2026-05-25: Shinjo's Familiar Persona
- Log: Shinjo's Familiar Persona
- Cast: Yua Ijuuin, Miho Ijuuin
- Where: Miho's penthouse, Aoba Ward, Sumaru City
- OOC Date: May 25, 2026
- IC Date: Wed, Nov 14, 2012
- Summary: It takes Yua a while to find the words to tell Miho about what happened when they stole the Hierophant Shadow from SEES, but when she does, they both realise how intruging his Persona is -- though neither of them recognise just how relevant Nyarlathotep is to their lives as they contemplate power and desire.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Preparations are still continuing apace; Yua's taken some more time off of work, and her polite lie that her leave is related to the girl she's adopted is at least becoming /more/ true as she spends less time huddled under a blanket and more time helping Tyrrha onboard the basic knowledge she needs to go to school without blowing her cover the minute she's out of earshot.
She's been teaching her how to adapt to the type of questions school demands of them by getting /Tyrrha/ to run through how they should design a koi pond to fit on their roof. The fact that Tyrrha is better at the maths than Yua is embarrasses her, but Tyrrha doesn't really notice, so it's fine. Once they'd settled on a design, they could hire some contractors...!
You see, even when the clock's broken, life still goes on this way.
But there is a different type of progress happening when Yua and Miho retire to their bedroom. It took almost two weeks for Yua to tell Miho just why she felt so unclean; since then, she's gotten better at coping with being touched, though she's still advancing slowly. A hand at her back or her arm or her hair is fine; those soothing gestures don't set off her alarm bells. The rest...
... well, as Miho must have to tell her quite often, it's only been two weeks.
She'd be forgiven for thinking it was that kind of thing on Yua's mind, an arm curled around Miho's side as she nuzzles her face into the neckline of her pyjamas. "Mimi..." She starts, and the night light which stops the room from being /totally/ dark -- Yua's been scared of the dark ever since she came back, back then -- only really captures the edges of her face, as she turns it up to look to her. "You remember when... I went on that mission?"
It had been a /choice/ posed to her, when she got the call; Chizuru wanted to know if she wanted to /take her mind off of things./ What she was asking for was something only Yua could offer, and while it was never made explicit, Miho was able to explain the subtleties: she was offering her a chance to /prove herself./
... in the end, it was Tyrrha who convinced her to agree; the girl was /ecstatic/ at the idea of getting to go out and fight. But as Yua assured Miho later, there were worse things they could ask of her than providing background support, and she ended up providing it very /well./
Still, she's been quiet about the details...
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
Miho has been helping with Tyrrha too, of course, while she hasn't been working. They've had a lot of work for her lately, perhaps as punishment for the time she took off; Miho hasn't complained about it. Instead, she listens about the koi pond, carefully tends to Yua, and indeed, reminds her it's only been two weeks.
Miho replies with a "Hm?" when Yua nuzzles into her pajamas, and doesn't act on any thoughts she might have. Instead... she listens. The light illuminates a little of Yua, but not enough for Miho. So she says, "I remember."
It was a choice, albeit perhaps a good one. A chance to prove herself... and, yes, to get her mind off of things.
Miho has wondered about that mission.
"Go on."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Kimitake, of course, has been extremely understanding and excused Yua from all her obligations while she grapples with her initial recovery.
He made sure that Miho was home when he came over to offer them a fruit basket as a get-well present.
... is it the way Yua smiled gently to him and thanked him softly, as if touched by his thoughtfulness, which has kept her from being punished herself?
She wonders about that -- but privately. A little poison kept on the inside.
There are other things she's been able to tell Miho more freely.
Just... even when it comes to those subjects...
"We took one of the Shadows which those children, SEES, are hunting... they call them Full Moon Shadows, I think." Yua sighs, looking up to Miho, her head sinking in against the edge of the pillow. "The man Ishigami-san reports to... Shinjo-san. He stayed behind to secure the boy he was after... I stayed after Ishigami-san left with the Shadow, to keep the area clear, since it was getting terribly loud." Figuratively speaking, one presumes.
"But, Shinjo-san, he..."
Yua tilts her face into the sheets. When she's feeling unsafe, she tends to lie on her right side, leaving the world outside as her blind spot and keeping /her/ field of view to Miho; it means that for those moments, she doesn't see much of anything. But she takes a breath, and lifts her head, and looks to the severe outlines of Miho's again. "He called his Persona... 'Nyarlathotep'. He scarcely needed my power at all, with the place he could take them... and that Persona..."
Yua looks quite frightened. "Whenever I cast my eyes on Shinjo-san to offer my analysis, I was so sure he was looking back at me, Mimi. I felt -- I felt he must have recognised me, even though -- he wasn't named Mephstopheles, he'd have no reason to know Gretchen...?" And it is no mistake just /who/ Yua compares that Nyarlathotep to, from the story which shaped their powers.
"It was a bad feeling, but... for some reason, it felt nostalgic, too," Yua frowns, her hand curling in Miho's pyjamas. "Like it was... like breathing, or... meeting an old friend I'd lost track of years ago... I was scared, but I really wanted to know more about him. I thought... if I looked harder... maybe I could even save myself."
She shakes her head, with a little, disconcerted hum. "But I didn't," she concludes, troubled. "It's bad manners to analyse your allies, Mimi... and I think Ishigami-san wanted to impress Shinjo-san, so if I did something like that while I was helping her it would look bad for her, too."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
It could be. After all, Miho had no reason to think anything of Kimitake in that moment other than positive things; he was being supportive. The fruit basket is nice.
But these other subjects...
"Hm," Miho reflects. To take one of those Shadows... Well, there's probably some purpose meant in mind for it. It isn't her problem for the moment. Instead, she listens. "Right." She stayed.
Miho keeps Yua as safe as she can, then. That power, that Persona...
"...It would be his business to know," Miho reflects. "If he is Ishigami-san's superior." But that isn't what Yua meant, exactly, and the hesitation in Miho's voice might make that clear. "Looking back..."
Nostalgic? Miho blinks, and looks to Yua. "An old friend, mm?" she wonders. "To save yourself..."
"Well," Miho says, "Such power as that would be helpful to us," the tall woman reflects. "...'Nyarlathotep'. An Outer God... not subject to the restrictions and shackles of mortals."
"...I've read a little. Perhaps I will read more."
"But you were right not to do so then. ...Bad manners are bad work, in situations like that."
"But perhaps there will be another opportunity. Or perhaps... we can meet him, sometime."
She sighs. "Feelings that are both bad and good... I feel that we'll have a lot of those, upcoming."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"So he doesn't play by the rules...? I wonder why Shinjo-san would have a Persona like that..."
Somehow, the idea that his psyche is expressing a rejection of convention makes her like him a little more, even if he is a scientist.
Yua tilts her head -- up, this time, to better examine Miho's face in the half-light. "You know... the weirdest part?" She asks, and this, she asks slowly.
"Sometimes, that familiarity... it was like, when I looked at one of those sets of eyes... it was like they were papa's eyes, or... or Yume-chan's eyes... or your eyes, Mimi. My mind must have just been playing tricks on me, though... or maybe something like that was just easier to look at? It was... it was, um... my strange dimensions couldn't match a thing like that in a hundred years, you know?"
She smiles, faintly. "I did good work," she says, though of course Miho already knows /that;/ she received a positive report on her efforts. "I was worried about some of it... like, leaving Shishi's woman without telling him she was doing badly... but I tried not to worry about it! He doesn't need me to tip him off, he's very good!" And there, despite the intimidating subject, is a little of Yua's sparkly cheer.
She believes in Shiryuu, too, these days...
"Maybe... do you think it's a good idea to meet him?" Yua asks, evidently torn. "If he's Ishigami-san's superior, we might be able to, but..."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Who knows?" Miho says. "I can only speculate, for now."
But Miho's expression in the half-light is quiet, contemplative. Perhaps a little sad.
But the weirdest part...? Miho blinks, and looks at Yua. "Really?" she wonders. "..It's possible," she says. "But usually your mind wouldn't supply such comforting things, when reality is so difficult to see... neutral things, maybe. But not things like that."
Strange dimensions. That they could be comforting...
Miho smiles back. "Good," she says. "...That girl," Miho says, "She wouldn't understand most of what we do. Or what we think. Even if she does have some similarities. It's best... not to call attention to her."
"But he is. He'll see, if there's a problem."
But...
"I don't know," Miho admits. "I feel like it would be good... But not good to /seek/."
"Perhaps in time."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm... it's why I'm not sure what to think about it," Yua admits. "I can't describe it... it was scary, but I wasn't just scared. I felt... I felt like... if I just knew a little more... like I was hungry. That Persona looked... unfathomable, but... when I think about how I felt, I'm sure he wasn't that different, Mimi."
Yua frowns, as she thinks of Umie. "... she thinks she escaped," and it's a different way to how she's said it before, describing people as /having/ escaped. "I think it's important to her that she feels like she's fighting it... I hope that doesn't make her worth taking back, but I guess it's for her health, right? Mm... you're right," she admits, looking to Miho. "No one's asking about her, so there's no need to bring her up... I want to do that much for Shishi."
(Yua thinks of her, most of the time, in relation to him; she doesn't mean ill by it, but of course /she/ never escaped, did she?)
Miho, though, suggests that not seeking it is wise; and Yua chews on the inside of her mouth, thoughtfully, as she hums. "Mm... you're right," she admits, though it takes her a moment. (Even Yua, it seems, can hunger.) "If we're too forward, he might get the wrong idea... he's a scientist, so... I'm nervous about being looked at by that sort of person." Shinjo doesn't /directly/ manage the Blacksite, of course -- that honour belongs to one Fukashi Ura -- but Miho may have already turned up in her investigations how the latter reports to the former.
"But... you want to know about that Nyarlathotep, too, right...?"
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Hungry..." Miho is thoughtful. "We are often hungry, aren't we? ...Not for food. But for something else."
"Unfathomable, and yet..."
Not that different. Maybe so. Similarly, Umie; she thinks she escaped. "Hopefully not," Miho agrees of her. "If she can continue under that impression, that would be best. ...And we can help ensure that by not saying unnecessary things about her to others."
For Shishi. ...Of course. Miho doesn't see any issue with that.
But her suggestion is indeed that. "That's fair," Miho says. "I don't know what he would think of you, of our situation... but I don't think it is wise to invite overmuch thought into it befor ewe are prepared."
Miho knows that, about the report.
"But I do also want to know," Miho says. "...I find myself feeling the same way."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Yeah," Yua takes a deep breath, and sighs. "I don't think people think about me like that much... except you, Mimi, you know how bad I want you..." And Yua is at least still hopeful enough about the future to use /present/ tense, even though she's been struggling with those flashbacks so much. "But... I want, too." It isn't even a hunger limited to Miho, though, of course, that's who she thinks of /first./
Yua smiles, to her. "Mm," she hums, affirmatively. "I'm glad you think so too, Mimi... you know how to deal with those people better than me. I'm not very good at playing the game... but if you think the same, it must be the right way!"
... Yua does, at least, know better than to assume the man Chizuru follows has the same priorities as she seems to, with regards to those at the margins of their Order. "Look before we leap! Right?"
(But when you look into the abyss, Yua, it has an awful tendency to look back into you...)
"I thought you'd know what I meant," Yua nods, when Miho shares her own feelings. "It was a little hard to talk about it, since I kept thinking... I should be able to describe it, right? They made it so I could describe things... but no matter how much I turned it around in my head, I couldn't find anything to sum it up. Like... like a platypus! It's got webbed feet like a goose, and a beaver's tail, and a beak like a duck, and fur like a mouse, and poison like a snake! But -- but if I just said all those things at once -- it wouldn't sound like a playpus at all," Yua pouts. "I can't think of the platypus word for Nyarlathotep, Mimi... so all those things that are scary and familiar and interesting and unsettling... they're all jumbled up."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"I know," Miho says. But she does not only mean such things, either--not only what she feels for Yua, but..
Hunger.
She smiles back "I think so," she continues. "...It is a matter of... Hmm," she considers. "Well, I am accustomed to it," she settles on instead.
Why not let the abyss look? After all, if you're going to be seen anyway...
"It is," Miho agrees. "I understand. There are many things that are there that we cannot describe." A platypus, even. Miho smiles fondly at Yua. "Yes, just so," she agrees. "...I understand what you mean."
"...But some of the feelings that we need to understand, that we need to have... they are jumbled."
"I think we should keep an eye out."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Being united by destiny does give them a certain shared perspective on the world... or at least that's how Yua sees it.
How could anyone settle for less when they know what they /could/ have?
"Rich people stuff..." That's how Yua sums it up, with a puff of a sigh. "When I see you or Sister or, or Kimi-san keep a straight face and think up something polite even when someone's being rude, I'm always really impressed, but I guess you've been learning how to do that stuff all your lives? Mm, I guess that means the Powers that Be are preying on rich people, too, just like how poor people disappear... since they took all those things and made them about their jerk stuff."
Yua, bless her heart, is trying /so hard/ not to join the dots about the rot coming from money. Rich people can't be the problem! Miho's the best person and she has so much money!!! Besides, if money's the problem, and /Yua's/ rich now too, what does that say about /her?/
No, it has to be outside actors who made it bad.
... and if Yua doesn't ask too many questions about how Father keeps increasing their wealth, that's just because it's rude to ask.
Yua's smile warms, seeing the fondness in Miho's smile; she can catch those details, even in the low light, because Miho's her favourite thing to look at in all the world. "Mimi's good at understanding," she says, "even when I can't describe things too easy..."
Her fingers flex, rubbing at Miho's shoulderblade, as she makes another thoughtful sound. "Mmm... I wonder if it's so jumbled up because I am right now, too," she says, as if it just struck her. "I feel pretty mixed up all the time, now, so... maybe I'm more confused about stuff I don't get, too...? But you're right, Mimi... let's monitor it for now."
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"Indeed," Miho says. "We have been taught. ...It is a skill like any other." Preying on rich people, though... Miho is thoughtful at that. Poor people disappear, but...
Hm.
"Wealth and power usually but do not always go together," Miho says. "...A child does not have the power of his parent's wealth, necessarily. And even some who do have less power in turn than those who would act on them..."
It's not quite the same. But it could be close enough that Yua can live with it.
Still, Miho would rather talk about Yua. And her feelings.
"It is because I think about you so much," Miho supplies, and then, "Hm... That could be," she says. "It is harder to understand when you are not on even footing. ...Harder to do most things."
"But you'll recover. And we'll keep watching."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"They're hard skills... Mimi's impressive!" Yua, of course, might have particular reason to struggle with learning advanced /social/ skills. "And, mm... you're right, Mimi..."
Yua doesn't mind letting Miho focus on her, though. "It is harder," she sighs, pouting again. "I think I'm more normal in the day, but... it's like I lost a lot of progress, just because something really bad happened. But... but I think I'm getting better quicker, Mimi! Quicker than the first time, anyway...!"
It took Yua /months/ to get to any sort of stability, the first time.
"And... I like it when you think about me, Mimi," she adds, hugging herself to her. "If it's Mimi, I want to be in your head... if it's Mimi, that's comfy."
It isn't an /obsession/ if it's /invited./
<Pose Tracker> Miho Ijuuin has posed.
"I've only learned what I needed to learn," Miho demurs. There are situations in which she'll abandon humility, but this isn't one of them. But Miho will focus on Yua. "That makes sense," Miho says. "You had made a lot of progress... and you will again. As you say, you're going much faster this time."
"Bad things happen... but you aren't alone to deal with them, at least."
Miho smiles back, and hugs Yua too. "Then," she says, "Feel free to make yourself comfortable. Because that's where you are."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Of course, as we know, Yua's never stopped applauding Miho's talents...
"Mm, mm," Yua hums, smiling. "Mimi's taking care of me, and Recchi cares about me, and Shishi's helping protect me, and Eiko-san's giving me ideas for stuff I can do, and Sachie-san's taking me for walks... and this time, I gotta get better, since Tykko's counting on me!" The fact that Yua isn't just someone who needs care this time may well be another factor; she doesn't expect the girl from the laboratory to take care of /her,/ after all.
Her cheeks flush, as Miho invites her, too. "You sweet-talker," Yua murmurs, and as much as she's taken by her charm, she's relieved to feel that she can still /appreciate/ it. "I'm real comfy, Mimi... this is the comfiest spot in the whole world."
And she must be, because she's even comfortable enough to curl her leg around Miho's and curl in against her.