2026-03-29: A Flower For Your Thoughts
- Log: A Flower For Your Thoughts
- Cast: Jun Kashihara, Umie Akabane
- Where: Ebisu Beach, Konan Ward. Sumaru City
- OOC Date: March 29, 2026
- IC Date: October 17, 2012
- Summary: Meeting up the day after the events of The Lion's Roar at Ebisu Beach, Jun asks Umie about her connection to Tatsuya Suou, and, looking for advice, eventually reveals his feelings for Tatsuya Suou. While Umie still keeps some secrets close, her encouragement towards Jun is a completely different matter.'
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
The autumn waves lap quietly on the shores of Ebisu Beach. One can see the burnt wreckage of the Aerospace Museum easily from here--smell it, too. It was only yesterday that it was destroyed, after all.
Jun quietly watches it from the sand where he stands. It's after school--midterms were not canceled, though make-ups were assigned for those who missed them yesterday--and his uniform has been washed and dried and pressed, but he's still quite exhausted from what happened yesterday. It's just fortunate that he's so consistent with his studies; even if his grades dip as a result of this, he'll still make top ten if not top, period.
That's not really on his mind, though. Not right now. That instead is the meeting that Umie agreed to after he reached out to her by phone after everyone split up for the night yesterday. Jun doesn't know how many people he can talk to about Tatsuya, but... she'd given him her phone number before and encouraged him to reach out to her if he needed help.
This is something he needs help on, though it probably isn't what Umie had meant. Given the familiarity with which she calls him 'Takkun,' Jun hopes she can help him anyway.
Somewhere overhead, seagulls cry as they wing past...
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
If there was ever a reason Umie gave her phone number to anyone at all, it'd be for moments like these.
But for Jun especially, there are things she may be able to help with, on many fronts, even if it's just to listen.
With her usual windbreaker burnt, the distinctive pale grey has been replaced by a pink zip-up jacket, rippling against the ocean wind as she walks to join Jun.
"Kashihara-kun." With none of yesterday's adrenaline spiking her general mood, Umie's tone shares a little of the tiredness Jun feels. Nothing in that face suggests she feels put upon by Jun's request, however.
First things first. "How are you holding up?" She tucks a blonde hair behind one ear. Her usual red charm bracelet chimes on her left wrist with the motion, hanging over the cloth that covers both wrists. Now that cooler weather is here, it may not even register as unusual, to anyone.
Granting Jun a lopsided grin, Umie notes, "Nasty time to have something like this happen, with midterms and all. But... I suppose it can't be helped."
All there is is the sound of the waves, and the laughter of seagulls.
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
At the sound of her approach, soft footfalls on the sand, Jun turns to face Umie. She might or might not notice that his school uniform's breast pocket is empty--bereft of the yellow iris he usually keeps there. He doesn't have the lilac he'd been using as a weapon recently either, but that he left behind on the zeppelin. A flower for Sudou's grave.
Ironic, that, considering how much he hated him. That's something else to talk about--maybe to Umie, maybe to someone else. Jun will have to see how far along they get on the topic of Tatsuya first. One trauma at a time.
"Oh... I could certainly be better. But I could also be worse," he replies, brushing his long side bangs back. He nods assent when she remarks on the timing of midterms; that's one reason why it could be better. "Thank you for coming out here on such short notice, Akabane-san. I'm sure you've got things you're wrapped up with too. I hope you're holding up all right, too." He pauses. "Pardon me for jumping straight to the point, but I wanted to ask... you're fairly close to Tatsuya, aren't you? You called him 'Takkun.' I can't imagine he'd accept a nickname like that from a stranger or someone he disliked... How well do you know him and what he's going through right now?"
And--by proxy--how much does she know about him and the connection he had--has--with the two Tatsuyas? But Jun doesn't ask that one outright.
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
Umie notes the lack of flower in Jun's pocket. Perhaps, there was a meaning to a lack of a flower, as well? Or, maybe, Sudou's last words made an association Jun was getting over.
Or maybe, Jun's mentally exhausted.
It *is* ironic, given everything that Sudou put Jun through, that he was one of the first people to go to his side, along with Shinjiro.
And she, one of the last.
Umie's lips purse, but say nothing. One trauma at a time.
Nodding at Jun's answer, Umie says, "Good." With a wry smile, she adds, "You've been having to deal with a lot, so it's good to have a sense of humor about it." Well, as much as acknowledging 'could be better' is, anyway. "I don't mind. I was in the area anyway, looking for clues." The nature of the force behind the Joker Killer's booming words... but what is there to find?
How is Umie?
She grins, pleased as Jun jumps to the point.
Umie's lopsided grin turns a touch mischievous, for a moment. "I doubt he really accepted it either, at the time." Her face then relaxes to a more neutral mien. "I tutored him when he was a freshman. We had some friend circles in common, and it seemed like a good fit." She turns to regard the tide, her hands slipping into her pockets.
"He was a different person then. A little cocky, rebellious, hated his older brother. Not the person he is like, now." She frowns. "It may seem like I'm really close, but to tell you the truth, I lost touch about the time I graduated." Her eyelids lower slightly. "It was last June, when I happened to meet Katsuya-kun again, and he asked me to see if I could find Takkun."
"When I did manage to track Takkun down, it was clearly still him, but... he had a Persona, for one. Secondly, he didn't seem to remember me at all. Not that... we were best buddies, but..." She shakes her head and stops, in order to let Jun have a word.
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
Shinjiro was one of Sudou's first victims; Jun, one of his most recent. There's something there for the two of them to talk about at some point, but that too is for another day.
A sense of humor, huh... Jun supposes he did smile at her and Katsuya scolding Akechi for being so reckless. It really was a relief to see him alive and well, especially considering there was absolutely nothing Jun or anyone could do to help him. Jun respects his bravery, but honestly, doesn't he know there are people out there who care about him? ...But that's neither here nor there right now.
"Clues, hm..." Jun half-turns back towards the ocean, lapping at the shore. It's long since swallowed up the zeppelin whole. "Are there even any clues left to find at this point...?"
Still, he's not going to tell her she shouldn't. The currents here do favor washing up on Ebisu Beach--something that no doubt helped get everyone to shore alive yesterday. He looks back at Umie and listens to her explanation. When she mentions that he was a 'different person,' he touches his chin in thought, eyebrows furrowed. So Tatsuya had a Persona by then, and like with Akechi, he didn't remember Umie...
"And when was the last time you saw him before this past June?" he wonders, lifting his face. Not knowing how old Umie is, he doesn't know how long ago she graduated.
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
That silly detective prince, thinking he could do that and no one would notice...! Who'd do such a stunt by themselves?
Ha ha ha... ha...
As Jun looks towards the grey blue-green of distant waves, Umie's lips mark the silence with a small sound.
And then, she speaks. "... There are. Just... not with Sudou anymore. You heard that voice, after all... the fear's been spread." She shifts from one bent leg to the other, the sand cracking beneath that foot. "I never paused to consider that was the point of all of it..."
What's next?
Umie turns to Jun, her lips slanting at an angle that could be read as guilty, in certain light. "Just before my graduation, about... over a year ago." .... Ah, Jun is wondering just how old she is. "I was a senior, when he was a freshman."
"I'm a Scarlet Dragon, if that tells you anything," she notes, with a wry grin.
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
The fear's been spread... The Joker will never die... That was the message left behind in Tatsuya's voice, yet sounding so unlike him. Was that Sudou's intent? Or yet another manipulation by Nyarlathotep, the Voice(s) that had been pulling his strings? Impossible to say at this point. Jun nods slowly all the same. Umie's right.
"We should be cautious about any kind of rumors or news reports spread next about the Joker Killer. No doubt they'll take advantage of that fear to enact some new horror," Jun replies. "Though what anyone would want to do with that, I can't even fathom..."
Over a year ago... That would be in March, so just about a year and a half. And in that gap, Tatsuya changed completely. Based on what Akechi said, it seemed like he stopped coming to school at the start of the year, which closes the time frame further... Jun sighs and rubs his temples. Should he be thinking this over? There's something more important he should be asking about...
"Hm? Ah, Wang Long fortune-telling." Jun smiles. He's not as into that as he is astrology or other forms of fortune-telling, but it's so similar to astrology he's at least familiar with it. "Let me think--a Scarlet Dragon is born in April, yes? That means you must be either an Aries or a Taurus. Based on your bold, meddlesome personality, I'm guessing you're an Aries, born in early to mid-April."
Of course, that could just be because she's a Scarlet Dragon. But a Scarlet Dragon is basically the same as an Aries, all told.
"The reason I ask so much about Tatsuya is because... well..." Jun averts his eyes, smile fading. "You're aware that Sudou-san wanted me to help him bring about a 'correct' version of reality, yes? How much about that do you know...?"
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
Umie nods. "Right. Not only that, the Order may use it as well to their advantage." Ironic, for the only party to be directly named to be the one that shouldn't be referred to at all. However, the other, Nyarlathotep...
She should be used to it, the concept of 'the voices' and 'Him'. .... It should be obvious to her, who Mai-chan is. But...
She doesn't want to think about it.
She'd rather immerse herself in the weave of.... fortune-telling?
Umie grins smugly, lifting an index coral orange nail. "<Bing-o.> On both counts." Perhaps it's not so odd, for a person in Sumaru City, even one like Umie, to be into such things. "April 2nd, to be exact. Perhaps I would have had a different time of things, had I been born a day earlier... but I'm not so sure the moniker of an 'April Fool' suits me..."
But as much as Umie would like to play the cynic, perhaps she's as much of a fool as any, to want to bask in the innocent light of ignorance... rather than face the truth of things.
But for Jun... no, a fool is not what he needs, at all.
Her expression grows gentle.
"No, you deserve to know. Takkun and I worked together for a while, despite all that I said. We have certain things in common, and... I wanted to see him safe as anybody. But he holds onto this guilt he shouldn't have, for someone that must have Awakened recently. And his powers... he's one of the most powerful people I know."
A 'correct' version of reality. Umie breathes in, letting it out in a soft sigh. "... Yes. 'Correct', in his mind. For some reason, he and Takkun share that idea, but while Sudou wanted to achieve it, Takkun wanted to fight against it."
How much does Umie know?
"I know about the forces possibly behind that, but Takkun himself was tight-lipped. He saw me as..." She pauses, looking Jun over, then, eventually, she decides. "He saw me as much of a victim of all this as everyone else. He just didn't know where I fit in to all of this."
Yet, again, Umie hesitates. "Kashihara-kun, I'm going to be direct with you. The more you get involved in this, the more you may run the risk of being in danger by the Order. WIth Sudou gone, it may be possible that the threat of that won't be as overt, but... there's a reason why Takkun largely works alone. You saw that assassin; he was making a point, with his actions: we could be next."
"All it takes is one of us being a little too inconvenient."
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
'He's holding onto this guilt he shouldn't have, for someone that must have Awakened recently'... Jun bows his head for a moment. A strength that surpasses what should be reasonable for the amount of time he's been Awakened--yes, Akechi said that too. And Umie's aware of the conflict that the two Tatsuyas had about the 'correct' reality. Jun raises his head again.
"So you're like Uchida-san. Tatsuya was," is?, "working with her too. I happened to run into him there once. All considered, I assume you also work with her..."
Jun touches his chin again. He saw Umie as a victim too, but didn't know how she fit in, despite having known her previously, and apparently quite well... It really is strange. With Akechi, he thought it might make sense; just because someone attends the same school as you doesn't mean you know who they are, even if they're popular. But Tatsuya apparently had a personal relationship with Umie.
But then Umie loops back around to the threat all of this poses. Jun's beautiful features turn grim as he looks back up at her. He doesn't know how the Order figures in to all of this either, especially if they were and are against both Tatsuyas, but the one in the Black Mask clearly was willing to kill all of them if they got in his way.
"I'm sure Tatsuya would prefer it if I didn't get involved. Unfortunately, fate keeps insisting on dragging me into things anyway," Jun says, tone resigned as he shrugs his shoulders. "At least now I have the power to protect myself and others." He bows his head. "But... let's set that aside for the moment. That's not what I wanted to discuss, anyway.
"...Akabane-san. One of Sudou-san's powers was to create an alternate pocket reality where things like Demons and Shadows could manifest." He looks back up at her. "What if this is a more minor version of what this Nyarlathotep can do--making an entire other reality, perhaps one where time moves differently? I..." He averts his eyes. "It's clear to me that I have some kind of connection with Tatsuya and Sudou-san, but I don't remember it. I have no intention of remembering it, either; I trust Tatsuya, and he opposed it.
"But... I have a feeling as though we shared such an alternate reality, somehow. This reality somehow came to an end, and I've forgotten it, but Tatsuya and Sudou-san remembered. Sudou-san was trying to... merge it, perhaps, with this one, while Tatsuya was trying to keep it separate. I'm not sure exactly why, but the way Sudou-san described my alternate self, Jun Kurosu..." He shudders. "I don't think it was a good place."
It's still a bit of a weak theory, in Jun's own mind. There's a lot of holes that he can't explain and that he will not try to explain. Argeiphontes may provide him some protection from this other reality, but he doesn't want to risk breaking that protection by delving too deeply into this. Still... it's an important piece of context to why he asked Umie to talk tonight. Because...
"Akabane-san. Please keep this strictly between us--especially don't tell Suou-san--but... I think... Tatsuya and I... had a relationship. While we were experiencing this alternate reality," Jun says quietly, color rising in his cheeks. "He protects me because he loved... maybe still loves... this other version of me. But that version of me doesn't exist anymore... so I'm not 'his' Jun. Not anymore. Possibly not ever." He looks away. "I already had the sense that any love between us wouldn't come to fruition. To think that it did blossom, only to wither because we exist a step apart... It--hurts."
Did Jun ask Umie out here for... supernaturally star-crossed love advice?
(He did.)
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
"Yeah," Umie confirms, on the subject of Tamaki. "We met through Takkun, actually. We're become good friends since then, since it's rare to find people with experience with Personas." That, and Tamaki has a harmonized outlook on life that carefully meters out the logic and emotion Umie's own lacks.
It's all rather strange, indeed, for many reasons. Umie's managed to come up with her own theories, but the picture Jun has isn't the complete one. So much of what ties her to Tatsuya is still vague, since, by pointing what lies in common between them, she gives another secret of Tatsuya's away.
There is also the grim matter of her leading someone further into a reality (no pun intended) that has dealt its fair share of scars on people like Tsubasa, Umie, and many others.
'Unfortunately, fate keeps insisting on dragging me into things anyway.' The blonde lets out a single cackle, her gaze breaking from that solemn mask to an impish sparkle. "You know, you *do* have a point there."
Wait, that wasn't what he needed to discuss?
Umie stills, nodding for him to continue. "Mind if I sit? I've been on my feet for hours."
.... well, regardless, she's sitting down now, taking off her jacket to reveal a thin red sweater underneath, the cuffs long enough to extend well over her wrists. Draping the jacket against the ground, she sits on it, letting out a huff.
It makes it easier to take in what Jun says next. For a moment, Umie is confused, placing hand next to her chin in thought.
..... Ah. "Technically...." No, that'll get him off topic. There's an importance in his words that Umie dare not budge off-course. She urges him on with a dip of her head. "... Keep going."
Jun Kurosu...
Junnosuke Kuroda.
She says nothing of this, simply nodding again to further encourage Jun on. "I promise, I won't tell Suou-san a thing."
And then.... ah.
So this is what it looks like...
... when someone is in love.
Given how her own heart has felt in Shiryuu's presence, and how, in spite of everything that should make her feel otherwise...
".... It does, doesn't it..." Her eyes take in Jun with a somber half-understanding, as well as a need to support that exceeds whatever simple similarities she finds. These are two different people, but the feeling of that chasm, and doubt...
"Maybe this is why it's just as painful for Takkun. He's fighting against something he'd technically want." She shoves aside her own theories of 'delusion' and 'rumor manipulation' aside. "... And, by feeling love for you, he'd further tie himself to a reality he doesn't feel like he belongs in."
She thinks. "But it was your love for him that made you seek a new direction, isn't it? One none of us even outlined as possible, or even thought of. Whether you're *his* Jun or not... I think his heart includes you too." But maybe... it's not about that, but the chasm itself. She'll let Jun have the next word.
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
That explains a lot. Tatsuya, for all that he's trying so desperately to fight all on his own, has a talent for bringing people together, doesn't he... Jun smiles warmly to think of it, which means he also smiles at Umie and Tamaki being good friends.
That smile broadens into a grin, however wry, when she bursts out into a cackle. "It sounds as though you have plenty of experience with the whims of fate yourself."
Umie asks to sit. "Oh--not at all," he replies, and indeed sits on the sand next to her. They're far enough from the surf to not get themselves wet, though they'll need to dust off their bottoms later.
'Technically...' "Hmm?" But Umie doesn't interrupt after all, and instead prompts him to keep going. "...This is of course only a hypothesis based on the information I have," he adds. "I don't know how close to the truth I am. Honestly, it's for the best that I'm not that close, and that I don't ever get that close."
He, too, has noticed the similarities between 'Jun Kurosu' and 'Junnosuke Kuroda.' Which implies that, on top of himself and the Tatsuyas, Maya Amano--Maihime Amano--might be involved in all of this somehow too...
But he really has no idea how or why that could be. If he doesn't, then he really shouldn't pursue that one. Maybe he should stop associating with her too, but she's such a wonderful person, and he feels so calm and happy in her company...
Regardless, Umie promises she'll keep this a secret. And soon enough, she understands what Jun is really trying to say.
He meets her eyes when she commiserates and suggests a possibility on Tatsuya's side. The red in his cheeks deepens, and he nods once on the matter of seeking a new direction.
Whether he's Tatsuya's Jun or not... He considers this as he hugs his knees to his chest, much like Umie had just yesterday. "I don't want to cause him any pain, though... If pursuing him will only hurt him, shouldn't I stay away? But it's not as though I only just realized this... Even knowing that, I still chased after him yesterday. If he appears again, I... don't know that I'll keep myself from chasing him. I-I don't think I want to."
It's a strange feeling for him too, knowing that he's in love. Knowing that this love must be far messier and more complicated than he has any way of knowing. Not knowing if Tatsuya could ever love him for himself as he is right now, for all that he does everything in his power to protect him. It can't help but make him gloomy.
"I hope... or rather, I'd hoped... we could at least be friends," he murmurs, gaze falling to his knees. "When we were evacuating the zeppelin, I told him I'd realized he must know a different version of me, and I offered him a gift as a token of my appreciation for everything he's done for me--and as my friendship, not as Jun Kurosu, but Jun Kashihara. He accepted it, but... he said he had nothing to offer in return."
A pause.
"...and then he pushed me off the blimp," he murmurs, eyelashes drooping.
So. Not a great sign for friendship or romance.
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
"You could say that," Umie admits, with a laugh. "It's been a lot more... interesting, these several months, but I appreciate the excitement." It's an understatement.
These months have been more valuable than any treasure, worth all the heartache she's gained in turn.
It's just easier to say that on this beach, when she's not staring into the void and how its range is far wider than she even imagined, as seen in people like Jun and Tatsuya.
(How long could she have hidden, anyway? Is it the Mark, or the stubborn bearer, that draws in trouble?)
She nods to invite Jun to sit down. "I think we're all stabbing around in the dark. Everything I have are just theories, I have to admit, and..." She gaze inexplicably moves to her covered right wrist.
How much have her own efforts contributed to this delusion?
"There's the events of this reality, and then there's the causes and forces behind it."
The waves crash on the shore. The wind rustles past loose hair and flips the edges of clothing.
"... The shrine I showed you, for example." .... Was she thinking about the same thing? "... It's possible that I..." It was just as much Tamaki's doing as it was Umie's, but regardless, Umie places herself in that question. "... Mmh."
It's too uncomfortable to poke at, just yet, and its relevance to Tatsuya would outline some secrets he needs to be the one to reveal, about himself.
Jun's pose is a posture Umie knows well, and as he assumes it, she ponders placing a hand on his shoulder.
Instead, she gives her ear, as before; that feels like the better choice, and the thing he wants the most. There's no context he has to waste time in explaining; she understands well enough, with what he's given.
"You seem more scared of your heart than you did when I mentioned the Order," she notes, quietly, with a tone that lacks any indication of it being humorous.
He wanted to at least be friends.
Yet Tatsuya...
"... That idiot... That stubborn stupid idiot, so determined to still take everything on himself..." she murmurs, softly, almost fondly, her own lashes lowering. "... Some guys really just are that way, when they find their hearts won't respond to their own hard logic."
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
"I admit, I appreciated the excitement far less when I couldn't stand up for myself against it. Considering how long you've had a Persona, though, I can see why you say that," Jun says with wry humor. His eyes follow hers to her covered wrist, but... he has no way to understand what it is she's staring at. "At least we have a bit more information now," he offers. "Though maybe it's as you say, and Sudou-san was simply deluded... but at the very least, Tatsuya believes in some of it too. It can't be all a delusion."
Though maybe that, too, is part of the delusion. Now that Jun's fallen down this rabbit hole, it'll be harder and harder to separate reality from the effects of Kotodama. How long had that shrine been there on Mt. Katatsumuri, despite possibly reflecting a false past?
But then Umie starts to say something. Jun waits for a moment, then prompts, "You...?"
Ultimately, though, she chooses not to speak. Jun's gaze is worried, but he lets her keep her silence--for now.
He wouldn't mind a comforting hand on his shoulder. A sympathetic ear is at least as good if not better, though. Thanks to that, she points out something that hadn't fully clicked for him until now.
"You're right," Jun realizes. "I suppose in some strange way, the Order feels more like fantasy than what I've gone through with Tatsuya and Sudou-san. They're like one of the conspiracy theories my father used to believe in. Ah, he still enjoys them, but as fiction rather than something he thinks is real," Jun adds, because that was a major sticking point in his parents' marital disputes back in the day. "Thanks to that, it hasn't really sunk in that there actually is some sort of shadowy organization pulling the strings of the government. It just feels too absurd, even compared to Demons and Shadows and Rumors coming to life."
He shakes his head. That's off-topic, at least from what he wanted to discuss. "Forgive me. I distracted myself. Maybe that's all I can do right now." He looks over at her as she curses Tatsuya. Something about the way she talks about 'some guys'... "Are you... also having romantic woes, Akabane-san?" Jun considers his own question, then quickly adds, "Never mind. It's none of my business."
He sighs. "I just don't know what to do." Crisscrossing his fingers, he holds them out. "Maybe fretting about that is pointless, though. Didn't I already admit I don't want to stop chasing him?" he admits to himself. "All I can do is keep moving forward and hope I'll see him again." He makes a face. "That feels so... passive, though. I wish there were more I could do."
But what can he do in regards to Tatsuya? His isn't exactly a heart to be won over.
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
It's a fair point: it's been so long that Umie *didn't* have a Persona that it's hard for her to understand what it's like to be someone that lacks one at all.
It's also hard to remember what it was like to live in a world that didn't have something seemingly plucking every discordant string just so: never enough to be constant, but just enough for Umie to remember, each time she noticed it.
"... It's..." Umie considers, wrapping her arms around her knees in a relaxed grip. "Delusion is simply my word to blot it all out: the coincidences, vague phrases becoming reality, connections that seem to hint at a greater whole, things like that. I'm no stranger to it."
How many times was she the string that was plucked, to sow chaos in new soil? One didn't have to be controlled, if they were tuned already, ahead of time.
"... By acknowledging it, I become a source of it. Maybe even the denial is the deception. I can never really know. But it's worth it to at least try."
That much, she'll say, to Jun's worried gaze.
It's not like she's felt the same, towards him. He's a gentle soul, but with a hidden resolve of steel; watching him clutch his head and struggle through the pain of trying not to remember, trusting in the warnings Tatsuya and others have given him... it was hard.
Hearing about Jun's parents brings a small smile to Umie's lips. "Your dad sounds like quite the character. Maybe that's why you're a little more prepared on how to compartmentalize it. At the end of the day, you still have everyday life. Whether the Order exists or not, the world keeps turning." It still hasn't sunken in for her, Umie thinks to herself. Some part of her always wants to be the one who subverts it all, to be the one who persists in spite of everything that's thrown at her.
Instead, she finds herself marveling at the people who manage to do so around her, seemingly without any effort at all.
Jun apologizes for getting off-topic; Umie laughs. "Don't be. Between your mom in the news and your dad, your parents sound sweet." Could she feel a little jealousy?
'Does the prodigal daughter really have to ask?' retorted the man in the Black Mask, merely a day ago. (... Was that jealousy, or merely a subtle show of his knowledge, without giving away another one of her secrets?)
'Are you... also having romantic woes, Akabane-san?'
She regards Jun with a twinkle in her eye and a curl of one end of her lips. "It's a complicated mess and it's better if you don't ask~" she replies, her tone singsong, "...but, I admit, it makes me understand a little of where you're coming from."
It's more important to Umie, in this moment, to give Jun an ear, especially when he may not have anyone else he could really mention this to.
"To love someone is scary, especially when doing so means you have to move forward. But, like you mentioned to me earlier, I think you're bound to keep showing up for one another. And along the way, you may discover things he needs to understand how to move forward, himself."
Sea spray coats the air, sent forth by a gust of wind winding its way from the waters beyond.
"Someone told me, that a bond is how a person is connected to the world, and through that bond, they are connected to the world." That person is Shiryuu, she reminds herself.
No one has to know. But what does need to be known is how important Jun's place may be, as passive as it may feel to him.
"Takkun is trying to take on everything without connecting to the world he's in. Eventually, it'll catch up to him; someone will need to be there to catch him so that he doesn't fall. Be it me, or Uchida-san, Mishina-kun, or anyone else he has some form of connection to, it's the only way he'll survive that curse that we all have-- the one that connects us to Sudou, and to the force that tries to use us."
"That's a part that isn't fair of me to reveal, and it's not one Takkun'll likely reveal himself, but if you connect the dots... you may understand it yourself, and why your own direction may be important."
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
Jun thinks he understands what Umie means by her explanation of 'delusion'--and not in a good way. It's a way of shutting her eyes and plugging her ears, of pulling the blankets over her head when her room looks scary at night. It hasn't been so long for Jun since childhood that he's forgotten how that feels, for all that he never really could ignore it. Indeed, one day he lost his temper and confronted it headlong, and that ended up changing the trajectory of his life for the much, much better.
"It's worth it to try pretending what's going on isn't real?" Jun thus asks, frowning. But it does sound like Umie is somewhere in between on the matter too, and maybe even has good cause, so he's actually sincere when he adds, "How is that working out for you?"
The mood does lighten when Umie compliments his father, though--or at least, Jun chooses to take it that way. "He's a passionate, intelligent man. No doubt you remember him from when you were a student at Sevens--Kashihara-sensei, the World History teacher."
It is true, though. He still has his everyday life--and his parents are sweet. Jun's smile warms at the compliment. "I love them both very much, and I'm glad we can all live happily together," he says. The week that he was kidnapped by Sudou put that in danger, but his mother and father accepted Katsuya's explanation, and they're moving forward too, if a bit more jittery than before. Jun's thankful that they both love him enough to worry about him and to give him space to live freely. Not everyone's so fortunate.
Something about the phrase the world keeps turning sits poorly by him, though. Just for a moment. Then his other self stirs within him, and Jun dismisses the thought.
Besides, Umie's admitting to romantic woes. Jun makes a small noise. "I won't ask, in that case--but if you ever feel like talking about it somewhere that I might happen to overhear, I wouldn't mind," he replies. He doesn't expect she will, but at least the offer is open.
To love someone is scary. Jun gazes back out at the ocean as the breeze tousles his black hair. Umie's description of bonds is quite poetic, and that helps comfort him. You don't need to chase after someone to be there for them. Sometimes, you can simply think warmly of them and accept the moments that your paths cross for what they are.
"I suppose I can't help Tatsuya by moping about and being clingy, either--not to mention how much I've been obsessing about 'Jun Kurosu' and the 'Other Side' since yesterday," he muses. "I promised him I wouldn't remember what I've forgotten. Argeiphontes represents the strength of that promise. What sort of friend would I be if I reneged just because I felt a little lonely?"
He huffs a little sigh all the same, but it's not so forlorn now. "I'll put those parts out of my mind again. Whatever Tatsuya thinks of me, or any other version of me, I know how I feel about him. I will support him, no matter what. He's done so much for me... It's the least I can do in return."
Jun can be secure in that much, at least... especially now that Argeiphontes protects him from the mass bulk of déjà vu.
Even so, he bows his head; shadows hide his one visible eye from view.
"...But... Akabane-san... do you think it's still all right to love someone who can't reciprocate...?"
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
'It's worth it to try pretending what's going on isn't real?' And, more pointedly... how exactly is it working for her?
".... Not great," Umie admits with a weary glance. "I'm never sure if, by acknowledging something, I'm just helping it come into being. Like that shrine. Was sharing that something I was primed into doing?"
But that is also saying too much, or, perhaps, placing the blame on something too eager to enable Umie's own flawed thoughts.
As Jun points out just who his father is, Umie's eyes widen slightly in recognition. She softly palms a partially covered hand to her forehead. "It was right in front of me the entire time. I never thought to connect the dots." Likely, because she'd never expect his son to go to Kagusayama High at the time, but that was a less worldly, experienced Umie Akabane.
It *does* bring up an important question. ".... Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Pause. No, asking someone *how* is not really relevant as much as: "... You know what? Screw that question. How has it been for you, in Kasugayama High?" There's plenty of people she knows that go to it, one of which is... oddly, her roommate. (But that's another story for another day~)
For all that outside forces have tried to ruin Jun's life, it brings Umie some comfort to see that Jun's home life hasn't been upended by it all. "I'm glad. Having to keep your Persona a secret, on top of everything else, is really rough, and you've had rudely intrude in on your regular life." She chuckles. "The worst I've ever had to explain away was an injury Trish couldn't heal." Or, well, wouldn't. It was hard to say, when that damn fairy jacked up her prices.
That moment Jun looks uncomfortable, Umie frowns, about to say something before it seems to pass.
Besides, Jun is already offering to hear her romantic woes, and Umie's cheeks briefly flush. "... N-no, I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy, right now." Especially right now...
"... But thank you, Kashihara-kun."
Even if Umie's relationship is held under wraps for Jun's own sanity (and safety, besides), that doesn't mean the fruits of it are held just as secret.
There's a fondness hidden in the words as she says them, like recounting a tender, precious moment.
"I don't really see you as clingy. You're going through your emotions too, right? It's probably just as new for him, navigating this situation." She gestures forward loosely, with a hand. "It's not like there's advice columns you could read for advice. 'The person I fell in love with is in love with another version of me'... It feels like a sci-fi movie." Her eyelashes lower. ".... a really romantic one, I admit."
Jun's resolution, meanwhile... It brings a soft smile. ".... There we go... that sounds like a proper direction to take."
But that question at the end, as he looks down...
".... I believe it is, if you are able to allow them the space to decide what their feelings are towards you, even if they may not come your way." Gently, she places a hand on Jun's shoulder. "It's worse to deny yourself that feeling, even if you feel heartbreak because of it. It's how we learn about ourselves." What was it, that Masao said? "To be our true mind."
<Pose Tracker> Jun Kashihara has posed.
"I suppose it's difficult at best when we live in a city where rumors can come true," Jun admits back. "You don't want to contribute to the phenomenon, but you should remember that you can't stop their spread all on your own. According to the Kuzunoha Detective Agency, a rumor needs to meet a certain threshold of people talking about it before it will come true. Sharing that shrine, by yourself, to just two people, shouldn't have an effect on anything." He pauses. "...Right?"
He is still new at this, and Umie has literal years of experience over him. Is she paranoid, or is he the one misunderstanding?
He laughs a little when she facepalms. "Just because we have the same name doesn't mean we're family necessarily," he agrees amiably. "In terms of my looks, I take after my mother much more than my father, so I understand your surprise." He patiently waits for her to express her confusion about his school, a slight, amused smile on his lips. "It's been just fine, thank you. I admit it was hard at first--I did get bullied in my first year--but I learned a few moves that allowed me to gain others' respect. It's a fascinating school, really. I've learned so much more there than I would have at a more 'respectable' place like Seven Sisters--which is precisely why I chose to attend there."
Obviously with his grades, and a much more loving and supporting upbringing with a father who teaches there, he would have made the Seven Sisters entrance exams easy. For someone who had an interest in potentially becoming a teacher like his father, though, the more troubled youth of Kasugayama have provided a unique set of lessons. It's thanks to that that Jun has locked in on that life path as of this school year.
Keeping secrets from his parents is hard, though. Regret flits across Jun's expression. He only nods, though. "At least now you're an adult living on your own. I imagine that makes it much easier to handle your business," he remarks.
Sure enough, Umie turns down his offer. That's an interesting way of phrasing it. Still, he accepts her response with a nod. It's not as though he has any advice he could offer in return, anyway... He's the one coming to her for help.
And... she does help. She affirms his feelings and reassures his insecurities while pointing out that this is not exactly something he could look up on the internet for an answer. "I don't know for sure that he loves any version of me. It just feels that way to me, and I'm hardly unbiased," he murmurs, averting his eyes as he brushes his bangs back. "It could simply be wishful thinking."
After all, even if it hurts to think that Tatsuya only loves Jun 'Kurosu,' in some ways, isn't it sweeter to believe he loves a version of him rather than none at all? Just as Umie says: it's a very romantic sci-fi concept. Jun's eyelashes flutter closed.
He has his resolve now, after getting a chance to talk through his feelings and get them out in the air. But is it really good to decide to love someone who isn't going to love him back, either way?
He looks over at Umie as she touches his shoulder. It's a comfort--almost as much as her words. His expression gentles as he smiles. "...Yes. You're right. This is my true mind. It may hurt, but there's no shame in that."
Slipping his hands to his sides, Jun leans forward to rise to his feet. "Thank you for coming out here to speak with me, Akabane-san. I feel a lot better now." He gestures towards the Seaside Mall, within easy view of the beach. "Would you like to get something to eat at the Jolly Roger? My treat." His smile broadens. "Think of it as my gratitude for your encouragement."
That way, too, Umie can get off her feet and get something in her stomach without having to walk too much further.
<Pose Tracker> Umie Akabane has posed.
Is Umie paranoid, or is Jun misunderstanding?
It can be both, very easily.
"... You're right." About the information Kuzunoha gave, that is. "It's the parts that sneak around that that make me nervous."
Explaining why the shrine feels off would mean admitting to Maihime-- that is, _Umie's_ Maihime.
Umie's detour allows her a far better answer than she would have likely found otherwise. Bullying, though... "I wonder if it got worse or lessened when that other school's roster was added, not too long ago..." she wonders, idly. "But I imagine a bit of excitement never hurt anyone..." No, she's not talking about two populations of students of different genders being introduced to each other.
No, that sharp little smile is just purely because she knows how some of those new students likely ensured they had their spot at the metaphorical table.
Ah, she's getting distracted; like a switch, Umie's attention turns to Jun. "... That aside, I think I see what you mean. Even when I first really met you, you stood up to me in your own way. I appreciated it; I couldn't reveal all the reasons I was there for, so I looked terribly suspicious." She smirks. "I'm not entirely sure why anyone would find me suspicious, at all~"
It was to try to gain information on Tsubasa, wasn't it? How strange, that it feels like so much longer ago than it really is. "You seek your own path in life. That's respectable."
And something she was content not to do at all at his age, Umie thinks, for all she pretended she was some rebel at night.
"It does," Umie says, "but it comes with different challenges. You have to make sure you cultivate your bonds to other people, or you'll drive yourself into a rut with how disconnected you feel." Umie clears her throat. "That was not directed at you specifically, of course. Kasugayama has at least two that I know of." Eikichi and... Kurou.
..... Is it wrong of her to imagine Jun getting along with Kurou?
Anyway. Jun points out that Tatsuya may very well may not *love* any version of Jun. Love *is* a strong word, after all... "It seems that way to me, but maybe I just like the idea of you two being a couple," she admits, in a singsong fashion. "But I think you have the right attitude to be cautious. You're definitely important to him, but that importance can be due to many things, and he's not being entirely great with expressing his feelings, right now."
For reasons that are... incredibly legitimate, given how unsure Umie herself feels over simple things like forgotten little shrines and similar names. How much is this force, be it Nyarlathotep or whatever, dictating how Tatsuya is and feels?
But Jun doesn't have that to hold him back. "It's important, I think, that you're remembering that these feelings come to you as 'Jun Kashihara's' feelings. Takkun may not feel the same freedom to make that distinction, which is why he holds himself back. It's to protect you, Jun Kashihara, as it is to protect Jun Kurosu."
She really wishes she had the freedom to call Shiryuu, right now, and indirectly show him how grateful she is at this moment to be able to speak to Jun's own feelings of love and indecision. It's hardly the same, but...
... No, she just wants to be able to spend time with him again. But it really would be bad to just do that, when there's the matter of... damn it, Shiryuu!!
(Damn it, Jun!!!)
"Glad I could at least listen. I admit, my own romances at your age were a lot more flat, but that was--" .... due to Mai-chan "... due to having very little time to really think about things like that." She certainly wouldn't have been as thoughtful as Jun, she thinks, with a small grin.
"... It's usually against my credo to accept something like that, buuttt..." she says, as she gets up and shakes the sand from her coat, "... as an acknowledgement that you are my equal as a Persona User, somethingsomething, sure. I accept."
She'll definitely be getting something on the cheaper side, however.