2026-11-01: Telling a Friend
- Log: Telling a Friend
- Cast: Kanae Fuyuki, Kazusa Motojima
- Where: Kanae's Apartment, Kagurazaka - Hillside Street
- OOC Date: November 01, 2026
- IC Date: Saturday, February 02, 2013
- Summary: Kazusa has been struggling with something for a while. Kanae invites Kazusa over to her apartment to talk, and it goes better than Kazusa had feared.
- Content Warning: Internalized Homophobia
(|======================= Kagurazaka - Hillside Street =======================|)
-===================================================== Tokyo/Shinjuku Ward ====-
Kagurazaka, Tokyo is a small neighborhood in eastern Shinjuku, straddling
Chiyoda. Home to a large swath of French expatriates residing in Tokyo, it has a
pleasantly warm atmosphere, a cozy little piece of Europe abroad. Part of it is
on the banks of a Tokugawa castle's moat, now a canal that provides comfort
while walking alongside it.
The main heart of the neighborhood is Kagurazaka-dori, a street that starts on a
soft incline before moving further towards a succession of restaurants and
shops. The buildings are low and the sidewalks narrow, with pleasant greenery
alongside the walkways, and road traffic is occasionally prohibited at certain
times, providing a gentle walking experience for the tourist and resident alike.
Of the shrines, shops and restaurants that line the streets, a few stand out
more than others. Zenkoku-ji is a classical Buddhist temple that worships
Bishamonten, a warrior god associated with good fortune. On the other end of the
spectrum is the Akagi shrine, a Shinto shrine that was renovated over the past
few years to possess a more modern outlook, with glass and wood as principal
pieces of the shrine's aesthetic.
For drinking and dining, one can visit Fleur de Lis, a bar and bistro themed
after classical Parisian bars, complete with a piano player during the daytime
hours and special events during the night. They can also visit the Patisserie
Kurayama, a French-style bakery owned by one Marie-Chantal Kurayama, a local
Rumormonger.
Entertainment may bring one to Le Cinéma du Monde, a single-screen movie theater
renovated to be similar to an old-style French theater. Here, one can find
movies old and new, as well as a charming vintage aesthetic. Kagurazaka is also
a Geisha district, and one can find traditional restaurants where the draw is to
watch one perform.
The sick and injured can visit the Clinique Lovelace, a side-street clinic that
treats both mundane and supernatural injuries thanks to the Awakened proprietor,
as long as they can withstand the somewhat-shady atmosphere. Several letters on
the signage are both missing and broken, giving a clear idea of what to expect.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
Kanae's apartment is in a lovely little spot in Kagurazaka, next to a nicer building but not, actually, in a super-nice building. It's on the first floor of a building, in the corner, and the entrance has a roof but is otherwise open-air. Inside, it's small, perhaps cozy; tehre's an entryway, a place to put one's shoes, a small kitchen hallway along with the bathroom on the other side, and then the livingsleepingeating area.
Kanae has her futon put away in favor of a low table that they can sit at, and today, it' evening. Apparently Kazusa might have wanted to talk...
"So here it is," she says, moving in with the tea she just made. "It's not big, but it's mine."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
Kazusa... hasn't actually been here before, for all that she and Kanae have hung out. (Kazusa hasn't exactly been eager to invite Kanae over to her home, but for... very different reasons. Her studio is much safer, even if it isn't exactly homey.)
She's still in her school uniform, and she dutifully removes her shoes. She looks around. "It's... nice," she offers. And she means it, even if it's delivered a bit awkwardly. (Her sense of 'nice' is a little skewed, but she's a little aware that it is.) "Thanks for having me over."
There is something she wants to talk about, and she can't decide if being in a girls' apartment makes this conversation better, or worse... But this is Kanae, right? Her friend. If she can't open up to her about this, then... who else does she have?
She sits at the table, fidgeting a little before she looks up to Kanae. "Soooo... we were talking about dating the other day, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
Kanae isn't especially weird about it; she just... hasn't invited Kazusa over yet. They more often meet at kazusa's studio.
Kanae has decorated the apartment nicely; there are photos on rising shelves, cute appliances, and so forth. "Thanks," Kanae answers about 'nice'.
Kanae is people-smart enough to know Kazusa does want to talk--but she wnts to put her at ease so she can. So, she hands over the tea.
"We were," she says, remembering that conversation.
"Something more to say?"
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
Kazusa is willing to take a moment to distract herself. She looks at the photos curiously. Some friends, but also... "Did you take those photos yourself? Those are some nice landscapes..."
And... "That toaster is kind of cute." And she means that one.
She accepts the tea with a small nod. "Thanks." There is a small, but grateful smile at the gesture.
Something more to say... Kazusa just stares down into her mug. "Maybe. I don't know. It might be... kind of weird. I don't know if you wanna..."She looks up from her cup at Kanae, trying to judge her reaction. She looks... worried.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"Thanks," Kanae says again. "I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, putting up my own photos... but places I like, I want to be able to look at at home. It's like that."
The toaster! "Heheh. Yeah, I like the color on that one." It's a light teal! More cyan.
But she smiles back, and then gently, "It's fine if it's weird," she says. "We've been through a lot of weird stuff togther."
"...It might be I don't find it that 'weird' at all."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
"No, I get that... I have some of my art posted up in my studio, too... but you've got a good eye for composition. You should be proud of them."
"It's a nice design, too, it goes with everything else."
Kazusa quickly looks down when she sees Kanae's smile. "I guess we have... we, uh... stalked a boy together, right?" She was trying to be lighthearted but instantly winces once the words are out of her mouth. "I-- um..."
Crap of all of the examples why was that the one she picked?
She swallows. "... I dunno... it... it's pretty weird..." She stares at her tea, then quietly admits, "... I... I don't think I like boys." She tenses up, preemptively getting ready to weather the storm of Kanae's reaction.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"Thanks."
And the toaster! Kanae smiles. But when Kazusa looks down, Kanae glances away to give her some privacy--until she brings up the boy. "Ahahah," Kanae laughs, and looks back at Kazusa. "We did! It was almost fun."
But weird?
"..."
"I kind of figured that part," Kanae says. "Considering. ...You avoid romance stories, you have no time for boys doing much of anything..."
"And that's fine? So far, not that weird."
"...It's cool. You can tell me what else."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
"It was... definitely something."
She appreciates the privacy, though.
Kanae figured. Kazusa shifts a little uncomfortably, looking up. "But, I... I should, right? Waka-chan enjoys all those romance movies but they just... I know I'm supposed to like them, but I don't, but when I try to make myself like them anyway I can't and the whole thing just makes me mad, and I'm trying to be less angry about things..."
"... even if it isn't weird there's still something wrong with me," Kazusa says sullenly.
She looks away. What else... she's struggling to articulate those thoughts.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"No," Kanae says. "A lot of people do, but that doesn't mean you 'should'. People like different things. ...Society tells us we're supposed to all be the same, but it's not how it really is."
"...You can't make your feelings different from what they are. It's just not something that's possible to do."
"I don't see that as 'wrong' with you, anyway."
Kanae stays intent, this time.
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
"Yeah, well... it's not safe to be too different from what people expect." She should know that much, at least. She used to be on the other end of that. Though she thinks of Haru, and some of conversations they've had. "... though there are things I like that I've never really... told anybody."
"Can't I though? I--I'm trying to change, that's part of why Awakened, I know it doesn't always seem like it, but... why..."
She looks at Kanae for a long moment, and then sighs. ".. do you remember when... when Fontaine-san hugged my Persona?"
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"That's true," Kanae says of safety. "...You'll have trouble, being 'different'. But for some things, it's not possible to do otherwise." But things? "...Mm."
"Not your feelings," Kanae says. "Your actions. ...How you look at the world. How you treat people. What you do. Those are the things you change. You can't just go 'I'm not angry' and expect it to work. ...You have to change the other stuff, and then your feelings might shift."
Kazusa sighs. "Eh?" she asks, and tilts her head. "...Oh, yeah. That's like her, to take something and reverse it on you."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
"Yeah, well... I went through a lot of trouble to try and not look different... I guess that blew up in my face, though." Some of it was beyond her control, but some of it... was always doomed to fail.
"I don't like my feelings though. I'm always angry or upset about something, or I have to watch my back, or watch my figure, or something, and it just... I feel so tired sometimes."
There's a lot in her life she feels like she can't control...
"... yeah, well... it's kind of been stuck in my head. Why did she have to... to do that? Ugh."
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"Right."
Still, "...It's OK to be tired," Kanae settles on saying instead, for the moment; there's not a lot else she can say, to all that. She has the way she thinks of it, of coursse, but...
"Honestly," Kanae says, "I only vaguely remember it. So I couldn't tell you."
"...But I think you're getting sidetracked. You didn't come over to talk about Isabeau, did you?"
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
She's kind of got a lot of things jumbled together that she's trying to pick apart. And her sidetrack isn't necessarily a sidetrack. But as for tired. "... thanks."
"I mean, I don't know, I guess not? But, also maybe kinda? It's her fault I even started thinking about any of this to begin with, and--" Kazusa catches herself and takes a deep breath.
"... I kind of like monster stuff? Like they can have designs and whatever, but I never really... 'got' vampire stuff for more than that... until I found it with female vampires." Kazusa is blushing and avoiding eye contact now.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
Kanae mostly doesn't want to try to speak for Isabeau; it might be relevant, but it's not an angle she can do anything with. ...Still--
Kazusa catches herself, so Kanae lets that part go. Instead, she listens to the rest. "...Hm."
"Go on," Kanae encourages.
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
If Kazusa were a little bit more out of her own head she might realize what's keeping Kanae from speaking on that part. (But she isn't.)
Kazusa looks at Kanae like she's still expecting the other girl to have a negative reaction, but when she only encourages Kazusa to keep speaking, Kazusa looks away again.
"... I was looking up some art online, and when it was a female vampire biting another girl it was like... it made sense? Like I suddenly 'got it'? Except, I didn't want to get it, because of that whole... being different thing."
She lets out a long sigh."... I thought it was just... a fluke, because, you know, Mina is a half-vampire, and Isabeau's a girl, so... so I had to check, and..."
She shifts a little. "... I think I like some of it for reasons other than that," she admits ina small voice.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
Kanae waits for it--no negative reaction apparent, just ease of talking to someone. She listens along. "...Yeah?"
She 'got it', but didn't 'want' to get it.
Kanae is quiet for a few moments. She waits for Kazusa to elaborate--and when she doesn't...
"It sounds like that's true," Kanae says. "But it's OK, you know? ...To like what you like."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
Kanae's lack of a negative reaction is definitely helping. It's taking a lot out of Kazusa to just even try to start to articulate this.
Even if part of her is still kind of afraid the other shoe might drop.
"Except... what I like isn't exactly..." Kazusa stares at her tea. "Once I got the idea in my head I kind of started noticing... that is..."
She forces herself to take a deep breath, and the next part comes out in a rush."What if I don't like boys, but maybe I like girls?"
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
Kanae has guessed at this before--but nwo that Kazusa's worked up to it, she's sure of it. At the same time, she doesn't want to put words in Kazusa's mouth; she keeps her expression neutral, head tilted Kazusa's way as she listens without trying to stare.
No shoe drops.
"Then..."
"That's OK," Kanae says. She thinks about making a joke--but just this once, she doesn't.
"...I get why you'd feel worried about it. It's not easy, how people treat people like that. But it's not a bad thing, in and of itself."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
Kazusa, for all the secrets she feels she has to keep, is rarely subtle. Still, the lack of a shoe somehow feels just as bad as there being one. "That's okay? I'm having this entire frekaout and all of you have to say is just--"
She cuts herself off and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Sorry. That's not called for. I'm just... Sorry."
She really hates being angry and so on-edge all the time, as it happens.
(It's a good thing Kanae didn't go for the joke yet.)
Her hand falls to her lap and she nods. "Yeah, well... I know how I used to treat people like that..." She looks aside, guiltily. She looks to Kanae again after a long moment. "... you really don't think it's bad? You're not just..."
She could spin any number of disaster scenarios, but if she's being honest with herself, none of those fit Kanae.
"... I don't know..." She sets her tea down and slumps over the table, burying her face in her hands. "Where do I even go from here?"
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"No, it's not," Kanae agrees, called-for. She's not intending to be a doormat--but she's patient, too. "It's fine. You're in a sensitive spot."
But, "...Yes," Kanae agrees. "You were bad." She pauses. "But this? No, I don't think it's bad. Why would I tell you otherwise? It's not like hanging around you is going to improve my social prospects."
"...I'm reacting like I am because it's what I feel--and because we're friends."
Kanae lifts her tea, takes a sip. "...That, I don't know," she admits.
"But 'telling a friend' is a good step. I hear that's how it works."
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
"Sorry. I just-- I feel like I'm always wound tight. I hate feeling this way." And trying to figure this out has had her even more so. "... thanks."
Kazusa opens her mouth to say something to that remark, but she can't quite seem to form the words. But Kanae just neatly pointed out why all of those scenarios don't work. "... I should be upset by how you phrased that but you're right," she grudgingly admits.
"... thanks. For listening. Even if I'm a mess trying to explain myself." She sighs and finally goes for her own tea to take a sip. It's a moment not to say anything. "... well, I guess I did that."
She watches the ripples in her tea cup. Softly, she says, "... there's no changing my feelings, huh." It's not really a question.
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"You've got reasons," Kanae says. "...So you're welcome."
"Heh. I'm just being honest about it. We're on the outside together. ...If we understand that, then at least we're there together."
"You're welcome," Kanae says again. "It's hard stuff to deal with. Hard stuff to understand... hard to face. Especially when you're under a lot of pressure already, right?"
"Mm," Kanae answers. No need to rub it in.
Instead, she sips her tea.
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
"Being on the outside sucks," Kazusa opines. But after a moment she adds, "... not that being on the inside is a lot better. It's a lot of work." But she does manage to crack a smile as she looks to Kanae. "... the outside's ot so bad if I'm there with you, though."
It's hard all around. Pressure... Kazusa nods mutely, and then adds, "... yeah."
"... it kind of explains a lot, but... it also feels like one more secret to keep, too..."
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"Mm." It can suck. But Kanae smiles back at the last. "...It's nice to be appreciated," she settles on, and keeps her tea in both hands. She looks into it for a moment, at the matter of secrets.
"Right. Your parents wouldn't approve," Kanae ventures. It's not any more a question than changing her feelings was. "...You can't really take Isabeau's approach," she says. "So..."
"Whatever you figure out, I'll support you if I can. All right?"
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
Kazusa looks down a little too quickly when Kanae smiles back. Suddenly her tea is really interesting. "... I really do appreciate you. Even if I'm bad at showing it sometimes."
"... I'm still not sure I approve, but... yeah. They definitely wouldn't." She lets out a quiet huff. "I'm not sure anybody can do what Fontaine-san does except for Fontaine-san."
Kanae offers support, and... it's something Kazusa sorely needs. "Thanks. It was eating at me and I was... really scared to even say anything. But if I figure out more, I'll... let you know. Thanks, Kanae-chan."
<Pose Tracker> Kanae Fuyuki has posed.
"You'll get better at it," Kanae assures Kazusa. She grins; it's a bold sort of thing to say. But...
"And you'll get there." Pause. Only Isabeau can do what Isabeau dose. Maybe that's true. "Heh," Kanae answers--and then, Kazusa explains...
"Cool," Kanae answers. "You're welcome, Kazusa-chan. ...I'm glad to be here for you."
Then she rises from her seat after putting down her cup. "This calls for snacks. ...Sec."
Good snacks.
<Pose Tracker> Kazusa Motojima has posed.
That grin... "I-I'll try," Kazusa says, fidgeting with a strand of hair before pushing it behind her ear.
"... maybe." She's not sure she will, but she also still just has a lot to figure out.
"I'm glad too. Um... let me know if there's anything I can help you with too, okay?" After a beat she adds, "... though I'm not sure there's anything I can do for either of our social standings."
She nods, "Okay."
It's definitely a good moment for snacks.