2026-10-25: Jealousy
- Log: Jealousy
- Cast: Yua Ijuuin, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Aoba General Hospital
- OOC Date: October 25, 2026
- IC Date: January 30, 2013
- Summary: Ichika finally gets the chance to visit Yua (and HIROKI) in the hospital. The conversation covers catching up, unusual life choices, and relationships... until it suddenly gets very, very intense.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
Aoba General has a long-term resident in high-dependency care... oh, and a pre-term baby. The baby is asleep right now, though, leaving Yua's private room quiet, Hiroki's critical care crib to one side of the room and her bed to the other. There's a portable DVD player on the table with Destiny DVDs stacked up, a woven basket on the table at the back, and a weighted blanket slung over the bed. There are many cards, and flowers, and little balloons...
Yua, right now, is sitting up in her chair. Without her makeup on, her single visible eye looks a little gaunt; she hasn't slept well since she arrived here. She is more ephemeral than she was, and she won't be dancing any time soon. Her bun has been undone, revealing that the braid which comprised it is frighteningly long -- longer even than Ichika's hair once was. But... she seems well enough, if wispy, as she weaves at a basket in her hospital gown.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Knock, knock. Ichika knocks gently at the door to Yua's hospital room, having made her way over here after school, because she actually attended school today. She does that almost all the time, lately.
"Sensei?" she inquires, her voice quiet also. She's in uniform, with her usual dark makeup and exposed midriff even in the winter months.
When she gets a look at Yua, she'll smile despite the fact that her sensei is in worse shape--no, maybe because of it, to keep her mood up.
"It's Kawase."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Oh!" Yua exclaims, a touch surprised. "Kawase-kun! Hello! Please come in... just remember to wash your hands!!"
That never stops being a thing she worries about, or anything.
"Hiroki-kun is sleeping right now... you can have a look," she says, when Ichika steps inside. "Just don't disturb him... he needs sleepytime!" Hiroki's eyes are closed, pursuant to sleepytime, but there are a few wisps of green hair on his head, and his skin is dark, like Yua's -- a little darker, even. He's very small!
Yua is small, too. (Even before the IV tubing was attached to her, she was five foot nothing.) Still, she has one hand free enough to gesture to one of the visitor's chairs, once Ichika has seen BABY.
"He's doing well," she assures her. "He'll just need to stay here until he's closer to term... he came three months early!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Of course."
Ichika RESEARCHED preterm babies before she came here. She can do research, too! Not that she thought of it that way; she just 'looked up some stuff'. But indeed she washes her hands, her short nails much easier to clean than longer ones would be. "Thanks," she says, and then turns. Don't disturb him...
"Aaa," Ichika says quietly, and Yua may see her heart melt in real time. "He's so tiny but perfect," she assures Yua when she comes back over. "Three months early..." Wow. That's big.
Ichika, on the other hand, is huge. She's 5'7!" Over 170cm tall! Less obviously so when she sits down though. "I see. That's hard," she says. "But it seems like you're taking good care of him. I'm glad they let him stay in the room with you."
"But how are you?" she asks. She has a lot to share, herself--but it's only right to check in, first. And Yua looks...
Not her healthiest.
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"So perfect!" Yua heart bubbles, hearing Ichika melt.
It's okay, Ichika. She does it too.
"I need to make sure he's okay," she says, of being kept in the same room. (It was much more of a debate than that makes it seem like -- but the Ijuuin name goes a long way.) "This is too long to stay in a scary hospital..."
But speaking of staying a long time, Yua sighs. "Ah, as for me... there were some complications with the birth, and... my condition is still a little unstable. They'll keep me here for now... but don't worry, people are checking on me every day!"
She shakes her head, and smiles. "But what about you, Kawase-kun? You must be excited... you've almost graduated!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika has to make her heart go down to a normal level. He's a BABY and he's so CUTE. Only because Ichika is too tough for heart bubbles does she not show a few off, too.
But... "I'd feel the same, I think," Ichika reflects. Maybe not to the same degree, of course--Ichika doesn't know the Truth--but still... "That's rough," the sukeban tells the teacher. "Sorry to hear it. I hope you're out and dancing soon." A beat, "But I'm glad to hear it. I wanted to come see you in person and see if there's anything i should avoid before I sent stuff." She gestures to the flowers and cards.
But her! Ichika smiles back. "I am," she says. "I actually made it into a university! PIC, not that far from here. ...It's because of my friends, mostly. They helped me study so even with my history I could get it done."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Me, too," Yua sighs, thinking of all the dancing she can't do. "Right now, they won't even let me get up unless someone's there with me... they're worried I'll fall over again."
Again???
She smiles, though, as she says: "I like flowers!" She has SO MANY FLOWERS -- "I want my whole room to be full of flowers!" -- so not enough flowers, then.
Her hand lifts to her chest, as she gasps, hearing Ichika's news. "Oh, that's wonderful! You've worked so hard... I knew you could do it!! What are you going to study? Will it be journalism, like your newspaper?" Hey! Yua heard about that...!!
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Can't even get up... Ichika frowns. "I see. ...Falls can be pretty bad." Again means it's happened before and it was bad. "Must be hard not to have the freedom to get around."
But, Yua is smiling. "Then I'll definitely send you more flowers," Ichika says. "...My favorite's roses. You might've guessed." Thorn Boss, and all.
But, a gasp! "Thank you!" Ichika answers, and doesn't even sound super rude saying it for once. "I worked really hard, that's true. I'm going into journalism. You heard about that, huh? I'm really hoping they keep it up after I graduate..."
"But journalism helps people connect to one another. I think it's important, whether it's simple articles about what people are up to or like or the hard stuff like politics and world events. They're both important."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"It is a little challenging," Yua admits.
Probably more than a little.
"I love roses," she smiles, in turn. "I have my own bushes, at home... oh, those lovely red roses..." She sighs, for a moment, before she remembers that she'd best not say too much around her student.
Like who the roses are for.
"I'm sure they will," she assures her. "You've put so much work into it! I'm sure you'll be a great journalist... you know, my old senpai from school writes for 'Coolest' these days!" IT COULDN'T BE--???
"It's important for people to hear what's going on," Yua says. "And being the one to tell that story is a powerful role... I'm sure you'll treat it seriously."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
A 'little'.
But Yua loves roses. "Oh, wow," Ichika says, because rose bushes at home are really something. "Red are my favorite, too," she says. "Vibrant, colorful... even passionate, maybe." In her seat, she looks over some of the other flowers, thinking about it. But then she turns her head back to Yua. "I'm glad you think so--" Pause. "Really?" she asks. "...That wouldn't be Maya Amano, wouldn't it?" She's about the right age...
"Mm. ...It is. Who's telling the story matters a lot. I haven't always been the one who gets to tell it... so it's nice, to be the one now."
"...Also," she says, "I'll be moving in with my partner. Though I asked Mom if she needed help around the house, early on, too--she's due this month, see."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm, mm," Yua smiles. "Red roses for love...!" Yua has a bouquet of them, right beside her bed... did her husband send them?
(No. He sent over a bouquet of violets, the symbol of love between women. ... and for Yua, another symbol entirely. She's... pretended she isn't bothered.)
Rather than dwell on those, she sparkles, when she hears Maya's name. "Mm, mm! Yaa-yaa!" She... she calls Maya 'Yaa-yaa'...? And she sounds so cute when she does it... "We reconnected just recently! I'm so impressed with where she ended up!!"
Yua smiles, folding her hand over her restricted wrist. "Grasp power in both hands," she advises her, "though men will tell you to leave it to them."
Speaking of... men...? "Oh... you're getting serious! Have you chosen a mate?" That might sound weird, coming from anyone else, but Yua delivers it so sincerely.
"Your mama will certainly need help... it's quite difficult, with a young one. That's... why I'll be living with my cousin," Yua settles on, her smile dimming, a touch. "Unfortunately, Kimi-san's work keeps him very busy... but the rest of our family will support me, too!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Red roses... I see you have them here, too." Ichika smiles. That's nice. "So you get a lot of visitors?"
But--maya! "Oh!" Yaa-yaa. That's so cute, and Ichika smiles gently instead of grinning when she hears it. "That's how it is?" she asks. "Cool. I hope I can be half as good there when I get there... I mean, even if I might step back from the workforce, it's... important that I contribute there, somehow. If nothing else, I want to learn how."
Power. Yua says something very serious then, and Ichika looks at her thoughtfully. "...I'll remember that."
And, "Mm! Well, more serious than I used to be, for sure. We haven't made like... the big commitments yet, but I am really serious about them. I actually had two partners, but..." She trails off. "Anyway, yeah, we're really serious. There's some... logistics, we have to work out. Some things that I can't just leave to chance."
"Right. She doesn't want to ask too much of me, especially given my history, but I want to help. ...Besides, it's still I'll need to know how to do."
She pauses. Her cousin? And her smile dims at that? "...Hmm. I get it, but... I'd want a guy who can have time for me."
"It's cool that your cousin can help, and the rest of your family."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Mm! Mimi visits every day after work!! And Sister comes by often, too! Papa visits whenever he's able to get time off, and Father comes by once a week to check on me and make sure I'm being treated well... and lots of other people, too!"
But then -- commitments. "One is best," she advises her, sagely. "It gets rather too complicated, if one tries to honour too many people at once... will you marry them?"
There are things to learn, and...
"... I really don't mind," Yua says, a shadow falling over her eye as her head tilts. "You know what they say... it takes a village to raise a child!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Mimi visits all the time. Mimi, her cousin, who she's going to live with. ...While her husband can't. Hmmm...
"Oh, that's great," Ichika says. "Seeing your parents is really nice. I'm lucky to get along well with mine, too."
One is best, Yua advises, and Ichika hedges a little, unsure. "I didn't mind having two," she says, "But... It wasn't 'even'," she settles on.
"But yeah, I might, if we can. It's not... possible, right now though. They're.. I mean, they're not a woman," she says, "But they're not a man, either. So it's complicated. And I can't, like... I wouldn't be able to do it like you did it, so..." IVF. "I'm still figuring out what it all looks like," she says. "...And yeah, most people my age are just thinking about having fun, not about the future. So that's anothre thing. ...But even though I want to finish university before I do most of that..."
"I want to be thinking ahead, to that time. You don't want to get there and realize you haven't prepared, right?"
But Yua doesn't mind... "Mm. I guess that's true," she says. "...But you seem especially happy about one person helping you. And I don't think it's the same, exactly, as my situation..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"It's wonderful to hear you have a good relationship! Both sets of mine are very good to me, too!" Yua chirps. "Oh, I mean... all three!"
Huh? Three sets of parents...?
"Oh, that's natural," Yua advises her, then. "Did you know that in the old days, when men had many wives, you referred to the 'seishitsu' and the 'sokushitsu'? Your wife at court, and your wife in the home... back then, the sokushitsu's children would refer to the seishitsu as their mother, as if she had birthed them herself. So," she spreads a hand out, "you see... there has always been a heirarchy, and not only in a union between two partners. When someone is courting more than one, those people must arrange their primacy amongst each other, or jealousy will enter your house."
Still... not a man, and not a woman. Her hand rests at her chest -- avoiding falling in her lap -- as she pauses, for a moment, quiet. "They must choose to be men for the world if they're serious about you," she decides, at length. "As a woman, it's very difficult... you'll both need partners for the world, particularly if you want one of your own." Babies, one presumes. "Well, if you're a woman, sometimes you make that decision... and for some families, there are ways around it. Adult adoption can allow you to take a same-sex partner onto your family registry, for instance. But that isn't always acceptable... and there certainly aren't the same protections a marriage offers, either. Still, if one is neither a man or a woman, why not declare the most convenient one...?"
She pauses, looking from left to right. "... though... I would appreciate if you kept advice like this to yourself," Yua says, her smile growing a touch strained. "Widening your circle of intimacy, in number or in gender... well, I'm sure the education board would rather I not talk about such things. But... the politics of adults rarely keep up with the conversations between your peers, I think."
She pauses, again, a touch longer.
"... you're very perceptive," she settles on. "Let us say... that old families have many concerns for reputation... so to be adopted by the father of one's partner is not always a feasible thing, when you wish for children of your own. In a situation like that... you might be introduced to a cousin who's found himself in need of a wife, and... make your peace with the lies you will tell, to be close to the person you most care for."
She looks past Ichika, out through the window. "... something like that could happen," she says, distantly.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
All three! Ichika tilts her head at that. But Yua is advising her quickly after, so it doesn't immediately get an answer. Instead, she listens to the matter of wives...
"I see..." She considers. "It'd be nice if there could be equality," she says. "...But it seems like it would be harder to get." What her teacher sense makes sense to Ichika, after all. "The boyfriend I had before... I really like him. I hope we can still be friends."
Quiet... "They're thinking about that," Ichika confirms without going into detail. But as a woman...? Hmmm. Partners for 'the world'. "...I'm not sure they will," Ichika says, thinking of Tsubasa. "But it might happen that way for me." She has thought about it, after all. Actually, she's very sure Tsubasa won't need that, but...
Still. "Yeah." Why not choose that way? It's part of their logic, too. But Ichika isn't going to make that decision for them. It's theirs to make. As to the advice...
"Of course," Ichika says. "I didn't hear any of this from you." She can live with that. "...But that's about what it amounts to. A man who doesn't need me all to himself, but wants to stay involved... That's my ideal, I think. That'd be easiest on the kids."
But Yua says she's perceptive. And Ichika thinks about that. "Hmm..."
"I see," she says. "So that can happen..." It explains a lot of things, really. The roses; the cousin. How she acted around her husband at the wedding...
"..."
She looks down. "It sounds hard," she says. "Living like that. I guess I shouldn't say that. It's rude, to come in here and tell you what you're saying is difficult."
"..."
"...I wonder how many other people just like us are living in ways like that..."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"Equality simply isn't possible," Yua shakes her head. "I wouldn't even say it's desirable. When people don't know where they stand, they become anxious... where anxiety festers, jealousy follows. There are a dozen angers to manage, in the household... the root of one is fear."
Why does she speak of that as if it were so inevitably true...?
She smiles, though, to Ichika. "I am sure you'll still get along," she assures her, though of course she knows that's not always the way of things.
(She still remembers the frog.)
"What happens to one must in turn happen to the other," Yua cautions Ichika, gravely. "Though you may believe your partner can stand against the demands of society... perhaps even if they thought the same... you will find, one day, they are given the hand of another. They will take that hand," she says, a blade to her voice, flashing beneath the silk of her presentation. "On that day, jealousy may take its root in you, as well."
She's not looking at Ichika, really, so much as past her.
"Just as it grasped me."
And when her gaze does find hers, it is the greatest blessing that she only has the one eye -- so intense is her gaze, it might tear her in two, belly to neck. Ichika may realise, in this moment, that Yua is not only beautiful -- she is venomous, her expression cold and imperious, restraining her anger like a cage.
What happens when someone is wronged, and... adapts?
When there is no way to fight injustice, what happens to that inner voice which Ichika knew screaming?
Who do you become?
What you would have become --
Blink, and it's gone; blink, and she's put her smile on again. "Perhaps it's possible," she says, mildly. "To live in a modern way with a man who wants to be involved, but is happy to share. I won't say 'never', when tomorrow is yours to make. That would be nice, wouldn't it?"
She says the words, but she doesn't believe them.
"Well," she shakes her head, "what is rude is sometimes true, regardless of propiety. That's why I say it, dear. The way you'd like to live is difficult... someone ought to warn you. And it doesn't sound convincing from a 'standard' sort of person, does it?"
Yua takes a breath, and looks out the window, again. "... but it is not as uncommon as you think. Even as regards to your beau -- such a thing isn't unfamiliar to me. Why, even my nurse was not always a woman... she simply doesn't mention her past, by and large. And that is the way of things," Yua smiles, sadly. "On the mainland, you really must fit in... so there are things you say only in private."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Not possible? Ichika tilts her head again at this one, blinking once as Yua explains. It seemed natural to her that it would at least be desirable. But the way Yua says it...
"Fear and anger, huh? ...Well, that makes sense. I know he was kind of afraid..."
But they'll still get along, Yua assures her. "Yeah," she says. "I just... couldn't go halfway, you know? We were too serious to go back to 'just fun'."
Ichika never got a frog in her things.
Ichika is sure Tsubasa wouldn't need someone else in the same way--not a separate person anyway--but suddenly she isn't thinking only of her own situation, looking at Yua. She sees, feels that blade. Jealousy...
"..."
Ichika, were she not possessed of her own intensity, her own tempering through the flames of Rebellion, would surely be unable to meet that gaze. But that venom surprises her all the same, makes her own eyes widen. She is aware, suddenly, that this is not just a hypothetical, that this is not a nice situation to be compared.
...And then it's gone.
Never say never, but... Ichika opens her mouth and closes it. "I guess I'll see," she settles on, returning to her old politeness from before Kasu High as a defense.
Ichika could've ended up like this, indeed.
"Well..." Ichika nods. "Thanks then," she says. "I appreciate it." And maybe she's right about knowing where you stand. Maybe...
It's too scary to dismiss out of hand.
"...But I'll protect them, for sure," she says. "I will." Ichika says it like she would if she were swearing an oath--and maybe she already has.
"...Thanks for letting me see him," she says then. "I remember... when you said you were leaving school, I was worried I'd graduate and not get to see you or him."
"So thanks."
<Pose Tracker> Yua Ijuuin has posed.
"It's different to the anger born from scorn," Yua advises her, quietly. "Different, in turn, is anger born from love, and anger born from righteousness, and anger born from cruelty, and anger born from desire. Anger is the one emotion which cannot exist alone... it is a shadow, cast from a dozen flames, each one painted with the same brush."
She smiles, faintly. "It is good to be serious," she says. "I was serious about love at your age, too." Should she tell her not to worry about adult things so quickly? Well. Leave that to the Mayas of the world, Yua thinks; she considers it a kindness to appraise Ichika of reality.
And this, in turn, may be another thing which informs Yua's nature... if she's loved her partner since Ichika's loved hers. (How old is she? She has a kid, right?? She's gotta be SO old????)
Still, Ichika says she'll protect them. "Good," Yua smiles. "You will need a strong protector to survive a world which hates you... and the one protected must in turn ensure that protection does not shatter the protector whole, for weathering those blows will harden anyone's heart over time. In women, we speak of 'butch' and 'femme' this way... though perhaps there are other ways to think of it, for those who aren't women."
'A world which hates you'...
Is that... how Yua thinks of the world...?
"I'm pleased you came to visit," and her smile is kinder, now, less sharp at the edges. "I'll return to work in time, I hope... but by then, you'll be gone! Of course, if you still want to practice dancing, you're always welcome to book time in my studio...!"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
It's all very complex; Ichika isn't sure she entirely gets it. But she picks up the last part--that anger is anger for something. ...That it isn't alone.
But finally, someone doesn't tell Ichika to lighten up. That is something she appreciates. "Yes," Ichika agrees. "...I know what I want, at least part of it. I'm going to go for it." Pause. But then...
"It worked out for you at least some, huh?"
But those eyes a minute ago...
"Mm. ...I guess of the two of us, I'm definitely more 'femme'. So if it's like that..." She considers. "Well, we'll figure it out. I'm still thinking about what I should call myself."
It strikes her, though. A world that hatse them...
"I might just," Ichika says, book time. "And my little sister will get to see you at Gekkoukan, too."
"...Maybe I can come back some time, in any case. I'll definitely send you some flowers."
And, Ichika doesn't say, but is the reality behind the resolution in her eyes as she says it:
She'll fight this world that Yua is so sure hates her and them. ...She'll fight it, until it's better.