2026-02-01: Prayers for Toshiaki
- Log: Prayers for Toshiaki
- Cast: Ririka Kawase, Ichika Kawase
- Where: Naganaki Shrine, Iwatodai City
- OOC Date: February 01, 2026
- IC Date: Tuesday, September 18, 2012 (Afternoon)
- Summary: It has been two years since Toshiaki Kawase died, and his two younger sisters meet to pray for him and talk about how to honor his memory.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
September 18th, 2010.
It is a date forever seared into Ririka's memory.
It was the day her family received the awful news that Toshiaki Kawase, the eldest child, a gifted student, and Ririka's closest confidant for the pressures of their exceptional status... had died.
It's two years to the day since that awful date. That means it is san-kaiki, the two year anniversary of his death. Later there will be a gathering, prayers and a ritual, incense, and a shared meal.
But that's later. This moment is for two of his loved ones in particular, his younger sisters, who both now share the burden of terrible knowledge.
Toshiaki's death wasn't due to a random medical condition expressing itself at the worst possible moment. It was murder.
A Mental Shutdown, according to the Shadow of Eiji Kamiya.
This is knowledge they can't share with the rest of the family, so this moment... is just for them.
Ririka had felt numb all day. She'd skipped out on band practice to head to the shrine; nobody in her band had asked why. She left Gekkoukan to come directly here, and is still in her school uniform: white blouse, purple ribbon, black skirt and her nice boots with the purple laces. She hadn't even gone into the shrine yet, she found a bench to sit on far away from the flow of traffic and has just been... waiting, while staring at nothing in particular.
She won't be hard to find.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
That day is seared into Ichika's memory, too. The day she saw her brother die...
Or fall, at least. She's not sure if he died before or after the fall. She's nnot sure if that's better or worse. She never did seek out all the details. He was a good brother to Ichika, to say the least; reachig out, making her feel a part of the three of them even though for a long time she'd felt on the outside...
Ichika drove here, rather than taking public transit. It made the trip easier. She is also still i her school uniform though, having parked a little ways' away, where there was space available. Now, she walks by Ririka's bench. She looks like a delinquent, of course; bleached-blonde hair, long skirt, midriff bared.
"Ririka-chan," Ichika greets.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
It was too easy, back then, to get wrapped up in her own things, to fight and bicker with Ichika, to forget to make her feel included. But she's trying a lot harder these days, for... well, a great number of reasons. Not the least of which was that it was the last thing her brother asked her to do, before that fateful camping trip.
But she's been finding her own reasons, too.
It takes Ririka a moment to come back to the present, when Ichika says her name. She looks up, a ghost of a smile on her lips for her sister, though she can't hold it that long. "H-hey, onee-chan. How... how was your drive?" Her voice is already shakey.
She doesn't move to get up right away.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Can they ever share the true of Toshiaki's death with their parents? ...Even when they find the culprit behind the Mental Shutdowns...
Well.
"Hey," Ichika repeats. "It was fine," she says. She's the older sister, so maybe it makes sense that her voice is steadier. She reaches out a hand, though, to offer to Ririka to help her up.
"Come on," she says. "...The god of the shrine will pass on our feelings, I think."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Can they ever share the truth with their parents? How would they even start?
... but how terrible would the burden be, if either of them had to hold it alone?
"... Cool," she anwers, pollitely, of the drive. She looks at the hand for a long moment and then nods, reaching up to take it. "... yeah."
She gets up, and leans against Ichika. It's strangely easy, to fall back into the habit of relying on an older sibling.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
They don't really have to ask that last question--after all, until recently, both of them did hold it alone.
Ichika is strong enough; her help up is steady. Ririka leans on her even though Ririka's (very very slightly) taller, too, and Ichika can bear that, too. "Let's go," she suggests, and supports Ririka up the stairs, until they reach the basin where they're meant to purify for visiting the shrine.
"...Yeah," she says after a momennt.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka is grateful for Ichika's strength in this moment. "Okay," she says quietly, and up the stairs they go. Thee days she feels like she's carrying so much... even if she can't tell Ichika everything, it still helps to have her help carry the burdens they now do.
She takes a deep breath as they get to the basin. She ladels some water onto each hand to rinse them, then cups one hand to bring water to her mouth to rinse. She spits it onto the ground, then steps aside for Ichika.
She pulls out a handkerchief to dry off her hands and mouth, and she's got a second one ready for Ichika if she wants it.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Up the stairs...
Ichika can't tell Ririka everything either, but it's... good, to have that connnection. It's importantn.
Ichika performs the same ritual, accepting the handkerchief and drying before she looks to the shrine. "...I've thought a lot about it," she says. "What happenend back then... what it means now."
"But I think..."
"Even more important than 'justice'..."
"Is letting him know we'll keep going."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka looks to the shrine, too, not in a rush to head there just yet. But she can stall, a little, by listening to Ichika.
She's been thinking about it a lot, too, but... she doesn't voice that thought. It kind of goes without saying at this point, doesn't it?
Justice sounds like such a simple word... but it's really not, is it?
But she nods, when Ichika says what they should let Toshiakii know. "... yeah. Even... even if it's hard... that's what we should do."
BBS: New BB message (5/30) posted to 'Cutscenes and Logs' by Yua Ijuuin: Chizuru Sights Yua's Misfortune
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika is... not hurried, exactly. Intent. She is sure of what she needs to do today, and while it is a melancholy set of tasks, Ichika feels better doing than contemplating. So...
It's not a simple word. And it does, sometimes, go without saying.
"I'll go first," she says.
She walks over, and bows her head in silent prayer. What she feels in those moments...
She doesn't intend to share. That's between her and her brother, now. But the way she glances to Ririka as she does suggests what some of it may concernn.
She rings the bell, and claps once.
Then, she steps back.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Some days Ririka is never fully certain of what to do... but a ritual like this, at least, with proscribed steps, helps.
"Okay," she says, to Ichika going first. She keeps her distance, giving Ichika her privacy.
When Ichika steps back she steps up, bowing her own head. There are so many things to think about, for all of their family--those gone, those still present, and those yet to come. Ririka tries to convey them all to Toshiaki in those silent moments.
She rings the bell, claps her hands once, and then steps back, looking to Ichika silently with a nod.
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika waits, when Ririka takes her turn too. She keps her head dow, contemplating rather than praying this time. ...Just because she'd rather be acting doesn't mean she doesn't brood sometimes. But when Ririka finishes....
She nods back. "..."
Ichika starts away from the shrine, turning and walking down the way, until she's closer to the playground than the shrine proper.
"How do you feel?" Ichika wonders of her sister.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka has definitely felt the urge to brood some days. She tires not to let it take over her but... some days it's harder than others.
She walks with Ichika in silence back in the direction of the playground, fingers lightlytapping at her leg as she goes.
It takes her a moment to formulate an answer to Ichika's question. "Sad. Angry. Worried." After a pause she adds. "... kind of tired."
She glances to Ichika. "... you?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Tap, tap, tap. Ichika doesn't fidget at the momentn.
Instead...
"Sad," Ichika agrees. "Not so much tired. ...I've got this... ache, remembering what I saw. Knowing what I do now. If it was done to him, is there somethign I could've done...? I was right there, after all."
She shakes her head. "But..."
"We'll do it. We'll find out."
"...And we'll live."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka can't help it sometimes... it's a thing that helps her calm down. Or at least, regulate her emotional state a little better.
She nods a little at 'ache'. She gets that. But she's silent as she listens to Ichika ponder if she could have done something.
She adds 'guilt' to her list of feelings. There have been times in the past where she pondered that exact thing. Could Ichika have done anything?
It's not fair to her, though, and Ririka knows that, but... the thought still pops up every now and again.
Now, though... "Hey. Neither of us were Awakened back then. It's... it's not fair to expect you to solve a supernatural problem like that."
She's saying it to herself as much as she is to her sister.
"Yeah..." Ririka moves to sit on an empty swing, silent for a moment as she looks down at the hground. "... It just feels so... hard, sometimes."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Ichika's never midned much. Well, that's not true; sometimes, when she was feeling uncharitable, it annoyed her. But then, anything Ririka did might've annoyed her back then when they were bickering...
"True," Ichika says. "I just... wonder. I was there, right?" She was there, that's true. "If I'd caught him, or been walking closer..."
She shakes her head. "But no. It's not my fault for not preventing it. It's whoever did it's fault, for doing it."
She looks back at Ririka, moves to stannd near her. "...It is," she agrees.
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
It's something Ririka tries to hide, when she can... though a lot of the time she doesn't even realize she's doing it.
But they've come a long way since then... and even further in the last few months.
Ichika ponders if there'd been something she could've done, if she'd been closer, if she'd grabbed him... Ririka just shakes her head a little. "We can't go back and change things, right?"
"yeah... whoever did it... that's who to blame."
Ririka extends her legs, pushing herself back on the swing, and then bends them again to 'swing' forward at a slow, controlled pace. "... I tried to write a song for him," she admits, quietly. "Back in May."
That is, back when she fell out of contact with her parents and they had to come to her dorm to check on her. When Ichika saw her crash at the house one weekend and spent the entire morning in her pajamas watching TV on the couch.
"... i-it was about..." Ririka's voice quivers, and she takes a deep breath. "... how I couldn't go on without him. H-how I just wanted to..."
She slows to a stop, closing her eyes as something hot and we truns down her cheeks. "I wrote it, a-and I tried to play it, and... I couldn't finish it, but it still hurts..."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"That's true," Ichika says. "We can't. Never can."
Ichika listens, when RIrika menntions the song. She remembers that period. Anndd the song...
Ichika reaches down and puts a hand on Ririka's shoulder. "Music... it's something that lets you get out feelings you can't any other way, right?"
"...It's OK that it hurts. Jsut means... you really care."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka sniffs. She doesn't look up as Ichika puts a hand on her shoulder, but she does reach up to put a hand on top of hers. "S-sometimes it's like... everything is music in my head, just... all the time."
That's not something she ever admits to... anyone, really. Toshiaki was probably one of the only people to know.
But she nods, as Ichika says it means she cared. "... yeah." She lets herself cry for a few moments, before pulling out a handkerchief to wipe her face. "... I took the recording and burned it to a CD. It's..."
She looks away a little. "... I keep a shrine to him in my room. I put the CD there as an offering."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"That makes sense," Ichika says. All music, all the time... "Your head just works like that. You hear it for everything, right? It tracks."
It doesn't seem bad to Ichika, certainly; not how she thinks, but suitable for Ririka.
Annd, well... Ririka cries, and IChika nods. "That's good," she says. "I'm sure he can tell how much you miss him."
She comes around, and crouches to look at Ririka on the swing. "...It's OK, you know? Neither of us is alone with this anymore."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka nods a little. "... yeah, it's... it's like that."
It's hard for Ririka to talk about. She knows not many other people process things the way she does, it's... hard painting yourself as different.
"I hope so," Ririka says quietly, with a sniff.
Not alone. "... I know. And... I'm glad I can at least talk to you about it." She finally looks to Ichika again. "I know he'd... he'd want me to keep living my life it's just... feels like,... I mean... I don't want to forget him, either."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
Like that. It is hard to paint yourself as different, but Ichika is pretty 'different' in some ways herself. SHe's... used to the idea.
"I'm glad that helps," Ichika says softly. "He would. ...You can do both, I think. Remember him... and move forward."
"It's hard," she says. "Really hard. But I..."
"Well. We can remember him together. Us, and our parents."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
Ririka's used to being 'different' in that she's always been 'exceptional'. Some of that pressure has been self-inflicted, but not all.
It's hard, to admit to things that go aagainst that 'exceptional' image. But... she's at least starting to feel safe enough with Ichika to admit some of these things to her.
Ririka reaches out to hug Ichika. "... yeah. Together. There's... there's things to look forward to, right...?"
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
It's not the same for Ichika.
Still, "Lots of things," Ichika says, hugging Ririka back. "And keep that shrine of yours. You can update him. ...On your progress, growing up. As a person..."
"We both can."
"Maybe we should think of a way to celebrate, soon. Do something he'd like. ...Together."
"Because.."
"We do need to keep living."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"... I will," she says of the shrine, giving Ichika a tight squeeze. She sniffs a little and manages a smile. "You know, all those cooking lessons you've been giving me? When I can, I... I make breakfast, and I make some extra rice and tea and..."
She leans back a little, wiping her eyes. "I put them on the shrine, and..." She laughs a little, maybe at herself. "I talk to him. While I eat breakfast. And I keep some of his favorite candies on the shrine to share."
Another, steadier, smile at the suggestion. "Yeah! I'm sure he's happy any time we spend time together, but... let's do something for him, too. For sure."
They need to keep living. Ririka nods to that. "... yeah."
<Pose Tracker> Ichika Kawase has posed.
"Oh, yeah?" Ichika asks, and smiles. "Cool. I'm glad to hear it."
Ichika listens, and nods. "That's really good."
She thinks about it a moment, what they might do, and sees that steadier smile. "Yeah," she says.
"...C'mon," Ichika suggests. "I'll drive you home if you want. I wannt..."
She thinks about it. "I want some time to think, too."
<Pose Tracker> Ririka Kawase has posed.
"I'm getting really good with the omlettes, but... maybe I should figure out a second breakfast dish to make sometimes... but there's some days when I try to make Toshi-nii's favorites."
Like today. Today would be one of those days.
"... I wanna keep practicing cooking with you. It's... nice to have 'our' thing, you know?" Strengthening her bod with Ichika is just as important as celebrating their bonds with Toshiaki, right?
She gets up and nods. "Okay." She leans in to give Ichika one last hug before turning to the parking lot. "... I'm glad we came here to do this... I think it helped."