2026-07-05: Dark Community
- Log: Dark Community
- Cast: Yua Ijuuin, Hana Fukami
- Where: Ebisu Beach
- OOC Date: 2026-07-05
- IC Date: Wed, Dec 05 2012
- Summary: Yua and Hana find themselves sharing secrets on the beach, and many, at least, are /about/ sex. And gender! Yua encourages Hana to get married, but Hana shares her fears over surgery -- fears which Yua, with one eye, can't allay. Hana shares more about her own relationship arrangement after hearing about Yua's wife's boyfriend, too... unfortunately, Yua isn't as open-minded as Hana is, hearing her talk about casual sex. There are darker secrets she hints at, too -- both regarding her own experiences and a community which would view Hana as a normal woman. What's more clear right now is that Yua is disconnected from her own queer community... and despite the way she's tangling her up, that's something Hana wants to reach out and help.
- Content warnings: Transphobia, homophobia, prejudice around casual sex, allusions to sexual violence, allusions to medical violence.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Three days back at work...
It's almost like it's normal again. Or is this, perhaps, a new normal?
They wake, and exercise together, all three of them now; and since it's really three-and-half, it makes perfect sense for Yua to adjourn more quickly than Miho and Tyrrha, to prepare breakfast and their lunches. Two of them, now, two cute little bento boxes, and to be honest, both of them need Olympian protein portions; today, those came in the form of adorable chicken kitties, shaped with one of Yua's many casts and given little red cucumber whiskers and a twisty cucumber tail, tomato-slice ears and slices cut up like stripes, olive slices for eyes, and a little half an olive slice for a nose. Then, there's just enough time to package those bentos up, sit the girls down for breakfast once they come in from the gym, and kiss Miho and give Tyrrha a hug as they're running off--!
Then, of course, she checks in with Eiko to see what tasks she needs an extra set of hands for -- making beds is the big one, Yua's always helped Eiko make their beds because it's a truly miserable task with one person. (And that's about the only time she ever goes into Miho and Tomomi's room...) Once those early chores are done, it's time to check in with Sachie to make sure she's well, and then it's time to do a little gardening...
Yua starts work at lunchtime, according to payroll, but according to her life as a housewife it starts at five thirty!
Still... it's not lunchtime yet. And so, before Yua heads to her latest campus... she's stopped in at the beach! She wears her usual leotard, though with black tights and long sleeves to cover herself up -- perhaps against the winter chill; her shoes are much more sensible than pointe shoes, right now, with the world's most tragic compression socks. (They don't look tragic. They have little blue cartoon penguins printed on them. It's adorable. And yet... they are prisons for her feets...) She sits in the sand, looking out to the sea, singing an Okinawan folk song quietly as a hand rests at her belly.
He can hear her, after all...
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Miho is glad to see something approaching normalcy for Yua; she'll appreciate the lunch, especially how cute it is today, how much work must have gone into it. ...As for Tomomi's space, maybe Miho will be able to make more time for him again now that Yua is doing a little better...
He seems to be eager to see her more often again.
But here and now, it's the beach. It would be crazy to go swimming at the beach at this time of year. It's a little crazy to go out here in the first place, since Hana has only just gotten out of the hospital and it's cold. And yet...
Sumaru is where she's ended up. She's going to visit family, but she's also decided to get some fresh (cold) air by visiting the beach. Then, she sees...
No, she hears. The quiet song.
So Hana steps up, her coat closed against the cold, wearing boots instead of sandals. "That's lovely, Yuarin."
Her voice is quiet; she knows she's interrupting, but...
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua has at least been grateful to Tomomi for supporting Miho at lunchtime.
... and Kimitake's asked for her to go to one of those parties on the weekend, too, now she's feeling well enough to work.
Perhaps it's a good time for Miho to go on a date of her own...?
(Certainly, Yua hasn't said anything suggesting it's more burdensome than the usual weight of performance.)
There are lots of different ways to perform, though. Yua may not be any kind of professional singer, but there is a kind of wonder to a new mother's lullaby, as if practicing to lull an embattled babe to slumber...
She smiles, as she looks up, to Hana; and interruption or otherwise, she receives her warmly. "Ko~to~ba~!" She sing-sings, cheerfully, as she pats the sand beside her. "I'm surprised to see you out here! Want to sit with me?"
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
It would be a good time. Maybe she will! Of course, if she knew the truth... It might be different.
But she doesn't! And Hana is here instead, who listens to Yua and that wonder. She's heard such things before--but it's always sweet to her, to hear it again. She smiles back at Yua when it's clear she's not unwelcome. "Sure," Hana answers, "I will."
She moves to take a seat. "I wouldn't usually be here," she says, "But I'm visiting my brother and his wife later, and I thought I'd look out at the ocean for a while while I had some free time."
"Lucky, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"That's great!" Yua smiles, with a sparkle. "I'm going to my elder sister's house for brunch tomorrow, too...! It falls on us to keep those bonds strong, right?" Hana and Yua, she means, as housewives.
(Hana might not be married, yet, but that doesn't mean she can't receive the same regard. It's not like Yua's married to the right woman, either...)
"This is my favourite place in all of Tokyo," Yua adds, looking out at the beach. (Sumaru, one notes, is still part of Greater Tokyo.) "Back home, there were so many beaches... but here, a lot of the shoreline's been developed, so the sand is all eaten up by nasty concrete! This beach is still protected, though... it's the best look at the ocean I can give Hiroki."
She giggles, looking down at herself. "Not that he can see much right now! But he can hear us, by now. I want him to know the sound, so he can hear it in all the sea-shells!"
They say, after all, that if you put a shell to your ear you might just hear the ocean...
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Sparkles! Hana smiles back, though she looks kind of tired. Maybe that's nothing, though. But even though Hana isn't a housewife, Yua includes her! "It does," she says. "Her baby's coming this month... So it's all the more important to make time to see her."
But Yua proclaims this her favourite place. Hana looks to her instead of the ocean as she explains. Back home, there were beaches; Hana is thoughtful as she considers that. "I see," she says. "...It's good that you have a place where you can, then."
A little laugh. "No, I suppose he isn't seeing much. But I'm sure he feels the difference. And hears it!"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I bet her nest looks so good!" Yua bubbles, because of course she has a nest, that's a normal thing to have when one is having a baby. "Has she had one before, or is this her first?"
Yua smiles, looking out to the ocean. "Mm, mm!" She nods, cheerfully, and Hana might be a little tired but it's Hana business whether she wants to mention why or not. The nice thing to do is to pretend she looks fine, right? "It definitely feels different on the ocean! Oh, and on a boat, too... do you ride in boats a lot, Kotoba? It's really fun!"
Yua, of course, has a speedboat of her own -- it was last seen, in fact, escorting a gaggle of villains from this very beach. Miho docks it somewhere convenient, and Yua's able to go out on the water every so often... and bring back fishies!
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
"Nest?" Hana wonders. "Oh." Of course, that must mean the space she's prepared for the baby. "She has! This is her second child. Her first was a son; he's growing up adorable."
But the ocean... Hmm. The nice thing for Hana to do of course is to ensure she doesn't burden Yua with her problems. For the moment, she stays nice in that way--and she listens. "It does," she agrees. "But not often for me. I don't really have occasion to get going all that often."
Her own speedboat... with fishies!
"I take it you do?" she asks. "That sounds lovely."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm, mm! Her cute little nest! Mine has bean bags!" Bean bags are not a dignified way to sit, and yet Yua was sure she needed three of them. "Ahh, he sounds so cute...! I heard it's easier the second time, if you're not the kind of woman who has trouble..."
Yua pouts, though, hearing that Hana doesn't get out to the Wave District all that often. "Awww..."
Does she? "Mm! Mm-hm!" Yua hums, clapping her hands together. "Mimi bought me a motorboat, so we can go out and fish whenever we want! Well... when we have time, anyway... moooou, responsibilities are the worst..." Adult life means not being able to drop everything to go fishing, huh.
"But we should definitely get out soon," Yua decides, nodding, firmly. "Because we have to take Tykko fishing! Oh, we could even invite Tomo-kun, too...!" After a beat, Yua elaborates: "Tomo-kun's my King's other special friend," because, of course, they are still in public, even if no one wants to be on the beach in Winter. "He's not like Kimi-san, though. He's nice. Oh, and Tykko--!"
Yua claps, again, as she turns herself around on the sand to face Hana, pulling out her phone to show her a photo of a dark-skinned girl with a ferocious expression and a high green ponytail. "Tykko is Tyrrha!" Yua explains, chipper. "Like I was saying on the show, remember?" How she adopted her cousin, recently. "She'd really love getting to go and fish..! Oh, but I bet she'd bite the fishies... hee hee," Yua giggles, as if that's cute and not weird. "We're installing a koi pond, and she's not allowed to fish those fishies, so we should totally take her out to catch some which are okay to eat...!"
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
"Oh, bean bags are so comfortable!" Hana enthuses. She used to have some of those... "That's been the case for her," Hana confirms. "She's had her own troubles, of course, but not nearly as much as some women get. And she knows what to expect, now. That goes a long way, too."
Aww! "Oh, that sounds fun," she says. "Who's Tykko, if i can ask?" And Tomo! Yua explains Tomoki! "Oh," she says. "So it's like that for you two? I understand. Teruo-kun and I have a couple of special friends, too. I was going to see Sa-chan last night, in fact..." But it didn't happen that way. "But it's only really romantic between the two of us," she explains after.
But Tykko... gets explained! And hana looks at a picture. "My, she looks fierce," Hana says, but it's not with dismay or disapproval. "SHe must be fun." Pause. Oh right! This is the cousin! "Yes, I see..." Hana laughs. "Well, you are supposed to bite the fish eventually."
"That sounds wonderful!"
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"That's great!" Yua affirms, of sisters and their nests. "And you'll be a big help, too...!"
But then -- special friends. "Oh, it's romantic between them, too," Yua says, and it's a little complicated, the expression in her eye, before she smiles again. "... but he knows I came first, so it's okay! I handle all our appointments, with all four of us... I've got a big binder! Whenever someone's going on a date, it's in the binder! So if someone's missing, just check the binder...!"
She means a trapper binder, probably, and not the other kind.
Still... does that mean Yua schedules out all their dates?
She doesn't seem to realise how controlling that comes off as, at least.
"Mm, mm, she is fierce!" Yua adds, speaking of Tyrrha. "She has a grumpy face, but she's really a sweet girl. She's a little odd, by city standards, but she's really trying her best! Did you know that the first day she came back from school, she asked us for a bike so she could join a Bike Club? A club! For bikes! Ahhh, they're so cute...!"
Kids, she means.
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Hana smiles back at Yua. "I've done my best. It was very kind of her to reach out and let me help... since that's something your sister-in-law does."
Special friends! Yua's complicated expression makes sense to Hana, anyway. "Aaah," she says. "That's much more difficult," she says. "I'm not sure I could do it." She comes first... and she handles their appointments? "Oh," Hana answers, "How organized!" Hana is thoughtful at that. "For us, it's... Well, mostly we like to have fun with our friends," she says, "And that's all it is. It's a little complicated, though; I have..." She considers. "I'm not sure I'd be ready to be with a woman again, if it were romantic," Hana settles on saying. "But seeing a friend I can do."
She considers. She's not going to call Yua out on being a little controlling, if that's how it is, but, "It sounds like you're very conscientious about it. Is it hard?"
She asks the last one gently.
"A bike club! How nice! It's good that she's already making friends, then. I can't recommend getting out therre enough to young people..." Pause. "Well, not that we're not still fairly young. Even if I am almost twenty-five." Siiiigh.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"You're being kind, too," Yua reminds Hana, smiling to her. It's not just a favour to her, after all...!
"Oh... is it hard?" Yua wonders, with a crease in her brow. "I can kind of understand... something happened that made that harder for me, too. But I wasn't about to let it get between me and my King," which is apparently just how she talks about Miho in public, "so..."
She smiles, shaking her head. "... it is hard," she admits. "If society were different, we'd be faithful to each other... but since the world can't accept us, we need to keep a finger free for someone else." Her ring, she means. ... she must have realised it's not just hers she'll need to accept, eventually. "Unfortunately, I can get really jealous... I guess since I rely on her so much, like... like, I'm not well, so she has to take care of me when I'm sick, too. When I never knew when I was leaving, or whether she'd be there when I got back... I felt really insecure, and I'd always get overwhelmed. Especially since... well, you can imagine how Kimi-san's parties are. Even before I realised he was bad, he was always giving me some reason why I couldn't tell her what happened..." ... and it's not hard to imagine that he ended up making the whole situation ten times worse.
She smiles, though, thinking of Tyrrha. "There's no danger of her not getting out... I worry more about getting her in at the end of the day! Ah, but you're getting to that age?" Yua wonders, brow creasing with concern. "I know it's complicated for you, but... your man's at least devoted to you, right...?"
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
"I do my best," Hana says simply. She smiles back, though. It seems she's willing to accept that.
Her King... Miho likes that, of course. But Hana notes it with some interest. But at first Yua asks whether it's hard--then she clarifies that it is.
"I see..." A 'finger free'. Hana understands immediately. She must've realized, indeed. She doesn't immediately respond. She just listens, at first, nodding sympathetically. The way Yua is overwhelmed... the way he gives reasons.
"I'm sorry," Hana says gently. "...It is nice, that Tyrrha has so much energy, at least. But... I am. It's funny. I wasn't even worried about it before I started transitioning, but all of a sudden it's a huge matter. ...he is devoted, though. He loves me. And I love him. ...Even if we might or might not be able to get married, we..."
She shakes her head, and looks out to the ocean. "It's different for us," she explains then. "Both of us... Ah..." She hesitates to explain, but then says, "I'm used to casual encounters--making friends that way, sometimes. It's how I know... him." Yua's husband. "But my heart's soft, and it was even before I realized what kind of heart I have. So I love romance, too. If I know he's coming home with me at the end of the day... It's fun."
"That's why we can have others involved without being jealous. I'm actually spending... time... with someone he used to date. She supports our relationship a lot--was encouraging us to move in together."
A sigh. "But that's just background to say.. I understnad," she says. "Being sick. I was in hospital yesterday," she explains. "I had a bad reaction to some medication, and..." The taller woman gestures. "But my health isn't great in the first place. I don't have to rely on him the same way you do her, but I can understand a little all the same. And I'd have to get used to the same idea, if..."
'Well. 'If'."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua listens to Hana's account, but she frowns, as she goes on; she's troubled. Concerned. "Mm..."
She knows about Kimitake's lack of faithfulness, yes.
"Of course you should get married," she insists, at length. "Especially if you know what it's like being sick! You can't rely on people who are only here for a fun time if something happens, you know? Mooouu... hearing stuff like that, I'm really worried about you...!"
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Concerned!! But...
Hana gets a pained expression on her face at Yua's insistence. "I can't," she answers. "...Or rather... I can't marry him, right now," she says. "Legally, I'm still male. Which means I could theoretically marry a woman, even looking like this. ...But not the man I love."
"To do that, I have to go through some changes I... haven't, yet. And while sometimes I really want to do just that... sometimes I'm not as sure. It's a scary prospect, all that surgery..."
"...Mm," she says. "I see what you're saying," she says. "But I'm only really relying on the ones I can trust. Teruo-kun, especially. He says he'll accept whatever I choose. And I believe him."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"You can't give up just because it's scary!" Yua insists, shaking her head. "When women like us are in love, we need to do what we need to do! Even if it rends the sky and scars the seas, if there's a scrap of a hope for a certain tomorrow, you've got to be willing to go that far! Even if you have to do awful things! Even if you have to see the worst people--!"
Is she still talking about surgery?
There's certainly conviction, in her garnet eye, as she leans on her hands to tilt her weight forward and stare into Hana's own spirit.
She at least realises how much she's said a moment later; her weight rocks back into her space, settling back onto her thighs, as her hands curl up around her. "Oh, um," she says, her gaze dropping away as she rubs at an arm. "Excuse me... it's really not my business to say it so passionately... I'm sure you have your reasons, right? I... I'm sure you'll be fine, Kotoba. You're a perfectly normal woman, so..."
Yua doesn't sound like she's making fun of her, as she tells her that.
Because she isn't.
A woman so fond of binders knows how to keep track of them, but Hana's file is pretty negligible, all in all.
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Hana blinks in surprise at that sheer passion out of Yua. "I--"
Awful things? ...Worst people...? Hana sees that conviction, but if anything it seems to startle her, the way she stares into Hana's spirit. "Ah, that's..."
A perfectly normal woman...
"No, I'm not," Hana says quietly. "I'd like to be. But people know I'm not. And sometimes they act on that."
She looks down. "It's..."
"It's not that I'm giving up," she says. "It's that I don't know what I want. There are reasons for either side..."
"I don't mind that you're passionate," Hana says, "But..."
"I just don't think I'm as strong as you are, Yuarin. I can't see myself rending skies or scarring seas." Metaphorically, right? ...Probably. "...It's just, because I already have weird reactions to a lot of medical things, that I'm sort of afraid of the surgery..."
"And that's just one thing."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Yua shakes her head. "I know why you'd say that," she says, though she's only really intuited the surface of it all. "But you need to believe me... there's a world where there's no one more normal than you. So... that's why I know you'll be okay. So long as you keep your head down... you'll really be okay. I promise!"
She sounds so earnest, but... there's an edge of stress, to her words.
"Mm... but maybe you won't believe me, since people can still attack you anyway, but... oh, how do I..." She makes a frustrated noise, as she shakes her head. "Just believe me!" She insists, again, instead, as her right hand clasps over that decoration on her left.
... is she hiding something?
"But... surgery is scary," she sighs, her shoulders sinking with the breath. "I remembered mine, recently, too... so it's not like it's weird to be scared of it or anything. Probably even normal surgery's scary, right...? They don't tell you what's going to happen, or what they're trying to do... and they put you to sleep, and... you can't ever go back, and... it means they can do all sorts of things to you."
Is -- is that how surgery works?
"What's the other thing?" Yua wonders, gently.
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
As long as she keeps her head down... "I can only do so much of that," she says. "Since... my audience knows my history." A pause. "But a world like that, is there...? Hm."
Just believe her. "Sure. Maybe there is such a world."
It seems harmless to indulge that one thing. But--
The surgery. Yua has had surgeries, too, apparently. That's not entirely surprising, given her eyepatch, but still. "I'm sorry," she says. "That sounds even worse than 'regular' surgery. ...But yes. It can go wrong so easily... and it's such a big surgery, and such a big change. And no, I couldn't go back, not even if I decided I wanted to."
"...Which means I have to be sure, right?"
But the other thing? Hana hesitates. "There's kind of a lot of things," she says. "Some of them are personal... and some of them you probably don't want to hear about."
"...I'll always be 'abnormal' no matter what," she says. "I tried to just marry a woman, keep things simple... and it didn't work out. That's what made me decide to go for it, actually. I realized... Life can be short. You shouldn't just put things off that are important to you."
"I could still have kids," she explains. "Eventually, the hormones make that a lot harder... But I haven't been on them that long."
"But that means they wouldn't change my gender marker for at least twenty years, no matter what."
"So I'd be 'halfway' still..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"It's less about being known, and more, mm, more about... what you want to know?" Yua tries to explain the shape in the darkness. "As you are now, you're fine, so... sorry, I shouldn't talk about it."
It's for that reason that Yua doesn't elaborate on irregular surgery, either.
"If it's something you chose," she asks, instead, "would you really go back on that choice? Do people decide to change their genders and then change them back a lot? Mm, even if they did, a lot of times it would just be because being in the closet is easier, right...? Like when bians aren't accepted by their families, so they can't get adopted..."
Hana talks about children, though. "Mm... so... they can't give you surgery to let you carry a child?" She asks, a touch clueless about that aspect. "Ah, but they would take what you have... so... you wouldn't be able to have one biologically, um... right?"
Yua sighs, looking down at her belly. "... actually, I'm one of those difficult women," she admits, suddenly. "I've been really bad at carrying Hiroki... I get sick all the time, even though I try to be really careful and manage my stress super good. Now Tykko's in my life, I... I really wish I'd just adopted a child to start with, you know?" She looks ashamed, admitting that. "I love Hiroki more than my life... I... I went through things I can't even say in polite company, just to keep him. But Tykko isn't less important because she came into my life when she was older... I don't love her any less. There's a lot of feelings in this country about birthing a new generation, but... children are children."
She bites her painted lip, looking up to Hana again. "... you're vulnerable, sitting half-way. If I go to hospital... my King has no rights to me. Kimi-san's the one who'll make every call related to my health... because he's the one I married. Even being able to see me... it's something he controls. If you're someone who gets sick... I really think you should sincerely consider marrying legitimately, you know...? Or, the person who might end up deciding those really important things... it won't be your man."
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
What she wants to know...? As she is now? Hana tilts her head. "...All right," she says, dubiously, but more because she's being polite than because she understands. She doesn't understand. But--
"No," Hana says. "I'd rather be as I am now than try to be a 'man' again. For the most part I'm happy even now. Just... there are a few things that could be better, is all."
Pause. "Yes," she says. "That's more commonly what happens. People don't change their natures so easily. They just change what they're willing to tell other people."
And of course, to her, these things are 'nature'. That goes without saying to Hana.
"They can't," Hana says. "They can give me surgery to have the... Well, the most obvious parts," she euphemizes, "And that's actually very good--it becomes very much like any other woman's. But that isn't something they can do." A pause. "Right. What I have now still... functions," she says, with another euphemism, "So as long as that's true... It's an option."
One of those difficult women...? Ah. Hana looks sympathetic, rather than judgemental. "I see," she says. "I'm sorry." She considers. To adopt...
"Mm," Hana answers. "That makes sense. I suppose that's the other factor... for better and for worse, I won't be doing that work." The work of childbearing, that is. Still, "I can tell how serious you are, at least."
But vulnerability...
She shivers, at the prospect of Kimitake having choice over her health. "I see what you mean," she says. "Well..."
She reaches for Yua's hand, to squeeze it if Yua will let her. "Thank you. I'll try to benefit from your experience."
"We have had some difficulties," she admits. "In getting a place together... Because as far as a lot of people are concerned, we're both 'single men'. I've thought of a few ways to get around it..."
"I'm not sure that would change, with the certificate, but I hope it would." The gender recognition certificate, of course. "Ah, well. You know a lot of my secrets now, Yuarin. I'll keep yours, too."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"If you're happy like this, you've got to move forward!" Yua encourages her, firmly. "Even if they can't give you a womb... you could be dead in twenty years, you know? That's a long time!"
Even a normal person like Hana might be at risk of not running out that clock.
But why does Yua think of saying she could be dead in twenty years...? Eh... she's always wearing black... is she just some sort of goth...?!
"Though," she adds, her face a touch flush with embarrassment, "even if I'm encouraging you to go all the way, I... er, it's a little improper, and I can't really talk about the details, but... if that business still functions for you, it's kind of a bitter victory for me. Since I knew a woman who insisted I should like men instead of being how I am... but you have what men have, and you're a woman, so... even if she made any sense at all, she'd still be wrong, you know? Because there's women like that, too..."
She buries her face in her hands, as she squeaks out: "Sorry!"
But she tilts her head, as Hana points out that she can't do the work. "That's another thing," she says. "Those, errrrr... casual friends of yours... would they really carry a child for you? Fooling around is a lot different to carrying a baby, you know? It's a lot of work. And even if you had one, it wouldn't be your man's, so would you be asking them to carry two babies so that he could have one of his own too? With Mimi, I can carry her egg, and we -- well, it's a little illegal, but we paid a man from the islands to help us out -- so that's how we did it... but it won't work the same for you." Yua sighs. "Even with us, I'm having to figure out if I can survive to give them a child of their own... she's an Olympian, so she can't just change her body so easily, but... Tomo-kun might want his own son, and... I should give her as much of me as I can, while I still can. But Kimi-san wants a son, too, so... well, they're difficult questions."
Here's a difficult question: is twenty years too long for Yua to expect to live?
She takes Hana's hand, squeezing it in turn. "I'm just worried," she says, again. "I don't really think I understand all of how your life works... I'd only just heard rumours about how movie stars were, and Tomo-kun said they were all rumours, but... mm, maybe it's normal for people like us? I, um... I wouldn't really know, since... I've loved my King since we were in high school, so I've never even looked at anyone else." And she's worried about Hana being in trouble?! "Since the Ijuuins have a lot of money, we don't have to worry about things like renting, but... it can be really hard, right?"
Yua smiles, looking from Hana's hand up to her again. "It's okay," she assures her. "Having secrets just means you're a real woman... that's much more important than having a womb. After all, there's women who need to have theirs taken out... but you wouldn't call them less women for it, because they've got all those things written on their bones."
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
It is a long time. But Yua might be a goth. Or she might be assuming things about their respective illnesses; Yua's must be very serious indeed. "Mm..."
But... the business. "That's true," Hana says. "Some women won't prefer to be with someone like me--and a lot of men, for that matter. My man and I actually met at a gay bar... so we both sort of were comfortable already."
Pause. "But it's all right," she says. "If I can contribute to some horrible person is wrong, then I'm happy to do that." Hana smiles, though it's a little hesitant--this isn't a subject she's done a lot of smiling over. "I get it, though--I've had people assume all sorts of things about what I 'should' do that are none of their business."
As for the friends... "That's complicated," Hana answers, with a wince. "The subject's come up, but we've never... I mean, she's encouraging me with Teruo-kun, as I said. It's just... complicated."
She listens about her body, though. Hana frowns, as she considers it. Not the illegal part, but, "I'm glad you found a way... but you shouldn't have to..." She almost says something very imprudent. "Yes, that sounds very difficult," she settles on instead. "Especially with pregnancy being difficult for you."
Movie stars. "Ah, hah... That is kind of a rumor," she says. "It's less because we're in show business and more because... I got used to certain ways of doing things when I was a man, and I just sort of... kept, doing some of them that way, when I started becoming a woman. It's easier to spend 'time' with gay people because you don't have to explain as much... But um, the way Teruo-kun and I live, that's why it is how it is. It's easy for us to separate those kinds of things because of that set of experiences... though he's dated more women than I have, which I suppose is part of why he was attracted to me in the first place..."
"Oh, wow, though. No... I couldn't stay with my first boyfriend," she says. "In high school I was seeing this boy... but he regretted it," she says with a sigh. "He pushed me away. That was before I knew I could be attracted to men and women."
"But that's sweet, isn't it? I think I learned a lot of important lessons, being with so many different people... But having one 'true love' is what the stories are all about."
She pauses. Secrets, and... "Mm, that's true," Hana says. "I don't think anything of the kind."
"But maybe we can worry over each other, then. I won't feel as bad with you worrying about me if you let me show some concern over you regarding that man."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"I wouldn't be with you, but it's not because of your downstairs, or anything like that... I'm only interested in my King!" Yua insists, and that sentence started terribly but by the end it's clear that Yua's damage lies somewhere else entirely. "If I pretend I was someone else, you know... I bet that woman could think you were cute? Even though I'm pretty sure you're a cat, too, so it would never work..." Yua clearly hasn't hung out with the community terribly much, because she doesn't seem to realise that kind of implicit question is a little rude. "I don't like men, but it's not like women don't have... you know, in the modern era... um... never mind," she mutters, disappearing into her hands again.
Yua breathes out, as she peeks out from her hands to add: "I think women like you really throw a spanner into her works, you know? Since it's not as simple as things being one or the other... a lot of people in that circle have some pretty backwards views about how women should be, and who women should like, and what women should be, too."
Funny she should use the word 'circle'...
Her hands make a poor mask, as they lower, even as she hides herself with another squeak a moment later. "Oh -- oh no, I'd never--!! I mean, I'd never want to! You can do it with science, like, like -- injections and stuff! I-V-F!" That's what she finds so alarming...?
"Oh... so that's normal for men? Mm... I guess Para-Mind's like that, too..." That's a name that's been heard around the scene too, though it's certainly a stage name. "But isn't it, you know... dirty...? If you're with all those people, they could have something... I had such a scare when I thought something might have passed from my King to Hiroki through Tomo-kun, before he went to the doctor and got checked!" And it's certainly a view of casual encounters that's been said before, in certain conservative corners; Yua might be trying to reach out to Hana, but there's still ideas in her own head about it all. "And even more when... well, I didn't mean to."
That's ominous.
"Oh... but you were rejected?" Yua scowls, with concern. "That's awful... I'm afraid I was on the other side of that one. My King was seeing someone else, but when I was talking about how I'd learned girls could kiss each other, she left him so she could get together with me right away... he was terribly upset, and so was the whole school, really. They were very cross I was so blatant about it... they put a dissected frog in my bag after science class, and stole my books, and pushed me over, and threw my pointe shoes in the toilet, and that was a big deal for me back then since my mama and papa didn't really have that much money. But with us, it was fate, so... even if it upset everyone, we had to be together! We would have been together either way, we were already best best best friends... but I guess she was waiting to see if I liked girls before she asked to be with me like that?"
Is that why she'd rant about scourging the skies and seas for her love...? Certainly, it was an early lesson.
Yua smiles, a touch uneasy. "It's okay," she says. "There's... a lot of worrying things I say if I'm not lying as much, right...? If it's not out of your way... it's okay, really."
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Hana finds Yua's statement a little awkward at first--it did start terribly. But no, "It's good to be sure of what you want," Hana says diplomatically instead. She laughs faintly despite the rudeness at being 'a cat'; Yua disappears into her hands, but Hana smiles. "Thanks," she says. "I appreciate it." A beat, "And it's true, it probably wouldn't work out."
But women like her... "Mm," Hana answers. "Differences can do that with people. Of course, I may not be much better... But I at least think women should like who we choose."
Squeak! Hana is relieved when she looks back at Yua. "I hadn't assumed, but... that's good. You should never have to do 'that' with someone who hates you."
Para-Mind, though. It's a very distinctive name. "Oh..." Dirty. Hana gets a complex expression on her face. She gets it, but it is a little uncomfortable. "Well," Hana says, "It can be dangerous, if you're not careful. But most of the places I went, you have to be able to prove you don't, in order to go in--and of course, protection does a lot. On top of that, these days it's just people I trust directly..."
She didn't mean to. That is ominous. Hana looks concerned, but doesn't pry.
"Mm, yes. I've had some difficult times with relationships," Hana says simply. "Good times, too. But still."
She listens. "Mm. We weren't nearly so open," Hana contrasts her experience. "I hid it from most people, in fact. But my parents were supportive." She frowns, hearing those things. It's not surprising, but, "I'm sorry."
"Fate, hm?" Hana smiles, and it's a little easier despite all the... everything. "It's not fate with me and Teruo-kun, I think. ...Luck, maybe. Maybe that means we have to fight a little harder in some ways... But it's worth it, too."
"But that makes sense. If you really love someone... You'll be with them one way or another, if you can. If not one way, then a different way. The line between friends and lovers..." She muses on it.
Then she shakes her head. "It's fine," Hana says. "You do worry me a little," she admits. "But we both have things to worry about. It's not out of my way at all. It's what friends do."
She smiles. "Besides," she says. "On one level it's kind of fun to explain some of these things."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Though... it's funny?" Yua wonders, Hana's diplomacy having sailed merrily over her head. "I wonder if I would have been different, if my King wasn't such a forceful woman... I read something once which made me think I'm a lot more forward than cats are supposed to be..."
And then she snaps out of her thoughtfulness, eye widening as she listens to herself. She yelps: "... eeyah! W-what am I saying?! Sorry, sorry! That's not an appropriate thing to say to an acquaintance at all--!! Haa, I just don't meet a lot of women like me..." Let no one say Yua is a gold star lesbian; women loving women who still prefer loving men is normal, in her eyes. She's the weird one!
She nods, though, and insists, on those women who hate them: "That's right!"
Yua, though, can't entirely get on board with Hana's way of life; she has her own prejudices around it all. "Mm... so it's like that?" Yua asks, though she frowns. "I'm not sure you're really encouraging the right morals... but I guess it's at least different if it's just a few friends. You know, that modern kind of view... unfortunately, I guess it's also kind of how I'm living my life." And not just with Tomoki.
But it's far too improper to get into that.
Being 'that kind of woman'... her grandmother would be ashamed of her, but that's not the only lesson she left her with.
"Having to date a lot does sound hard, though," Yua says, sympathetically, and at least does not add that it must have been even harder with Hana being an easy woman. "And hiding it, too... but I'm really glad your parents were nice. Mine are nice, too!" She adds, smiling again. "Well, if it's any consolation, I did realise it was impossible to live so openly when I was an adult... we can't talk about who we are that plainly."
"It's important to fight for love," Yua adds, smiling to her. "It's interesting, right? I worry about that sometimes... but I'm sure loving your friends is different!" And Yua, at least, doesn't sound worried about saying something like that...
"... it is interesting to get to talk about it," she admits. "I mean... I talk with my King all the time, but... most of my friends are very, you know... they have husbands, and if they want to talk about anything else, it's how attractive the male movie stars are...?" She's saying that all her friends are TRAGICALLY straight. That's the thing which she is saying.
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Is it funny? Hana smiles when Yua wonders it--that kind of question is interesting to her, for her own reasons. She laughs a little when Yua apologizes, "It's fine, it's fine. It's natural to wonder. I'm definitely more like that because he's like he is..." She nods. "It's fine," she assures Yua. "I don't mind talking about that kind of thing if you don't."
At least there's something they can umambiguously agree on. As to the rest, well...
"Hmmm." The right morals? Hana would be inclined to push back on that a little... but instead she sees that Yua is doing something she doesn't want to do. "Well," Hana says, "It's a secret, in any case. We share a few of those now, don't we?"
'That kind of woman'...
"It had its ups and downs," Hana agrees of dating. "Sometimes good, sometimes bad. The ones who go behind your back, who decide commitment is too much... But it was nice, in other ways. I have a lot of good memories, too."
"I'm living openly now, more or less," Hana says. "...Not completely, but partly. It wasn't entirely my choice, but still."
And to fight for love is important. Hana lifts a hand--flexes her fingers, then places it back on her knee again, thoughtful. "Maybe." It's different.
"Ahhh, yes," she says. "I see. It's hard, not having anyone to talk to about... these things, isn't it? Except your partner."
"But there's a whole community out there, if you can manage to be part of it. ...People who understand. Maybe I can be that for you." Even if Yua has some... old-fashioned ideas. Is that such a surprise? Well...
"I don't think of myself as a fighter in general," Hana admits then. "But maybe if I were, love's what it would be for."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm, mm! You want to bring out the best in him, right?" It's important for partners to be complimentary...!
But how, Yua wonders, can partners compliment each other when they're casual? Perhaps that's another reason why she has a negative view... though Hana, at least, is saved from the worst of Yua's scorn by the fact that she does have a romantic core to her arrangement.
"We do," Yua admits, of secrets, with a light sigh. "Kimi-san would be mad at me for saying so much so soon after I met someone... even I'm not sure why I'm saying so much. Maybe it's just because I can't really hide him getting mad, with you...? You know, since you know how he is already..."
She looks quite worried, hearing about Hana's experience dating. "Commitment allergies?! What an awful experience!" She exclaims, hands clasping together. "Moouuu... I'm glad there were at least better people, too. What a difficult situation! No wonder Recchi's had trouble outside of the stage..." The world of dating sounds terrifying, to Yua.
"I guess it's not for me," she sighs, fiddling with her wedding ring as her brow knits. "Being open, I mean. I tried, but... it didn't work out." And that must mean, in turn, that she's not terribly connected to other bians either, judging by Yua's wan smile. "I mean, I know one or two people, but... with a lot of these things, I just have to look it up online, it's not really something you talk about. Um, I know certain people are called bians, though... I heard that word in high school! Well, I heard 'les', and I looked it up, and I guess that's a mean thing to say, since they said you should say 'bian' instead..."
Yua shakes her head, smiling to Hana. "It's okay," she assures her. "I... I'm not very brave, either. Not fighting's a lot safer, right...? It's just... when it's this hard... I can't help but be a little stubborn."
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
"That's true," Hana agrees. "...And he's so good at being that way." Hana is glad to be able to bond on that one--but then, there are other matters that might take longer to get Yua to understand, if she can manage it at all. ...She'd hate to leave Yua alone to Kimitake though, even if she does have her King, too.
"He'd be mad at you anyway," Hana points out. "...That's what I think, anyway. He's just an angry kind of man. You can mistake anger for passion for a little while, but... not forever."
"Mm. I invited a guy to go to a wedding with me, and he broke up with me the same day." But there were better people. And Recchi must be another friend! "I'm satisfied with it. It's led me places I want to be. Like where I am now."
"It's hard," Hana says when Yua says it just didn't work out. But that lack of connection... "Mm. Well, we can talk about it. I don't mind." A beat, "That's right! To both. I'm not sure why one's good and the other isn't," she admits. "But it's how it is. And you know a few other things, too--things I've heard you say."
But Yua reassures her, in turn. "...It's much safer," Hana agrees. "I don't want to be hurt again."
She closes off at that, for just a moment--before she decides instead to say, "Then good luck, Yuarin."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"She is, too..." Yua's sigh, here, is positively dreamy. Oh no! She's still so cute!!
But what is the difference between anger and passion? Yua frowns, looking down at her wedding ring, expensive enough to be a distant dream for lesser men. "He buries everything down inside," she says, quietly, "but instead of being put to rest, it just rots... that's what I think."
Can something really be 'put to rest,' if it's buried, that way?
Yua doesn't stop to explain.
"Oh," Yua frowns, sadly, hearing Hana was broken up with that day. She at least smiles, for Hana, when she says she's satisfied. "Well... that's good!"
As much as some of these things worry her, she doesn't want Hana to have an unsatisfying life.
"It's, um... er... I'm not sure, either!" Yua admits, after a touch of hesitation, and it really underlines how isolated she is from the people like her. "But they say it's a terrible thing to say... like how people are being mean when they say they're normal. Honestly, I'm not always sure about that one..." Yua sighs, shaking her head. "... but I'm really not trying to do anything... bad."
It's a risk, isn't it? Even if she doesn't like being Kimitake's wife, Yua is, and she's evidently been steeped in that same intolerant culture.
If not something worse.
Was Yua trying to warn her, back there...?
... but there's something terribly lonely, to her elegance, despite all her cheer.
"Thanks. You stay safe, too, okay?" Is how Yua smiles, hearing that. "You're really a kind woman, Kotoba... so get your happiness!" This, she emphasises by saying it in English -- and surprisingly good English, her audible punctuation decorated by the flowers in her beaming portrait. "Ahh, I hope I didn't tangle you up too much... the beach is for unwinding, after all! Hey, hey, take this, okay?" She says, as she opens up her handbag and pulls out -- an empty abalone shell! Handing it over, she says: "I found a tokobushi shell washed up today... back home, women use them to harvest asa grass from the rocks on the shore! That's good work for women, so I bet if you take this with you, you'll have good luck too!"
(And does that imply, then, that there is bad work for women...?)
She looks at the shadow cast by her hand and that shell, though, on the sand below. "... oh! But it's getting close to lunch, isn't it?!" She realises, and it's notable, perhaps, that she notices based on the thin length of their shadows. Handing that shell over, she digs around for her phone, too, to check --
"Eek! It's already past twelve! My class starts at two...!"
Yua wasn't watching the time...
<Pose Tracker> Hana Fukami has posed.
Yua's definitely cute.
As Yua gives her opinion, Hana watches her. The way Kimitake is... "Mm..."
Hana smiles back on th brighter topic at least. "It is."
But Yua's not sure either, and it does underline that, but, "Some things just are because they are. "Mm, nobody wants to feel they're not 'normal', right...?" Pause. "You're not."
But while it's a risk, Hana is inclined to take it. That loneliness...
"Thanks," Hana answers. "Oh! English, no less!" A little laugh. She does understand it. "If you put it that way, then I have to, don't I?"
"You didn't," Hana says, and she's not sure it's true, but it's the proper thing to say. She does feel a little tangled...
"oh!" A shell! Hana accepts it with both hands. "Well, thank you!"
But it is getting close to lunch, and indeed--
Hmm. That's interesting, about the shadows.
"Ahah... then don't let me keep you," Hana says. "Take care, Yuarin. We'll talk again."