2026-03-17: A Pair of Cracked Hearts
- Log: 2026-03-17 A Pair of Cracked Hearts
- Cast: Ren Amamiya, Makoto Niijima
- Where: Shinjuku, Tokyo
- OOC Date: March 17, 2026
- IC Date: Thursday, October 11, 2012
- Summary: Ren and Makoto study together in preparation for next week's midterms. During a break, Ren asks Makoto about her extreme nyctophobic reaction in the Sakura residence, then admits they broke up with Minako yesterday. As the two of them soothe the cracks in the other's currently-fragile hearts, they mistake that comfort for love, ending in Ren asking Makoto out--and Makoto accepting.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
The buzzer to Makoto's apartment rings in the late afternoon. This should come as no surprise; during lunch yesterday, Ren texted her to ask if she'd be okay with doing a study session for midterms next week, and they'd bring onigiri in return for her time. Today is when they agreed to do that.
And so Ren's arrived--without Morgana in tow. They told him it was because they're worried about how Makoto acted in the Sakura household and wants to talk to her privately about it. Morgana agreed that privacy might be the best idea here and stayed home.
They're in their street clothes, so that they don't get bothered by any cops on the way home due to being in their school uniform. They've got some freshly-made onigiri--they went home to Leblanc after school, whipped them up quick, and went out to Shinjuku where Makoto's apartment is along with a shoulder bag full of books and a study guide.
The study guide is a little painful, considering what's happened to them between now and when they got it two days ago. Kind of ridiculous, but here they are.
The studying itself goes well. With Makoto as a study partner, of course it would. It's easier to focus with her driven, meticulous personality as a counterpoint, and Ren actually makes good progress on their review. It helps, of course, that they've gotten better about actually finishing homework and studying on the regular since finals. ...Better is still not great, but they'll take the improvement.
When it comes time for a break, Ren shares their homemade onigiri with Makoto. As the two of them eat, they observe her for a moment. Eventually, they swallow their current bite.
"Hey, Makoto--I was wondering," they say. "You had a pretty extreme reaction the other day at Sojiro-san's. Is it okay if I ask about that?"
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
It isn't a surprise at all, thankfully. Sae has already confirmed she'll be home late, apparently having to conduct some interviews (that may be a euphemism for interrogation, who can say). So when the buzzer rings, Makoto is ready to buzz Ren in and waiting by the door to invite them in.
No she hasn't considered the implications of letting a masc looking person into her apartment while her guardian isn't home. It's fine! I'm sure it's fine.
When Makoto opens the door, she has changed out of the uniform- and she is wearing roughly the same thing she wore the last time Ren saw her- black turtleneck, full length black leggings- but her blue jacket is hanging on the coathook and instead of those long boots, she's wearing some house slippers and waiting on the genkan. There's a shoe cupboard discreetly next to the apartment entrance, which has a few things- though most of the shoes do appear to be Sae's, given the number of tall heels in there- there are a few of Makoto's- her long boots, her summer loafers and... a pair of Buchimaru-kun sandals that appear to be a new addition.
And there's the rarely used slot for guests, with a pair of one-size-fits-all house slippers.
Beyond that, the apartment is not just nice, it's rather large for Tokyo- honestly, the livingdiningkitchen area alone is probably bigger than LeBlanc, and it's easy to see the space beyond where Sae and Makoto's bedrooms are, along with a full bath and shower. The Prosecutor's salary must be nice...
There's framed art along one otherwise bare wall, and there are several photos around the home- mostly in the entertainment unit. Mostly older photos, of a much younger (and larger) Niijima family- and the last new one is of Sae, Makoto and a man who is presumably their father- but Makoto can't be much older than twelve in that photo.
Still, Makoto is both a consummate host and the house is prepared for having a guest! The dining table is already laid out with Makoto's study equipment, and Ren would have gotten a text confirming what subjects they needed help with- so Makoto's own study guides for the topic- from both this year and last year- are on the table too.
And it's a productive session, because when isn't it with Makoto? She is very disciplined and focused when it comes studying, and more than willing to share her techniques.
Still, breaks are important- and without Ryuji and Ann trying to avoid studying, Makoto is far more open to the idea since they haven't been getting distracted. And the onigiri is apparently a surprise- Makoto wasn't expecting homemade- but then again, why shouldn't she? She's taking the time to eat, and consider the flavour, texture- after all, maybe she can offer some constructive criticism!
Except Ren asks a question first, and Makoto pauses mid chew for a second. It's easy to see her initial reaction- to avoid, to pretend it didn't happen, or it wasn't that bad.
But it's a bit hard to pretend, given she's... pretty sure what happened. Still, it's hard not to notice Makoto's body language shrink down again.
"You probably deserve to know what happened, after all that. It's... pretty stupid though. Um, where should I start?"
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Surely those rumors wouldn't catch up to them out here. Besides, that's not what this is anyway. It's a study session and a check-up on a friend. And who else in the complex is paying attention, really?
...Ren might be underestimating the power of nosy neighbors. They've gotten used to the more laissez-faire attitude of Tokyoites compared to the Inabans back home...
They look around quickly once they're inside, just to get the lay of the place. It may or may not be bigger than Leblanc, but it certainly is big. They take a moment to check out the art and photos--particularly that photo of Makoto, her sister, and the man who must be their father. Their gaze lingers on that one before they join her at the dining table to study.
Ren does notice her shrinking down on herself when they ask. "It's clearly not. It's affecting you even now," they point out quietly. It's tempting to tell her that she doesn't have to say if it makes her uncomfortable, but it was so extreme that actually, they do think they deserve to know. Where should she start, though?
"Is it... something to do with your sister? You kept calling for her," they hazard cautiously. They know she doesn't like talking about the negative aspects of her relationship with Sae, though, so it might just make her clam up.
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
It's fine! It's fine. Sae probably barely interacts with the neighbours given her working hours, so that part is probably Makoto's job. You know. As housekeeper.
Makoto looks a little more ashamed when Ren says it's still affecting her now- she's supposed to be more capable now. Not...
And then Ren asks if it has to do with Sae, that seems to get a reaction of Makoto, but maybe not what Ren was expecting. "Not exactly- well, she was involved but only..." Makoto lets out a long sigh. There's no easy way for her to explain it, especially given her tendency to still get uneasy when even mentioning it. "It's a long story, but I'll try and explain."
Makoto takes a few deep breaths. "...I told you that my mom died when I was young, right?" Makoto asks- because it's a vital piece of the puzzle. She's mostly talked more about her Father, than her mother. "I don't have a lot of memories of her," Makoto says, and her hand slips to the Buchimaru pencil case on the table- a comfort item, as much as a reminder. "After she died, I remember things were... rough. Dad and Sis were really stressed, and I was young enough that I only just barely understood." Makoto's avoiding eye contact already, but her eyes do track to another of those photos- one of the few with Makoto, Sae and both their parents.
"When I started elementary school a few years later things were starting to get better, but it was still... Sis and Dad were different, after everything, and I couldn't be of any use to anyone."
Makoto's starting to give all the signs of wanting to clam up again. More ashamed, more uncomfortable about digging up old memories- but she did decide Ren deserved to know. ...and if she's not safe telling Ren, who is she safe telling.
"You know how every school has mysteries?" She says, after a moment, looking for some possibility of common ground. That maybe this was normal. "...Anyway. I heard some of my senpai talking about a place in the school where you could talk to dead people, or hear their voices, or something, I don't... remember exactly."
Makoto shifts her feet uncomfortably under the table as she gets closer to the meat of things. "I... think it was a supply closet, or something? Anyway, during lunch break one day, I..." Makoto has to work to calm herself down. To slow her breathing. The more she talks about it, the more it seems to impact her. ...Probably because Ren is the first person she's ever told.
"I went in to try and talk to her, and got locked in. I... I don't really remember much after that... Just... I was terrified. And... apparently no one noticed until Sis came to pick me up for the train ride home from school." Makoto's breathing is definitely getting harder, recalling the issue. "Since then... I've been afraid of the dark, and ghosts."
She's still not meeting Ren's eyes. "...Like I said, it's pretty stupid."
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
"That's not a criticism," Ren adds, seeing the chagrin grow on Makoto's face when they point out she's still affected. "I only meant that it must be very serious and not stupid at all."
But she is open to explaining, however reluctantly, and Ren falls silent to listen. They nod once when Makoto mentions her mother is dead, and when her eyes track away towards the photos, they follow her gaze. She had been very little in those photos with four people. They look back at her.
Part of good listening is not interrupting, so they don't point out that as a very young elementary schooler, she shouldn't have felt she needed to be 'of use.' Makoto has a right to how she feels anyway, even if it is self-destructive. When her discomfort visibly grows, they make a noise of acknowledgement and nod her on to show they're paying attention.
"Seven mysteries. Yeah," Ren replies. That is normal, more or less. They raise a hand to their chin when she talks about the exact nature of the mystery at her old school: a spot where one could speak with the dead, or hear their voices, or something similar. They're starting to see where this is going...
Sure enough, Little Makoto had gone there--and gotten locked in. And that prompted her terror of ghosts and the dark... Ren's noticed these things of her before, but until the other night, they never realized just how bad it was. So that's why.
They shake their head. "It's not," they repeat. "That's an awful thing for a little kid to have to go through. I can't believe no one noticed for the entire afternoon. That was--what, three hours? Four? No wonder you're still scared."
It's a trauma that was clearly baked deep into her.
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
"Ah," Makoto responds, when Ren says it isn't a criticism. She can even believe Ren means it!
It's just that Makoto doesn't, not really. She's not a little kid anymore, she shouldn't be scared of the dark.
But that's one a thought process all of her own, for once.
But maybe it puts more things in context, like her sudden, reckless decision with Kaneshiro after Ann called her useless.
"Right," Makoto says, after a moment. "That was one of ours." ...after the first, she never looked into the rest.
Even as Ren tries to reassure her, Makoto shrinks in a little more. "Something like that," she murmurs. "Like I said, I don't really... remember. I was away from school for a few days, and when I got back we had a substitute homeroom teacher. It took months before I could even sleep on my own. It's... been a few years since I had an episode like that one. I thought I was doing better." After all, she's... usually handling Mementos just fine, and she can still go to the movies and things like that!
But usually those aren't places where things are pitch black, there's some light- and in Mementos, she has the power to fight.
"But... then something like this happens and I'm just... back to that kid who can't sleep without a nightlight, hoping her sister will come save her."
And even though Ren tries to reassure Makoto that it's not stupid, Makoto doesn't seem to agree, instead pulling her chair back from the table a bit so she can bow in apology. "...I'm sorry. I was a liability and I should have given you some warning." When she looks up, however, she's still avoiding Ren's eyes. "And... thanks for not laughing. We don't have to... tell everyone, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Ah, Makoto utters, and Ren keeps their expression as is, but inside, they frown. That's a sound like she doesn't believe them. It doesn't give them much else to go on, though, so they let it be for now.
The overall story does put things into context, though. Makoto did get incredibly reckless after Ann called her useless...
For all their attempts to reassure her, though, it's clear it's not working. She's only shrinking into herself more. Based on her story, it sure sounds like the teacher who was supposed to be watching her got punished for their negligence, but it also doesn't sound like that makes Makoto feel any better. Knowing her, she might even feel bad about causing the incident.
And either way, it sounds like she's ashamed of having this phobia. Like she feels she should've gotten over it years ago.
They sit up straight when she gets up and bows to apologize. I was a liability... They want to reassure her on that, and start to raise a hand to dismiss her apology, but looking at it objectively, she... kind of was. It does her a disservice to say otherwise. They lower their hand back to their lap.
"You're welcome. We don't, though I bet Tsubasa and Ichika are worried about you. I'll leave that to your discretion, though," they say quietly. If those two don't ask--even if they do ask--she doesn't need to tell. "Can I ask you something, though? You said it's been years since you last had an episode. What made this time so bad? You must not have expected it yourself either, or else you would have warned us, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
One might almost start to expect that Makoto has issues with her own self worth at this point.
Indeed, for all Makoto is great at playing a put together adult, the survival skills she developed to this point are only serving to hurt, rather than help.
Indeed, for a moment it seems like she's ready to counterargue Ren if she tries to argue that Makoto wasn't a liability- and indeed, she seems relieved when Ren doesn't fight her on that.
"... Right." Ichika and Tsubasa were there too- but she'll cross that bridge when she comes to it. "I'll think about what I'll tell them."
On the other hand Ren asks a question that forces Makoto to think about it.
"I guess... I don't think I've had one since Dad died." Makoto says, after a few moments. "Though..." A few things sort of clicked. "Sis made the decision to sell our old house, since she'd only just graduated and had started work, and I was struggling to manage it on my own." There might be some old, rusty gears trying to turn there, but Makoto pushes on unaware. "She decided to buy this place since it was close to her job, but she was as only looking at new apartments at the time. And it's not like Shinjuku ever gets pitch black." Makoto doesn't know that that may be a sore point for Ren. "There hasn't been an outage here outside of, well... Last year."
And no one could blame anyone for struggling during the Tohoku earthquake, could they?
But talking it through makes Makoto realise something.
"...I have had an attack more recently than that, though. Just. Other things happened that it fell to the back of my mind." Makoto grimaces. "It was during the first Dark Hour, the night after we went into Kaneshiro's palace the first time. I just... I've been okay on other nights, so I thought it was just a one off because I was exhausted, and I snapped out of it pretty quickly."
There's another pause.
"But in the Dark Hour, I'm not just Makoto, am I?" She has the armour of her heart, she has Johanna.
"...in Sakura-san's house, I didn't have my persona. And I guess... If Personas and the Metaverse exist, maybe everything that goes bump in the night does too."
...at least, that's the theory Makoto has reached. There's another, simpler one that's beyond her Understanding.
The simple realisation that the numbness that she had been living with for the last three years was ripped off with her mask- and underneath it are the raw nerves and bloody tissue that's never been addressed.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
It is a bit of a sore point, but not that much of one on the whole. The lack of stars is the one thing Ren doesn't like about the city, but if it ever gets that bad, they know where the planetarium is. Ren nods once.
The Tohoku earthquake was a big one. Ren could understand someone not noticing a panic attack over the dark with everything else to be panicking over.
They rest a hand on their chin when Makoto mentions her first Dark Hour. It's true; she's not just Makoto in the Dark Hour, but in Sojiro's house, she was. Persona Users should be able to summon their Personas in places where 'everything that goes bump in the night' exist, but it's not like they know all the rules of the supernatural, do they? Maybe there are some places and circumstances where that's not true. Not knowing that for certain, it does make sense that Makoto might have fallen apart.
But there's also the fact that her dad had died, and they'd moved to a new place--this place. Ren takes another look around the apartment. It's big, but not as big as a house would be--and as she says, very modern.
"Maybe living here has distanced you from your past," they think aloud. "Sojiro-san's house is, well... a house." They look back at her, dark eyes serious. "Maybe it reminded you of the old days in a way your own home doesn't. Is that anything?"
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
Makoto takes a few moments to mull over Ren's suggestion.
"...Maybe," Makoto responds, but she doesn't sound particularly convinced. "It's possible, but..."
There's a long pause, though, as something sparks in Makoto's mind, a thought she wouldn't have had alone.
"You think that maybe it's because my Mom and Dad never lived here?" Makoto doesn't know much about ghosts, to be honest, if they're real at all. But the idea that their memories were tied to the location, or maybe the shape of the location...
"Kind of Iike how we need a location for a palace, because of how they associate themselves with that location? Something like that?"
With that, maybe Ren's theory might have some legs.
Still...
"I think you're the first person I've ever talked to about this, outside of Sis." Makoto says, after a few more moments.
"I... guess I've never really felt comfortable talking about this with anyone, worrying what they'd think of me. Even when I told Haru I could get uncomfortable in the dark..."
She undersold it, and attributed most of her reaction to the movie.
And Tsubasa- Makoto's middle school best friend- had no idea that Makoto would react that way.
So what does it mean that Ren is the first friend she's ever felt safe talking to about this?
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
At first, it seems like it isn't something--but then a thought seems to occur to Makoto, and she takes Ren's suggestion to a logical conclusion. If her fear of ghosts and the dark is rooted in a desire to see her dead mother again that went horribly wrong...
"Sounds like it could be something after all," Ren replies. "I wasn't thinking that specifically, but if it feels right to you, then yeah. So if your mom and dad never lived here, then you don't have any memories you could associate with them here that might set off your phobia."
Maybe ghosts are real and maybe they aren't, but Ren is not going to suggest to Makoto that her parents might be haunting her.
But then Makoto admits they're the first friend they've talked to about this. Not Haru, not Tsubasa--them. Their eyes widen a little. They're... touched, honestly. Maybe it's just because it was their arm, and then leg, that she clung to, so she feels obligated to explain, but... still.
They duck their head. They should... reciprocate, right? And there is one thing that's on their mind right now...
"I guess we're similar in that respect. We don't like to talk about the things that hurt us," Ren says quietly, looking back up at her. "Though my reasons are a little different. I don't really care about what other people think of me, most of the time, I just... tend to assume they don't want to hear it? ...That sounds bad. I mean more..." Their lips purse. "Like right now. I'm sort of dancing around it, but it sort of knee-jerk feels wrong to... because you're going through something, and we're talking about that, and me bringing something up about myself feels like I'm making it about me..."
Irritation flashes over their features, and they scratch the side of their head vigorously. Just say it, they tell themself. Dithering makes it worse. "In short, Minako and I broke up. I know that's got nothing to do with you, but you shared with me, so--I wanted to share back."
They look away. Then they shake their head a little and look back again, eyes melancholy. "...Anyway. I won't tell you your phobia's fine as is, because it was extreme. I was pretty shocked. But is there anything you want to do about it right now to try to overcome it? I'm happy to help if I can, but if you're not ready for that..."
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
"It would make sense," Makoto says, considering it. It's not like she willingly puts herself into situations to test it or anything- but that was before she had other people relying on her. It is a good thing that Ren doesn't suggest that Makoto is haunted, though. It's not the sort of thought she'd take well to.
Still, she blinks a bit when Ren mentions that they're similar. Given what Ren told her about her old best friend... it makes sense, doesn't it? If talking about the good things led to jealousy, then talking about the bad things, well...
Tentatively, Makoto extends a hand across the table to Ren, attempting a simple comforting gesture of putting her hand on Ren's, if she'll let her. "Hey, we're friends, right? And a team? You've just been talking me through my problems, that doesn't just go one way."
Makoto can tell the way Ren is struggling to even bring it up, and she simply leaves space for Ren to try and say what she needs to say.
"...I'm really sorry, Ren," Makoto says, and just like when she told Ren she was happy for them, she means it this time too. Even if Makoto's not sure it has nothing to do with her- she helped cause those rumours with her behaviour, after all- she's actually able to be there for Ren in return. "Do you want to talk about it some more? I'm ready to listen if you need it." She wouldn't blame Ren for wanting to just say it and move on, but it's pretty clear they're not feeling great about it.
And... Makoto doesn't really want to leave her dealing with her own bad feelings, after all Ren's done to help Makoto.
She does take a few moments to consider something, though, when Ren asks if there's something she wants to do about it. It's not... something she could really ask Sis for help with, she's already doing so much to keep them both afloat, and Makoto doesn't want to be even more of a burden. Still...
Ren was who she found herself asking for help when she was too scared to walk. Maybe...
"I... might have an idea. It's kind of silly, though."
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
It wasn't great either way. That ex-best friend had his good points too, or else that friendship wouldn't have lasted ten years, but it was a complicated relationship to say the least--and Ren, being one to keep others' secrets, won't be sharing that much.
But they can share about themself, at least. When Makoto reaches over to rest her hand on theirs, they blink up at her. She doesn't pull her hand away--either of them--and it brings a soft smile to Ren's lips. "...Thanks. I know that, of course. It's just... hard to internalize sometimes."
They're unsure on if they should hold her hand back, though. Would that be weird? But then Makoto is as sincere as her name, and they decide to tentatively turn their hand over, if just for a moment. "...Yeah. Just a little."
They take a deep breath as they slide their hand back. "...So, the short version is that it turns out Minako's a Persona User. She's with that group with the red armbands." Like Yukari, and Akihiko. That was something they'd noticed, even. How did they not put two and two together? "She considers Personas and the supernatural to be something she has to keep secret from 'normal' people like me, and it was tearing her apart to have to lie to me about her 'extracurriculars.'" They look away. "...Obviously, I don't consider that an issue, but... it's not like I could tell her why. If she feels that guilty about it, it would be wrong to try to convince her otherwise when I'm not willing to tell her the truth about me. So... we agreed to break up."
They look back at Makoto. "I'll tell the team about this too, once I'm ready... It affects us, after all. But I don't plan on spreading this around beyond that. It's not my place to spread this around." They rub the back of their neck. "We're still friends, at least. We were before, and we also agreed that much doesn't have to end. So... it could be a lot worse."
But judging by their subdued tone, it's still something they're sad about. Ren and Minako were dating for a solid two and a half months; it'd be weird not to be sad about it.
When Makoto tentatively posits she has an idea, maybe, Ren looks at her with curious eyes. They'd really like to know what she'd consider 'silly.' "Yeah? Let's hear it."
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
"...that might be something else we have in common," Makoto says, quietly. "It's kind of like it's hard to rely on others, like you don't want to be a burden?" It's definitely a question, Makoto's making a guess rather than knowing for sure. "...Especially when you feel responsible for them too."
Ren's the leader, and Makoto's her 2IC. On the one hand, if there's anyone Ren really should rely on, it's her- and maybe that's a reason why it's hard? Or is she just guessing at that too.
When Ren flips her hand over, Makoto does give it a little squeeze- just a comforting gesture between friends, right? But when Ren does pull back, Makoto does too. She's not going to make them uncomfortable.
Still, Makoto does gasp when Ren mentions the main reason for the breakup. "No way..." Arisato-san is part of another Persona using group- a group that they've made contact with before. "...Mmm. They were in Kaneshiro and Kamiya's palaces, and we worked with some of them in Motojima-san's... atelier? They seem... pretty serious about it."
Still, that's a tangent, and Makoto does seem worried when Ren turns away, as they explain more. "...you can't exactly tell her, can you? We have to keep it a secret... That must have been really hard." It's hard enough keeping secrets from Sae... or, indeed, secrets from the other Phantom Thieves. So such a core secret...
It might be more isolating than Makoto had considered.
"...I'm sorry. That must be really tough on both of you." That's the best she can offer. "I don't know that much about about this sort of thing but... I can't imagine how hard it would be trying to date someone while having to hide our own... extracurriculars from them. The idea that you might run into them into Mementos and have to pretend..."
Still, Ren is definitely still feeling broken up. "Of course. I won't say anything until you're ready. I'll follow your lead." Like always. She can be counted on to do that.
...Maybe doing something will help Ren, in that case. It often helps Makoto when she's feeling down. "...Well, um..." Makoto pauses. "I... think until Futaba-chan approached us, I was doing better with other people around. So..." She does look a touch embarrassed. "Well. Maybe if I went into somewhere dark with you, maybe I could. Find out if I react differently than I do alone, I guess?"
No, Makoto does not know she's independently innovated an idea many highschoolers call 'Seven minutes in Heaven'.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Just a comforting gesture between friends, yes. But it does feel really nice, in the moment.
"...Yeah." Ren considers this further. It was sort of default that way in their hometown since they were the mayor's child, though it was never something they examined that closely. Right now, though-- "I'm the leader." They smile a little. "Ann nominated me for that, you know, after we changed Kamoshida's heart. I didn't think too much about it at the time, but I've taken it to heart since." Their eyes steel with determination. "I don't want to let you guys down."
Which of course means that it's only that much more difficult to let on when they're having trouble, because they've got to be a rock for everyone else. If Minako hadn't been so hurt by the fact that she hadn't spread around the fact that the two of them were dating, Ren might have kept on with that; certainly there's things they're keeping from the team, at least until she's sure of the truth. She doesn't want to hurt the people she cares about either.
"Yeah," they say of the SEES presence in the Palaces. They didn't know about them being in Kazusa's Atelier, but they're not surprised to hear about it. They sigh instead. "Yeah. Exactly. I'm not going to say something that'll put you guys at risk." They'd told Kasumi they don't mind keeping those secrets, and that's the truth, but... it is isolating. "I'm a little amazed we haven't run into each other before now. Guess we got 'lucky.'"
They're glad that Makoto's so reliable, though. They believe her when she says she'll follow their lead. As Student Council President, no doubt she gets what it's like to be the leader who's responsible for others. Ren's eyes crinkle with fondness.
The idea itself, though... They blink twice, then hold their chin in thought. Their first mental image is a dark room rather than a dark closet, so they don't immediately get it. "That doesn't sound so silly. Exposure therapy's a thing. Yeah, we can do that." As they stand up, they offer her their hand (because it's just a comforting gesture between friends) and add, "Is there a room in this apartment that gets that dark?" Maybe the bathroom, if it doesn't have a window?
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
Makoto didn't realize why Ren was the leader, but Ann nominating her... Well. "She made a good call," Makoto says, and it's very clear she means it. She is unfailingly earnest- especially with Ren. "That doesn't mean you have to carry everything on your shoulders, though. We all have our strengths and weaknesses- you're not letting us down by using them. That's the leaders job." She smiles. "...I really appreciate you taking it seriously, though."
'Lucky', huh. That's a word for it. Still... "I don't think there's a good way to find out about that sort of thing. Either she tells you, or you find out she's keeping a secret, and then you're keeping yours. I'm really sorry it worked out that way."
She wishes she could offer better support in this moment, but... well. Ren has so much more experience than she does in this sort of thing. In lots of things, honestly...
"...The bathroom could definitely work as a first step," she says, after a moment. "It... should be in a good enough state for visitors." Ah, yes, Makoto does seem very fastidious on keeping up a nice home. "...Yeah. We could try that." It's more open, not as enclosed as the Sakura's hallway, but maybe that's what makes it a good test.
"Did you... want to try now?" She asks, a little cautiously? Ren said she'd help, but Makoto was springing this on her. On the other hand, where else will they have an opportunity? LeBlanc?
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
"...You're right, of course. I've said as much to you too," Ren replies. "I ought to tell myself that sometimes too, huh?" They smile back. "Glad you're here to tell me instead."
As for taking it seriously-- "Of course. We exist because no one else could help us. Paying it forward is part of our Justice."
That's something they believe in, heart and soul. It does have its drawbacks, though--such as the part where they have to keep their identities a secret, even if it means lying to loved ones. Ren sighs. "...Yeah."
Maybe the next time they date someone, it'd be better for it to be someone who already knows their secret, they reflect.
They're sure the bathroom is in a fine state for visitors, considering the state of the rest of the apartment. They nod once--but at the note of caution in her voice, they reply, "Unless you're not ready for it? I'm just fine."
Once Makoto has gathered her will, they'll follow her wherever she leads them, and let her be the one to turn out the lights--or direct them to do so once she's ready.
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
Makoto can't help but laugh a little at that. "What is it they say about birds of a feather?" Makoto says, amusement in her voice. "It feels like we're having a lot of these moments lately. Half the time I'm surprised that you're younger than me." Ren is really... a much more worldly person than she is. It's something she can learn from. "But I can be a good senpai sometimes, too."
It's hard not to see the way Makoto's eyes light up when Ren talks of Justice. "...Yeah. Justice isn't Justice if we only want it for ourselves. Justice needs to be something we can get for those who can't get it themselves." In that, too, Makoto's heart is aligned.
Makoto can only give Ren an attempt at a comforting smile. It sucks, and there's not really anything more she can do to help. Sometimes you just have to deal with things sucking and being sad about it.
"N-No, I'm..." Makoto pauses, realizing she's instinctively going straight to denial. No. She has to be honest about it, for once. "...I'm a little scared. But if I don't try and work on it, it could cause everyone more troubles down the line. Let's... let's try it."
Makoto leads the way, though once they're in there, and Makoto is ready to turn off the light, Makoto falters for a moment. "...would it be okay if you held my hand?" Makoto asks, offering Ren her right while her left hovers over the light switch. "I... I think it might help." And maybe stop her grabbing on to the first part of Ren she can grab.
After a moment, though, Makoto moves for the light switch, takes a deep breath, and flicks it off.
It's not pitch black in here, but the light from the hallway doesn't do much to illuminate the darkness. Makoto's grip on Ren tightens, and it's clear she's holding her breath and doing her best to keep from trembling. It's a far cry from the complete meltdown she had at the Sakura house though.
"...Ren. You're... definitely still here, right?" Yeah... Makoto definitely still sounds scared- and the fact that she's holding on to Ren's hand not being confirmation enough might be worrying. But it's not as bad.
She just. Needs to give herself enough time for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She can manage that. Surely she can manage that.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
Ren laughs a little along with her. They love all of their friends in the Phantom Thieves, of course, but she's right about these moments. "One of these days I'll tell you about my family issues. It'll probably explain a lot about me." As little as they like it, they do see where they get certain traits of theirs from their mother and father.
But right now, they're just happy that they are so spiritually aligned with Makoto, up to and including that sparkle in her eye about Justice and her eloquent response thereof. "Exactly."
That smile is comforting. Sometimes, being a good senpai simply means caring enough to reach out.
Their own smile fades as Makoto begins to shy back into her fear. However, she's one who's awakened to her Persona; she knows herself far better now than she did when they first met. (It's funny to think how different their relationship is now compared to when they first met, huh?) They nod once, decisively.
She asks if the two can hold hands. Without a word, Ren reaches out and takes hers in their own with a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
The lights go out. Makoto squeezes back, though not in the same way. It is a little worrying that she feels the need to ask if they're still there when they're still holding hands, but-- "Yeah." They step closer, offering her the comfort of their presence. "I'm right here, Makoto. You're not alone."
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
Family issues, huh. "Sure. Whenever you're ready." That might be a rough conversation, but it's also a sign of the trust Ren has in Makoto, trust she wants to reciprocate. She's had friends before but there's something... different, with Ren. There's stuff she'd never trusted a friend with before, never felt safe enough to talk about.
Has she ever had feelings like this for someone else?
It's a sign of how bad that fear is for Makoto, how devastating that one incident was for her. But the fact that she's prepared to find a way to fight it is already a strength she didn't have before. She's not even sure she'd have the strength to do it on her own, but with Ren there... It's like...
She's found an anchor she never knew she needed.
The wordless grasp means so much. No mocking, no teasing, just the knowledge that it's needed, and given freely.
And as Ren steps closer, speaking, Makoto does feel comforted. She moves a little closer against them too. It's... it's easier.
"Thanks."
She does slowly seem to relax, and she manages to stop closing her eyes- but at about ten minutes, she starts to shake again. It would take longer than that for her eyes to adjust...
But... this is longer than she's managed before. And Ren won't judge her if she has to stop now. She won't tease her for hitting her limits.
"I think this is about as long as I can manage," Makoto says, her voice strained- but not the wild panic she had before. It's a little bit easier, this time. Just a bit. "I'm... gonna turn on the light in three... two... one..."
Hopefully she's given them both enough warning as she hits the light switch and the room lights up again. She's still a little shaky, and she's quite close to Ren. Her heart is still racing a bit, even. She even... feels a touch flushed. "Thank you, Ren," she says again, earnestly as she looks up at them.
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
The family issues are at least something Ren's broken the seal on already; it's easier to bring it up, much less offer to discuss at some point, after having discussed it with a couple people already. This is a promise of a discussion to provide context, though. It feels a little different that way, somehow.
Maybe it's just because of how the mood's been subtly shifting through this conversation... They cared a lot about Minako, and still do--they only didn't tell her they loved her because they don't think those are words one should use lightly. If the inability to be fully honest is what split them up, then Ren really does want to be with someone they can be open with--like Makoto.
When the two of them are in the bathroom together, they likewise feel Makoto draw closer to them in turn. They're surprised to find they instinctively want to wrap their free arm around her. They don't--it feels like it would be taking advantage of her--but it's a thought that sticks with them for all ten minutes of standing quietly, hand-in-hand, in the dark.
"You did great," they reassure her with quiet warmth. Ten minutes saying and doing nothing is a very long time, especially steeped in one's fear. She might be shaking, but they're proud of her, genuinely. They shut their eyes when she turns on the light; after a moment of the light burning through their eyelids, they crack them open and gaze back down at her.
She is quite close. They can feel their own face grow warm. With her cheeks red like that, honestly, she's really cute...
...
...oh.
Maybe those rumors didn't start out of malice or boredom after all. Maybe... everyone else was seeing something the two of them weren't.
"You're welcome, Makoto," they murmur back. They glance over at their hands, still clasped. Maybe this isn't the best time, but... something in them wants to say something now, instead of holding back or waiting.
Well. Almost now.
"I need to make a private phone call real quick. Once I'm done, though, I want to ask you something important. Is that okay?" they wonder. If Makoto acquiesces, they'll remain in the bathroom and let her leave, then make a call to a certain someone.
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
It might have been, honestly- and Makoto would probably respect that self control if she knew. ...not that the arm would have been unwelcome, in that situation, either. It probably would have been comforting.
Ren's quiet warmth, however, is something badly needed. They're still close, and Makoto's eyes have taken a little bit to adjust back to the sudden light. She. She definitely feels flushed and Ren is, well...
There's a lot of feelings Makoto has about Ren, but safe, reliable and trustworthy are all big ones. How long has it felt since she felt anything like this? Especially about, well...
And they're still holding hands. Makoto... doesn't want to let go. And that... pride Ren has for her, that affirmation... it's comforting in ways she can't quite find the words for.
She notices Ren looking down, briefly- and notices, and looks back up- but neither of them have moved away from each other, have they?
"...O-oh, right. Sure, no problem." Makoto stammers briefly- but. These things happen, and they've been studying for a while. Maybe Ren needs to contact one of his jobs or something. "I'll be right outside in the dining area when you're done."
Slowly, she releases Ren's hand and steps out. "I'll give you a few minutes."
Walking back, Makoto makes her way back to the main room of the apartment, and she sits back down at the dining table. Her heart is still racing a bit. But she's in the light. She's not trapped. She has control.
So then if she isn't afraid... What is she?
Well, she'll have a few minutes to try and process her feelings, and work out why she's feeling like this. It's... a good feeling though, isn't it?
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
It doesn't take long for Ren to wrap up her phone call. Once it's done, they'll leave the bathroom with resolve.
Finding Makoto after that is a simple matter; naturally she'd head back to the dining room table where they'd been studying. Neither of them had moved away a moment ago, up until Ren asked for a moment of space to confirm what they needed to confirm. That's another part of all this that gives Ren the confidence to move forward.
Ren stands in front of her with shoulders square and heart pounding. Sure, they broke up with Minako only yesterday, but when you know, you know, right? No need to hesitate. Hesitating didn't make anything better at all, last time.
"Makoto, I know this might not be the right time with midterms coming up, but... I want to say this while we're still in the moment." Or close to it, anyway. They do at least pause a second to breathe and collect their thoughts.
"You and I do have a lot in common, and we have been getting closer since you joined the team. I trust you a lot, and I know you feel the same about me. The rumors that've been going around about us have been annoying, but just now in the bathroom, I was thinking... maybe they're not baseless after all. Maybe, for once, our schoolmates have been seeing something we were too close to see for ourselves."
They reach for her hands and, should she let them, gently take them into her own, her dark eyes locked on her red.
"Makoto... would you like to go out with me?"
<Pose Tracker> Makoto Niijima has posed.
When Ren comes out, Makoto does turn to face her as she hears her coming down the hall- though she's caught by surprise when Ren, instead of returning to her seat, turns to her standing up. "Ren?"
But when Ren starts talking, she's a little unsure where the conversation is going- she's never had someone approach her like this.
But even she can tell that this is something Ren had to work up to, so she listens, eyes on Ren's face. She doesn't interrupt, she just gives her space to speak.
Ren takes both her hands, and Makoto doesn't stop her. It's nice, honestly, even if she's not sure where Ren's going- even though she just spoke about the classmates rumours. Well... they are both quite close now...
And yet her eyes go wide at the question. Is she... Is Ren really...?
"...You're serious?" Makoto's question is earnest, she's making sure Ren means it- she's never been asked out, not seriously. Even Akechi was surprised to find she'd never been asked out. And that makes Ren the first to ever...
And it's Ren. Ren can be standoffish when she doesn't like you, or a bit distant- but unserious? That's one thing she can't believe to be true. And for Ren to ask...
At no point as Makoto considers her answer does she pull away from Ren's hands, She doesn't do anything to drive them away. She doesn't even notice the blush on her face, looking up at her friend and leader.
She doesn't actually wait for Ren to answer her initial question, even if she had asked it.
"...I... I think I would, Ren. I'd like that a lot."
<Pose Tracker> Ren Amamiya has posed.
It's not shocking to see Makoto's surprise. It is abrupt, and Makoto, with all love, is bad at social situations. This isn't Ren's first time asking someone out or being asked out, nor do they know specifically that Makoto's never been asked out before, but they can appreciate the magic of one's firsts all the same.
She nods once when Makoto asks if she's serious. That's all the answer that's needed, in their opinion. They do have a sense of humor, but this isn't something they'd do as a joke.
When Makoto accepts, their lips part into a broad, relieved smile.
"I'm really glad," they murmur, eyes crinkling. That smile upgrades into a grin, and now they let go of her hands to take their seat opposite her. "Then we'd better crack these books open again," they say with affection. "I don't want to embarrass you with my grades."
(He actually needs to worry about embarrassing her with his looks, but that's a problem for a double date well into the future.)