2025-09-11: Stability
- Log: Stability
- Cast: Ririka Kawase, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Kawase family hosuehold, Iwatodai City
- OOC Date: September 11, 2025
- IC Date: Monday, July 09, 2012 (Afternoon)
- Summary: A few days after the failed attempt on Eiji's palace Ichika and Ririka both find themselves at home after school. They talk about what happened, what was learned, and about what might have been.
- Trigger Warning: Mentions of abuse and pregnancy loss.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
The attempt to get into Eiji's palace and find some information about him did... not go well. They learned something, alright, but... not at all what they were expecting. Ririka's been sitting with the memory of that failed attempt for a few days, in a dour mood as she tries to make sense of everything. She hasn't really inflicted it on anyone else, just mostly keeping to herself.
Monday evening sees her at home, in her room studying. She's long since changed out of her school uniform into a band t-shirt and shorts, and is sitting at her desk with her music going. She's got textbooks and school papers spread out in front of her.
Her room is a little emptier without her electronic keyboard or guitar here--those are at her dorm now, where she spends the majority of her non-school hours these days. Still, her room is full up with different band posters, a neatly organized rack of CDs, and even a few stuffed animals here and there. (One of them, a purple teddy bear, has a prominent place at her desk.)
Their mother is downstairs, idly taking care of some housework before getting ready to make dinner. Ririka's door is open, so it wouldn't be too hard to get her attention, even with her head phones going.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika's been up and down, since; she was devastated that first night, but has had a chance to spend time with some friends since, even technically got some counseling from a trusted adult.
But today, she elected to come home. She just had a nice talk with their mother, not about all that, but about other things. But now...
Ichika's in a skull top and green cargo pants, her shoes off because they're inside. She knocks at Ririka's door, though it's open. "Hey, Ririka-chan?"
It's Ichika, of course. She doesn't identify herself, assuming Ririka will recognize her voice. "Can we talk a bit?"
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka looks up from her desk at the knock. She didn't keep the music so loud she couldn't hear anybody knocking, after all... but just in case, well.. the door was open. (Reallyit's a non-zero chance that she could even ignore a knock on the door sometimes.)
"... hey, Ichika-chan." She reaches for her phone, pausing her music and then taking off the headphones to lay them on the desk. "Sure. Come on in." She quickly tidies up her papers, slipping them into her textbookholding it closed, then picks up her phone--and the purple teddy bear--and gets up from the desk to sit heavily on her bed. That's her invitation to Ichika to sit in the chair.
She has a feeling she knows what this is about, but... "What's up?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Just in case.
"Great." Ichika steps inside and closes the door behind her. She smiles at the teddy bear, but comes to sit on the chair where Ririka invites her. And as to what it's about, well...
"I... heard what happened," she says, "The other day. With the Ogre."
"I know it was rough. It was probably rough for you, too..."
"Do you... want to talk about it?"
A pause. "I know the stuff that the 'other him' said. It... hit me pretty hard, too."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka sits cross-legge don her bed. Her phone is next to her... but that teddy bear is in her lap. She nods, when Ichika mentions the other day. "... yeah."
Rough. "Thaaaat's an understatement," Rirka says quietly. "I mean, yeah, but..."
She looks down at her lap for a moment. "I feel like I should be sking you that question..."
She looks up as Ichika mentions that she knows. "So... Ogre told you, huh? I... are you okay?" She's maybe deflecting the question away from herself, but only a little bit. She really is concerned. "The... the things he said, e-even if..." She shales her head a little. "I keep hoping some of it is just... some sort of delusion, but I'm afraid it's not."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
It's a little deflection, but that's OK. Ichika listens to Ririka, but she's not going to ignore her questions, either. "...I didn't realize he was doing things to other people, too. I mean, I assumed there were other girls he was seeing, who he might be doing stuff to... But..."
A shake of her head. "No, i'm not really," she admits. "But I got to talk to some friends about it. I'm... stable, I guess I'd say."
"What about you?"
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"I-I just... I don't understand, how... h-how someone could be that... cold-hearted? Or... monstrous? I don't even know what the right word is."
She looks up to Ichika. "... stable is something, I guess. Um... we can talk too, if you need it."
"Me? I'm..." Ririka's gaze drops to the floor. "I don't know. There's just... all these thoughts and I don't... I d-don't even know what to do with them, it's just..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"...It's his worst impulses," Ichika says. "Turned up. I think he always had it in him, though. I don't know. I know a Palace forms for someone who's really 'distorted'. But I don't know exactly what that means."
Stable. "Thanks. ...I do want to. But I figured talking with you about your feelings would be a good place to start."
"So tell me about them," Ichika says. "We can figure out what to do."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"... they're some pretty awful impulses," Rirka confirms. "Distorted, huh... yeah, that's... that's a good word for that creep," Ririka says glumly. "That whole 'Palace' thing is just weird, too... I could hear it from the street, but it's just... somewhere out of sight."
But her feelings. "Are... are you sure? I mean, you're... I should be helping you, right?"
It won't take too much cajoling, though, to get Ririka to talk. "I just..." She takes a moment to consider. "... you said you'd been there, right...? Was... was all that weird wedding crap there when you went?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"It's really weird," Ichika agrees about the Palace. "Super weird."
But, "I'm sure. It'll help me put my feelings together. ...I don't want to just... relive it, you know? I want to go somewhere."
"I have," Ichika says. "It was there, all right. And the Shadows found me and brought me to Eiji. Since... they were looking for me."
"I barely got out. I managed to fight them off enough to get away in the chaos, but... that's about it. I got lucky."
A sigh. "...For me, it's just..."
"Learning that he always felt that way... that it wasn't my fault, because he didn't really care about my feelings at all..."
"It's hard."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka nods slowly as Ichika says it'll help. "Well... okay. I just... if it stops helping, let me know?" She glances to the side. "... I don't... want to mess up again," she admits in a small voice. Like with trying to insist Ichika wasn't Trouble. She's really been trying to do better since that conversation.
Ichika's been there... and so was all the weird wedding stuff. She shivers a little at Ichika's recounting. "That's so awful... I'm sorry, nee-san."
"... yeah, he's... kind of a just... a terrible person." Even that's undersellingit. "... You deserve someone way better than him."
But since Ichika insisted... "So... you know everyone else was going to see all the weird wedding stuff, then." It's a question with an easy, implied answer, but... Ririka needs to hear it confirmed directly.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I will." Ichika shakes her head. "...If we both do our best, we'll be able to reach each other. That's what I think."
Still... "Thanks."
A terrible person. Ichika nods. "I was so blind," she sighs. "The things he did... There were little things that I looked back on later, and it made sense. But it doesn't feel good to think I was ignoring the signs."
A smile. "I do," she says. "...I wonder if I'll... go for someone, like that again. Like, for real, romance."
Ichika did insist, though. "I did. I'm sorry I didn't warn you, it was just... too hard to talk about."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Reaching each other. Ririka nods. "...Okay. Then, I'll do my best."
"... Wel, you know aht they say about hindsight, right? I..." sighs a little. "I mean, who could have expected it'd be so bad, though? I... I dunno. Part of me wants to insist it wasn't your fault, but that probably wouldn't help. Maybe that's how someone like him... does that, they make things so nice they're more inclined to overlook something that seems small? I dunno."
But she manages a smile when Ichika does. "I don't have... well, any romance advice, but... I'd still be happy to talk stuff out. We still need to do that pro and con list, right?"
Ririka shakes her head. "I don't know that... words could really do it justice, you know? So I'm not... mad or anything, just..." She sighs. "I try not to talk about what happened with him with other people? Not in a like, 'trying to pretend it didn't happen' way but like a... 'trying not to blast your personal business everywhere' way, and just... seeing all that stuff in there, knowing everyone else was seeing it... I just... wanted to know you were okay with them seeing."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Right. ...Nobody expected it." A sigh. "I appreciate it. And... it wasn't my fault," she says. "You're right about that. It's hard to remember sometimes, but especially with what he said... It wasn't."
That might be, about overlooking. Ichika smiles faintly. "Yeah. I've gotta work on that, and show it to you."
"It's OK," Ichika says. "If it leads to anything like 'justice', it's worth it. ...It's hard to talk about, but... It's not a problem that people know."
"I'd rather give them my side of the story, though. ...Eventually."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka nods. "Well... if you ever need help remembering, I can do that for you." She nods. "The things he said, when we were there..." She shivers. "I-iiiit's kind of gross."
"Cool. I'm... okay talking about romance stuff, really. It just got awkward before since I hadn't told you about..." Ririka glances at the door for a moment. "... me, you know?" About liking girls.
"Okay. As log as you expected them to find out, I'm okay with ti. It's... it's up to you who gets told, after all."
Ririka nods. "Yeah. Just listening to that guy..." Ririka shakles her head. "... so, is there anything you feel like you want to talk about?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Thanks," Ichika says. "I don't mind if you remind me of that one. ...It's not like the 'trouble' thing--I know I cause problems for our parents, and I know they love me anyway. This..."
"It's just true. It's not my fault. It's his. All of it."
Gross. "Yeah..."
Ichika feels good for now at least about her decision to keep that slight distance--to shield Ririka from what else she might have to do. ...At the same time, if they couldn't talk about it at all... That would be bad.
"Thanks," Ichika says again. "And--I get it. I do. That makes it all make a lot more sense, you know? I don't mind, in that context."
"But when you find someone you gotta tell me."
A sigh, then. "...I think..."
"I think we've talked about some already. How... it's not my fault."
"I still miss my baby," she admits. "...She would've been born in February, you know? But I never got to meet her. And now, I know, it wasn't just that I made him too mad. ...It's that he didn't care about my little girl in the first place."
"And that... hurts worse, somehow."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka nods. "Theeen we agree about that one, at least." She manages a small, brief smile. But it fades quicklyk, considering the subject matter.
When Ririka finds someone though... anotehr smile, bigger but definitely shyer. "I haven't even started... I mean... I will, promise, I just don't know when that'll be."
But Ririka sits up straighter as Ichika mentions her baby. "Oh, Ichika..." She sets her teddy bear aside and goes to hug Ichika. The mention of the passed birth month has her feeling ab it emotional, too. "I wanted to meet her, too," Ririka admits quietly. If the hug is accepted, she'll let it go whenever Ichika is ready.
"That guy doesn't care about people, he just... wants to use them. He's sick, and what he said... still kind of makes my blood boil. And my skin crawl. All at once."
".. I'm sorry, sis. It's not fair that... that he took her from you."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika nods back. "That's fine, that's fine. Go at your own pace. But I'm cheering you on."
Ichika accepts the hug, putting her arms around Ririka in turn. It takes her a while before she's willing to let go. "...Thanks," she says. "I know... having her would've had a big imapct on my life. But... It would've been worth it."
When Ririka mentions Eiji's words, Ichika doesn't let go--she nods. "Thanks," she says. "...No, it's not fair."
Finally she does let go. "But, that's how it is. I'm still alive. And I'm going to live."
A pause. "...I'll tell you what happens, OK? But I'm... not sending anyone back for a while."
"Apparently the Shadows are really strong... it's not safe. So Ogre's gonna get stronger. And we'll go back eventually."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"Thanks," Rirka says witha a small smile about being cheered on. "I appreciate it."
If Ririka's being honest she really needs that hug, too. So she's in no hurry to leave it, either. "She would've been cute and adorable and I would've like, written a bunch of lullabies or something for you to sing to her."
But Ichika wants to leave. Ririka gives her one last squeeze before letting go. "Good."
Ririka nods as she sits back on her bed. "... I still want to help, but..." The Shadows are strong. Ririka nods. "Yeah. I want to train with my powers more, too."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika appreciates it a lot. But she can't stay all night.
Still... "Yes," Ichika says. "And they would've helped me get her to sleep. ..Even if my voice isn't as pretty as yours."
Ichika smiles. But that smile fades. "Then let's get ready," she says. "I'll call you, when I'm ready to... send people back. And it's not like we won't talk before then, obviously. I'm not going anywhere."
"But I'm a little worn out, after everything, still. I might go to bed early tonight."
"Oh," Ichika says. "Next time, you've got to come back to the dorm. I have a cactus, now."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka shakes her head. "Nah. You would've been her mom. To her, you'd have had the best voice in the world. 'Sides, even if I sang to her like that it wouldn't have been the same."
Ririka nods. "Yeah, we still have plenty of other stuff to talk about, right?"
Worn out. Ririka nods again. "Yeah, that's..." She can only imagine, considering the everyting. She hasn't been sleeping too great herself. "... definitely a good idea, if you feel like you need it."
"Oh yeah? Cool! When'd you get a cactus?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika's smile cracks a little at Ririka's answer. Her heart hurts. But it's maybe a good kind of pain. "Yeah," Ichika says, and is quiet for a moment. "...Yeah."
But they do. "Yes, that's true."
"I do. ...I haven't even been on a date since... then. I thought about it but... I don't think I should, until I'm... a little more together."
Ichika beams. "Out in Shibuya, at this flower shop. I haven't had it long, but it's doing really great so far."
She moves to stand up. "I'll definitely show you."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
That crack in the smile. Ririka winces a little. "... too much?"
Dates. "... you should take as long as you need. But... if it's something you enjoy, I hope you can still enjoy it when feel ready for it."
"Oh, cool. Yeah, I definitely want to see it, then. I'm looking forward to it."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"No," Ichika says softly. "It was really sweet. It hurt a little... But it was really sweet. I'm glad you said it."
"...Yeah. I just mean," she says, "It's... maybe it's better if I don't try to distract myself. If I just process."
A smile back. "Thanks, Ririka-chan. You did help."