2026-04-29: Making Sense
- Log: Making Sense
- Cast: Miho Ijuuin, Yua Ijuuin, Tyrrha Ijuuin
- Where: Miho's Penthouse, Aoba Ward, Sumaru City
- OOC Date: Wed, Apr 29 2026
- IC Date: Thu, Nov 01 2012
- Summary: Exercise time is cut short by Yua clearly pushing herself too hard--Miho notices, and takes her off to talk. CW: Discussion of sexual abuse.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
All of those impromptu doctor's appointments are hard on Yua. Luckily, Miho is rich enough to have brought them to a clinic which tolerates /impromptu appointments,/ but even without them giving her attitude about walking in...
... she always needs those unscheduled appointments because something /bad/ happened.
She's always rather quiet about them, but especially so, today; hiding behind Miho, it falls to the other woman to explain her situation, and just /why/ she's so reserved. As much as Dr. Matsuhashi might have liked to get Yua alone to ask her what happened, that's just not happening; the furthest Yua tolerates being away from Miho is knowing she's on the other side of the door, when she has to hand over a urine test. (And Miho's job, of course, is to guard the door and make sure no one /comes in./)
They are all deeply concerned for what's happened to her... but they're at least able to assure her that Hiroki seems well, and it doesn't seem that she's contracted any disease.
When they arrive home, Tyrrha greets them; for now, she's wearing some of Yua's baggier clothes, which are still too small for /her/ but which at least are in the /neighbourhood/ of fitting. (Miho's blouses may as well be a tent, to a 5'4" girl.) She, at least, is unerringly sunny... to the point that one might wonder whether she entirely comprehends what troubles Yua's /seen./
She insists on them showing her how the equipment in the home gymnasium works -- and Yua, for one, thinks that's a great idea. Their gymnasium is quite generously-sized, with gorgeous views out of floor-to-ceiling windows; it's full of all the equipment Miho needs to maintain her form at home, from the rowing machine, to the treadmill, to the bench press, to the /leg/ press, to the pull-up bar, and even /jump rope./
Which, of course, is what Tyrrha is quite happily skipping away at. Welwetes opines, "rah!", every time her claw feet hit the floor, and one might imagine that he's counting, except that he really doesn't seem to have any sort of /vocabulary./
Yua, meanwhile, is on the treadmill; she might be pregnant, but it's not like she stopped being able to /jog./ Jogging is mom culture! Normally, she's pretty good about taking a break before she gets too tired, but...
... she's been on that thing for a while... is she /panting?/
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho would much prefer to be honest with the good doctor. But even though she isn't, Dr. Matsuhashi might detect that Miho is /troubled/. There is something going on here, all right. But she doesn't accept help, so...
Yua certainly isn't going to ask.
But Tyrrha is becoming part of things already. ...Miho has a feeling Tyrrha doesn't comprehend.
Miho's glad to share, at least. Miho has been on the rowing machine today, feeling that kind of work-out. But...
Welwetes may be cute--but--
Miho has quietly departed from the rowing machine to step up beside the treadmill, instead.
"Yua," she says in some concern. "...You should take a break."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
They're very troubling patients! Dr. Matsuhashi can /tell/ they're hiding things... but there's only so much she can do.
Hop! Hop! Tyrrha is busy jumping, but /Miho/ is attuned to just why Yua might push herself too far, today. Her first response is a wordless /huff, huff,/ as she turns to regard Miho --
-- and that /might/ have turned into a disaster, except there's a safety key clipped to her blouse which tugs out as she loses her place on the treadmill, and it safely comes to a halt instead.
Of course Yua must always use the safety precautions in the gym!!
"Oh," she sighs, as she reaches out to take Miho's hand and steady herself; she's a little wobbly, getting off, and /that/ Tyrrha notices.
The jump rope slows to a stop, and Tyrrha soon ambles over to ask: "Yumama, you alright? Take it easy!"
"Ah... I suppose I ought to," Yua smiles, to her, a touch shakily. "But please don't let me interrupt you... you seemed like you were having fun."
"Oh, yeah!" Tyrrha grins, all teeth. "This thing is great!" The jump rope, she indicates, lifting it up.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
It could've been a disaster, but thanks to careful preparation, it wasn't. There's a lesson in that.
Right?
Miho reaches out for Yua's hand, one then the other, and carefully steadies her. "Yes," Miho agrees, "You should take it easy."
She then smiles at Tyrrha. "It's good that you noticed. But she's right; you were having fun. Let me attend to 'Yumama'."
She will guide Yua off towards a place to sit down and drink some water.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
There's definitely a lesson in that. But how are they to prepare for things like /this?/
Well, at least Miho can prepare for Yua not realising she's tired; both by reminding her to clip up (a clip she thoughtfully returns to its resting-place for next time -- she didn't forget it dangling there this time!), and by taking her hands to make sure she doesn't stumble on her dismount.
"It's harder when it's normal out here," Tyrrha admits, rubbing at the back of her head, when Miho compliments her noticing. (Does that mean she has some sort of supernatural... Yua detection???) "Guess I oughta get better at lookin'!"
"You'll have plenty of time for that," Yua assures Tyrrha, gently, smiling to her. "But you don't need to worry about me when Mimi's here. She's always been my strongest protector." It is a thing she punctuates with a squeeze of Miho's hands, though she's looking to the girl who's come to them.
"Well, if you're sure you're cool... alrighty!" Tyrrha gives them a bigs thumbs-up, and turns back to Welwetes. "Hey, little buddy, how many skips was I at?"
"Rarrr!"
"Sixty-eight? Whaaat? I swore it was eighty already...!"
"Rah."
Either /she/ understands his electronic growling better, or she's just making it up to play with him, but either way, she seems pretty okay with spending some more time at /jump rope./
The best place, as it happens, is the loungeroom; right there in the name, it has the /best/ lounges. And it's right next to the dining room and kitchen! Eiko, of course, is quite responsive with fetching them some water; Miho doesn't even have to /say/ anything, she spies Yua looking a little shaky and sweaty coming out of the gym and just diverts off to fetch some for them.
"Thank you, Eiko-san," Yua smiles, to her, when she places the glasses down on the table for them. "You read my mind..."
"Just let me know if you need anything else," Eiko assures her, kindly, in turn.
Sip, Yua tries the water -- she has to /try/ it first, to make sure her stomach will agree, but luckily, it's not finding that much to protest about /water/ right now. Glug, glug...
She successfully drinks the glass!! (Please clap...) Yua puts it back down on the table, and turns to Miho, with a deep sigh. "Sorry... I guess I pushed myself too hard, huh...?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Normal out here... That does indeed imply Tyrrha's senses are strengthened in the supernatural realms. Especially for Yua! "You'll improve," Miho assures her, and smiles at Yua at the description of her as her strongest protector.
Raaar.
Miho leads Yua over, and Eiko is already at work. "Thank you," Miho echoes to Eiko. She accepts some water as well; it will encourage Yua, and Miho was also working out. Glug, glug...
"You did," Miho says. She doesn't clap, but she does approve.
"...Why?" she wonders gently. "Is it because of all that's happened?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Let's get improving!!" Tyrrha declares, with enthusiasm. Skip, skip, skip...!
And... it's only really when Yua's out of earshot of the girl that she really /deflates,/ her mask slipping to show Miho how strained it is beneath.
"... mm," Yua hums, and once Miho puts her own glass aside, Yua wriggles in beside her, hooking an ankle around hers as she curls a hand around her side. "I had a lot of bad feelings... so I thought maybe I'd outrun them? That works sometimes..." Because it's not only /Miho/ who gets daily use out of their exercise equipment; /Yua's/ a gym rat, too.
"But the more I tried to get ahead of them, the more there were... so I had to keep moving."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Yua gets an arm about her for her troubles, and Miho looks down at her in concern. She does see her deflate; she hears her talk about those bad feelings...
It does work sometimes; Miho's done it, herself. But...
"I see," Miho says. "Well, let's sit with them for a while, then, instead. ...If running won't work. Do you want to tell me?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua at least looks comforted by Miho's grasp, nuzzling her face into her collar for a moment, before she looks back up to her. "Uh-huh," she nods, though the lack of verbosity is telling, too.
She /wants/ to tell Miho; finding the words is another thing entirely.
"When I pretend," which is a broad descriptor, really, which could both capture her attempts to keep herself together around the youth /and/ her false stories about her injuries, "what happened feels far away. But I'm still in that place... so I feel far away. Like... I must be upset, mustn't I? But if I put on my face and smile, it can't have happened... if something had happened, I would be upset. Mm... or something like that...? I don't know if I'm saying that right at all..."
... Yua doesn't have the language to describe dissociation.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
It is telling.
"...Hm."
It's not really how Miho experiences it, but it has enough in common that she can guess. She is familiar with the sensation, after all.
"You know those times when I seem far away?" Miho asks gently. "When no matter what is actually happening, I'm... somewhere else."
"It is like that, I think."
"You are also far away."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm..." Yua hums, brow knit with concern. She considers those times when Miho's far away...
... and reaches over, to take Miho's free hand and lift it to her cheek, in just the way /Yua/ sometimes does when she tries to call her back.
"Does that mean you're worried about me, too?" Yua asks, because of course it's no secret that /she/ worries, when Miho grows distant.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho is not as good at being on the opposite end; indeed, lately, she's been 'far away' a lot herself.
But still...
"Yes," Miho answers. "Or rather... I don't know that it /means/ that."
"But it is also true."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
And whenever Miho has gone far away, Yua has been there, to call her back, lighthouse and safe harbour.
Which may explain why Yua presses her cheek into Miho's hand, something in her expression shattering to a grief she can approach. "That's no good," she insists, quietly. "No good... what happens if we both go away? I can't call you back if I'm somewhere else... I don't want you to get lost, Mimi..."
And she may feel a tear, as Yua's breath grows a touch uneven. "But I don't know how to get back... I'm stuck."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"I'll be all right," Miho says. "...It might take me longer to find my way back, but I will. Because 'home' is with you."
"Mm..."
She strokes Yua's hair.
"...Try to focus on the world around you," she suggests. "Think about how the water was cool. About the color of the wall. Little things. Little pieces of 'here', to guide you back."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mimi's my home, too," Yua murmurs, regarding Miho for a long moment. "But you'll come back, even if I'm still back there...? You really are strong, Mimi..."
Yua sighs, sinking in against Miho's chest; her eye flutters shut, as she grasps her opposite shoulder. She thinks about the cool water, which she wanted to make hotter and hotter until Miho insisted it was warm enough; and of course she was right, because if the water's too hot, it's bad for the baby. The walls... they're French grey, aren't they? It's an elegant kind of colour...
"... and... Memimi's petting my hair... and your hand's strong, but you're always so gentle... you've never hurt me, no matter what you do to other people..." Yua's tears well up, and her breath hitches in a sob; she hugs herself to her, a little tighter. "I-I'm sorry, I really do like it," she insists, her voice small. "I just -- just --"
Perhaps it's just that Miho not hurting her is /notable,/ given how grievously she's been hurt.
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"I know it's where you'll be, sooner or later. ...If we're both lost, if we both look for the other... we may never find each other. But if we know a place we can both go--a place to 'meet'... Then we can go there."
Miho waits, as Yua gets it. Her strong hand that...
"Ah," she says. "So that's why."
It does bother her for a moment, 'what she does to others'. But--
She sees it. "Yes. I don't want to hurt you. That's not... what these hands are for."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm... it's like... when I first got trapped back there, before, I had a dream about you," Yua shares, quietly. "In the dream, you said I should stay put, so you could find me... since you wouldn't stop looking. I guess it's 'cause I knew that's what you're supposed to do when you get lost... but if I know you're here... I just come back here, right?"
It bothers Yua, too, that uncomfortable shard of /wondering/ whether the terror Kimitake visited upon her is a family trait that other people know Miho for. But what happens to other people can't matter; the important thing is that Miho would never terrify /her./
Unlike him.
"I love your hands, Mimi," Yua says, her face nosing into the space between her ear and her shoulder, to hide herself away there. "Feeling your fingers through my hair or down my back... it always makes me feel better. I just feel tainted... because I remember... hers." It's not just Natari's hands she's recalling, but to say she's trapped in those memories is hardly a /lie./ "And then I feel unsafe... but when I remember I'm with my Mimi, I realise I'm okay...?"
Yua heaves a deep sigh, against her neck. "Sorry... I'm not making sense, right...?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
A dream about her...? Miho tilts her head. "Did I?" she wonders, though she shows no particular memory of that. "I suppose that makes sense. ...But yes, 'here' is best; we just... go to the same place. We both know where it is."
Miho won't.
"I am glad you do. But..." It does make sense.
"No, you're making sense. When you are in that space between dream and waking... it's hard to know what is real. Where you are, who is with you. It is only when you realize who I am that you can feel safe."
"...I feel that way sometimes, too. When I am in that space, where I do not recall..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"For a long time, I thought you were really speaking to me... but I think I must have just needed something to hold onto," Yua supposes, her tone a touch dismal. "My dreams aren't like yours, after all... they're just dreams."
Not /communications from another world./ And Yua earnestly believes that, even if Miho's /doctors/ might advise her that belief is a sign of unwellness.
"But if I get lost," Yua promises, "I'll come back here!"
She nods, against her, humming assent into her skin. "Yeah," she says. "I... I don't know how to make it better, Mimi. Just... I don't want you to stop touching me, even if I'm weird about it now..." And here, again, she tears up, hiding her field of view in the nape of Miho's neck. "Like -- like you don't -- right?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"That may be," Miho says softly. "I'm sorry. If I knew of a way to contact you in dreams like that... I definitely would have. But I don't know any such power."
Like hers. Like hers, which are... real? Are they? From what the Man in the Black Mask said...
"...Yes."
Her dreams are communications. That much, she knows for certain.
"Good," Miho says. "And so will I."
"...Besides," she says, "You can call Ikeda-san, too. She'll know where I am." A small smile.
But, "Like I don't?" Miho confirms. "...I don't want to stop. I don't know how to make it better, either."
"Just keep talking to me. Tell me how you feel. And if something changes... tell me."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
They must be real. What does the Man in the Black Mask know, anyway?
(A lot of things, Yua. He knows a lot of things.)
"Oh, yeah... Eiko-san would know!" Yua perks up, remembering that they're not /alone/ in all this. "She knows all sorts of things!"
(Smash cut to Eiko, who is already folding Yua's winter nightgowns and putting them in easy reach -- despite Yua's previous insistence that it's /not winter yet/ so she /doesn't gotta/ -- having intuited just from her strange choice of clothing that even overclocked and prone to boiling as she is, Yua would prefer to have /long sleeves/ right now.)
"Like... like you don't want me to stop touching you even though you don't know who I am when you're waking up sometimes... right?" Yua asks, a touch more uncertain.
She nods, though, against Miho. "I will," Yua says, though for some reason she sounds close to tears, again. (She can't say she's sorry now; it would be too suspicious. But she's sorry, Mimi...! She'd tell her what really changed if she could...) "I feel -- I feel -- oh," another sob hitches her throat, as she clutches herself to her. "Oh--!"
And there, she cries, for long moments; it's only when she calms, with hitching breaths, that she manages to explain. "... she said... she said how... h-how I was brilliant, and... my imperfections were just, underlining my fragility. But I am... I am, I do feel, I'll shatter, but... but if I were stronger... s-she wouldn't be so obsessed... oh, it's not /fair.../ why am I crying even just saying how I feel?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"She does."
"Oh," Miho answers. "No, that's fine. Who you are when you're half-awake... I'm not sure anyone realizes that entirely, anyway." A shake of her head. "But it does not bother me, no. ...That you know who I am when you have command of your senses... that matters to me."
Somewhere close to tears. Well, that's not so suspicious.
"She's monstrous," Miho says. "Someone who would think such things of someone and then act in such ways..."
"Especially if she thinks of you as weak. But you are not so weak as you think."
"...It is difficult to return to that 'place', where you hear her, isn't it? The things you feel... they're difficult to bear."
"That is not strange."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mimi is Mimi," Yua insists. "Memimi..."
Yua shudders, as she thinks of Natari, of those implications of her stated fragility against the things she's /done./ "... she thinks broken things are pretty," Yua concludes, her voice tremulous. "She thinks I'm pretty..."
She nods, against Miho, again. "Sometimes... it's like I'm there again. I get really scared... it's like I'm in two places at once. And two points of time... but the clock's stopped, Mimi."
Yua hugs herself against her, taking a breath. "Mm... it's normal... I guess. Like the doctor said... the doctor said how I might remember it like it's happening again, and stuff... and that's normal? It just doesn't feel normal... it feels like everything's falling apart."
Yua peeks out, from where she's hidden against Miho, to mumur: "It's grey..." ... and it might not be immediately apparent, until one looks where she's looking, that she's talking about the /walls./
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Memimi. Miho smiles at that. "Thank you," she says. "...Then I'll be 'me.'"
Broken things are pretty... "She is monstrous," Miho reiterates. "She is the one who is perverse. And one day we will do something about that."
But sometimes... it is in two places at once. Two points of time, but...
"And you are stuck," she says. "Because the clock has stopped."
Miho hugs Yua close, too.
"Mm...?"
"Ah, yes. The wall is gray. ...What color am I wearing?" she asks.
Focus on the little details, and stay here.
Miho strokes Yua's hair, as she thinks of it.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"That makes me happy!" Yua even manages a little cheer, hearing Miho pledge to be herself. Even when everything is terrible... Yua loves her wife!!!!
(... though... isn't the fact that she was calling her her wife... part of why things went wrong...?)
"She's a monster," Yua agrees, with not quite the same framing. Perhaps Natari doesn't quite need fangs or claws to lurk beneath her bed, inside her closet, past a dark street...
And she nods, as Miho notes the clock.
"Mm... Mimi's..." Yua sighs, as she turns her head, to get her sighted side in view of Miho's clothing. "Red... that's one of your big favourites. Red and black... like an elegant snake!" And of course, what /Miho/ knows is that /snakes/ are /Yua's/ big favourite animal.
"And... I put on a black blouse, too... because I'm all banged up, and people will see, and... and I don't want to look at myself right now." ... so that's why she didn't want to wear /her/ clothing, even though having a specific outfit that encapsulates /her/ is so important to Yua that she has several copies of that one specific leotard.
"And... you're stroking my hair," she realises, finally, sinking in against Miho like a liquid cat. (Tiger has been scarce; there's a /new person/ in the house, and a new... cat?????... and he has no idea what to think of it. He'll be fine once he asserts dominance, though.) "It's nice... can you keep doing that...? I'm... a little tired..."
Yua is like a cat in more ways than one, in fact -- even /before/ one gets into /bian/ terminology -- because as soon as she starts napping on Miho, it's all over.
She's trapped.