with all her dancer's skills, hand playing through her hair.
"I'm happy..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho's nose is booped, and her eyes widen to look at Yua. "Oh, good," she says after a moment, and laughs softly. "Well, all right."
Miho doesn't know what Yua's thinking, of course. Instead, she hears what she's saying. "I'm glad," Miho says. "Very close..."
She's wearing hers, too, of course. ...Maybe...
"I'm happy, too."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mimi... I only want to be with you," Yua assures her, though she was cooking lunch for another man. She rests her hand at Miho's shoulder, to steady herself, as she stretches her neck up to meet her lips again. She sighs, against them; she doesn't pull away, this time.
Really, she's quite focused, until --
"Uh,"
Yua does jerk back, all a sudden, a panicked expression in her eye, as she scrambles up -- almost falls right back down, that orthostatic hypotension always gets her -- and scrambles to their ensuite.
The noises she's making now are far more miserable.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Yua..." Miho strokes Yua's shoulder, continuing that kiss until--
Uh?
Yua jerks back, and Miho sees the panic. Before she can even help Yua up, Yua's gone off to the restroom. Miho winces, sitting up and looking after Yua for a moment. Then, she rises to her feet and walks over. "...Yua?" she asks.
"Do you need me to hold your hair or anything...?"
It sounds awful.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Uh-huh," Yua sniffles, miserably. It's not quite over, even if there wasn't much there.
"Uh... uhhhhh..." Those ill sounds shift, soon enough, to ones more abjectly miserable, as she grasps the side of the toilet seat and sobs, into it. "Why's it gotta... I just wanted... waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!" Her face is quite ugly, at present; she's outright wailing.
They're lucky they don't really have neighbours, aside from the place they repurposed for Eiko... they'd ask questions.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho steps inside to do just that, gently gathering up Yua's hair,k just in case. It isn't quite over, indeed. But Yua just wanted...
Well, they'd ask questions, and that would be inconvenient. But they don't exist, so--
"I'm sorry, Yua..."
"It's awful that you're going through this..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Why do I hafta GO THROUGH THIS!" Yua's sobbing demand raises in pitch, as her hand smacks the porcelain side of the toilet; she's surely striking it as hard as she can, but it's hurting her hand more than the offending vessel. "I always just -- ruin it and ruin it and -- RUIN IT!" And she speaks of her sickness like that often; she wears their judgements raw, against her skin.
"I don't wanna! I don't wanna! Got taken over by this -- parasite inside me -- and I can't do anything, I can't even eat, I'm too scared, and it doesn't even MATTER I still RUIN IT! And I can't escape, won't even stop, it's all I'm good for, and I'm no good at it, I hate it, and -- everyone thinks I'm so great but that girl was RIGHT, I'm a BAD MOM, I can't think this stuff about my son, I'm a horrible mommy! I just hurt him all the time because I hate him, right?! Because I'm all black and cruel and selfish and, and --"
At that point, she has to stop to take a breath, except it's so laboured and heaving that it ends up triggering another round of horrors.
Which just makes her sob even harder.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
That demand... Miho strokes Yua's back soothingly, but she hears Yua's cries, and she thinks about how Yua specifically did this for her.
"...Yua..."
"You didn't ruin it," she says softly. "You're not ruining it. It's not your fault. And that girl didn't know what she was talking about." Miho remembrs that girl, after all, just by Yua mentioning her.
"You're not hurting him."
...Does Yua have to go through with it? Miho at least has to wonder...
"It's you I'm worried about right now..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Uh-uuuuuhhhhh," Yua shakes her head, insistently. Her knees hurt, against the tile, and so do her flexed ankles; she's reminded why she's wearing a pad despite not having bled for months, legs splayed to either side of her agonal throne. It's all so... so...
"But she did," Yua insists, her breath choking. "She did. If I was -- really good -- I wouldn't be out there, I'm endangering him, I'm selfish! But I can't even -- eat proper -- and that hurts him, too -- and all I am is a vessel, I'll be suffering until I die --"
Her breath rasps; her shoulders hunch, hand grasping tightly to the ceramic seat. "And all I can think about is -- how hard it is for me -- I asked for this -- I ruined both our lives for this! And -- a-and -- I should be grateful -- but I can't stop crying, Mimiiiii!"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"It's not your fault," Miho says. "If you don't go, they don't give you the medicine. If you don't get the medicine, you die. If you die, he dies."
"She doesn't understand," Miho insists, more firmly this time. "How are you selfish? You're scourging yourself for not being good enough to him, that's the opposite of selfish..."
A vessel. "And you're not a vessel..."
"You should be thinking of how hard it is for you," Miho says. "Because it's so hard for you!"
"It's fine to cry. ...You have reason to cry."
Miho still tries to stroke Yua's back, but she can't hide her own distress, either.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"But I should have worked out something," Yua insists, her voice tight. "I should have done something. The one time -- I did something here, and stopped making excuses --" echoing the woman's words, now, "I got myself married to another man, and now you have to, and, and... it's worse!"
She shakes her head, sharply. "I'm being... so mean to him!" She wails, despondent. "A-and -- and -- and he wants children -- and that man of yours won't be satisfied with Hiroki being your son, I suppose," a thing she realises only now, but with horror, "and I promised, I promised..."
(And of course Yua would take on that birth, for Miho; it's the reason they took her into the family, after all. ... her body was the price.)
"Oh... Hiroki, baby, I don't mean it..." She hiccoughs, a hand reaching down to clutch at her belly. "Don't be mad at him, Mimi... please, don't be mad at him, he didn't do anything wrong..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Excuses, Yua calls it. "That isn't your fault," Miho says, and she still means it. But as to mean, "...You shouldn't have to go through this," Miho says aloud this time, especially when Yua takes on 'he' this time.
But--
"I'm not mad at him," Miho says. "I'm worried about you," she continues. "..Why should I be mad at Hiroki? None of this is your or his fault."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"N-no, no, I don't want that!" Yua insists, shaking her head, vigorously. "I want him! I want him! I can be strong enough, I just, I just..." She averts her eye from the bowl, her face scrunching up. "There's no end, Mimi... it doesn't get better. I can't get out. All around, it's just black, and I choke... and I'm so weak, and, demanding, all the time, and I'm supposed to be stronger, I'm supposed to manage it..."
She reaches up, a touch fumbling -- it's on her blind side, she has to turn her head to figure it out -- as she grabs tissues to wipe down the horrors on her face, even though it keeps leaking. She flushes it all down, only to have to grab for the toilet brush and scrub it all out. (She has to keep it tidy, or God will be offended, and leave; and that's how they get toilet ghosts, which are much less humorous than they sound.) Her arm trembles, as she braces against the ceramic, tries to lever herself up. "Owwww," she whines, piteously, as she does.
"It's not his fault... but it's my fault, Mimi... it's all my fault," she insists, her head weighted, hanging down, even as she tries to pick herself up.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Do the people who tell you to 'manage' it understand what you're going through?" Miho wonders darkly. "I've seen it, at least. ...It isn't a matter of just strength."
But she wants him. She wants him.
Miho gently reaches out to Yua's hand with the brush, and moves to take it from her. "Yua," she says quietly. "Let me."
She'll help her up first, if Yua wants, but--Miho can take care of this part.
"It isn't your fault," Miho insists.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I don't know... sometimes..." Yua sniffs. "It's other moms, too... they say I have to work really hard. And I just think... I'm not working hard enough..."
Miho reaches out, though, and Yua hands the brushstick to her. "Mm-kay," she mumbles, nodding. "Sorry... I think... I'm a lot of trouble..."
She grasps the sink, instead, and grabs some toothpaste and her brush to cleanse her mouth again. They say she shouldn't, after she throws up, but she hates feeling so dirty.
Ptoo... swish, swish, swish... ptoo...
"Mm..." Yua hums, looking into the bathroom mirror, brow knit. "You really think that...?"
(She's asking for confirmation a lot... she must be so insecure.)
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho scrubs while she talks. "Not every pregnancy is as hard as yours has been. Remember in high school, when my older sister had her first? I saw her often, and she didn't have these issues. ...I don't think she's more hardworking than you are."
Scrub scrub. "I don't think you are."
But Yua asks, and... she must be insecure. But wouldn't anyone be?
"I think that, really," Miho says. "I'm very sure of it."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Hm-hmm," Yua nods, when Miho asks after her memory. "But... what if she just wasn't telling us? And... and we couldn't tell, because she was strong like she was supposed to be, and didn't run off in the middle of lunch a-and make everyone grossed out and..."
Yua trails off, and at least washes her hands before trying to rub the tears out of her eye. "'Kay," she whimpers, when Miho says she doesn't think that.
"Mm-- kay," Yua nods, again, and shifts to the side of the sink so that Miho can wash her hands, too, though she still holds onto the side of it.
"I just... feel so fragile and... and... I get really scared..." Yua says, looking to the side. "Like I'm not worthy, or, or, I can't measure up, and... what if I can't handle it...? I don't wanna be a bad mom..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"It was my job as her younger sister to support her. ...The troubles she had were bad enough; I think she'd have hidden those too, if she were trying to pretend it was always easy."
Though... was Ritsuko's husband so demanding? No, that's not fair. Kimitake's been very patient and kind.
Miho does wash her hands, and looks to Yua. "I know," she says gently. "I see it. But you are worthy. ...You're doing your best. And it's enough for me, at least."
"I don't believe for a second that you'll be a bad mother. Not one second."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I guess..." Yua sighs, and her shoulders feel heavy, too. "I should invite her over again... it's been a little while." Yua's the one who handles most of those family visits, after all, right alongside making time to call everyone and keep them updated on the family happenings.
She's also the one who reminds Miho about all the birthdays and related significant dates.
(... and she sure makes it seem effortless.)
Kimitake, though, he's...
He's...
Well, never mind about him. Miho sees her. And hearing that, Yua does manage to smile, though it's a little weak and tremulous. "Mimi..."
She reaches out, for her arm. "I think I'm done here... let's sit down?"
Yua sits on the side of the bed, this time, rather than lying right down on it; she does lean, though, right against Miho. "... Mimi... in our better world... I won't die, right?" She asks, one arm slipping around Miho's back, to hold herself there. "You've seen it, right...?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"That would be good," Miho says. "But.. maybe I should call her," she says. Yua does make it seem effortless, but Miho has seen that she's having so much trouble right now. Besides, Ritsuko was her sister first...
Yua's small smile gets one out of Miho, too. "Yes," she says, and Miho sits with Yua, putting her good arm around the (woman who should be) her wife. "Yes. We're happy together... that's what I've seen."
"It feels like..."
She sighs. "I shouldn't say this, but sometimes I wonder. Everyone tells me that Other World isn't real. What if I'm just... crazy?"
"But..."
"I have to believe in it. Because more and more, it seems like the only way we can be happy, together, free."
"That's worth chasing, isn't it?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm! You should call her too, Mimi!" Yua misunderstands the assignment, thinking at once that Miho wants to speak to Ritsuko on top of Yua's usual social book-keeping. After all, Ritsuko was Miho's sister, first. Even if Yua's trying to be a good wife, maybe she wants to tell her some news personally...
(But of course, Yua can't really be a good wife, can she? Because she and Miho can't be wed. Still, she can... pretend, can't she? She should be her wife...)
Yua reaches over, with her free hand, to hold Miho's afflicted hand -- gently. "That's not true!" She insists, shaking her head. "It is real. It is! How could you tell me all those stories if they were really just stories, Mimi?! You're way too practical to make all that stuff up!"
WOW, Yua, dash Miho's hopes and dreams of telling Hiroki fanciful bedtime stories why don't you.
(BUT SHE'S RIGHT THOUGH!!!!)
"I really believe in it," Yua insists, stubbornly. "Because... because... if we get there, I won't have to fulfil all those duties, any more! I won't just be some -- mistress! We won't need those men any more! Hiroki can be our son, and it won't matter that we're women! And I won't die, and I won't have to spend the rest of my life like this, and, and -- we'll be okay! Isn't that worth sacrificing anything? And doing it without regrets, too!" There's the third girl she was fighting; apparently, they all left a dent in her, last night.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Too? "I meant that I can take care of that one," she says. "Though if you want to talk to her again, I suppose that's fine..."
But Yua's faith is sure. Miho inclines her head--and then laughs, a little louder than she meant to. "I see," she says. "I suppose I am too practical, at that."
It's fine! it's fine.
But Yua's insistence... "That's true," Miho says. And then she calls herself--some mistress. Miho frowns about that. "That girl said something about that, didn't she...?"
The rest of her life like this. Miho has so much here that she wants to unpack, such that it's actually somewhat overwhelming--but one thing ticks out.
"...Right," she says. "For you to live..."
"That's worth anything, even just itself. I won't regret anything that lets you stay with me."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I like talking to ane-ue," Yua says. "And haha-ue, too... they're both warm to me, Mimi." Both her sister, and her mother, she means, in the old fashion.
Miho laughs a little too loudly, though, and Yua blinks, tilting her head, as if unsure if she's said something funny... before she figures she must have, and giggles alongside her. It's okay, Miho! You won't laugh awkwardly alone, even if Yua doesn't totally get the joke!! "But that's why you're so great!" She insists, cheerfully. "I'm way more fanciful and quixotic... but you know what's really going to work!"
She means she has her head in the clouds, except, of course, her head isn't in the clouds, because she just isn't that tall. Miho could probably put her head in the clouds easier, she's VERY tall, but Miho isn't someone who gets lost to fancies. Hmm, maybe that's just not a very good saying...
"Mm," Yua nods, her smile fading, when Miho asks about what the girl said. "She wondered if it would be fun... I was too distracted to tell her it wasn't. I'm worried about her... what if I made it look 'cool'?" Saying the word with air quotes kind of disqualifies her as that kind of trendsetter, but she's still worried about it, anyway. "It's not cool... I'm... someone who would be in a vulnerable position, if you didn't love me this much."
... it would be easy for Yua to be forgotten, between Kimitake's male partners and the man Miho's marked for her husband. She's reliant on Miho's dedication... and it's a vulnerable position, even if it's one she can rely on.
"I want..." She starts, delicately. "... I want to be strong enough to support you, Mimi. But you're right... I'm... not good at that stuff. But--!" She starts, shaking her head. "But this world's no good, Mimi! I don't want to leave you, and I don't want to suffer! I thought... I felt bad, because... because having Hiroki, doesn't it mean I'm doubting your visions? Since the only reason I'd need to leave you with family, it's if I'd die that quickly... mm... was I too hasty...?" She doesn't have an answer, for that, though she hugs herself to Miho quietly.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"I'm glad," Miho says. "They should be."
Yua may not be sure, but Miho is. And Yua follows it up with a cheerful insistence. "Together, we get by a lot better than either of us would alone," Miho says. "That's nice, isn't it?"
...Miho would laugh more if she knew those thoughts.
"...It's different, having a fantasy, to having a reality. But I don't think so. From the outside, you don't look that way." A pause. "But... you are." She is in a vulnerable position. Because of Miho's family, she...
It's not the same position Miho sees, of course, but it's nevertheless a vulnerable one.
But Yua wnts? "...Yua..." She starts, "You do support me."
The world's no good. "..."
"It's all right to doubt," Miho says. "I just told you that I do, sometimes. All that we're going through, all that the world throws at us... all the things in our way."
"But I don't think you were."
That's why, then...
"I don't need you to be anything other than who you are. We'll both be his family. ...And maybe until we succeed, that will look... different, from most people's."
"But we'll get there."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Really nice!" Yua enthuses, brightly. "We're stronger when we're together, Mimi!"
From the outside... "mm," Yua hums, glancing down. "... but... he doesn't love me, Mimi." They have a deal... and if she doesn't uphold her end of the bargain... "... n--not to say you can't trust him," she adds, a touch hesitantly. "Just -- it's because he's your family -- and, um... I'm... I have a duty to him. But... it's just 'convenient'... well, for us, too... sorry, I don't know what I was saying."
She sounds a little fearful, at that; perhaps she's scared of saying something negative about Miho's family. (Which is, technically, true. ... Yua can't be telling her about how she was fighting with him.)
Yua smiles, though, when Miho says she supports her. "Okay," she says, squeezing her hand, gently.
"So... it's okay I had him early? Even before we got to the new world?" Yua wonders, anxiously. "Even though fighting for that world will put him in danger? It's okay?" She takes a breath, and swallows. "We're his family," she says. "He has two moms... well, mother and mama... he's got us! And we won't ever be apart, right, Mimi? I'll always be right here...?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"No, he doesn't," Miho agrees. "...I know." Pause. "Duty..."
"You sound afraid," Miho says. "You know you can tell me how you feel. It's more than convenient--he has a 'duty' to us, too. He's meant to take care of you, ensure that you and I have legal family in common..."
"Father thinks he's trustworthy. Do you think Kimitake-san isn't holding up his end...?"
But Yua smiles, and that's better.
"It's OK that you didn't wait," Miho says. "I think that's better, even. That you fight for him... Well. It's not your fault you have to fight. It'll have to be on us to protect you."
"But yes. I always want you with me. I love you."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Um..." Yua starts, and perhaps she's considering the question. "Nn, no, it's not that," she shakes her head, a moment later. "That girl said it like that, and I got worried... and since you had your 'third date', I... I felt more fragile? More delicate..." And all those things, in isolation, are true. "Kimi-san's been kind to me," Yua shakes her head. "He just -- you know, he keeps me at arms' length when we're alone -- and I'd be bothered if he didn't, but it's different to yours, right? I've had a lot of worries about how our life's changed, but... I don't think it's because of him. Like... like how I'd hate any man you were with, I think...? He's been doing his duty, you know, taking care of me... like, he sat me down and got me tissues when I was upset about ruining lunch, and he offered to let me lie down so I'd feel better, and when I said I needed you he got me in the car right away..."
... all of those things, in isolation, are also true.
And Yua feels bad not telling her about the argument, but... but all those things are true. Doesn't her big screaming episode back there prove that she's just... super emotional about all that right now?
She doesn't want to make Miho paranoid of her own family...
Miho says it's better that she didn't wait, though, and relief floods Yua's face. "Mimi!" She chirps, happily, rubbing her cheek against her shoulder. "Okay... I'll be in your hands, okay?"
She looks up to Miho, slipping her hand out of hers so that she can reach up to her cheek. "Mimi... I love you, too. Come on," she looks behind her, "let's lie back down... just because my tummy's the rudest doesn't mean I don't want to be right here beside you. I brushed my teeth, it's okay..."
... Yua's gotten really quite good at stealing intimacy away from her various maladies, over the past three months.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
It's not that? But the girl said it like that. "...Let's talk about that," the 'third date', "More sometime. But..." Not now. Instead, Miho listens to the things that are all true in isolation. She listens to each. The things Kimitake did that were kind... The way Yua feels.
"I see."
But she smiles back at the reaction to her statement. "You're safe there," Miho tels her, and Yua wants to lie back down.
Miho smiles at her. "Yes," she says. "...I will."