2025-08-04: Trying to Understand
- Log: Trying to Understand
- Cast: Ririka Kawase, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Kawase Family Household, Tatsumi Port Island
- OOC Date: August 04, 2025
- IC Date: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (Late Afternoon)
- Summary: After the attack on Kasugayama, Ichika travels to Tatsumi to meet Ririka at their family's house. They talk supernatural, Ichika's run-in with Eiji, and Ichika asks Ririka to make contact with a mysterious friend named 'Ogre'.
- Trigger Warning: Reference to Abuse
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Yesterday, Ririka had been headed to visit Ichika. Unfortunately, a landmine blowing up a motorcycle kiiiiind of derailed that plan. Not to mention everything happening at Kasugayama that day. As far as she is aware, though, Ichika was not there... at least, not as far as she could detect with her Navigator powers.
She'd helped Tsubasa get themselves and another boy up the stairs of the air raid shelter and call an ambulance. And then she'd texted Ichika to check on her and let her know what was up with Tsubasa.
Today, though, they'd decided to meet up not in Sumaru, but at their parents' house. Ririka wasn't entirely sure what SEES' policy on visitors was, but honestly, she'd also just wanted to spend some time at home to process the... everything that was the day before, so that was fine by her.
It wasn't too much trouble for her to get there after school, and currently she's curled up on the couch in the living room, wearing a white t-shirt with green sleeves and a pair of shorts. In her lap and spread out on the couch she's got several pages of sheet music, and on the stereo is some manner of J-Punk song blaring at a low volume.
Other than that, the house is quiet.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
A lot derailed yesterday, and the land mine was definitely one of them. Ichika didn't hear about that part until later, though--she was focused on the boy inside, on the Joker Killer, on Tsubasa after...
And on the fact that she could hear her sister's voice in her head. That was also new.
She is dressed fashionably today--a layered yellow over black tanktop with straps of yellow around her upper arms and red straps underneath on her shoulders. A short black skirt and yellow stockings with boots complete the look, along with some bangles on her wrists and earrings at her ears.
It's not her 'leave me alone' sort of sukeban outfit, anyway.
She opens the door--she has a key, obviously--and steps inside. "Ririka-chan?" she wonders, and then when she steps past the entryway--boots off now--she sees her.
"...Cool," she says. "You made it first. Not surprised."
"...How're you doing? You were around some scary stuff."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Being able to talk to other peoples' minds is also new to Ririka, let's be fair.
And she's seen the news reports, of course. And she knows that's not at all how things went down, but she's not sure how to feel about it. And she doesn't know what Ichika knows about yesterday, either.
Ririka looks up and flashes Ichika a small smile, then grabs the stereo remote and hits pause. "Hey, nee-san. Yeah, I just came right here after class." She told her band mates that she was going to go meet Ichika. That was all she needed to say.
She takes a deep breath. Lot of scary stuff. "Yeah." She's still trying to process it all, like that strange Persona, that weird touch on her mind... She shivers a little at the thought of it.
"... What've you heard? Because the news reports definitely aren't..." She hates to say they're lying, but... "Capturing the whole picture," she settles on. "How's Seki-san doing?"
After a moment she adds, "Mom's out shopping, so we can talk about... whatever."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika in turn told her crew she was going home to see her family. That was all she needed to say. So after that...
Ichika is thoughtful, looking at Ririka. "...That the Joker Killer was there," she answers. "It wasn't just song gang conflict. The school's crews at least aren't... bombers. They barely use weapons except to intimidate people. They definitely didn't carve up that boy." She still looks distant for a moment--blanches a little--at thinking of him.
"They're OK," Ichika says. "Out of the hospital now. Maybe a concussion."
A pause. "...Cool," she says.
"You have a Persona, don't you?" Ichika says. "You were involved, in all this... stuff."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
So she knows that much... Ririka nods, though, at the mention of the Joker Killer. "... yeah. And he had people helping him." She shudders again at the thought of that boy. "... yeah," she whispers.
"... it wasn't an improvised explosive, either," she adds quietly.
"A consussion... I'm glad it wasn't worse." Of course the boy was in critical condition, and... she trusted the news to get that right, at least.
She takes in a deep breath and slowly lets it out, nodding. "... Yeah." She takes the pages on her lap and gathers everything up on the couch into a neat stack, then stands up to stretch a little. "I was. It was... kind of intense. I still don't know what to make of it."
Then she looks to Ichika. "... if you know what a Persona is, then... you've got one too, right? If you've been fighting Demons and Shadows?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
People helping him. That boy... He sure wasn't helping.
"It wasn't?" Ichika asks. "I didn't see out there... That's worrying. If they're willing to strike at school..."
A shake of her head. "Me, too." She's glad it wasn't worse.
Ichika walks closer, setting down her purse and moving to the couch. When Ririka stands up, Ichika stays standing for now.
"It was," she agrees. And then--"Yeah. And I know some people who get involved in this stuff," she says. It's complicated; she has a disguise. She's not sure she should reveal that even to Ririka yet. But she probably will.
"Mostly demons. There aren't a ton of Shadows out in Sumaru. I gather they apepar more here in Iwatodai."
"...Anwyay, I'm not gonna tell you it's too dangerous to be involved or anything. We both know that already, I'm sure."
"But it means the Joker Killer's real. I know someone who's looking into him... I'll have to update him."
"...That's not all that's going on with me lately," she admits. "But it was... big. Seeing that boy hurt... It was bad."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
There's really no way to walk up to this. "Land mine. Motorcycle was real though. I..." she winces a little. "... saw it happen, on my way over." But striking at a school... "... yeah, that's... kind of scary. And finding out the Hoker Killer is real, too..."
She frowns a little at that. "You said you didn't see out there, but... does that mean you were there when it happened?"
When Ichika comes over to the couch, though, Ririka steps over to her to give her a tight hug.
Ichika knows some people. "I see." That's fine... Ririka knows some people too, doesn't she?
It's fine if they both have secrets from each other. But they should be able to share at least a little.
"Maybe so..." she remarks about Shadows. She's still coming to terms with all of this. She knows they're linked to Tartarus, but... she won't bring that up just yet.
Too dangerous... Ririka looks at Ichika with a slightly amused expression. "Yeah, you're only a year older than me. I'm pretty sure the same would apply to you, too."
"Yeah, I don't know... geeze, I thought htat was just some kind of urban legend but the fact that he's real..."
Not all that's going on. "Oh, shoot-- right, in all the craziness I forgot." She steps forward to give Ichika another hug. "You said you had a rought night, right? Do you wanna talk about it?"
She nods sympathetically. "... yeah. I'm just... glad we were able to get him to a hospital."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"A land mine?" Ichika asks. "Whoa. How do people even get that stuff?" Well, there's rumors you can buy guns in some places in Sumaru. Maybe land mines, too? "...Yeah. I knew he was real, but seeing him up close is another thing entirely."
"Mm-hm," Ichika says. Then, she accepts the hug, giving Ririka one in return. "..It's OK, sis."
But when they pull back, "I don't know much about Shadows, but I know Demons will kill you as soon as look at you. You can talk to them, but you have to be careful."
A laugh, then. "Yeah," Ichika says. "A few fights at school is one thing. This stuff...? It's way out there."
She pauses. "I only knew he was real because somebody was looking into him and seemed really serious. ...So it made sense that there was something to it. But that's not really my story to share."
But the craziness? "Ah, yeah..."
Ichika puts her hand behind her neck, rubbing for a moment, before she takes a seat on the couch.
"...So, i'm glad about that kid, too. But that night..."
"...I ran into Eiji on the way home from the concert."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"I don't even know!" exclaims Ririka. "But these guys clearly aren't playing around. I think they were expecting people to come help, so they had people outside..." She shivers a little. "The Persona he summoned wsa really weird." She pauses. "I mean, even weirder than normal for a..." She fought a giant head and one of her teammates' is a windsock with a hand sticking out. "... well you know."
Demons. "Yeah, okay. I'll... yeah, I'll be careful when I'm in Sumaru." And she'll keep that Evoker handy.
"Yeah, this was..." Ririka shakes her head. Well, they both know.
That night... Ririka's eyes widen. "Oh, shit." She hardly ever swears, especially at home. She sits down and tries to put an arm around Ichika for another hug. "I'm so sorry, nee-san. ... can I make you some tea, or get you rosmething to eat?"
She's trying to offer Ichika some time to collect her thoughts, rather than push her immediately for more details. And the tea might be soothing regardless.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"That makes sense. They really wanted to take out the Death Boss. ...I'm glad they didn't succeed. He's the best thing that's happened to that school in a while, I think." Pause. Even weirder than normal? "...Yeah. It was really messed-up."
But she will be careful! That's good enough for Ichika. She wants to help her sister... but their relationship just isn't one where she can push her around in the name of protection. It never has been.
Toshiaki was the protector.
But Ririka rarely swears--and it's pretty warranted this time. Ichika leans into the hug, and sighs. "It's fine," she says. "Tsubasa-kun got us out of there... But we ran into their ex, too."
"Eiji wanted to talk... He said he missed me."
"...It made me feel sick. It's... complicated..."
"...You know? I will take some tea. If that's not a problem."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"That's the guy from the concert, right? Eikichi Mishina-san? Why were they after him...? That's..." She frowns. "Did someone really want to kill him...?"
Ririka doesn't always display it, but... she can be pretty stubborn, in her own way. Pushing her on that isn't likely to garner any positive results. She wants to support Ichika, but trying to pretend all the supernatural stuff isn't real won't do that.
Toshiaki was, but... maybe they'll just have to follow his example now, instead.
She hugs Ichika tighter as she leans in. There's a wince at the mention of Tsubasa's ex. She doesn't know anything about who that might be, but... she's guessing it's probably not good news. "... You don't have to say it's fine if it isn't," she says softly.
She doesn't count 'feeling sick' as 'fine.' But she won't push the point either. "I'm glad Seki-kun was looking out for you, though."
There's a disgusted snort as it's revealed what Eiji wanted, and Ririka scowls. "Maybe that bastard should have thought about that before--" she cuts herself off. There's no need to get into that. She huffs and looks away. More gently she says, "... yeah, complicated sounds right..."
But she nods and gives Ichika an extra squeeze as she agrees to tea. "Okay. And it's not a problem at all. I've been practicing."
Ririka gets up and heads to the kitchen. This is an occasion that calls for Nice Tea, she feels like, and she gets to work. It's not as good as Ichika could do, but... it is better than some of her first attempts, and she does take extra care.
After a bit she comes back with a tray, setting it down on the low table in front of the couch. She offers a cup to Ichika before taking one for herself.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Yeah," Ichika answers, finally comfortable enough for her rougher style of speech that she picked up at Kasugayama. Not too rough--she's still polite--but not as super-polite as she used to be. "I don't know," she admits. "They say if you call your own number and give a name, the Joker will kill them. But... I don't know who'd have called, or why. He has enemies, but most of them would just try to rumble directly, right?"
Probably.
They'll live, regardless.
"I mean..." Ichika says, "I mean I'm not going to fall apart, like I did before. It's... fine, that way. It's not great, but I'm fine."
Maybe he should've thought about it. Ichika gloomily looks into nothing. "...Right," she says. "He should've. ...What he did, I can't forgive him."
"...But I..."
She trails off, and is quiet when Ririka goes to get the tea. It smells nice, anyway. And it will be good.
"Thank you," Ichika answers, and soothes herself by smelling the tea. "Mm..."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"That's... kind of scary if that's all it takes for someone to show up with a freaky Persona and land mines and all of... that to come kill a guy... you'd really hope it'd be harder than that..."
Is that a typical Joker Killer incident? Well, she's only got the one data point to go off of, so.
And she's not that well-versed in gang politics, either.
Fine, but only in a particular way. Ririka considers Ichika and then slowly nods. "Okay. I..." Whatever it was she was about to say she thinks better of it and just nods. "Okay."
She's trying to be better at listening, and meeting Ichika where she is.
That gloomy look... Ririka winces. "Sorry. I didn't mean..." 'To stir anything up' is what she wants to say, but she's not sure more words spent on it will help.
There's a quiet nod, as Ichika says she can't forgive him. Neither can she.
"Welcome," she says, upon returning with the tea. She sniffs at her own cup, inhaling deeply.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...The rumors don't say the Joker Killer shows up with landmines and friends," Ichika says. "I don't think that's normal. Why it happened this time... I can't say."
But 'fine'. "...Thanks."
Ririka winces, but Ichika shakes her head. She reaches out to put a hand on her sister's. "It's fine," she says. "It's just..."
"You know I wish it never happened," she says, and takes a sip of her tea. It's a good ten seconds or so before she continues, focusing on the tea with her eyes closed.
"...But sometimes, I wish it never happened and... that we were still together. That we could've just... gone on like we were."
"It's stupid," she says. "I recognize now the kinds of things that were going on... That it didn't come out of nowhere. But still, I..."
"I hate him. But I miss him. It makes it worse."
"...I'm afraid that if we hadn't run away, I'd..."
Ichika shakes her head. "But that's not... That's not all of it."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"I mean, calling a guy to ask for a murder doesn't sound normal either, if I'm being honest. It's... still kind of mind-blowing to think that's real."
She did get the name Strega, though... and they had Evokers. That's another mystery she's not sure what to do with, yet.
She does relax a little, at feeling Ichika's hand on hers. There's a small nod when she says it's fine. She's trying. She might be getting in her own head a bit, but... she's trying.
Ichika wishes it never happened. Ririka nods to that. She sips her own tea as she waits for Ichika to continue.
Never happened and still together... that one Ririka has to grapple with for a moment, staying silent as she absorbs this. After a while of sipping tea and thinking she says, "I don't think it's stupid? I mean, just that--" She struggles to put her thoughts into words. "The situation is messy, and if you have complicated feelings about it..."
Her hands are busy holding tea, so she just lightly taps her foot to some rhythm in her head instead. "Sorry. Tell me if this isn't helping. But I do believe you about your feelings on this, okay?"
Signs... and she hates and misses him, which makes it worse. "I'm sorry," she says quietly. She leans gently against Ichika to offer some support.
She looks to Ichika curiously. "What else is there?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"It's not," Ichika agrees. "It's really not."
Ririka really is trying--Ichika can tell. And that's good. But...
"...Yeah," she says. "But you do think I shouldn't... want him back. Even a little." She's sure of that, too. "It's just, my feelings are complicated. I don't want to go back. I can't. Not... most of me. But I'm afraid what that part of me will do."
A sigh. "Thanks," she says. "Well..."
She thinks about it. Her instincts tell her--it's a liability. It could put Ririka in danger, what she's thinking about. At the same time, she can't leave her out...
"...One of those people," she says. "The one who saved Tsubasa-kun. If you meet a girl who dresses like an ogre... You can trust her." It's not the whole truth. But it's a safe enough truth to give for now.
"...You'll definitely meet her, if you're up for it."
"There's more, but..."
"...But it's along those lines. He made me feel so dirty, just looking at me. And it feels like I can never wash out... him."
"But I know it's not like that. It's just... what my heart knows, and doesn't."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"No I don't. I'd be worried if you actually did go back to him but... I get why some part of you might want that." A pause. "... okay, I'm trying to get it. I really am. It's like you said, you want me to meet you where you are, right? So if where you are is that some part of you wants that... I'm trying to get there. Honest. I want to understand."
Ririka would definitely not appreciate being left out of things with her sister.
"A girl who dresses up like an ogre..." Ririka looks at Ichika for a moment. A few weeks ago she might have laughed that off. Now, though, especially after the day before... "Okay. I met a superhero yesterday, so... girl who dresses up like an ogre. Sure."
Definitely meet her... Ririka looks to Ichika. "You sound pretty certain of that."
But back to the subject of Eiji, and feeling dirty... Ririka puts her tea down and sidehugs Ichika again. "I'm sorry."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Right," Ichika answers. "...Thanks." A pause. "For not acting like you do just get it. For... trying. I don't know why I feel that way. Maybe it's because things seemed really good, except when they... weren't."
"Maybe it's because..." She trails off, and shakes her head.
The Ogre matter though, "Yeah? Well OK then." Pause. She does sound sure. "Well, yeah. Since you said it's OK, I'm gonna ask her to touch base with you."
Ichika nods. "Thanks. I..."
"Well, that's how it is. It's like... he can see through me. He knows me. ...He knows my body. I can't... hide."
"...I know you don't like hearing about all that stuff," she says apologetically. "But it's kind of... important, to me."
"So..."
"If you want to ask questions, I can try to help you understand. If you don't... That's OK, too."
"But thanks. For trying."
"It helps."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka nods quietly. "I want to keep trying." But Ichika doesn't know why... and Ririka obviously can't answer that for her, but... "I at least... well... I at least get wanting things to go back to being a certain way. I think I get that much. I know it's... it's not the same, but..."
She blinks a little. "Really? About what?" She kind of wants to meet more Persona users but... nobody's tried to arrange a meeting like this yet.
Seeing right through her... "That sucks, I'm sorry."
But hearing about this. "Hey, it's... it's not pleasant, but it's important to you, so that means... it's important to me, too." Another careful sidehug. "I said I wanted to support you, so... if you need someone to talk to, then... I'm here."
"Questions, huh..." She gives that a long few moments of though. "I dunno what to ask right now. I guess... I've never been in that kind of relationship before, good or bad, so... maybe I'm still figuring out that part, too? I dunno."
She smiles. "Of course. You're my sister, I... I want to get this right, you know? and if I can help, even in small ways... I'm glad."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Right. I mean, back then, I was... Not wrapped up in... Everything. But there are things I wouldn't change. I like the friends I've made. Some of them are really important to me. ...It was definitely... a lot of things were easier back then, I guess."
"...She'll give you the details," Ichika says. "She's helping me with something. Stuff I... can't do, myself."
"Thanks."
She nods, after a moment. "I don't even mean... just the unpleasant parts. Like..."
"You don't usually like to hear about... things about me and boys. But that's really important to me. It's one of the ways I feel better. It helps."
"But it's OK, that you don't know that kind of thing. You don't have to. ...The fact that you want to listen is good."
"..I think..."
"I think I might get in a nap, before I go out again later. After I finish my tea."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Things were easier... but... she's also made some important friends. "I guess... going back would mean giving up some things, huh...?" That makes her contemplate for a moment... what would she have to give up, to go back to before...
... Maybe it would be kinder to herself not to ask that question right now.
Stuff Ichika can't do. That makes Ririka sit up and frown in thought. "Oh. So... it's like that, huh..." She nods. "Then, if it's something to help you, of course I'll meet her. Does she have a name?"
But she listens... But the part about Ichika and boys. "Oh, that. That's..."
That's what, Ririka? How are you going to finish that sentence?
It'd be a lot easier if you just told her. You could clear up that confusion, finally get it off your chest...
... no, she's... Ichika's already going through a lot right now. Now's not the right time. And it'd probably mean a lot of questions right now, and... it'd be better to not get distracted from whatever this thing Ichika needs help with. Then maybe after she'll be in a better place to hear it, you won't be distracted...
... Yeah, let's wait.
Ririka glances away. "It's fine, really. It's important to you, and it helps, so... it's important to me. Just... as long as we don't get into the details, you know?"
She looks to Ichika again and nods. "I do," she says firmly. Want to listen, that is.
She nods. "Okay. Then... I'll keep the music down so you can nap. And, uh..." She picks up her cup. "I hope the tea was good?" She meant what she said about practicing.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"It would," Ichika is sure. She looks over Ririka for a moment, as she thinks about it--and then as she sits up. "Yes," Ichika answers, a little more formal again. "...Call her 'Ogre'. That's what everyone seems to call her."
Ichika waits for an answer; she doesn't know the truth, of course. She doesn't know what Ririka is weighing telling her. But it would mean a lot of questions, maybe for that reason.
"...Okay," Ichika says. "...Heh. Don't worry. I don't need to tell you like... exactly what I get up to, or anything. Just..."
"...Just that it makes me feel better. It's..."
"If I can share with someone else, then I'm mine, not his. It's like that."
A hesitant smile. "...Thanks. And it was. It helped. ...You're getting a lot better at it, too."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka can't help but grin a little. "'Ogre', huh...? I can work with that."
Sadly these are questions that will have to wait for another time.
"Hey, if it makes you feel better, then... I'm happy for you. Really. You deserve to be your own person."
But she smiles a little when she sees Ichika smile, nodding. "I'm glad it helped. And... thanks. The tips you've been giving me have really helped, you know?"
Ririka looks to Ichika. "I want to keep learning how to cook from you. It's... kinda fun, and... I like spending the time with you, too. But even without that I'm... I'm glad we can talk like this, too."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Maybe soon, though. Ichika is sure that there's a reason her power comes with such secrecy, somehow...
But for now, "Thanks," Ichika says. "That's all." A nod. "I do. I... I do."
Ichika starts to stand up at that, going to finish her tea--and nods again when Ririka answers her. "It's nice," she agrees. "I'll teach you what I can. ...I learned some of it from Mom, of course. So she can help, too."
"But... it is nice," she says. "To talk." She steps towards the kitchen, to put away her cup. "I'll see you later, Ririka-chan."