2026-01-03: Complicated
- Log: Complicated
- Cast: Ichika Kawase, Ririka Kawase
- Where: Kasugayama Girl's Dorm, Hirasaka Ward, Sumaru
- OOC Date: January 03, 2026
- IC Date: Tuesday, September 04, 2012 (AFter School)
- Summary: After finding out their mother is expecting another child, Ririka and Ichika both have... mixed feelings about it. Some shared, and some individual.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika is back at her dorm again after a long day Out; there was school, then Yua Ooshiro's wedding--well, Yua Ijuuin, now--and the weird advice her new husband gave her. Not weird because it was bad, but weird because he was giving it. ...In point of fact she did excuse herself to a quieter place for a bit, and eventually, excused herself entirely. It was nice to talk to her...
But what she learned gave her even more mixed feelings than she'd had before. Her teacher married and pregnant too...
The dorm is as it always is, a shabby building in Hirasaka with a nice gate and not much supervision. The lobby area is that of an old hotel, with a big staircase in the back. And Ichika... is no longer dressed for going Out, at least not in her typical style. When she got in and changed out of her yukata, she put on a tanktop and some shorts, and has been lounging a little since. But Ririka was due to arrive anytime...
And once she did, Ichika met her at the door. "Hey," she'd said. "C'mon, let's go up."
It's not suspicious to take her sister to her room or anything, so she did just that. Back in her room...
It's pretty much like it was, though neater, on account of the fact that she only moved back in yesterday. Ichika closes the door behind her, gestures to the desk where Ririka can take a seat.
"So," she says, "How's school? How's it going now that you're back?"
Small things, to start.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka didn't have to move 'back' to her dorm, since this particular break she never left it. It was difficult to explain why, but, well... SES still needs to explore Tartarus, and patrol the Dark Hour, too. (And good thing Ririka had been there, so SEES could come to Umie's aid a few nights back.)
But Ririka hasn't exactly had a break, either, given her multiple performances (and the above-mentioned duties), and it's still a bit jarring to have her routine switch around back to the drudgery of school.
The trip up to Sumaru, however, still feels familiar, at least. At least she does her best to make use of the time on the train to be productive--even if it's just reading something for class.
She's dressed in a skirt, band t-shirt, vest, and her favorite (not chunky) boots, backpack on her shoulder, and she smiles as Ichika greets her. "Hey, sis." Back to the room, and Ririka takes a seat at the desk. "Oh, you know... getting used to school again." She looks around for a moment. "You getting all settled in again?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
It wasn't exactly a break for Ichika, either... considering that she had to deal with Eiji's Palace. But there were breaky aspects. And that's good enough.
Ichika nods along at Ririka's answer. "Makes sense," she says. "Me, too. Got Tsubasa set up in time," she says, since they took Tsubasa to a new place, "Started in classes... Went to one of my teachers' wedding. That was..."
She trails off. "It was really something," she settles on. "But other than that I'm fine. Back to school, right? Just gotta keep at it for a while longer."
"...but," she says, "I'm still thinking about..."
"Well, about Mom."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
And then there was the Palace, yeah... and even there the aftermath is still sneding aftershocks into their lives.
"I hope they're doing okay," Ririka says. She might not know all the details of Tsubasa's situation, but she didn't think they'd left Sumaru for the summer on great terms, either...
"Oh yeah, for... the dance instructor, right?" Pretty something... Ririka tilts her head a little. "It was, huh...?" That's an invitation to Ichika to say more, but Ririka won't press it if she doesn't feel like it.
Mom. Ririka sighs a little, and nods. "... yeah, I've been... thinking about her, too." She pauses a moment, fingertips drumming lightly on her thigh. "... kind of a surprise, huh?"
That's a safe, neutral question, right?
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"It's cool," Ichika says. "We found a solution."
But, "Right. It was... so it was super traditional. But the big thing is, she's really proud of being Okinawan, how that's distinct from being from Japan... It's kind of a whole thing," Ichika explains, because she's not an expert but that's why she doesn't say 'from some other part of Japan'. "But one of the big important guests sort of implied that was no good. Her new husband defended her, but... It was still kinda... it made me uncomfortable."
"Plus she just seemed super overwhelmed, for a while. But it seems like it's fine? So, I dunno."
She shakes her head. "But Mom..."
"I'm really happy for her," Ichika says. "It's a big surprise, but... that's great for her, you know? But I don't..."
"I don't know how I feel for me. If that makes sense. I dunno if I can... handle it."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"That's good to hear."
Super traditional, and being Okinawan. But someone had a problem, and Ririka makes a face. "Ugh... that sucks... I really hope she doesn't get a lot of that."
Ririka hopes, but she suspects the truth of the matter is different from what she might hope.
But Ririka is listening as Ichika expresses she might have a problem with it. She nods a little bit. "... yeah. I was trying to be supportive the other night, but..." Ichika admitting she has a problem makes it easier for her to say what comes next. "... it's a little weird, right?" she asks softly, with a small wince.
"... you wanna talk about it?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Hopefully," Ichika says. "Her husband seems nice, anyway. Even though he's a cop."
The rest though, Ichika nods. "Mm. ...A little," she admits of it being weird. "We're gonna be adults with a baby sibling. That's not exactly what you expect. But like... She's not even 40, you know? It's not weird for her to have another baby in and of itself."
"...Yeah," she says, "I do."
"..." She bites her lip, then. "I..."
Ichika takes a seat on her bad, folding her hands in her lap, and says softly, "I miss my baby."
"But she's going to be relying on us... And I want to support her. I want to support my sibling."
"...But it makes you wonder, too..."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Married to a cop. Ririka doesn't make a face but she thinks about it. "I hope so."
But Ichika identifies it. "... Yeah. February... you'll be about to graduate, and even when I graduate they'll be just over 1 year old..." Not even 40. "Yeah, I guess that's true... they had... us, kind of early, huh?"
By 'us' she of course means Toshiaki, which is its own kind of awkwardness in this context.
Ririka sucks in a sharp breath, and she gets up and moves to sit with Ichika on the bd, reaching around to hug her tight. "... yeah." She'd been excited for Ichika's child, too, her niece, but... she knows it was never the same as what Ichika felt.
Relying on them. "... while w're both... starting college or careers, or whtever. ... but yeah, I do, too."
Ririka looks to Ichika. There are a lot of things she might ponder, but... she doesn't know which one Ichika might be thinking. "... what are you wondering about?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Mm-hm," Ichika says. "They did. ...But I mean, they were together since high school. They already knew they wanted to be together. And if they'd waited until Daddy was done with school, they'd have been waiting a long time..."
But Toshiaki, yes.
Ichika leans into Ririka, quiet. Her lips press together. "That's why... I don't know if I can handle it," she says. "I still think about her a lot... But seeing Mom like that..."
"It's going to be hard."
Relying on them. "I don't mind being relied on. It's not like she's going to expect us to raise our own sibling--just... You know. The stuff I asked you to do, when I was pregnant. The stuff men can't do so much." Support.
"...I guess I just wonder why now?"
"But... I asked her," Ichika says. "Later that night."
"Apparently they'd been trying for a while," she says. "I mean--you know they still do it. We both know that, they have date nights most weeks. But apparently..."
"She's had a couple of miscarriages, trying. That's why she didn't want to tell me until it was more of a sure thing."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Since High School. "Yeah..." Ririka can't help but wonder... if her parents found each other in high school, and are still together... well...
She hasn't had any kind of date since Middle School. And her own preferences... she puts those thoughts aside for now. She'll be thinking about them later, though.
The wait. "Yeah... they did pretty good by us though, huh?"
Ririka gives Ichika a gentle squeeze, trying to be steady for her sister. "... yeah, I get that. If... it helps, you can always talk about how hard it is with me. I'm not... gonna get upset at you for feeling that way, or anything."
She can do that much, at least, as a sister.
Support. "... yeah. I remember." It was just over a year ago, after all.
"You did?" Ririka asks, curious. Trying for a while, and date nights. "... yeah, I figured." But a couple of miscarriages...
"Whoa. Really? Why didn't..." Well, no, she knows the answer to that. So they wouldn't worry. "... nevermind."
She's silent for a long moment, stewing in her thoughts. "I wonder..." she starts to muse, but she can't seem to bring herself to finish whatever thought she might be having.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika almost found her husband in high school; it was a very near thing that that didn't happen. But... That's different.
"They did," Ichika agrees.
Ichika stays leaned against Ririka for the moment, wrapping her arms around her sister too to hang on for a little while. "Thanks," she says. "I don't want to tell Mom, since... I don't want her to feel bad. But I think she knows, anyway, so maybe I should just talk about it. ...But you get it. I loved my little girl, even though I never really got to meet her."
She closes her eyes, and her eyes feel wet.
"Mm-hm. There was stuff I wanted to ask that didn't feel right to ask in front of you and Daddy. In case it was private. But..."
Right. So they wouldn't worry.
"...What do you wonder?" Ichika asks, and with some effort, rises to sitting up straight again, disentangling and looking Ririka's way.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
It's a good thing that didn't come to pass--and never will, now.
Ririka will not object to being held on to. She leans her head against Ichika's, still holding her close. "Yeah, I get it. That's... why I was trying to stay positive the other night, you know? IT's good news, it's just... complicated news." Another squeeze. "I could be there for support, if you want to talk to her," she offers softly.
"Yeah, I know you did. I was looking forward to meeting her too."
Ririka might be a little misty eyed, too.
"Oh, that makes sense..." That some of the questions might be private. Ririka hasn't been (and might never be?) pregnant--there's just some things that Ichika and their mother will get that Ririka won't.
Ririka looks away for a moment, letting Ichika go so she can sit up. Her expression goes from troubled to even a little guilty, and she can't quite bring herself to look at Ichika as she says, "... I... do... do you think they started trying again... after..." She manages a glance at Ichika. It feels so wrong to even suggest this, but the thought won't really leave her mind. "... a-after Toshi-nii..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Right," Ichika says. "...I'll think about it, OK?"
But Ririka was also looking forward to meeting her. Ichika remembers that; it's not the same, but... It helps that it's not only her loss.
But, well--Whether or not Ririka ever is, there's the matter of has, and that is something Ichika can share with their mother. But until she speaks up, Ichika can't read what Ririka is thinking--until...
"Ah," Ichika says.
"So, you wonder if they were trying to replace our brother," she says.
"...I don't know," Ichika admits. "It was rough on them too, him dying. And they had to be strong for both of us. Maybe they just relied on each other a lot, and one thing led to another..."
"Or maybe they decided they wanted something good instead of just everything bad."
"I don't think anybody can replace him, and I don't think they think it, either. But..."
"I get... Wanting to have something good, after a tragedy. After... losing someone, like that."
"I've been tempted myself, you know? It's why I insist on being 'safe' so hard. Because I don't think I could handle it if I lost another baby right now."
She looks down, curls her fingers on her lap. "...Still want one, though. So I dunno. But I think we should have faith in them. That it's not like that. I know... that it doesn't work that way."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"Okay," says Ririka. "Just let me know."
Ririka would never assume it was the same, but... she'd be glad to know it helps Ichika to know that.
"I-I mean, like, I know they can't... replace him replace him, but..." Ririka rubs at the back of her neck a little. "I just... the timing, if they've been trying for a while..."
She looks down at her lap. "... I feel really bad the thought even fcrossed my mind," she admits, with a light flush in her cheeks.
They had to be strong for them. "... I guess so, huh?" That gives her a mixed feeling, thinking she'd been trying to do the same for everyone else. At least, until that week she'd fallen out of touch and needed her parents to come check up on her.
Or maybe they wanted something good. "... I think I like that explanation better," she admits softly.
After losing someone... "I still think about him a lot," Ririka admits. Even moreso now, but they've already talked about that.
Being 'safe', though. Ririka reaches over to give her another hug. "Someday, though." They talked about it--Ichika wants kids, her partner, Tusbasa, wants to be involved. Ririka wants that for both of them.
"... Yeah, I know it's not... like that but it's just... the thought got all jumbled up in everything else, you know? It, um... helped to talk it out, though, so... thanks."
All channels have been gagged.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"I will."
"Right. I get you," Ichika says. "That's why I gave you that big answer... Because I kinda get it. I wondered, too. Obviously I came away thinking something different, but..."
"I like the second one better, too. I think it'll be nice..."
Ririka admits it, and Ichika nods. "Me, too," she admits. "I wonder what it would've been like, if he'd lived. ...If you and me would've started getting along better sooner. If he'd have noticed something wrong with Eiji..."
"Well, I dunno."
"Someday," Ichika agrees. "I'm not even doing that with Ryuji-kun yet, so... Definitely not yet. And even if I were, I don't want to put that on him. But someday."
"Maybe I'll get married first this time, even."
"It's OK," Ichika says. "Wondering. I'm not mad at you for questioning it. ...For thinking it. You know?"
"It's OK. It's normal to have complicated feelings."
"...For me... I guess it's that. And that I'm scared. And that i'm a little jealous."
"Weird, right?"
"...But you know..."
"What we can do is try to be as good to this little boy or girl as nii-san was to us."
"Yeah?"
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka seems to relax just a little--or at the very least, seems a little less tense. "So you wondered too... that... makes me feel a little better for thinking it," she admits with a brief relieved smile.
What might have happened, if he'd lived? Ichika lists some possibilities, and Ririka can't help but add some of her own. "... if I'd gotten a chance to tell him instead of waiting two years to say... if we could've told him about the supernatural..." Assuming they still managed to stumble upon it.
She leans against Ichika for a moment, giving her a steadier smile. "Well... either way, we have each other now, to talk about... stuff like this, right?" Maybe it might've taken a different amount of time, but what matters is right now, right?
Getting married first. Ririka manages a small smile and even a small giggle. "Whether it comes first or second... I'll be there for it. And for everything else."
She lets out a deep breath, as Ichika says she's not mad. "... thanks. That really helps to hear. She looks to Ichika and shakes her head. "Not weird, if it's how you're feeling, you know? It's okay if you're scared or jealous or whatever."
If it's okay for her to wonder, then...
But they can be the type of older siblings that... Ririka sniffs a little and reaches up to wipe something from the corner of her eye. "Yeah... Yeah! Definitely."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Yeah," Ichika says, trying to reassure. And Ririka, when she adds that possibility, gets a look from Ichika. "Yeah. Especially if you'd gotten to talk to him sooner. Who knows?"
Ichika smiles back. "We do," she says. "And we can."
"...But thanks. I'll be sure to tell you when it does, OK?"
Still, she isn't amd, and, "Thanks. I guess I shouldn't worry about how i'm feeling, either. Since I'm telling you not to."
"Thanks, Ririka-chan."
"Hey..."
Ririka has had to wipe something from her eyes, so, "...Youw ant me to drive you home?" she offers. "It's cool either way."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"At least I've told you guys now..." Ririka comments softly. She has to believe that's what he would've wanted--for her to keep living... even if it feels hard to do sometimes.
Maybe they can both take the advice they're trying to give each other. "Yeah."
"Welcome, nee-chan."
Ririka stands up, taking a moment to stretch. "I think I'll be fine, buuuut..." She looks to Ichika and grins. "Iiii won't say no to a ride in your new car. Maybe we can chat about some lighter stuff on the way back?"